custom VERSACE

This been done yet??????????
  • Lance (as a waiter): Hi, what can I get for you~?
  • Keith (as a customer): Yes, can I get the steak?
  • Lance: Sure, how do you want it?
  • Keith: ...on a..plate??
  • Lance: *pauses slightly poker-faced* No no, I mean like, how do you want it cooked?
  • Keith: *slowly shrugs* ...on a stove???????
  • Lance: *angry poker-face* ...get out.
5

Met Gala 2016 by Hayden Williams 

Anna Wintour in Chanel Couture

Kim Kardashian West & Kanye West in custom Balmain

Beyoncé in Givenchy Haute Couture

Willow Smith in Chanel & Jaden Smith in Louis Vuitton

Zayn Malik in custom Versace & Gigi Hadid in Tommy Hilfiger

4

rivers cuomo: okay kids, first game of the little league season! you’ve all been practicing so hard, and i know you’ll do a great job! there’s a cooler over on the sidelines with some egg salad sandwiches, juice boxes, and animal crackers if you need a snack. i’ve got a camcorder set up on a tripod in the dugout, so just let me know if any of your parents want a tape of the game. and remember, no matter what happens out there, i’m super proud to be your coach. and super proud to be your dad, blue ivy!

blue ivy: ugh dad… don’t be so corny…

[beyonce and drake pull up in a limo next to the baseball diamond]

beyonce: [steps out limo wearing custom versace] hey!! sorry we’re late… grammy rehearsals were running a little behind schedule.

drake: [points to cooler] what you got in here?

rivers: oh… just some homemade egg salad sandwiches for the kids… :)

drake: aww rivers, you ain’t have to do all that! we can get ovo’s catering team on this!

rivers: is that really necessa-

beyonce: oh, hey, rivers, is that camcorder in the dugout high-def?

rivers: no

beyonce: hold up, i’m gonna call jonas akerlund real quick and tell him to get down here with a crew. also, i’ll get my assistant to get his assistant to clear his schedule between three and five o'clock on tuesday afternoons ‘til the end of the season. then we’ll be all set.

rivers: bey, honey, it’s just blue’s little league game, does jonas akerlund really need to be down here with a whole video crew?

blue ivy: are you saying i’m not worth it?

rivers: sweetie, no, i…

blue ivy: [bursts into tears] STOP TRYING TO RUIN MY LIFE, DAD

drake: aww, blue-blue, no… don’t listen to rivers… you’re totally worth it. we’ll get any director you want to come down here and film you pitching your games.

blue ivy: [sniffles] i want martin scorsese

beyonce: of course, sweetheart

2

“THESE THOTS CAN’T CLOCK ME NOWADAYS YOU WISH I WAS YOUR POUND CAKE BOY YOU KNOW I LOOK GOOD AS FUCK WISH I WAS YOUR BABY MAMA WANT ME TO COME AROUND AND GIVE YOU GOOD KARMA BUT NO WE ESCALATE UP IN THIS BITCH LIKE-”

“rivers?”

“oh! hey… beyonce. didn’t see you there.”

“what are you doing?”

“nothing.”

“you’re standing in front of the mirror in my wig… and my custom-made versace gown… belting out flawless (remix) like your life depends on it.”

“okay but like… why does nobody ever let me live?”