Please fire me. A customer just tried to convince my manager and I that the policy “opened CDs, DVDs, and Blurays may not be returned…” means that they “may” possibly be returned. She claimed to be an English teacher.
I used to work as a cashier/customer service person at Target. One day when I was working the customer service desk this guy came in to return a DVD of Pan’s Labyrinth. No big deal, but we were supposed to ask the reason for the return (was the disc defective, etc.).
Me: So, was there something wrong with the DVD, sir?
Customer: Yeah, it’s not in English and it doesn’t say that anywhere on the box.
Me: *turns the DVD case around and points at the description* No, sir, see it says right there “in Spanish with English subtitles”. We’re really not supposed to do returns on opened DVDs if there’s nothing actually wrong with the disc.
Customer: Well, I bought this movie for my five-year-old son and he can’t read yet so that doesn’t do him any good. And usually they’ll have an English version on the disc too so I thought this one would have that but it doesn’t. My kid can’t read yet so he can’t watch this and I want my money back!
He went on like that for a while, so I did the return for him to shut him up and had to mark a perfectly fine DVD for destruction, and the whole freaking time I’m thinking You bought Pan’s Labyrinth, an R-rated movie with some seriously fucking disturbing themes and imagery, for your five year old, having never watched it yourself to see if it was appropriate for a fucking kindergartner?! Worst. Parent. Ever. Good damn thing your kid never got to watch the movie. I mean, it’s a great movie, but not for a five year old!
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