cute hand bags


For this to work Neil should both be a little shit and have exy balls with him at all times, so it seems pretty reasonable to me

Based on this

Also imagine Nicky shouting “Kinky!” in the bg for extra nonsense


etsyfindoftheday | 8.5.17

STEAL OF THE WEEK: avocado purse by detusa

carry your coins, ear buds, and more in this little double-sided avocado zipper pouch — it’s just $14.49 for a little hand-painted watercolor piece of art :) so cute!

disneydame88  asked:

Number 7 - Jackunzel fake relationship au! I'm a sucker for some good old stereotypes :)

“This isn’t going to work.”

“It’s going to work, just trust me.” Hiccup said, taking a deep breath, “Merida said that the girl is a long time friend and has been doing this for awhile.”

Jack sat on the couch, his suit was new and pressed yet his tie hung around his neck. He was nervous. Sure he had played a lot of tricks and pranks on his family before but not like this. It was younger sisters wedding and of course he was expected to bring a ‘plus one’. He was already forced into the procession by being a groomsmen upon Emma’s request, but now his entire family expected him to marry before his twenty two year old sister.

He couldn’t arrive dateless especially if Elsa was supposed to be there.

The doorbell rang.

Hiccup was the first to answer, dressed in a suit himself with a green shirt underneath. The brunette smiled and opened his mouth to greet the girl when she looked up at him. His speech faltered and he couldn’t help but stare.

Jack was not a patient man and quickly got up and stomped toward the door,

“Well? Are you going to let her–”

“Which one of you is Jack Overland?” The girl asked sweetly, her big green doe eyes looking between the two males.

The woman was petite but everything about her fit her size. She wore a light pink sundress that hugged her figure until it flared out at her small waist; pink wedges of the same color adorned her small feet. Her skin was flawlessly lightly tanned with small freckles on her shoulders, long golden hair feel down to the small of her waist. Her bangs were swept to the side framing her heart shaped face. Her lips were naturally pouting, her nose was decorated lightly in freckles as well. She looked like they cut her out of a magazine.

“Me–I mean I am.” He said trying not to feel too excited about escorting his girl to his sisters wedding.

She smiled lightly and held out her hand.

Both males looked at her oddly for a moment before the light went on.

“Oh! Right..” Jack ran back into the house and grabbed the envelope off the couch and ran back to the door. He placed the envelope in her hand. She opened it in front of them and began to count the cash inside. Jack felt his impatience wearing on him as he checked the time. They had to head out now or they would miss the practice ceremony.

The woman nodded and closed the envelope before placing it inside her cute hand bag. The girl looked to Jack and met his eyes,

“My name is Rapunzel Corona. As you know I will be playing the part of your girlfriend. Hand holding, hugging and kissing are included in this but I do not have sex with my clients.” She waited for Jack to nod in understanding before she continued, “Merida gave me the questionnaire you filled out and I have given you my own made up information. The way to make this work is that there are no surprises. So any questions?”

Jack looked at Hiccup who looked as shocked as him. They wondered how Merida knew of this girl in the first place but other than that…

“Nope, think we’re good.” Jack said and smiled at her.

“Great!” She said smiling, putting a hand on her purple suitcase, “when do we start?”


His fathers house was decorated beautifully, pink and white flowers decorated the inside of the two story home; white Christmas lights outside in the massive backyard with pink flower petals in the pool. It was a gorgeous set up, much like his own love life. The three of them walked into the home, greeted by his father instantly. The man was big and burly, his white beard matched the white shirt and black sweater vest.

“You finally brought girl home!” He laughed, his Russian accent was thick as usual and Jack was never prepared for the beat hug that always caught him off guard. He was easily picked up by the older man, looking more like a fourteen year old poor than a twenty eight year old man.

“Thanks. Dad. Hurts.” Jack wheezed while his 'date’ laughed behind her hand demurely.

He was placed on his feet as his father found another venue for his attention.

“Ah! Very pretty. I am North Overland but you can call me Papa.” The elder man beamed, clearly inhaling the happy fumes of the wedding at hand. Jack hit his hand to his forehead while Hiccup blinked and his brow furrowed in shock.

“It’s nice to to meet you, Papa,” the blonde giggled, “Jack has told me a lot about you–”

“And he hasn’t mentioned you.” Another voice popped from the right of the man, a young girl with long brown hair and a very beautiful white sundress. He was obviously the sister and bride just by the way she held onto the elbow of her fathers arm.

Jack felt his stomach drop as he looked between his family and the girl he was supposed to be dating. His sister knew that he always at least talked to her about his love life even if only in passing and since Rapunzel just showed up…god this was bad. He was going to be found out. He’ll look like an idiot! He looked to Hiccup who was carefully backing out of the conversation. Some fucking friend.

“Look I can ex–”

“He wasn’t sure if he should bring me since Elsa is your bridesmaid.” Rapunzel said, biting her lip and looking rather guilty, “He knew you liked her and didn’t want to ruin anything with your big day.”

Oh, she was good.

Emma blinked her big brown eyes and looked at her brother. The man ran his hands through his hair, his weird dye job making him look more pale than he usually did, the black suit didn’t help. She knew that she was missing something but Jack always tended to do things a bit different. Emma smiled and offered her hand,

“I’m glad he did, that way someone can keep him out of trouble.” She said, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too. Congratulations.” Rapunzel said, shaking her hand. With a small 'oh’ the blonde reached into her hand pink bag, pulling out a small silver box with a white bow and bells on it. “This is for you.”

Emma gasped and took the box in her hands, “Oh you didn’t have to!”

Jack stared at the woman. Was she fucking Mary Poppins? Mrs. Smith?

“Jack and I chose it. I couldn’t let him show up without a great gift.” Rapunzel giggled. The bride laughed and gave the woman a hug before bouncing over to her soon to be husband. The father of the bride laughed and clapped his son on the back,

“I like her.” The man said with a laugh and moved past them with a boisterous hello to a new face.

Jack looked over at his smiling date and narrowed his eyes. Rapunzel stood there looking at all the decorations and people. He didn’t take his eyes off her.

“What?” She asked, looking up at him with those big deceiving green eyes.

“Who are you?” He asked. She giggled, the butterflies he didn’t know were there went wild as she took his arm.

“Your successful, pretty, caring girlfriend, Rapunzel.” She said mischievously.
Jack shook his head. He wasn’t sure if he was the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet or the saddest. Either way he would have to ask Merida how she came across this woman because so far it was obvious this was not her first fake date. The patrons of the wedding and family passed by all waving and smiling at them, saying hello while Rapunzel shook hands and introduced herself.

He was shocked by how easily she handled the new people, how easy it was for her to smile and learn names, lie about how she has heard all about his cousins and friends. Then again he did fill out a questionnaire with all that information. Didn’t make it less odd. Especially the part where he started playing along as if he were Mr. Smith.

The backyard was decorated much like the inside of the house, the large porch had a dozen tables with six chairs at each. Once side of the porch had a long white table with an assortment of food while the other side was set up with speakers and a DJ booth. Everything was decorated with golds and light pinks given the atmosphere a glow. The 'couple’ sat at their designated table, Jacks name written in pretty cursive at two seats on top of cloth napkins.

“So,” he began as he pulling out the chair for her, “is this what you do?”


Jack took his seat next to her before looking around. He leaned forward toward her, an arm around the back of her chair, “Playing escort, is it what you do?”

“I’m not an escort.” Rapunzel whispered, green eyes glared at him.

“Sorry! Sorry, um, stand in date?”

Rapunzel sighed, her shoulders dropped a bit and for the first time since he’s seen her that professional air of confidence had left her. She looked up at him from under her long lashes, facing her body towards him. She waited as one a hired caterer placed wine glasses on the table before speaking.

“No, this is just…just am easy way to pay bills. You’d be surprised how many men need a fake girlfriend. Gay men trying to keep in the closet, young men to get parents off their back, old men to look young again. It pays well.” She explained, picking up her wine glass with a gentle hand.

“Yes I know, I’m out a grand now.” He said with a purse of his lips, “So what do you really do?”

“I paint.” She answered, a light blush on her cheeks as if she were embarrassed to admit it.

“And here I thought you were a secret agent.” Jack joked, taking her wine glass and bringing it to his nose.

“Just like you’re a wine expert?” She teased. Jack shrugged and took a sip, blue eyes sparkled with mirth. They looked at each other for a moment before she tilted her head and smiled, “Go ahead.”

“How many?”

“Twelve so far.”

“You haven’t slept with any of them?”

“Nope, strictly business.”

“You’ve never been tempted?” He asked handing her back the wine glass. Her fingers brushed against his when she took it. He felt those butterflies again. She was very pretty.

“I don’t think that’s any of your business, Mr. Overland.” She smirked taking a sip from the glass as well.

Jack gasped and put his free hand on his heart, “That hurts, and here I thought this was love.”

Rapunzel laughed, her hand going to her mouth so that no wine escaped. Seeing her look less than perfect made him laugh as well. It was easy to talk to her despite the reason why she was at his side, but they leaned toward each other looking much like the 'couple’ they were playing.


Both of them paused and looked to the other side of the table, a beautiful woman in blue looked back at them. The man felt his stomach drop at the sight of his ex girlfriend. She was beautiful as usual. Her platinum blonde hair shone in the sunlight, her blue sundress hugged her slim figure, pale skin matched his own. Her blue eyes were narrowed a bit looking from himself to his date. The white haired male plastered on a smile,

“Oh, hey Elsa.” He said, keeping his arm hanging lazily on the top of Rapunzels chair. The woman looked from the unfamiliar face back to her ex.

“I didn’t know you were dating again.” She said with a smile of her own, though it looked rather forced. The comment made some thing inside his gut wretch. It was almost as if she believed that he should be begging her to come back to him six months later. The only reason he even felt he needed a date to this was because he knew that her new boyfriend would be with her and he was not losing his break up.

“Yeah, this is Rapunzel,” he said as his 'girlfriend’ placed a hand on his knee, “Rapunzel this is Elsa.”

Rapunzel smiled and tilted her head, making her long blonde hair fall over her shoulder. Her green eyes met the woman’s, her entire posture was filled with confidence as she held out her hand from her seat. Elsa blinked at the gesture. Jack watched as his ex had to be the one to reached down and shake Rapunzels hand instead of Rapunzel rising and doing work to shake hers. It was a powerful play that did not go unnoticed to Elsa.

“Nice to meet you, Elsa. I haven’t heard much about you but I love your dress.” Rapunzel said with a friendly smile. Jack had to stop from snickering.

Elsa smiled, “Thank you. I didn’t know Jack was dating someone, Emma didn’t say–”

“Here you go, sweetie.”

A wine glass appeared before Elsa and all eyes were on the red headed man who offered it. Jack glared at the idiot. He was taller, broader shoulders and an expensive suit. His hair was impeccably styled, matching his side burns. His green eyes went from the glass to Jack and the tension was palpable. The red headed man gave him a nod,



Elsa placed a hand on Hans chest and smiled, “Hans, this is Jacks girlfriend Rapunzel.”

Rapunzel gave the man a nod and smile, placing her hand on Jacks. She could feel his distress and how tense he got at seeing the two of them. He never explained why him and his girlfriend broke up but she was sure it had to do with this man. There was an awkward silence before Rapunzel smiled and gave a wave, not shaking his hand.

“Nice to me you.” She said before picking up her glass and offering it to Jack. It took everything inside him not to take the glass and down the contents. Instead he brought the glass to his lips and took a large gulp.

“Why don’t we get some food, Els?” Hans offered, watching his girlfriend stare at the couple before them with a bit of confusion and ire. The woman smiled and nodded,

“We’ll talk later?” Elsa asked, blue eyes met blue.

Jack shrugged and turned back to Rapunzel, “Sure, you know where I’ll be.” He said as he handed his date back her wine glass, purposely sliding his hand over hers.

He didn’t watch Elsa and Hans walk away, but he heard them. Rapunzel looked up at him, her hand still on his knee. She drew small comforting circles, while he searched for something in her green eyes.

“Want to talk about it?” She asked, letting him curl his fingers into her blonde waves, the soft sun shine through the trees felt good on their skin with the cool breeze.

“Not much to talk about. He’s a wealthy lawyer and I’m a middle school teacher. She had been seeing him before she broke up with me but I was too love sick to see it. End of story.” Jack gave her a sad smile, six months later still feeling the betrayal of it all,

Rapunzel stood and offered her hand to him. He raised and eyebrow and took the warm gesture. The blonde beauty smiled brilliantly and pulled him toward the dance floor, no one was dancing yet but the music played while people served themselves food. Neither of them we’re hungry. Jack rolled his eyes and allowed her to pull him into her arms, her hand went to his shoulder while his went to her petite waist.

“Emma doesn’t know does she?” Rapunzel asked, looking at the young. Ride speak with Elsa and Hans animatedly by the buffet table. Jack swayed back and forth with her, shaking his head.

“We had dated for five years. Emma looked up to her and I didn’t want to ruin that.”

Rapunzel smiled at him, “You’re way too good for her anyway.”

Jack mocked a shocked expression before dipping his head down and whispering,

“Did I pay for a compliment package too?”

Rapunzel hit his shoulder and laughed, “No, I just like your reason for hiring me than other men.”

Jack smiled at her before twirling her around then taking her back in his arms. He didn’t realize that he wasn’t thinking of Elsa anymore. He thought of the way Rapunzel glowed in her pink sundress, how her skin was soft and her smile lit up her green eyes. She was pretty and everyone who watched them knew it. It was Emma who commented on how happy he looked. A comment that Elsa couldn’t help but note as she watched her ex laugh and dance like an idiot with the new girl. A girl no one knew before this. As the song ended, the lone couple on the dance floor walked back to their table.

Rapunzel left Jack to relax as she headed to the restroom, smiling at the people she met as she went. Elsa excused herself from Emma and Hans, ignoring the looks she got from them as she headed to Jacks table.

“Found you.” She said with a smile, sitting in Rapunzels empty chair. Jack looked at her then back at where Hans stood by himself.

“So you did.” He countered, rather confused. He watched as Elsa took his hand and held it in hers, looking up at him through her long eyelashes.

“I know we haven’t talked since, well, everything happened. Rapunzel seems nice.”

“She is.” He said, watching her with suspicious eyes.

“I just hope that this isn’t all because of me.”

Jacks brow furrowed, “this?”

Elsa shrugged with a small smile, her hands rubbing small circled on his just like Rapunzel was doing not a moment ago.

“You know, being here with her.” Elsa said nonchalantly, “Bringing her, someone no one knows, to meet your family. Dancing with her when you don’t like to dance–”

Jack pulled back his hand, “Elsa I like to dance. Rapunzel is my girlfriend and that has nothing to do with you.”

“I know our break up hurt you but you–”

“Elsa stop.” Now this was just pissing him off.

“–just wasn’t what I was looking for anymore. We had something special–”

“Elsa, I mean it.”

“–and I miss you. I loved you and–”

“Look what I found Jack.”

The bubbly voice interrupted the tension that was building between the two, both pairs of blue eyes looked at the blonde guest walk towards them. Rapunzel had a small plate in her hands, filled with fruit. She tilted her head and smiled, looking at only Jack. She walked up and bent at the waist, her lips found his.

Jack closed his eyes and smiled against her soft plump lips, kissing her as well. She smelled of flowers and tasted of vanilla. He loved vanilla. Her lips moved against his, neither cared of their blushing audience. Jacks hand found the back of her neck, licking her bottom lip. With a small gasp and giggle, Rapunzel pulled away. She looked to Elsa expectedly.

“Umm I was just..” Elsa began.

“Leaving.” Jack said with an expectant smile.

Elsa blushed darker out of embarrassment before standing and moving out of Rapunzels way. The blonde nodded a thank you before sitting down in her spot. The platinum blonde moved away from the two of them as Rapunzel picked up a strawberry.

“I better go find Hans.” She said, watching as the new girl lifted the berry to Jacks lips.

“Yeah, you do that, Els.” He mumbled, though he smiled at his date.

Neither looked as she walked away, Jack took a bite of the strawberry. Rapunzel smirked,

“Good timing, I guess?” She said seeing the twinkle in his blue eyes. Jack chuckled,

“How did you know?”

“Saw the look on your face.” She replied taking a bite of the rest of the berry. A pale hand took hers and pulled the stem from her juice stained fingers. The man brought her fingers to his lips and sucked one into his mouth. She gasped. He smirked around her finger, gliding his tongue over her skin before popping it from his lips.

“Tempted yet?” He teased. Rapunzel giggled as he licked the tip of her ring finger, her tongue red from the berry.

“You’re going to have to do better than that.” She smirked back.

“I have three days to try.” Jack met her eyes and both smiled.

His fake girlfriend turned out to be worth every penny.