I just want one fucking day on tumblr or Facebook where
1. I don’t hear anything about the upcoming election. I’m so over arsenic vs cyanide.
2. I don’t see everybody and their mother posting about increasing racial tensions in America between cops and African Americans (or whatever the pc term is for this group of people since there are Jamaicans and others who fall into this category).
3. I don’t see weird as fuck gender terms that are obviously troll terms (gender is not a fucking ball of fire or “gender that is witch like”).
4. The antis attacking perfectly innocent bdsm lost that has not the slightly hint of anything sex related going on
5. Whining minors about why underage people can’t be in the bdsm community.
6. People saying sex workers aren’t real people or something to this effect.
7. Teenagers pretending they’re professional sociologists on tumblr.
8. Anonymous hate mail.
it’s a bit hot and cold in this household.
my skin is ashes against his cold hands.
you think i’m likeable?
not a chance when I’m a corrupt fun ghoul.
I’ll crack your insides just so you know.
I’ll twist mine in two just for you.
not you, but you.
i mean him.
his fiery red hair so cruel to my eyes.
a blast of cyanide couldn’t do a thing to his hazel eyes.
so come on and ride me, babe full fire.
a riot fest of hunger.
a toxin in my throat corrodes so quickly.
my thirst for your jacket on the ground.
simply puts me in apathy.
you’re my sweet old party.
and my poison in my veins.
and all i want is your pasty white lips.
crashing against my own cold lips.
i want you honey.
i told you what i did for a living.
but you still want more.
oh, oh, oh god you’re so warm.
like a quick drive in the summers.
i could ride you all night.
so i see what i am.
and you see what you are.
we’re gross and crazed.
intoxicated with our lies.
you taste like a quick pain.
so vile and aflame.
whereas im just a glass of champagne.
full of dread and defeat.
come on honey, you’re not afraid.
pull me in the hearse just so i can hear.
these ashes are meant for you.
just as the burned houses are for me.
you’re a riot
im a casket.
you’re my party.
where I’m your ghoul.
im so unfraid when im with you.
you’re so awake, scared when you see me.
i wish for your guts in my hands.
you wish for my kisses on your cheeks.
but who’s to say that im not afraid when im awake?
not you. not me. but god himself.
im such a fool.
while you’re my only hope.
and the radio in this city is out of battery.
fuck the system im with you, you party poison.
SO I’M IN CHURCH RIGHT NOW AND SOMETIMES PEOPLE BRING FOOD AND SNACKS AND WHATEVER RIGHT? WELL AS I WALKED BY THE LITTLE SNACK TABLE THIS ONE LADY GRABS MY SLEEVE AND LOOKS ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND SAYS “dont eat the banana bread. whatever you do, dont eat the banana bread” AND NOW I’M A LITTLE BIT CONCERNED BECAUSE?????? WHY NO BANANA BREAD??? IS THERE CYANIDE IN THE BANANAS???? ARE THERE NAILS BAKED INTO THE BREAD???? WHY CAN’T I EAT BANANA BREAD????????????????
1. During the day, Motyxia sequoiae resembles any other other millipede - but at night, it turns bioluminescent to warn away predators. If this doesn’t work, then it will released a toxic cyanide and four-tasting fluid from its body to deter predators.
When threatened, a sea cucumber releases a sticky poisonous toxin called holothurin. And if that doesn’t do it, the sea cucumber will self-eviscerate. Meaning they will violently contract their muscles together until they secrete some of their organs out of their anus. This fools predators into thinking they are already dead.
3. The Malaysian exploding ants have large glands full of venom inside of their bodies. When threatened, they contract their abs, which causes the glands to explode, spraying their predators with corrosive venom.
4. When the pebble toad feels threatened by predators, it will roll itself up into a tiny ball and fling itself off a roll or a cliff to escape predation. Badass.
5. Hagfish are an eel-like creature about a foot long with no jaws or teeth. But when it feels threatened, it will secrete a thick slime from thousands of pores located around its body. The slime may just seem like a minor nuisance to us, but to other fish, it can choke and suffocate them. Just one hagfish can produce enough slime to fill an entire milk jug.
6. The Bombardier beetle is, unfortunately, found on almost every continent. Looking somewhat innocent, it is, however, famous for being able to spray toxic boiling hot body fluids all over its attackers. At a temperature of over 100 C (212 F), the spray is hot and toxic enough to kill most insects, and enough to severely burn a human.
7. When attacked, the horned lizard pressures its own sinus cavities, and the resulting vessels, and the resulting pressure results in blood being squirted from its up for up to four feet in any direction.
8. When in danger, the newt will push its ribs through the skin which it uses as weapons. The exposed bones are then covered with a poisonous substance which has the potential to kill its predator.
Being one of the smallest species of toothed whales in the sperm whale family, pygmy sperm whales are vulnerable to predation by larger ocean predators, like sharks. In response, they have a developed a grotesque (but effective) defense mechanism. When threatened, the whale will secrete an anal syrup into the water. The whale then stirs up the water to create a giant cloud of poo in which it can take cover.
10. Lybia tessellata is known as the “boxer crab” for its habit of finding small poisonous sea anemones and carrying them around as weapons in its claws. The stinging cells of the anemones aren’t powerful enough to penetrate the crab’s armor, but they are enough to fend off potential predators as well as paralyze smaller animals, which the crab then eats with its maxillipeds.