customizing burgers

Everyone talks about how shitty and stupid customers are, why don’t we ever talk about the cool ones? 

-Bilingual children translating for their parents/grandparents like a boss

-The drunk guy you had to deny a sale to and he took it so well and maybe even thanked you for keeping him safe

-The random peeps in a long check out line who stop to tell you you’re doing an amazing job

-The regulars who have your back when someone starts giving you a hard time

-Customers who let you know to keep an eye on someone for shoplifting

-Bros who insist on cleaning up their own mess/spill

-The really upbeat/cheery mom/aunt type customer that just kind of brightens your day a bit

Feel free to add, you guys. You know who they are, let’s give them some love.

Justin wasn’t purposely rebellious. He was a rascal in an unassuming, almost charming way. He sometimes got into trouble for things he didn’t even realize were wrong. Like the time he was suspended from catholic school.
Justin loved movies and would often repeat lines from them. When he was around seven years old, he watched a movie called ’‘Good burger’’ which was based on one of the sketches on a nickelodeon network show. In one of the films scenes, a customer at a burger joint is complaining to Ed, a simpleton who works at the restaurant, about the hamburger he ordered. After his rant, the irate customer storms out of the place and yells over his shoulder to Ed, “See you in hell!” Ed responds good-naturedly, “Okay, see you there!” The scene was cute and funny, meant to make you laugh.
One afternoon when Justin rode the bus home from school, the catholic bus driver wished him a good day as she let him off. Justin smiled, waved, and told her, “See you in hell, Bev!” He was suspended the next day. Justin wasn’t trying to be mean, just funny. Unfortunately, the bus driver didn’t appreciate my sons humor.
—  Pattie Mallette, Nowhere But Up.
Amy’s Baking Company Sentence Starters

Quotes taken from this video and this set of social posts. Feel free to change pronouns as necessary! Note: Foul Language Warning!

“He was a playboy.”
“Our babies are cats.”
“Meow meow meow meow!”
“This is what God wants me to do.”
“That is one shit burger.”
“The customer is not always right.”
“She’s nuts!”
“I’m going to really hurt somebody if someone sends it back!”
“I told them to leave and not come back.”
“Don’t worry, I told them to fuck off!”
“I will go tell them to fuck off if my husband doesn’t!”
“FUCK YOU SIR!”
“They retaliate against them.”
“I hope it hurts him.”
“I don’t make tips.”
“That’s horrible.”
“Don’t fuck with me.”
“Who the fuck you think you are?”
“I will fuck with you!”
“The majority of the people in this state think we’re going to throw you out.”
“Don’t come back!”
“You go! Fuck you!”
“You’re a little pansy! Give me a break.”
“We will stand strong through the oppression that has been thrown at us.”
“This is a rough and unjust time in our lives.”
“We will not bend to the will of these haters and sinners.”
“I AM NOT STUPID ALL OF YOU ARE.”
“YOU JUST DO NOT KNOW GOOD FOOD.”
“WE DO NOT NEED THIS YOU STUPID PEOPLE.”
“AMERICA IS ABOUT RESELLING, IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL.”
“DO NOT BLAME US BECAUSE YOU CANNOT AFFORD QUALITY.”
“I FORBID YOU FROM SPREADING YOUR HATE ON REDDIT.”
“I AM NOT ALLOWING YOU TO USE MY COMPANY ON YOUR HATE-FILLED PAGE.”
“Bring it on. You are just pussies. Come to Arizona.”
“You are weaker than my wife.”
“My wife is a jewel in the desert.”
“You are just trash.”
“I’m keeping note of all the names here.”
“We will be pursuing action against you legally.”
“You are all just punks.”
“WE ARE NOT FREAKING OUT.”
“I AM NOT A WITCH. I AM GOD’S CHILD.”
“PISS OFF, ALL OF YOU.”
“FUCK ALL OF YOU.”
“BRING IT, WE WILL FIGHT BACK.”
“YOU DON’T KNOW US! WE WILL THRIVE!”
“WE WILL TEACH OUR CHILD WHAT GOD WANTS IN THEIR PATH.”
“I AM WONDER WOMAN.”
“You people are all shit.”
“We are laughing at you. All of you, just fools.”
“God is on our side.”

10

So I spent in excess of 30 hours designing this Bob’s Burgers Lego set only to have it rejected by Lego Ideas.

They responded with a message stating that they won’t approve projects related to a lot of different things, the only two possibly related to my project:

Sex, drugs or smoking (Bob’s Burgers does not address these things any more than the Simpsons or The Big Bang Theory - both approved sets by Lego)
Alcohol in any present day situation (Duff Beer! Penny from TBBT is an alcoholic)

Anyway, I’m proud of my product and I hope the internet enjoy it also.

You've probably been using aluminum foil wrong your whole life

The most frustrating thing about using aluminum foil is the cardboard roll frequently pops out. You may be surprised to find that the solution is in plain sight. 

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© J. Steven Kingston 

Travel Tuesday: Overlooking the scenic Kennebunk River, at the peak of the summer season, the cooks at the Clam Shack in Kennebunkport, Maine shell roughly 1,000 pounds of local lobster a day. For their assembled-to-order rolls, they pile a little of each part (claw, knuckle, tail) onto an oversize, locally baked burger bun. Customers choose between a swipe of mayo, a drizzle of warm butter or a little of both.

Here, more of America’s best lobster rolls.

170204 Serri Instagram Update

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