UGGG

So buying a pregnancy test at Target:

CSR: “You must be excited to take that!  Is this your first?”

Me: 

Originally posted by n-wordbelike

CSR:  “You’ll love having a baby they are just so cute!”

Me: 

Originally posted by bustedphotographer

Customer Service Folks, please don’t make comments health care related items, especially reproductive healthcare related items.  You don’t know the situations behind things, and they aren’t always what you think they are. 

“Hey that’s a cute shirt!” - Totally acceptable and friendly

“You are going to love being a mom” - weird

AND GUESS HOW SHE ENDED OUR INTERACTION…

CSR: “Well you got to come back and let me know how it turns out!  I know what I’m betting on…*wink* 

Me: 

Originally posted by attack-clifford

tbh I’d love a horror-comedy about a retail worker accidentally becoming a ghost/demon hunter because they’re just so unfazed by difficult and weird and bellicose customers that evil entities aren’t much more of a challenge.

“sir or ma'am or neuter, I’m going to have to ask you to stop crawling on the ceiling, you’re disturbing the other residents”

“please leave this place before I call the exorcist to remove you from the premises”

“company policy forbids me from accepting power from customers in exchange for my soul or firstborn child”

“sir, if you keep speaking to me like that, I’m going to have to end this spirit board conversation. have a good day, goodbye”

I've gotten really good at extracting petty, passive aggressive revenge on rude customers

Customer doesn’t empty their basket at checkout: I will take items out and scan/bag them one at a time, very, very slowly

Customer throws coins on the belt instead of handing it to me: I take my sweet ass time counting it, maybe drop a few coins and have to “look” for them

Customer hands me wrinkly ass bills: I very carefully uncrumple them and make them perfectly flat before putting them away

Customers don’t use grocery divider: I will scan as much of the next order as I can before they notice, making them wait a long time while I take off everything

Customer is being rude and difficult about something I can help them with by myself: make them wait while i call the manager and ask for “permissio/” directions"

Customer doesn’t acknowledge my “Hi, how are you” and demands something right away: I keep saying “hi, how are you” until they treat me like a human

Customer is on phone and ignores me: I refuse to talk to them until they hang up, and don’t bag any of their groceries because I “didn’t know if you wanted bags, and didn’t want to interrupt your conversation”

there’s probably more but that is what I can remember lol

Tl;Dr - don’t fuck with the people giving you a service

An incomplete list of my favorite customer interactions
  • A phone call: 
    • Me: Thank you for calling This Bookstore, how can I help?
    • Customer: I’d like to talk to Tom please.
    • Me:…there’s no one named Tom who works here.
    • Customer: this is This Bookstore, right?
    • Me: yes. 
    • Customer: Then I’d like to speak to Tom
    • Me: Sir I’ve worked here for a year and a half, and there hasn’t been anyone named Tom. 
    • Customer: well can I leave a message for him? 
  • A different phone call: 
    • Me: Thank you for calling This Bookstore, how can I help?
    • Customer: I’d like you to order something in for me. 
    • Me: Sure! Do you have the ISBN or the author’s name or the title? 
    • Customer: it’s a vinyl record. 
    • Me: we’re a bookstore?
    • Customer: Yes. I’d like you to order it for me off Amazon. 
    • Me: You want us, an independent bookstore, to order you vinyl records off Amazon
    • Customer: yes. 
    • Me: Sir, that’s not a service we provide. 
    • Customer: Well I don’t believe in credit cards or the internet so I need you to do it for me. 
  • Yet another phone call: 
    • Customer: Yes I’d like to order this book in. 
    • Me: Our distributors don’t carry that book, sir. I can see about getting a used copy in. 
    • Customer: Sure!
    • Me: Okay, it looks like the used copy is going to be $122 plus our handling fee. 
    • Customer: Google says it’s $42.
    • Me: Then your best option is probably to order it online. 
    • Customer: Okay. Do you have the phone number so I can call google? 
  • Feel free to add your own