cwriting

anonymous asked:

"are you cheating on me?" calum (:

You had been in the living room, on hand and knee as you scrubbed the coffee table. You rarely cleaned like this, only when you were really nervous and you were hoping your boyfriend wouldn’t catch on to it. Which he hadn’t, he hadn’t figured it out. However, he had come to Another conclusion and it was driving him insane. 

“Are you cheating on me?” you heard his voice from the other side of the room, turning to see him leaning on the door frame with expectant eyes. His hands were tucked into the pockets of his sweats which had annoyed your- the fact that he had the cheeks to stand there all casual as he accused you of something so horrific. However, unbeknownst to you, it was to hide the fact that they were trembling. Adrenaline flowing through his veins at an unstoppable pace as he readied himself for your answer, fully expecting a yes. He was so sure of it and despite not having received confirmation from you, be it in words or through physical evidence, he was already tore up about it - feeling the familiar twinge of anger lit within him. 

You stood from your position on the floor, hands still holding the bottle of cleaner and cloth as they rested on your hips. “What did you just say to me?” you challenged. You knew what he had said but you wanted to see if he’d have the balls to say it again, never hearing something more ridiculous in.your entire life. Clearly your confrontational attitude had triggered his as he stepped forward from his spot to stand behind the couch, the item of furniture being the only thing that separated the two of you. 

“Dont act stupid, you heard me. Are you cheating on me?” This time around he practically spat it, his words laced with such maliciousness. You actually laughed, much to his distaste, despite finding no humour in this at all. To you, there was no point in even dignifying such a stupid question with an answer - so you didn’t. 

“Where the fuck is this coming from?” Your face was set into a deep frown now, voice raised as you struggled to stay calm, beyond offended by his accusation. There was absolutely no way you’d even think of doing that, if not because it went against your morals then because there was no one else in your life that meant as much to you as he did, you could never want anyone more than you wanted him. 

He scoffed at your lack of answer, his mind so clouded by rage and hurt that he pushed logic to the side and took it as a yes, clearly following your lead of dancing around the actual core of the topic. “Who is he?” He seethed, leaning forward to rest his hands on the back of the couch, hands tightening around the soft cushions with so much force his knuckles turned white. He knew it was useless to ask, regardless of whether he knew the guy it wouldn’t do him any good to put a face to his worst nightmares - not being able to shake the image of someone else with their hands on you, tortured by the idea that someone had had you as vulnerable below him as he had, all of the distorted scenarios culminating with the heart breaking idea that you might have uttered “I love you” to someone else. What he was most terrified of was that you didn’t love him anymore.

“Oh my god” you growled in frustration. “There is no he, Calum. Only you.” Hands stretched out in front of you, gestures enhancing how much you were trying to convey that he was wrong.

“Bullshit.” He shouted back. “I’ve barely seen you in the past week because you’ve been out god knows where, with God knows who - I sure as hell don’t because on top of that you’ve barely uttered two words to me recently.” You rolled your eyes and made a noise of disgust, he was right you had spent a lot of time at your friends’ recently but only so you could try to figure everything out, terrified of letting it slip in conversation with him. He was right, but for all the wrong reasons. But he wasn’t stopping.

“Make all the noise you want sweetheart, you know it’s true as much as I do so don’t you dare play this off as nothing.” His finger raised to point harshly at you, almost as if you were a child in trouble, which only enraged you more.

“God, you’re such an oblivious asshole” you hissed, eyes narrowing at him.

“Oh, I’m the asshole? Me? Fuck that, you’re the one sneaking around behind my back. Any time I’ve come near you recently you’ve rejected me like I’m carrying the black plague, clearly I’m no longer necessary because you’re getting it from someone else.”

And with that statement, serving as a stab to the heart at the fact that the love of your life saw you as nothing more as some unfaithful girl that was supposedly opening her legs to any one and everyone according to him, you’d had enough. This wasn’t how you’d wanted him to find out but he’d pushed you so far, you were so sick of not getting a word in as he steamrolled right over anything you tried to say, what did you possibly have to lose?

“I’m pregnant.” You shouted over him, hands flying out to the side as you finally gave it up. He stopped midway through his word, frozen in his aggravated position.

“With his baby?” He’d snapped. You’d seen red, frustrated beyond belief with him at this point. In response you threw the bottle of cleaner in his direction, never intending to hit him but aiming perfectly as it flew close enough to his head that it snapped him out of this insane mindset that you’d been unfaithful, not caring in the slightest as it hit the wall behind him. Both of you stood breathing heavily, staring the other down as he processed the information, you could visibly see the rage draining from him as it was replaced, no doubt, by a flurry of other emotions.

Sighing heavily, you dropped the cloth to the floor before rubbing your hands over your face as you moved to perch on the edge of the couch, your back to him. You hadn’t planned on getting knocked up, neither of you were teenagers but you were still freshly into your twenties, never even beginning to think about planning a family. It wasn’t the right time, not with his career just beginning to take off, the prospect of him being away for long periods of time not exactly perfect.

“How long have you known?” He asked softly from behind you.

“A few weeks?” You offered weakly as you stated at your feet. You heard him breathe out some expletive, the sound followed by the padding of his feet against the floor as he came to sit next to you on the couch, his leg pressed against yours as he sat close, both staring at the floor now.

“You should have told me” he sighed, hands fumbling as he didn’t dare look at you. He wasn’t angry now, not in the slightest. Now, he was filled with fear. Mind racing with all the new responsibilities he was going to have to take on, already panicking about how to make up formula or change a diaper.

“I know and I’m sorry I didn’t, I really am. Jesus, I didn’t mean to make you think I was cheating.” You laughed softly before your lips fell into a nervous pout, knowing that from this moment on everything was going to change and it might not be in the happy family direction you had hoped. “I just– I needed time to figure everything out.” His head turned to look at you now, hoping you weren’t implying what he thought you were. To him, there was only one way he saw this going. It wasn’t going to be easy and he was beyond terrified, but through it all he could still feel a little tremor of excitement.

“I’m aware the timing isn’t great and this could completely ruin everything we have and I’m more than conscious of the consequences this could have on your career and I know just how hard you’ve worked and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize that.” You head shook as you struggled to speak through the lump in your throat, still too scared to look at him, fully expecting his face to say it all. “Thats why I’ve been distant, I was trying to get it all straight in my head. I’ve been readying myself for whatever way this goes because, believe me, I know this is a lot so I’ll respect however you want to go about this–” you were cut off in your prime as you babbled by his voice, no longer shaky and weak.

“Stop, God, stop all of that. It’s not great timing, you’re right but shit happens” you both released a much needed laugh at his typically poor choice of words, knowing he meant nothing nasty by them. “This was going to happen at some point, at least I’d hoped it would.” his eyes flickered to yours as he revealed this new information, shrugging as he continued. “So it happened a little earlier than we’d have liked - big deal. Yeah, this is going to be a big change - there’s no denying both of us are aware of that - but it another sense, it’s not. We’ll take on new roles in life and have a major responsibility put down upon us, of course, but I’m still gonna be me and you’re still gonna be you. We’ll still be us, you’ve always come first no matter where my career is going and that’s never going to change, and I’m pretty sure we can manage through anything. Even if that anything is raising a little mini-us.” Neither of you could help the smile that spread across your face at the thought. Leaning back he relaxed into the soft cushions of the couch, taking you with him as his arm wrapped around your waist.

“We’ve got a lot to figure out” you sighed, feeling the anger and anxiety from it all wash away as his thumb rubbed absentmindedly against the skin of your side.

“Plenty time for that” he chuckled.

Little Bird

I decided to forego sleep tonight and write another thing for the + by Ed Sheeran series. Mixed it up a little this time and chose to make it a Calum one instead for a little variety. It’s also pretty autumnal because I’m total trash for Autumn/winter. Anyways, enjoy! And if you’re interested you can find the rest of the pieces from this series here in my masterlist!

“See this isn’t so bad is it?” You smiled at your boyfriend, tongue poking out from between your teeth, knowing how reluctant he’d been to come out with you. It wasn’t the best day for a walk, judging by the wellies covering your feet, you knew that. But the woods next to the little lodge you had both come to to get away for the two days he had off just looked too pretty - all lush and mysteriously enchanting as it glittered with the remains of the rain you’d had that morning - to pass up.

“Can I go with no comment?” He smirked, giving your hand that he held in his a gentle squeeze as he bumped your hip with his own. Honestly, he’d rather not be out in the middle of some forest as the somewhat beautifully stormy yet very grey clouds loomed overhead, his canvas shoes not the best for trudging along some muddy pathway. But you’d been so damn enthralled by the collection of trees and shrubbery, you eyes had been so glittering with hope that he didn’t have it in him to say no. But he’d still much rather be back at the cabin with dry feet and the fire lit and you draped over him like his own personal blanket.

You rolled your eyes, he’d been cooped up on buses and in hotel rooms for months now and yet he was still turning his nose up at the chance to get outside - not city-style outside surrounded by high rise buildings and shrouded in smoke - but actually out into the fresh air. You loved it, sure there was a slight chill to the damp air but it gave it that crisp autumnal edge you craved every year, everything feeling so much clearer in this atmosphere.

“Oh, cheer up. We might see some animals! Like a deer or a fox or– oh my god a bird!” You gasped as you cut off your own listing, free hand pointing to the bird in a small heap on the ground.

“Woah, hold up now Safari Sam, a bird?! Now I’m really glad you dragged me out here because I’ve never seen one of those before.” Calum scoffed, words dripping with sarcasm as he rolled his eyes.

“Shut up” you snapped at him, grabbing your hand from where it had been wrapped in his to shove his shoulder lightly, taking off through the thick shrubbery and plants that lay off the beaten track as you tried to get to it.

“Where are you going?” He called after you as you disappeared behind a tree, groaning at the fact that he was going to have to go after you, not wanting you wandering around in the woods by yourself where a bear or god knows what could get you. “You’re going to end up breaking your fucking leg” he sighed, knowing well enough that you were the biggest danger to yourself with your unavoidable clumsiness, although fearing for the safety of his own limbs as he clambered through various forms of nature to follow you.

Turning to slip around the back of the large oak tree he’d seen you disappear behind he found you crouched down under its vast branches, hands tucked into your sleeves and resting atop your knees as you looked down at the small bird that lay awkwardly on the forest floor, chirping weakly. He knew that sympathetic look in your eyes and he was already shaking his head at what was about to follow. “I think he’s hurt.” You spoke, tone hushed as if you didn’t want your voice to break it anymore than it already was.

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anonymous asked:

'I just don't want to hurt you' calum ((:

“Oh come on, you’re not even trying!” You laughed, hands on your hips. It was a beautiful day in your home town, which was rare, hence why you’d decided to suggest going for a run to your only too compliant boyfriend. It sounded great in theory, a little more exercise here and there never hurt. Except for the fact that you hated running and got bored after 15 minutes, deciding you guy’s could get in your exercise through boxing instead. He’d always boasted about how good he’d gotten with his trainer, and now you wanted him to teach you.

“I just don’t want to hurt you!” He laughed back, eyes clouded with adoration at the scrappy girl stood before him with her fists up far too high to serve their purpose in what he assumed you were to hoping be a block. You were both stood in the middle of the park, sun beaming down on you both as he momentarily zoned out and tried to figure out how the fuck he’d managed to land you. Gaze lingering on you as you bounced about from foot to foot, trying your best to taunt him into engaging with you, completely clueless as to why you’d picked him out of all people, but more than thankful that you had.

“Jesus Christ, Calum, give me some credit. I’m not made of glass.” You sighed, head shaking fondly.

“To me you may as well be” he muttered, arms still crossed as he watched you chuck out several good punches. “I’m not going to hit you!”

“I don’t want you to! Just jab, just pretend ones, please?” You sang, halting your movements with another heavy sigh.

“Not a chance” he sang back, causing you to roll your eyes.

“Fine, I’ll just hit you then.” You huffed, stepping one foot forward as you began hitting him with a featherlight touch, sharing the same sentiment of never wanting to hurt him. You stood by your statement that you could handle yourself, growing up with a brother you were no stranger to both defending yourself and inflicting pain during sibling bickering. And you knew he’d never hurt you but, of course, he wasn’t willing to try because of what if’s. And you appreciated it, not really being that bothered that he wouldn’t teach you what he knew as you found your new game much more fun.

Skipping around you overplayed your moves, you practically danced around him pretending to have a set rhythm as you barely brushed your fists against him but acted as if every blow you were delivering was the one that got you the victory.

He tried to keep an unimpressed face for as long as he could, tried to pretend to anyone that may have passed by that was just as aware how silly his girlfriend looked as they were, keeping up the act that he wasn’t amused in the slightest, resisting the overwhelming urge to join in your fun. But it proved impossible, first and foremost because you were keeping your touches so gentle they were quite literally tickling him, not only breaking his facade but completely smashing through it as he erupted in a flurry of giddy laughter. Further, you looked too damn adorable as you played, your ponytail swinging around with your efforts, your shapely legs looking far too good in your running leggings for him to manage keeping a straight face for more than a minute.

“Okay, you want me to fight back?” He laughed, torso swaying to and fro as he began to humour you and try to dodge your hits.

“Yes!” You cheered enthusiastically. “Are you sure?” He smirked, eyes pinned to you despite your sporadic movements. “Oh my god, yes.” You groaned through your chuckle, still throwing out weak hits.

“Alright, you asked for it.” He sighed cockily, hands flat out as he shrugged, mirroring your stance. But he was far quicker than you, grabbing your hand as it jabbed out and pulling you to him with a surprised squeal from you. It was over pretty quickly, barely registering the swift peck to your lips before he leaned down, throwing you over his shoulder with no trouble at all.

“No!” You wailed petulantly breath short due to trying to speak through your laughter. “Calum, this is cheating. Boxers don’t do this!”

“I’d say ‘look how much I care, but’” he led off with a chuckle, referring to the fact that you were facing his back with no way of getting out of his grip, hand moving to pat against your ass for effect before taking off in a jog around the park singing and shouting about how he was the heavyweight champion and how his girlfriend sucked at boxing, you swatting at his back and kicking your legs as you found yourself wheezing in the best way possible, from your unstoppable laughter, never having been more glad to love someone than you did him.

anonymous asked:

"I never meant to hurt you" calum (-:

You stood alone at the raised table, fingers clutched tightly around the large glass of wine you’d gotten from the bar a few moments prior, eyes flitting from person to person as you watched them dance. It was your auntie’s 50th birthday and much like yourself she took any excuse to party. However you weren’t much in the party mood. It seemed as if everyone here was coupled up, even your parents were living it up on the dance floor as you stayed on the outskirts, making do with keeping yourself company with several glasses of rosé.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were avoiding me.” You recognised the voice without even having to turn around, the signature tones of it etched into your memory forever. Turning slightly, your lips stretched into a smile at the sight of him, the boyish charm still ever present in his features.

“Calum.” Your eyebrows rose in surprise that he was actually there in the flesh. His family with friends with yours, finding yourselves at the same parties and dinners throughout the years. Both being similar ages and about the only young ones at such events you had gravitated towards each other when you were kids, situating yourselves at the far end of the table from the adults as you giggled and joked over whatever kids do, having your own fun. This tradition carried on straight throughout most of your life. His family lived on the other side of town, not too far a stretch but still you found yourselves waiting only for the inevitable birthday or anniversary celebration to bring you both back together. As you’d both grown older, maturing into young adults and with the aid of the odd alcoholic drink sneaked to you by family members, you began to appreciate him as more than just the kid you hung out with at family gatherings. Your heart sped up a little faster at the sight of him, his presence as he sat next to you now far more overbearing, the touch of his skin against yours now evoking tingles throughout your entire being. And the feelings were reciprocated on his end too. He no longer saw you as just the girl he knew through family connections. You were the cute girl he knew through family connections. The girl that made him actually care about how he dressed for these things, the one that made his mouth go dry as you approached him with arms open wide for a hug when you greeted him, the one person he could never have wrapped in his arms for long enough.

Fate stepped in, or whatever higher power you chose to blame, and at some party that you couldn’t recall too well one of you - another detail you both fiercely disagreed on - finally grew a pair and crossed the line. It wasn’t glamorous, as not many kisses in early teenage years are, as you both stood outside the hall in which the party continued to rage on - as much as a group of middle ages family members could rage - oblivious to you both as keen hands grabbed at each other, lips moved eagerly against each other.

And so it continued, greeting each other as normal in front of family members knowing you’d never live it down from each respective side if you got caught and neither of you wishing to put yourselves through the inevitable interrogation. Evidently, your loved ones had seen it coming far before you two, calling it on only your second or third time meeting. It became something of an inside joke or game between you both to see how long you could go before finding an excuse to duck out for a while, competing to use the most inventive reason for leaving. Most times the doors had barely closed behind you before one was pulling the other into them, hearts pounding with desire.

It was clear that what was happening had been going on for far longer than necessary if it were nothing but harmless fun, but both camps were terrified of pushing for something more, scared that the other would shoot them down - not only ensuing an awkward night but ruining the relationship even in its most basic form of friendship for good. But as it turned out, it didn’t take loose lips and Dutch courage to achieve that. All it took was Calum turning up to your Dad’s New Years Eve party last year with his new girlfriend.

You’d stayed still as you hung in the doorway to the kitchen as you watched him move through everyone, surviving kiss on the cheek after kiss on the cheek from your many aunt’s - always welcomed as one of their own - working the room as he introduced her to everyone. It had hurt, more than any scrape on your knee or stubbed toe, but what hurt more was that he had the audacity to avoid you. Which you weren’t going to let happen. You knew he and you were nothing official, technically, and this was new territory for you both but you deserved more than this and you’d be damned if you weren’t going to make it right yourself. So you’d weaved through the clusters of drunken adults, dodging invitations to dance and calls for you to join your cousins for shots as you made your way to where he stood grabbing a drink from your dining room table. “Wow, I didn’t even see you come in.” You’d stayed loudly from behind him, painfully bright smile painted on your face.

His eyes were blown out with an emotion you couldn’t quite read, flicking his vision between you and his girlfriend who had also turned at your abrupt introduction clearly worried as to what was to follow. You’d assumed he hadn’t wanted you to let her know your history, when in reality he was terrified at the prospect that this could end in him losing you, knowing it was a shitty move to not have told you. In fact, if he dug a little deeper he knew it was a shifty move not to have just manned-up and ask you out a long time ago. You held a place in his heart that no one could take but the previously mentioned fears had paralysed him, fooling him into the belief that maybe another girl, maybe the one he had with him, could dull the lonely ache in his chest. But you’d acted civil, seeing no reason not to, introducing yourself to her followed by an obligatory compliment on her dress and finishing up by answering her enquiries regarding how you knew her boyfriend with a neutral ‘ah, our families are close friends so occasionally we’ll find ourselves overlapping’ before making a swift exit to find the bottle of vodka you’d hidden for yourself under the sink.

Which had been the last time you’d talked to him properly, both resorting to mere waves across tables whenever such overlapping of lives occured, even long after him and that girl were over. Until tonight that is, tonight was breaking the relatively newfound protocol.

“I had no idea you were coming.” You spoke, eyes still nervously taking him in never having been within 5 feet of him for a long time, raising the wine glass to your lips for a healthy sip.

“What, and miss a chance to have your Mum and Aunts tell me not only how cute I used to be but how ruggedly handsome I’ve become? No way, my ego thrives on these gatherings” he smirked, tight lipped until your loud laughter tumbled from your lips - which he was having to manually stop himself from staring at - joining you in the joyful sound.

As much as you hated it, in that moment it felt like nothing had changed. Yet you hated it so much because the nostalgic feeling was short lived, the silence that followed it reminding you that you were more or less nothing to him now. Despite the fact that he saw you, still, as the complete opposite. Especially as you stood before him, every bit as gorgeous as the last time he’d laid eyes on you, still mentally beating himself up for being the reason you always made sure to be stationed on the opposite side of any room to him. Which reminded him why he’d risked life and limb by coming over to you in the first place. “Do you wanna find somewhere to hide away, like we used to?” He blurted out, your wide eyes and dropped jaw pushing him to elaborate. “Just to talk!”

Your features softened, feeling a bittersweet wave of hope flowing through you. But you were determined not to be hurt again, not wanting to ruin the previous moment of happiness by putting more of an award strain on your already withered relationship with him. “I can’t I promised everyone I’d look after their bags.” It was a weak excuse, but you were rolling with it all the same.

“I never meant to hurt you.” Throwing all caution to the wind he swallowed his pride, valuing it far less than he did you, words drenched in remorse and regret. Your head tilted as you started at him, letting his words set in as you felt a familiar lump in your throat, a pinching at the back of your eyes at how sincere his statement was.

“You didn’t.” You shrugged limply, lips just managing to twitch up as you tried to offer him a smile of reassurance, feeling guilty for making him feel bad. Evidently it didn’t work, him shooting you a tell-tale look of utter disbelief. “It doesn’t matter.” Your head shook with more force than the last time, hoping he’d just drop it because you’d sure fought hard enough to, eyes shifting back to the dancefloor so as not to be worn down by how seemingly honest he was being.

“Yes it does!” He urged, stepping forward to lay a hand on your hip, bringing your attention swift back to him. “I don’t like the idea of anyone hurting you, even now as we communicate purely through half hearted hand gestures, I’ll never be okay with that. So you can imagine how torn up I am that I’m the one who hurt you. But what trumps that completely is that I miss you. A lot.” His tone was pleading, eyes begging you but for what you weren’t exactly sure and that had your blood pressure through the roof, breath ragged with nerves.

“You just miss having someone to make out with when the party gets boring.” you laughed uneasily, not unaware of how close he was getting to you.

“I miss making out with you, yes. But it’s much more than that and you know it. I know it’s been a while but I’ve been dying for someone in this stupid family to get married or christen their kid or buy a new house to throw a house warming party in, Jesus anything so I could hope to get even two seconds alone with you to tell you how sorry I am. How stupid I was to even try to fill the space not having you had created.” You swallowed thickly as words fell from his mouth at an unstoppable pace but you kept up with every syllable, hanging off of his every word as you felt your resolve depleting, no longer fighting against the current as you found yourself more and more willing to be swept up in him. Feelings you’d filed away before the bells had chimed that night flying from their confines.

“I don’t know what you want from me.” You breathed, not needing to be any louder as just inches separated you both, the party going on around you all but forgotten.

“I want you.” He was sure of himself now, fighting with everything in him not to close the space between you himself, determined to do this right this time. “All of you, in every sense of the word. Whatever you’re willing to give me, I’ll take whatever I can get at this point so long as–” Having heard enough you decided to follow your heart as your hands grasped at the material of his shirt pulling him in impossibly closer to you as your lips moulded against his, not realising you’d missed the feel of him as much as you had until then.

Pulling apart you were both breathless, noses still brushing as you both fought to take in air. “Not that I’m not thrilled about this but, God, in clear view of all of the families? How characteristically not us.” He laughed airily. Rolling your eyes you couldn’t help but laugh too, hooking your arm around his neck as you pulled him into you once again neither of you particularly bothered if any one were to peer through the darkness of that end of the large hall, far too elated to care. No one was looking though, everyone in there that knew your history had already expected you both to have snuck off by this point, knowing it was only a matter of time.