cute cripple

So I recently got my ultralight wheelchair and smart drive. And in the smart drive like, product video it shows this guy zipping through the grocery store with wheelchair and smart drive and so today I was like “I gotta try that!!!”.

So I was grocery shopping and testing this out, and it was working super well!! So I’m just zooming around the store doing my shopping with my wheelchair and grocery cart and wearing my little mermaid fishscale tights. Because they’re awesome and my favorite and when I sit in the enterprise which is the name of my wheelchair, the little seashells on my knee show up. And I’m going to point out at this point in the story that I have been approached by full grown adults asking me if they were tattoos, so yeah these tights make it look like I’ve got some scales going on.

And then there was this kid in a bright pink Minnie Mouse dress who was staring at me. And I mean SERIOUSLY STARING to the point where the kid was lagging way behind the accompanying adults. And so like, I look little Minnie Mouse straight in the eye, whisper “mermaids really can’t walk that well you know” and wink at the kid. This kid’s eyes get like SUPER HUGE and then suddenly the kid goes tearing around the corner presumably to find those accompanying adults and I’m still cracking up nearly an hour later. It totally made my day omg.

Bad boy punk rock Pearl here to tell you that a mobility aid won’t destroy your cosplay! I had a great time, looked wonderful.

✨🌸he/him🌸✨

[Image description: A tan-skinned boy is leaning against a black car. He is not directly focused on the camera. He is cosplaying as Pearl from Steven Universe, specifically from the episode “Last One Out of Beach City.” He is wearing a leather jacket, a teal tank top with a yellow star on the chest, high-waisted jeans rolled up to the knee, pink socks, and teal ballet flats. His hair is short and dyed a pale pink and there is a large pearlescent oval attached to his forehead. Resting against the car next to him is a brown cane. Three pixel art hearts in the trans pride colors are overlaid on top of the image.]

Sunny bus selfie. Yesterday as I boarded there were already two strollers in the priority zone (there are two on Vancouver buses accommodating one wheelchair user and one stroller at a time - better than most cities).

The bus driver obviously had to ask them to move because wheelchair users have priority (strollers are supposed to be folded up at this point). Of course the ladies didn’t want to remove their toddlers and fold up their strollers so they made it awkward for everyone but the worst part of it was for me - everyone involved referred to ME as ‘the wheelchair’. I am a damn person.

They all also spoke as if I wasn’t even there (which not surprising given that I’m referred to as an object). And here’s the thing - I know it could have been far far worse - in Britain for example there’s a stand off between wheelchair users and parents with pushchairs (strollers) even though the Supreme Court has actually ruled in wheelchair user’s favor (of course! We don’t have a choice in the space we take up and our need for that space is fundamental to our existence in the community).

So, I know it could have been far worse but it just really sucks being spoken about in this way and never TO. The lady decided she could share my space and didn’t even ask me if I was okay with this. Neither of the mothers looked at me once. You know how that makes me feel? Not just that they like to think I don’t exist but that they’d rather I didn’t exist. That I’m an annoying inconvenience in THEIR day, not the other way around.

I had different problems with using the bus before I used a wheelchair and to be honest they were worse but I just implore everyone to think about how you talk about wheelchair users and just address us! Talk to us like any other human being. We are people and we deserve your decency and humanity.

Goodbye, everyone! I’ll remember you all in therapy! ✨

growing up, it had been ingrained in me from the day I was born that one of my main purposes in life, as a little girl, was to be saved by a boy.

and so I let boys try to save me for a little while; when I first became sick, when I was trying not to face my sexuality, and ended up not being saved but being drowned even further.

and you see, that’s the thing, this trope, this lesson we ingrain in our girls is harmful and has lasting effects. I felt worthless and not valuable and broken. because that’s what I had been told to feel unless a boy loved me back to live, I didn’t realize that I needed to love me back to life and I needed to fall in love with life again, and that no one could do that for me. I was told to feel that way and let a boy come and put me back together and find my worth in him. I was told that I was sick and disabled so I needed a boy to have a worthwhile life. that the poor disabled girl couldn’t live a wonderful, magnificent, beautiful life all on her own.

the thing is, this is false. completely and utterly false. eventually, I was able to unlearn these things, for the most part. I stopped waiting for a boy to teach me to live and began myself. the days spent in hospitals and stuck in bed unable to move because I’m in so much pain taught me more about life than any boy ever could, my best friends have taught me more about living life than any boy ever could. I’ve gotten really good at picking myself up and putting myself back together and being totally okay with that. and soon enough, I got busy living and I quickly found that I am, in fact, pretty damn good at it, all on my own. and at the end of the day, this bitch saves herself.

movies like #EverythingEverything only perpetuate these feelings of inadequacy without a boy. and I am appalled that they would push this message even further onto fellow sick girls. we deserve better.