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a song i wrote for my dog while i sat with him as he ate in our garage

he munches
he crunches
i love him
a bunches
jack is my boy
and i got a hunches
that he is the best
he beats all the rest
he puts the good kibble
to the taste test
and if he dont like it
he’ll barf it up later
and i’ll clean it up
cuz my pop is a hater
oh jack i do love you
you bring me great joy
you munches, you crunches
and youre my best boy

Relationships Advice from Sailor Moon Characters
  • Sailor Moon: idk well if things are meant to be they'll be!! maybe read your horoscope? i'm sure things will work out. (score: 2/10, bad advice for most scenarios but she is a romantic at heart)
  • Sailor Mercury: Well, you should make a list of pros and cons about your relationship. If the cons outweigh the pros in number and significance, it's worth putting some effort into getting couples therapy at least. (score: 8.5/10, solid advice but not always applicable)
  • Sailor Mars: dump him (score: ♂/10)
  • Sailor Jupiter: Ohh, that's sad to hear... It's always a good idea to talk to your partner if you're unhappy. If they care about you then they'll listen. You need to look after yourself first! Don't settle for someone who makes you miserable just to be in a relationship. Trust me... (score: 9/10, solid motherly advice but sometimes easier said than done)
  • Sailor Venus: Problems? You can do better!!!! Get out and find someone who will appreciate YOU for YOU!! go OUT there! CHASE those honeys!! Have so much fun you forget about your ex in the first place!! WHO???? you don't know. you're too busy partying and loving yourself. Peace out. (score: 0/10)

my goal is to get a job as “Foreigner #1″ in any anime studio. I don’t really watch anime, but I do know that every so often, an american will pop in and be like “whoa look at me im speakin english whooooa” and everyone is like “なにーーーーー?!?!??!” but every single time it’s some japanese guy who was told what to say but he didnt understand what he was saying and it sounds terrible

i can be that guy. i can be the foreigner you need.

  • Bran: so you see, you are a Targaryen. Ned Stark was not your father…
  • Sam: there’s more, your father for reasons that make absolutely no sense at all annulled his first marriage and married your mother before you were born. You aren’t a bastard. In fact you are the rightful heir to the Iron Throne.
  • Jon: *eye twitches*
  • Sam: Jon, are you alright?
  • Bran: I’ve seen this already. He’s having a stroke because he’s realizing he banged his closet living relative, his aunt Danerys.
  • Sam: ew.
  • Jon: *stops breathing and starts turning shades of red*
  • Bran: and now he’s realizing he could have been banging my sister Sansa this whole time.

how come on tumblr no one discloses when they’re reblogging sponsored content? like those “fashion posts” that just show a bunch of Tumblr™-y clothes & links to buy them. and they’re being paid to reblog them and they don’t have to disclose it