custom built desk

Lemony Snicket observes Rhink

Dear Reader,

Though it is my solemn duty to document the tormented romance of the two men you see before you, there is no reason you should subject yourself to misery and woe of this channel.

I urge you, while your eyes are not clouded by uncontrollable grief, to pause and unsubscribe - before you indulge in even a second of the torturous pain you are about to see. It’s not too late to watch another video featuring simpler, happier things, but if you choose to watch on I can assure you only frustration, unfulfilled love, and awful food awaits you.

I myself have spent days weeping into the waters of Buies Creek, where I find myself researching the lives of the Neals and Mclaughlins. The depths of the unfortunate circumstances that haunt these two men even now keeps me up at night, and my only hope is you do not suffer the same fate. So as you read this I implore you to pause for thought, before promptly throwing your viewing device off the nearest high surface. 

Of course, there are many things that would make one pause for thought. For instance, a school of sharks might have you pause for thought as you question the wisdom of dipping your toes in the water, or a look on a teacher’s face may have you pause for thought as you question where you went wrong. But nothing, in all my years of research, has ever made me pause for thought like the look of despair on Rhett and Link’s weary faces.

I have concluded while examining the history of these entertainers, that the two men sitting behind the custom built desk are soulmates - a word which here means; long-suffering and deeply, deeply in love. It is a tale that reminds me, whenever I am witness to the dismal display, of my own beloved Beatrice, and I am sorry to say neither story has a happy ending. 

I leave this letter taped to the underside of the Harnett Central bleachers, in the hope that my editor finds it safe and delivers this message to the wider public.

You could still enjoy a happy little clip of a laughing goat. 

Yours sincerely,

Lemony Snicket


Note: If you aren’t familiar with Lemony Snicket or Lemony Snicket’s A Series Of Unfortunate events this will have made absolutely no sense and look really freaking weird. It’s weird anyway but… yeah.