custom-story

My dad works at Home Depot and this one customer came in trying to return a lawnmower that wouldn’t start. Another employee asked the customer if he had put any gas in it and the customer was outraged, yelling that they should have told him it needed gas (it was in the manual) and the employee told him “Well it doesn’t run on hopes and dreams, sir.” That pissed the guy off more so he called the manager all “Can you believe this guy!? He told me it doesn’t run on hopes and dreams!” and the manager just said “Well, it doesn’t.”

You know how people working in retail always have ‘weird customer stories?’

Sam and Dean Winchester are those weird customers.

There are probably whole online forums dedicated to this, now that I think about it. Started as a joke on reddit and then people from all over the country start to chime in.

Two huge guys came in today and bought 20 cartons of Morton’s salt and a box of Hello Kitty bandaids. Nothing else.

Had a similar experience! Two guys come in: one guy buys a ton of salt and like 50 pocket-sized lighters, the other puts a divider between them and buys a single slice of cherry pie from the bakery. They leave together.

Lol same here. Salt and bandaids. Did one of em have long hair? XD

I work at the butcher’s downtown. We had two super buff scary dudes come in asking for any buckets of lamb’s blood we might have “lying around.” Past closing time. I gave it to them but it was freaky as hell.

Omg what’s with the salt conspiracy? But yeah same I work at a Christmas tree farm and sometimes we catch these two guys cutting down trees at night. It’s always the same two guys and they only cut the stumps off. Why.
EDIT: one of them did have long hair actually!!

This is unrelated but I once had a guy in a trench coat physically assault me because we were out of pie. This was AFTER he cracked an egg onto the floor and knocked over everything in sight.

List Of Alternate Universes

Alternate Universe (also known as alternate reality), is commonly abbreviated as AU and it is a descriptor used to characterize fanworks which change one or more elements of the source work’s canon. The term most often refers to fanfiction, but fanart can also depicted the characters in AUs.

Unlike regular fanfiction, which generally remains within the boundaries of the canon set out by the author, alternate universe fiction writers like to explore the possibilities of pivotal changes made to characters’ history, motivations, or environment.

  • Alien Invasion AU – In which the story deals with an alien invasion when canonically it does not ever happened.
  • All Human AU – In which characters who are canonically non-human are now humans, with corresponding changes to their backstories.
  • Alpha/Beta/Omega AU – Often referred to as A/B/O or even Omegaverse. It is a growing trope of AUs originated in kinkmemes in which characters can be Alphas (dominant males or females), Betas (ordinary working class), or Omegas (submissive males or females).
  • Android AU – In which the main character or most of the cast are turn into androids that serve different purposes, such as bodyguard, solider, caregiver and so on. In other cases it becomes something similar to Absolute Boyfriend (Zettai Kareshi) where they are mail order androids that can be order online or from a cataloged. If not, they may have originally been human but turn into an android for whatever reason.
  • Angel/Demon AU – When angels and demons exist (in the case of canons that don’t have them) or a character is recast as one of them. However, these kind of AUs don’t necessarily have to have both beings in the story as some tend to focus on only one of them.
  • Arranged Marriage AU – Similar to the Marriage Law AU, only the difference is that not all the characters are required to be married. It is mostly focused on only one pairing and it is usually a pairing that wouldn’t normally get together such as crack ships or doomed ships. In some stories it is a plausible idea, but in others it is not.
  • Bakery AU – When most of the cast of a story works at a bakery while the rest are customers.
  • BDSM AU – Is when the entire cast is either a dominant or a submissive and BDSM relationships are considered the norm. Be advised that while a healthy BDSM relationship is consensual and not dangerous, if handled incorrectly it can result in abusive behavior which is offensive and considered bad BDSM etiquette.
  • Bookstore AU – When most of the casts works at a bookstore. If not, usually a few of the characters work there, while the rest of them are customers. Another version is the Library AU, in which one or two of the characters are librarians, while the rest of the cast spend their time looking for particular books.
  • Business AU – In which the story is set in a building and the characters are employees. Sometimes it is focus on one character who works as a secretary and another character as their boss. 
  • Circus AU – In which the story is set in a circus and the characters are circus performers or customers.
  • Coffee Shop AU – Also known as Barista AU. In most cases, one half of the main pairing is the barista and the other is or becomes their favorite customer; in some stories the whole cast works at a coffee shop.
  • Crime AU – In which the characters of a story are various type of criminals, such as burglars, bank robbers, gangsters, drug dealers, smugglers, hitman/fixer and so on. This AU focuses on their criminal lives. It is similar to the Mafia AU.
  • Darkside AU – Is when the canon villain of the story succeeds in their mission and the AU story focuses on the outcome of it.
  • Desert island AU – Or an uninhabited island AU, in which a character or most of the characters of a story are trapped on a deserted island, usually from being shipwrecked or their plane crashing.
  • Dystopian AU – Is set in a dystopian society that is not the original setting of the canon.
  • Fairy Tail AU – In which canon characters are put into situations and/or settings from fairy tales, such as Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty,  Little Red Riding Hood, etc.
  • Fantasy AU – In which the story takes place in a fantasy universe where magic or magical abilities is normal, technology is nonexistent and supernatural creatures exist.
  • Flower Shop AU – Similar to the Coffee Shop AU and the Bakery AU, but instead the entire cast works in a flower shop. Or one of the characters works there and the rest are customers.
  • Genderswap AU – In which one or more characters in the story switch binary sexes, such as depicting a male character as a cis woman.
  • Harem AU – Or Reverse Harem AU is when a story that doesn’t contain any polygamous or love triangle relationships turns into one. Usually the main character has something happen to them that attracts the other characters to them, be it from a love potion, experimental perfume, spell gone wrong, and so on.
  • Haunted House AU – Or Haunted Castle AU, in which a character moves into a new home or castle and doesn’t know that it is haunted (usually by a ghost, sometimes a demon or some other type of creature) or they are dared by their friends to spend the night in it. 
  • High School/College AU – In which the characters are shown in high school or in college together. They are often done with characters who canonically meet later in life, altering or entirely overwriting their original backstories. Similar to this AU is the Boarding School AU and the Elementary School AU.
  • Hogwarts AU – In which the characters from other stories are placed into the setting of Harry Potter. These can be coexistent with Harry Potter canon, or ignore it entirely. But they are often portrayed as students of Hogwarts instead of teachers that work there.
  • Hospital AU – In which the characters of a story are doctors, nurses and patients in a hospital (sometimes it is set in an asylum). 
  • Hooker AU – Where one or more of the characters is a sex worker. The more common is the Pretty Woman-type fantasy of a hooker with a heart of gold, rescued from life on the streets by a client. Sex work of all kinds is portrayed: brothels, escorts, street prostitution, “call-girls” as well as strippers and go-go boys. Most of the time one character of the pairing is the hooker and the other the client, though some stories have both characters as prostitutes (sometimes along with other canon characters, in either a brothel-type setting or living on the streets).
  • Hunger Games AU – In which characters from other stories are competitors in the Hunger Games.
  • Ice Cream Shop AU – When the casts works at an ice cream shop. Possibly one of the characters owns it, while the rest are employees or customers.
  • Law Enforcement/Military AU – In which the cast are policeman, federal agents, soldiers, marines or whatnot and the story focuses on their lives.
  • Mafia AU – In which the characters are in a mafia.
  • Magic AU – Incorporate magic in stories where there is no magic present in canon.
  • Marriage Law AU – It spawn from the Marriage Law Challenge in the Harry Potter fandom, in which the premise is to forced marriage between a Muggle-born to a Pure-blood (or Half-Blood) due to a new decree passed by the Ministry of Magic to help preserve the magical population. 
  • Master/Slave AU – In which the cast are place in an universe where slavery is an accepted economic and cultural institution. Some stories treat this as a significant moral problem to be resisted and overthrown if possible; others treat slavery as an unchangeable institution.
  • Merpeople AU – Or also known as Undersea AU, in which a story is set in the ocean and the characters are turned into mermaids and merman. Sometimes it’s focus on only one character that becomes a mermaid or merman and another character that is a human. When it’s the latter the AU usually turns into a Little Mermaid type of story.
  • Modern AU – In which characters from a historical (or pseudo-historical) canon universe are placed into a modern setting.
  • Monster AU – In which the characters are changed into non-human creatures, such as Incubus/Succubus or other kinds of monsters.
  • No Human AU – Also known as Animal AU, is the opposite of All Human AU, in which characters that are canonically human are now non-humans.
  • Noir Detective AU – In which the characters are put in a typical ‘40s or '50s film noir environment. Or sometimes as a homage towards the style, in which the characters are still their canon selves, but plot or aesthetics are given a noir slant.
  • Opposite AU – In which canon personalities and backstories are swapped out with an opposite versions of themselves. Such as a quiet shy character may become loud and outgoing.
  • Pacific Rim AU – In which the characters are put into the world of Pacific Rim (most often as Jaeger pilots). This AU gained popularity due to the concept of Drift Compatibility that made for excellent shipping interactions.
  • Pen Pal AU – Is when two characters (who have met in canon) have not met each other in this AU. Sometimes they live in the area and other times they don’t live on the same continent. Usually it is their school that sets them up as pen pals. If not, it is because one of the characters writes a letter to the wrong person/wrong address or they accidentally texts the wrong person.
  • Pirate AU – When the whole cast are pirates and it is focus on shipboard life, usually it is set in early nineteenth-century Europe. Sometimes it’s pirates in outer space.
  • Prison AU – In which characters meet for the first time in an prison environment where they have to depend on each other.
  • Private Detective AU – When one of the characters becomes a professional detective while the rest of the cast are their clients or the detective’s contacts in the police department (sometimes they work in other fields, in which the Detective character calls them in for favors to help solve difficult cases).
  • Reincarnation AU – In which stories with historical canon setting have the characters become reincarnated into a modern setting and in doing so they are quite similar to their canon selves.
  • Reverse AU – Is when the roles (and sometimes backstories) of the characters are swapped, such as the hero is the villain and the villain is the hero.
  • Rockstar AU – In which the main casts is a popular music band or one of them is a solo artists with many groupies which may consist the rest of the characters. 
  • Roommate AU – In which the characters in a fandom are all living together in an apartment or an house. Usually this kind of story is focused on two characters that become roommates.
  • Royalty AU – Where one or more characters (who canonically aren’t) are members of a royal family. This usually goes hand in hand with a historical period, featuring a Medieval AU or Regency AU, although some works are set in Modern times or even the Future.
  • Single Parent AU – In which a character has a child or becomes a parent in someway and raises them on their own. 
  • Soulmates AU – Is when two (or more) characters are fated to be together, sometimes through multiple lives and/or into the afterlife. Sometimes but not always, the pairing might have a characteristic or tell to help them find each other, such as identical or complementary birthmarks, tattoos, scars, or an invisible string that ties to their other half which becomes thicker and shorter the closer they get to them. Some stories only need a character to hear (or just see) their soulmate to know who they are.
  • Space AU – Where a fandom that is canonically set on Earth becomes set in outer space.
  • Spy AU – Also known as Secret Agent AU or Espionage AU. The whole cast is turned into spies, sometimes they work for the same organization, government or they operate independently. Other times the AU is focused on only one or two characters that are the spies.
  • Superpowers AU – In which the characters have superpowers and are either heroes and/or villains. 
  • Steampunk AU – In which a story is turned into a futuristic/sci-fi version of a 19th Century, usually Victorian or Edwardian containing clocks, gears, springs, steam power, analog computers, airships, etc. 
  • Vampire/Werewolf AU – In which vampires and werewolves exist (in the case of canons that don’t have them) or a character is recast as a vampire or werewolf. However, these kind of AUs don’t necessarily have to have both species as some tend to focus on only one kind.
  • Victorian AU – In which characters from a modern or future-set story are relocate to a stereotypical Victorian romanticism era.
  • Western AU – In which the characters are transplanted into the “Old West”; or sometimes, especially in science fiction stories a Space Western equivalent, which may involve a western-type plot without horses and cattle ranches.
  • Wonderland AU – In which the story and the characters are turned into their own version of “Alice in Wonderland”.
  • Zombie Apocalypse AU – Also know as Zombie AU. In which stories that don’t contain an zombie apocalypse have it happen to them.

Note: This isn’t a complete list of AUs, but I will keep updating it whenever I come across something new (or someone lets me know what I’m missing). Also, keep in mind that sometimes an AU story is combine with others elements. For example, instead of the very common story about the characters attending a high school in modern times, it can be a magical school set in an futuristic world. 

yellow-eyed-asshats  asked:

I have a question that may come out sounding kinda rude, but why can't writers write poc as people, put them through the same trials and tribulations as caucasian characters? This may come out sounding different that what I've asked in my head so if that's the case, I'm terribly sorry

Writing About PoC Trials and Tribulations

I understand where you’re coming from, because it looks unequal when you take it simply as “humans struggle, so why can’t we write about PoC struggling?”

What Topics To Avoid isn’t talking about struggle in general, which is where the confusion comes from.

Yes, you can write PoC struggling. This is not the question at hand.

What that post was pointing out is PoC struggle is rarely individual trials and tribulations like white characters.

When a white character struggles, they are struggling with something that is an individual struggle that is treated as a universal narrative for that person’s individual issues (like, everyone’s felt like an underdog at one point for various reasons). But if you look at the dominant stories for PoC, the struggle is directly because of their ethnicity, such as segregation, or a racial-based war, and/or colonialism, to name a few. The plot falls apart when the ethnicity/situation is changed.

We are asking you to look at why you are attracted to struggles that come directly as a result of being a certain ethnicity. 

Starcrossed lovers are fine, but why does every starcrossed lovers story involving a PoC have to be set at a time when interracial marriage was illegal, and/or in a setting where one side’s family hate the other for their skin tone?

An underdog with less experience is fine, but why does every underdog involving a PoC involve somebody who came from an impoverished background and low quality schools because it’s in a predominantly PoC neighbourhood?

The question we want white writers to ask is: “does my character struggle and experience pain primarily because of their ethnic background, does my character experience a unique struggle because of their ethnic background, or is my struggle primarily because of individual circumstances that are informed by the ethnicities at hand?”

If they experience a struggle primarily because of their ethnic background (ie- segregation), then that is a very nuanced narrative that should be left alone by outsiders because it’s exploiting another person’s pain for your plot.

If they experience a struggle heavily informed because of their ethnic background (ie- underdog because of racism, navigating a system that has particularly potent institutionalized racism like the psychiatric system), then that is an identity story that should be left alone by outsiders because it’s treating various isms (racism, classism, colourism) as a tragic backstory to overcome.

If they experience a struggle where their ethnicity plays a part but only minor events change if you switch around ethnicity (ie- starcrossed lovers where one side is very closed off), then it’s primarily because of individual circumstance that can be written by outsiders who do enough research.

I recently saw a very cute concept where a boy falls in love with a Muslim girl who keeps halal. He tried to win her heart by cooking, but she refused to eat it because it wasn’t halal. Once he discovered what the issue was, he learned all about halal cooking and made her halal meals to win her heart.

This story is only moderately informed by the girl’s customs. The story could be simply that she’s a picky eater, allergic to some foods, or has specific tastes. Because you can swap out a few things for it, this story isn’t About Being Muslim. The plot would’ve changed based on what it was, but the actual plot point could be anything.

But if there was a similar “guy falls for Muslim girl” situation and his family was Islamophobic, that would be using Islamophobia for plot pain and reinforcing all the gross stuff Muslims go through because of Islamophobia.

Hope that clears things up.

~ Mod Lesya

Question: Why when the shoplifting alarms go off do baby boomers just keep walking? 

Like 9/10 I have to chase down a baby boomer to make sure they are not stealing compared to those of the younger generations who normally stop and prove without asking that they are not shoplifting? Even when they are the only ones to walk through and the alarms go off, they still keep walking and become  very rude when you ask to see their receipts to make sure and it’s normally the opposite with millennials.

Like no ma’am I do not think you are a shoplifter it’s just that the machine thinks you are and I have to verify or discredit what the machine is saying. 

Am I the only one who notices this?

Not a fuck customer story but a cute one.

So this story is from my previous job at a thrift store. 

There was this old guy who came in and he didn’t speak a lick of English but he was still trying to ask for help finding an item. Asked pretty much every employee and, since none of them could understand him he just kept getting passed to the next person.

Well, finally he got to me and when he asked for the item again I realised that this whole drama could have been avoided if he had come in a day earlier because the one employee who spoke Polish was off that day. 

How did i know he spoke Polish? Because I know exactly one word in Polish, Czajniczek. And what was he asking everyone for? Czajniczek. A teapot. 

Anyway, he finally gets his teapot and I move on to the next customer. Two days later he comes back in and gives me a really cool present: a hand made apron with lace edged pockets. Polish speaking coworker translates the mutual appreciation between us. Never saw him again but he was the sweetest old man.

Playing a custom story that has some serious “holy shiz” moments but the rolls sucked as of late. Party: Elf Mage, Orc Warrior, A Bowman (forgot the race), and a Human Barbarian (me).

DM: The forest fog is so thick the horses seem to be drowning in the air. Bowman has the best sight so roll perception.

Bowman: (rolls 2) Well I can’t see shit.

DM: (frazzled) Ok, Orc, give it a try please.

Orc: (rolls 1) I can’t even see the damn road.

DM: (annoyed) Dare I ask the mage to roll?

Mage: (rolls 3) pffffffft (table erupts into laughter)

DM: (Exasperated) Barbarian, you have to get this. Please. I got this huge reveal and shit and it all hangs on whether the person in the group with the poorest eyesight can see something in the fog. Can you do it?

Barbarian: (rolls 4)

DM: Can’t you guys roll a SIMPLE D20?! Lemme see those dice. Everybody’s getting new dice!!!

4

I found some old screenshots from an Amnesia custom story that I tried to make a few years ago. The one at the top was just me experimenting. 2-4 were from a kitchen area I made, and the grunt in pic 4 was a friendly NPC named Arthur. I wish I still had the files so I could try to continue it. I like to think my level design was pretty good, but unfortunately I was horrible when it came to programming.

The Seasoned Skillet

The Gentry favor the culinary arts students. Like any Elsewhere student in a creative field, their passion is already intoxicating, but sometimes they leave offerings of baked goods. Sometimes they even get desperate or stupid enough to make a bargain.

But the student known as ‘Maillard’ was not here to bargain.

Their world was fire, and salt, and iron, and they carried that with them always. The scent of the wood-fired grill hung heavy on their clothes; their tea-towels scorched, but their sleeves always white and pure and clean. Their hands still stung with salt; coarse and crystallized, they’d scattered it over steaks, and sealed whole Red Snappers beneath its rocky crust. And the cast iron skillet at their hip carried with it the happy memories of a thousand meals or more, every one of them shared with friends.

And one of those friends was currently the plaything of the Fae, following what mortals would call a ‘bad deal’.

All around them, Maillard could feel the glamour, feel those burning eyes, feel the sheer unbridled outrage as it poured down from the thrones of ice and chaise-longues of living wood in turbid torrents, hell-bent on drowning out all thought. How dare you! How dare you bring these things here, into our world! How dare you think you can just walk in here, just stand there as if you’re anything less than nothing! Crawl, you worm! You insect! Bow down to us!

The words twisted themselves again and again, looking for a way in.

This is outrageous! We demand to speak to your manager!

But muscles honed from lifting sacks of potatoes and hauling huge sauce-pans of chicken stock held the heavy frying pan at arm’s length. Maillard had been pissed off before they’d heard The Bad News;they’d had A Busy Night at their professional kitchen internship. Tomorrow morning, they had to get up and laminate their croissant dough, rolling out unsalted butter and pastry into thin, unbroken sheets. There was no time for hesitation. No room for second guesses. Each and every one of those layers had. To. Be. Perfect.

So like hell they were going to stay up all night playing games.

“What will you give us for the girl?” One asked.

The Fae felt no fear. They could be offended, or be amused, but to them these were absolutes, far beyond the limited mortal constraints of 'feeling’. And being timeless, they were as patient as the grave. All they needed was a moment; the moment of confusion at a fork in the road, the moment a mortal’s faith was shaken, the moment when the stars were right and the moon was full. Sooner or later, they would have their way. They would have their - for lack of a better word - fun.

“I will give you my footprints, going back to whence I came.”

Maillard’s voice was unwavering, and their shoulders squared. The eyes they were looking into were like the winter sun, like burning ice, like death itself - but the customers at table six had ordered a round of extra-well-done steaks and sent them back three times because they were too tough. Table eighteen had requested vegan deviled eggs. Table nine had asked if they could take the sour out of the sourdough and the carrots out of the carrot cake. All were outraged. All were 'never coming back to this dump ever again’. Few left a tip.

They’d dealt with worse.

“I will take with me my fire, and my iron, and my salt. And from these I will forge not blades, but bread - the stuff of life - if you let her go.”

Bread, not blades. Keep the knives in the kitchen, not on the streets. Perhaps it was the magic in the air, but their whole reason for pursuing the culinary arts somehow weaved itself into words worthy of any storybook hero - and perhaps this was enough to amuse the Gentry. Perhaps they had merely tired of their plaything. Or perhaps, that momentary flicker amidst the Fair Folk - when the mortal, kissed by fire and blessed by salt, brandished their iron cookware - meant something else.

But they brought back their friend, covered with frost and fresh-fallen snow. And with their cast-iron skillet and their gas-fired oven and their kosher salt and their grandmother’s recipe, they made cornbread. And soup, because there was time, now. The two friends ate together, and the color came back to her hands and her cheeks, and the life came back to her eyes. And they talked about anything but what they’d seen and done, because that was What You Did at Elsewhere U.

Maillard left a slice of cornbread on the windowsill before they set their alarm clock. Not as a kindness, not as a payment, but as a promise; forged from iron, and salt, and fire, and love.

They supposed you could call it complimentary. The Fair Folk did love a compliment.

They tipped better than most mortal customers, too.

x

Listen, I love a “dumb customer” story as much as the next guy, but I’ve gotta admit the “why didn’t they just read the sign?” ones kinda get up my nose.

Like, yeah, there was a clearly posted sign telling them exactly where to find what they were looking for. The thing is, the story has at least a couple dozen aisles, each of which contains an average of half-a-dozen signs, and those signs typically don’t exhaustively specify the contents of each aisle.

So when you ask “why didn’t they just read the sign?”, what you’re basically asking is “why didn’t they spend a solid fifteen minutes systematically canvassing the entire premises for a sign that may or may not actually exist, rather than asking me and getting their answer in like ten seconds?”.

The answer’s pretty obvious when you look at it that way, innit?

Don't Be This Person

I was at work today and running a customers items through the till (i’m a cashier) and then the customer says, “Wow! It sure is a beautiful day outside,” he turns to me and says to my face, “Too bad you are stuck in here!” And he has the nerve to have a massive smile on his face like he said the funniest shit.

I dropped my fake smile. Turned at him directly. Put down his items. I stared at him dead in his eyes. I just stared. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t do anything. I just stared. I wanted him to know EXACTLY what he had said why he was an idiot for saying it.

I made him super uncomfortable.
And it was super worth it.

Don’t be this customer.

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✨ A wise woman once said: “F*ck this shit.” And she lived happily ever after.
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I feel like this was the attitude I had when starting my plant based journey. I was so FED UP… with feeling like shit, looking like shit, treating people like shit and most of all - treating myself like shit!
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I found this lifestyle, it peaked my interest and I went for it.. and never turned back. Years later and I’m just as passionate as I was the first month.. this is the coolest thing I’ve ever done. It set me free and it lit my soul on fire 🔥! plant based rocks! (And so does yoga 😝) .
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Shorts by: @unalomedesigns ✨✨ a little warm up this morning - my body felt SO tight and sore! maybe the rain?
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Wanna go plant based? 🦋 STELLATHELIGHT.COM ✨my full recovery story, custom plant based transition programs, health coaching, Ebooks, meal plans, recipes, my YouTube videos, client reviews and a lot more! (at Plant-Based Nutrition and Lifestyle)

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Let Me Pt. 2 // Jeon Jungkook

-

the prompt: can you make prince!jungkook into a series (or mini series?) pleaseee? Your writing is so good and prince jungkook is so adoring I love it!! the au this is based off of: i’m supposed to inherent the throne but really I’d rather own this tiny bakery with you.

words: 1684

category: fluff

author note: i had a really good time writing this and delving back into prince jungkook. pls enjoy this lil continuation!

- destinee

Originally posted by bangtanbanchan


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I completely forgot to post this cute interaction
  • On my co-worker's line, which was right behind me, there was this little girl. I didn't have anyone in my line and the girl was being nice and saying hi, so I thought I'd talk to her.
  • Me: Hi
  • Girl: Hi
  • Me: I like your sparkly shirt
  • Girl: Thank you
  • Me: *looking at her rainbow rain boots* Your boots are cool too
  • Girl: They're my work boots!
  • Me: Oh. Well, where do you work?
  • Girl: *thinks for a second* Nowhere
  • Me: Well then how are they your work boots?
  • Girl: They're rain boots AND work boots
  • Me: Oh, ok
  • Girl: I didn't want my shoes to get wet in the rain
  • Me: I understand that
Working in S** Customer Service

This story isn’t actually about me but is about my mum! She retold me the story today so I thought I’d submit it since it’s a fuck customer story but also has a happy ending.
My mum worked in a S** call centre in the customer services department, in the Escalated Complaints area. This meant she dealt with customers who could no longer be dealt with by the normal customer services.
Anyway, she got a call through and the first words out of the man’s voice are: ‘Put me through to the organ grinder, monkey.’
My mum had worked with S** for a long time now and knew the system back to front, better then most managers. She stands up in the middle of the open planned call centre and yells: ‘Who the FUCK do you think you’re talking too?!’
The manager runs over and is gesturing to get the phone but my mum just puts up her hand. The man on the other end goes: 'You can’t speak to me like that!’ And mum says: 'Yes I can speak to you like that!’
The manager is freaking out and the man whispers: 'It’s just… I’ve been trying to get help for this issue for ages and I’m just getting sick of this…’
My mum sits down slowly and says: 'That’s fine, I understand how that is but you have to understand that not all of us are the same and you should give us a chance before you start abusing people.’
The guys replies: 'Yeah.. yeah.. I’m really sorry about that…’
And my mum says: 'That’s okay, so why don’t we take back the monkey comment and we deal with your problem. My name is [insert name] and you are?’
My mum then has a reasonable conversation with the guy, deals with his problem which he had been trying to get fixed for months, and the guy finally ends the call happily and he thanked my mum for how she dealt with the issue and apologised again for his attitude. My mum, in turn, apologised for swearing and they finished the call.
The manager, who is still standing there looking like thunder, tells my mum to go wait in a conference room. My mum goes and waits and when the manager comes back she looks sheepish. She called the guy my mum had been dealing with and asked of he wanted to complain about my mum’s conduct. The guy, instead, gave her a shining review and so the whole issue was resolved neatly with my mum not getting into any trouble.

TL;DR Mum dealt with a frustrated customer who called her a monkey, she swore at him, dealt with the issue and got an amazing review in return.