custom monopoly

This is what I gave to Ed the last time I saw him: it’s his own one-of-a-kind custom version of Monopoly! It took many months to design and create from scratch, but it was a fun project to work on, and he really liked it. :D

I did all the art and design work myself, and my sister who is a professional book artist built the box and gameboard using my designs. I’m so lucky she agreed to help me! We were both so pleased with how it turned out.

Ed literally said, “I’m so excited!” when I gave it to him, and then we sat down on the floor and looked at all the pieces together. (That middle photo is him telling me I should be designing things for a living, which is just so flattering considering I didn’t even know I could do this stuff until I started doing it for him.) 

He went around the board and read all the names of the properties out loud, haha. It was so cute! He was particularly amused by the “Stuart’s Couch” space and called Stuart over to see it. The whole time, he kept going, “This is sick! This is so amazing!” <3

The little backpacks and sofas take the place of houses and hotels in the game. (So, technically you could build a sofa on Stuart’s sofa, which I think is funny.) The backpacks are jewelry charms I ordered from China and painted green with nail polish. And I sculpted each of the sofas from polymer clay and baked them in my oven, which made my house smell funny. The orange and green dice came from a specialty gaming vendor at Dragon*Con this year, and the Simpsons, Hobbit, Shrek, and Pokemon player tokens were all eBay purchases. At first Ed said he would always choose to be Blinky, the three-eyed fish from the Simpsons, but then he discovered the Pikachu token and, like, simultaneously burst into tears and orgasmed, so I figure his face was worth the stress of that eBay bidding war. Fact: A well-placed Pikachu will always make Ed Sheeran cry. ;)

If I could change anything about the game now, it would be to redo the money. When I first designed it, Murray was still part of the tour, Graham and the Sing puppet seemed more relevant, and Kevin hadn’t been hired yet. But Ed was still amused by it, I think. He even called Mark over to show him that he was on the 50. Mark laughed, but then he was like, “Only 50?” Each person has a quote on their bill, and Ed read those out loud too, but he stopped and just sort of giggled when he got to his own and didn’t read that one out loud. I’d probably change it to something about being pregnant with steak. Right now it says, “You don’t even look at me when we make love anymore,” which made me laugh at the time that I put it on there, but now I sort of wonder if he even remembers saying it. He might just think I’m weird.

Ed thought the radio stations instead of train stations was a clever idea, yay. And I was so glad to see that he seemed really entertained by the Chance and Community Chest cards! (In his game, they’re called Plus and Multiply cards. For reasons.) They’re all things that have really happened to him, like doing that icecream eating contest or being one of People Magazine’s Sexiest Men Alive. When he read the one about a bottle of Nandos peri-peri sauce shattering in his backpack, he was like, “Do you know that story?!” which I thought was funny because… it would sure be a hell of a coincidence if I put it on one of the cards and didn’t know it… but it was so cute that he asked and then shook his head mournfully like he still has regrets about it to this very day. Oh, Ed. You’re my favorite. :) 

Giving this gift to Ed was one of my favorite things I have ever done in my life. He was so happy! I’ve always said my ideal job would be Santa Claus because I love giving people presents, but honestly I don’t think I have ever enjoyed it more than that night. Look at his face! That smile! It makes my heart grow three sizes! It’s probably a good thing I don’t see him more often because I’m sure I’d spoil the boy absolutely rotten if given the opportunity. 

Sorry for such a long post. I’ll stop with the pictures now… after this one. 

:D

(You can see where Jamie Lawson mentioned the game at the BBC in [this video] and Ed talked about it with Buzzfeed [here].)

Kingdom Hearts Monopoly

Hey guys, well i’m apart of the Sarcastic Sora page on FB and we were talking about Kingdom Hearts Monopoly during a live stream. There had been some made but none with a full set so i decided that i would give it ago.

Below is the board, the game pieces, star shard as the houses and gummi ship as hotels, community chest cards, chance cards, Sigil’s (stations), muney (money used in game) and the property cards. Created on Adobe Illustrator and has taken about 5 days to make. All of the game pieces drawn by me. 

Please feel free to use this to play your own monopoly games. Please enjoy =D

Copyright to Monopoly, Square Inc and Disney 

Stories From My Career at Barnes & Noble, Part One
  • College-age boy dressed as a wizard looking for a book on healing crystals.
  • Man who flicked water on my co worker because there were no paper towels left in the men’s bathroom.
  • Multiple accounts of people trying to use their old Borders Rewards cards in place of a B&N membership.
  • Prank caller asking for a book by “Seymour Butts.”
  • Middle-aged man sitting in the Newsstand area eating a 7-11 Big Gulp slurpee with a spoon and doing nothing else.
  • Small child that ate a Godiva chocolate santa right out of the foil…in the middle of the register aisle.
  • Multiple instances of me asking male customers if they need help, being denied, and then watching them approach my male co-workers with a question about a science fiction/fantasy novel.
  • Being scolded by a nun for selling Playboy magazine.
  • Cutting myself with a boxcutter, holding my bleeding hand, and being asked by a customer if my register was open.
  • Soccer mom that reported me to a manager for asking her to step to the back of the line after she cut in front of five people.
  • Almost daily instances of finding books from the Love & Sex bay in the Children’s department.
  • Elderly European couple that steals chairs from other people’s tables so they can put their feet up with pillows they brought from home.
  • Multiple instances of going to the bathroom and hearing someone talking to themselves in the neighboring stall. (This literally happened to me twice today.)
  • Elderly man that told my manager to tuck in his shirt.
  • Different elderly man universally known to the staff as “Membership Guy.” 100% believes that you are out to steal all his information and ruin his life by asking if he’s a Barnes & Noble member.
  • A coworker asking Membership Guy if he found everything alright, to which he replied, “why the FUCK would I be up here if I didn’t find everything alright?!”
  • The time a dude from Texas Roadhouse came in gave us free bread and cinnamon butter.
  • Woman whose cafe order totaled $6.66 and bought an extra cupcake to avoid “bad juju.”
  • Elderly man with a painted on mustache and off-kilter wig that tries to show everyone YouTube videos of his nephew’s band. The fact that you’re in the middle of making five drinks at once will not stop him.
  • Man who ferociously denied donating to our annual book drive because “the government has taken enough from him.” (?????)
  • Dude that asked me to help him find a book called “100 Nights of Great Sex” while his wife looked on with dead eyes.
  • Woman that told me I was “shit at my job” for being unable to find a book that she didn’t know the title or author of, only that it was white.
  • Regular customer known as “Monopoly Guy” because he always wears a top hat. Constantly hits on one specific female employee and frequently calls to see if she’s working. Was once caught jacking off in the parking lot by a co worker.
  • Woman that blatantly refused to leave the store after close because it was raining.
  • Drawing one of the manager’s names for our annual Secret Santa exchange and buying him Managing for Dummies, which he quickly whited out to say Managing Dummies.
  • Being rolled around on a V-cart by a co worker.
  • Woman that continued knocking on the window after close and demanded we let her in because she had a gift card.
  • The number one item most frequently stolen being Magic the Gathering cards.
  • Elderly woman buying romance novels and loudly announcing “since I’m not getting any, I might as well read about it.”
  • Redneck man reporting the head cashier to me because apparently asking him if he was a Barnes & Noble member was “being a bitch.”
  • Woman that demanded I ring her up over the phone and then bring her purchase to her car.
  • Mall Santas repeatedly coming in for a coffee break in full costume.
  • Catching a (now unemployed) co worker reading manga on the clock. Every. Single. Day.
  • Woman that asked me to help her find a book while I was washing my hands in the bathroom.
  • Two college boys looking for books on “growing indoor plants.”
  • A man that called the store just to ask where the nearest RadioShack was.
  • Watching a co worker get yelled at for using the credit card in the customer’s hand instead of the one in her purse.
  • Being asked to make an “iced hot chocolate.” After explaining to the customer that what they were asking for was chocolate milk, they furiously repeated “NO. I want an iced hot chocolate.”
  • Woman that demanded the corporate number and my name after telling her that she couldn’t return a book with a receipt from 2009.
  • Being tearfully hugged by a widowed dad for finding him books to help him teach his daughter about puberty.
  • Performing the yearly missing child drill with an Elf on the Shelf doll labeled “Bob.”
  • The managers hiding Bob around the store during the holidays and awarding prizes if we find him.

And lastly (for now, anyway)…

  • Being forced to wear the ridiculous costumes for Friday night storytimes.
Dril Tweets by Myers-Briggs
  • INFP: Why is there anger on this world. In year 2014. You savage , hateful, ugly thing's
  • ENFP: ((sends yoyu an unsolicited 20 image sequence of me morphing into a neopet) i can take u... closer
  • INTP: sorry boys.. im goin A.W.O.L.. !!! Another Weekend On-Line
  • ENTP: NO I WILL NOT USE MY BRAND NEW 3D PRINTER TO PRINT OUT "A PICTURE OF RATS". PLEASE SUGGEST SOMETHING GOOD, LIKE CUSTOM MONOPOLY PIECES
  • ISFP: going to be doing some extremely powerful introspective poses on the railroad track for the next couple hours, so please cancel all trains
  • ESFP: custom long john silvers gift certificate that says "Partyboy" on it plealse
  • ISTP: i attached a middle finger to each blade of my ceiling fan and i make it spin even when it's cold inside because it looks very much bad ass
  • ESTP: if a sniper shot me i owuld run over to where he is and kick the gun out of his hand and kill him because hes not specialized in melee fight
  • INFJ: "my posts are more..i think.. self aware than most other peoples posts. Im also nice to everybody" -dril, visionary Disruptor; while smoking
  • ENFJ: i challenge us all to experience one another in a greater over all sense of adult maturity, in the year two thousand of fifteen, next year.
  • INTJ: sometimes it seems like i'm the only person who cares about, intelligence-related things, on the entire online.
  • ENTJ: herees what I say to those who think im having a goof on here (presses button on wristwatch & tiny pair of shades launches onto face) im Not
  • ISFJ: all girls on this website... im here to protect u from online swearing... pleae... please understand..
  • ESFJ: just give me one hour and no swear filter and i can literally completely destroy anyone psychologically with aim instant messenge
  • ISTJ: in the latest effort to distance myself from "Whacky" ;, "Random" bull shit, i will be changing my name from VolleyballCraig to NormalCraig,
  • ESTJ: there is a time and place for clowns and it is called "CIRCUS". not the computer