cuz it's funny

If you wanna imagine what it was like for me to watch ghostbusters, just picture me sweating every time Kate McKinnon (Jillian Holtzmann) was on screen, and me trying to hide it from my mother, who kept commenting on how attractive Chris Hemsworth is. And that just illicited a “heh, yeah…” from me.

This just happened.

Jo: i am SO sick of sniffing and snorting consistantly, so i jammed a wad of kleenex up one nostril so i can breathe without having to monitor snot drippage. i admit to looking like a doofus, but i have relief at last. unless you already practice this, i suggest it by way of saving on kleenex.

Me: You mean like this?

Jo: …not QUITE like that.

Me: What’s that? I can’t hear you.

Jo: 

Me: Were you pointing at something? I can’t really see.

Jo: mrmf mrrmble?

Me: Hang on, I need a tissue. Do you have one? I seem to be out.

Jo: i dunno, i can’t find them myself

youtube

30 Ways to Reject Someone

Okay so guys I’ve got this really great headcanon that’s based on my own experiences growing up in youth group.

Cuz like, we used to go to church camp every summer, and every year, without fail, on the last night of camp, the youth group’s “core students” would stand up and promise to be better Christians in the coming school year, and they’d start crying and talking about how much they’d drifted away from God and how it was definitely gonna be different now because this time they were for real.

They would promise that this coming school year they would be on fire for God and reach the whole school and be nicer to everyone, and it was always this really emotional thing and all their friends would be crying and hugging them and making those same commitments with them. And then a year later at the next church camp, those same kids were back up there saying the same things.

And like, it was mostly the popular rich kids (or middle class, at least) who did this every year. It was the star athletes, or the pretty girls that everyone liked.

So now I’m imagining Cordelia Chase and her clique all attending First Baptist Sunnydale or something regularly and being super involved in the youth group there (because I straight up knew kids in youth group who were as popular and mean as Cordy), and going to youth camp every year and being the ones who got overly emotional and making all those commitments on the last night of camp.

And then one year, one of the less popular kids who’s sort of on the fringes, both in youth group and at school, decides to invite some people to camp, so he drags Willow and Xander along (“I’m Jewish!” Willow reminds him, but he insists it’ll still be fun. Xander mostly goes to try and meet girls).

So they’re sitting there during group time on the last night of camp, and Cordelia and her clique all stand up and start crying and making promises and spouting off all that stuff they’ve totally said every year prior to this. And Willow and Xander are just sitting there incredulously, exchanging glances like, yeah we know that ain’t happening.

And then when school starts again, every time Cordy is being a bitch to them, Willow and Xander just share this knowing look that can basically be summed up as, so much for church camp.

Dear -last person to speak to you- ,

This is sort of difficult for me to explain but 1________ 2______. I realized this when you were 3__________ with 4_________. I’m sure you’re 5__________ enough to understand that 6_______ 7___________

8_________

Your name here

P.S. - 9_________ 10_____________, just thought you should know.


———————–


Ok, now that you’ve looked over the base of the letter, answer these questions by putting the answers in the blanks with the corresponding numbers in the letter base.


Post what your letter looks like and let the crack begin!!


1) What’s the color of your shirt?

Blue - America 

Red - England

White - China

Black - Lithuania

Green- Japan

Grey - Greece

Yellow - Turkey

Pink - Sweden

Brown - Poland

Purple - Iceland

No shirt - France

Other - Russia


2) Which is your birth month?

January - and you are getting married

February - fell into a ditch

March - is in love with you

April - is out to get you

May - likes your mom

June - and you are related 

July - has a secret obsession over Brad Pitt

August - is really a unicorn

September - loves sniffing sharpies

October - and you are going to be dating

November - is really a leprechaun

December - has frozen to death


3) Which food do you prefer?

Pasta - invading Austria

Burritos - kicking puppies

Ramen - assassinating George Bush

Salad - getting your nails done

Tacos - learning to fly

Candy/chocolate - dancing like mentally challenged squirrels 


4) What’s the color of your socks?

Yellow - Sealand

Red - Finland

Black - Russia

Blue - Latvia

Purple - America

White - Austria

Grey - France

Brown - China

Orange - Korea

Pink - Japan

Barefoot - Rome

Other - Hungary 


5) What do you prefer to watch on TV?

One Tree Hill - Senile

Heroes- Frostbitten

Lost - High

Simpsons- Cowardly

The news - Scarred

American Idol - Masochistic

Family Guy - Open 

Gossip Girl - Middle-class

Annat - Shamed


6)What’s the color of your underwear?

Black - Cuba

White - Russia

Grey - Lithuania

Brown - Denmark

Purple - Poland

Red - Sweden

Blue - America

Yellow - England

Orange - France

Pink - Canada 

Other/Animal Print - China


7)Your mood right now?

Happy - is about to set your house on fire

Sad - is going to stop at nothing to kill your pet llama

Bored - is planning his revenge on you

Angry - hates your strange cucumber fetish

Depressed - is going to eat your cookies

Excited - is secretly an F.B.I agent

Nervous - snuck cocaine into your backpack this morning

Worried - is in love with your pet goat

Apathetic - believes he can fly

Silly - is allergic to your earlobes 

Other - loves Hello Kitty


8)Which country would you want to vacation at?

England - Go drown yourself 

America - Best of luck with the sex-change

France - Love you always

Spain - Somewhere over the rainbow

Greece - Your everlasting enemy

China - I hate your face

Japan - Go milk a cow

Germany - Please don’t hurt me

Italy - Pasta with love


9)What is your hair color?

Brown - France

Black - Poland

Blonde - England

White/Grey - Russia

Bald - Rome

Red/Orange - China

Other/Dyed - America 


10)What is your eye color?

Green- thinks you need serious mental help

Blue- will never love you

Brown- is out to get you 

Black- stole all the food in your fridge

Hazel- is tied up in my closet

Other- hates you

——————-

Dear Reichenfeels


This is sort of difficult for me to explain but England and you are going to be dating. I realized this when you were kicking puppies with Lativa and Japan. I’m sure you’re masochistic enough to understand that America is allergic to your earlobes.

Go drown yourself,

Starry.

P.S. - France and England think you need help, are out to get you, just thought you should know.

okay tmi but my mom was calling my name for me to go to her, but I was going pee (which I made sure to tell her) and turns out she’s doing the same, so she yells from the other side of the house, from her bathroom “I’m just gonna send you the picture!!”

And it was a picture of a guinea pig.

instagram

I made myself a ringtone, aka: A Sentient Potato Thinks It’s Funny

Made with Instagram