"are you cheating on me?" calum (:
You had been in the living room, on hand and knee as you scrubbed the coffee table. You rarely cleaned like this, only when you were really nervous and you were hoping your boyfriend wouldn’t catch on to it. Which he hadn’t, he hadn’t figured it out. However, he had come to Another conclusion and it was driving him insane.
“Are you cheating on me?” you heard his voice from the other side of the room, turning to see him leaning on the door frame with expectant eyes. His hands were tucked into the pockets of his sweats which had annoyed your- the fact that he had the cheeks to stand there all casual as he accused you of something so horrific. However, unbeknownst to you, it was to hide the fact that they were trembling. Adrenaline flowing through his veins at an unstoppable pace as he readied himself for your answer, fully expecting a yes. He was so sure of it and despite not having received confirmation from you, be it in words or through physical evidence, he was already tore up about it - feeling the familiar twinge of anger lit within him.
You stood from your position on the floor, hands still holding the bottle of cleaner and cloth as they rested on your hips. “What did you just say to me?” you challenged. You knew what he had said but you wanted to see if he’d have the balls to say it again, never hearing something more ridiculous in.your entire life. Clearly your confrontational attitude had triggered his as he stepped forward from his spot to stand behind the couch, the item of furniture being the only thing that separated the two of you.
“Dont act stupid, you heard me. Are you cheating on me?” This time around he practically spat it, his words laced with such maliciousness. You actually laughed, much to his distaste, despite finding no humour in this at all. To you, there was no point in even dignifying such a stupid question with an answer - so you didn’t.
“Where the fuck is this coming from?” Your face was set into a deep frown now, voice raised as you struggled to stay calm, beyond offended by his accusation. There was absolutely no way you’d even think of doing that, if not because it went against your morals then because there was no one else in your life that meant as much to you as he did, you could never want anyone more than you wanted him.
He scoffed at your lack of answer, his mind so clouded by rage and hurt that he pushed logic to the side and took it as a yes, clearly following your lead of dancing around the actual core of the topic. “Who is he?” He seethed, leaning forward to rest his hands on the back of the couch, hands tightening around the soft cushions with so much force his knuckles turned white. He knew it was useless to ask, regardless of whether he knew the guy it wouldn’t do him any good to put a face to his worst nightmares - not being able to shake the image of someone else with their hands on you, tortured by the idea that someone had had you as vulnerable below him as he had, all of the distorted scenarios culminating with the heart breaking idea that you might have uttered “I love you” to someone else. What he was most terrified of was that you didn’t love him anymore.
“Oh my god” you growled in frustration. “There is no he, Calum. Only you.” Hands stretched out in front of you, gestures enhancing how much you were trying to convey that he was wrong.
“Bullshit.” He shouted back. “I’ve barely seen you in the past week because you’ve been out god knows where, with God knows who - I sure as hell don’t because on top of that you’ve barely uttered two words to me recently.” You rolled your eyes and made a noise of disgust, he was right you had spent a lot of time at your friends’ recently but only so you could try to figure everything out, terrified of letting it slip in conversation with him. He was right, but for all the wrong reasons. But he wasn’t stopping.
“Make all the noise you want sweetheart, you know it’s true as much as I do so don’t you dare play this off as nothing.” His finger raised to point harshly at you, almost as if you were a child in trouble, which only enraged you more.
“God, you’re such an oblivious asshole” you hissed, eyes narrowing at him.
“Oh, I’m the asshole? Me? Fuck that, you’re the one sneaking around behind my back. Any time I’ve come near you recently you’ve rejected me like I’m carrying the black plague, clearly I’m no longer necessary because you’re getting it from someone else.”
And with that statement, serving as a stab to the heart at the fact that the love of your life saw you as nothing more as some unfaithful girl that was supposedly opening her legs to any one and everyone according to him, you’d had enough. This wasn’t how you’d wanted him to find out but he’d pushed you so far, you were so sick of not getting a word in as he steamrolled right over anything you tried to say, what did you possibly have to lose?
“I’m pregnant.” You shouted over him, hands flying out to the side as you finally gave it up. He stopped midway through his word, frozen in his aggravated position.
“With his baby?” He’d snapped. You’d seen red, frustrated beyond belief with him at this point. In response you threw the bottle of cleaner in his direction, never intending to hit him but aiming perfectly as it flew close enough to his head that it snapped him out of this insane mindset that you’d been unfaithful, not caring in the slightest as it hit the wall behind him. Both of you stood breathing heavily, staring the other down as he processed the information, you could visibly see the rage draining from him as it was replaced, no doubt, by a flurry of other emotions.
Sighing heavily, you dropped the cloth to the floor before rubbing your hands over your face as you moved to perch on the edge of the couch, your back to him. You hadn’t planned on getting knocked up, neither of you were teenagers but you were still freshly into your twenties, never even beginning to think about planning a family. It wasn’t the right time, not with his career just beginning to take off, the prospect of him being away for long periods of time not exactly perfect.
“How long have you known?” He asked softly from behind you.
“A few weeks?” You offered weakly as you stated at your feet. You heard him breathe out some expletive, the sound followed by the padding of his feet against the floor as he came to sit next to you on the couch, his leg pressed against yours as he sat close, both staring at the floor now.
“You should have told me” he sighed, hands fumbling as he didn’t dare look at you. He wasn’t angry now, not in the slightest. Now, he was filled with fear. Mind racing with all the new responsibilities he was going to have to take on, already panicking about how to make up formula or change a diaper.
“I know and I’m sorry I didn’t, I really am. Jesus, I didn’t mean to make you think I was cheating.” You laughed softly before your lips fell into a nervous pout, knowing that from this moment on everything was going to change and it might not be in the happy family direction you had hoped. “I just– I needed time to figure everything out.” His head turned to look at you now, hoping you weren’t implying what he thought you were. To him, there was only one way he saw this going. It wasn’t going to be easy and he was beyond terrified, but through it all he could still feel a little tremor of excitement.
“I’m aware the timing isn’t great and this could completely ruin everything we have and I’m more than conscious of the consequences this could have on your career and I know just how hard you’ve worked and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize that.” You head shook as you struggled to speak through the lump in your throat, still too scared to look at him, fully expecting his face to say it all. “Thats why I’ve been distant, I was trying to get it all straight in my head. I’ve been readying myself for whatever way this goes because, believe me, I know this is a lot so I’ll respect however you want to go about this–” you were cut off in your prime as you babbled by his voice, no longer shaky and weak.
“Stop, God, stop all of that. It’s not great timing, you’re right but shit happens” you both released a much needed laugh at his typically poor choice of words, knowing he meant nothing nasty by them. “This was going to happen at some point, at least I’d hoped it would.” his eyes flickered to yours as he revealed this new information, shrugging as he continued. “So it happened a little earlier than we’d have liked - big deal. Yeah, this is going to be a big change - there’s no denying both of us are aware of that - but it another sense, it’s not. We’ll take on new roles in life and have a major responsibility put down upon us, of course, but I’m still gonna be me and you’re still gonna be you. We’ll still be us, you’ve always come first no matter where my career is going and that’s never going to change, and I’m pretty sure we can manage through anything. Even if that anything is raising a little mini-us.” Neither of you could help the smile that spread across your face at the thought. Leaning back he relaxed into the soft cushions of the couch, taking you with him as his arm wrapped around your waist.
“We’ve got a lot to figure out” you sighed, feeling the anger and anxiety from it all wash away as his thumb rubbed absentmindedly against the skin of your side.
“Plenty time for that” he chuckled.