On My Mind
Requested by: me
thirst is real and our Collective Husband deserves our undying love
Prompt: #31 “I don’t hate you.” (Luke Alvez x Reader)
A/N: Guess who’s back
in the CM fandom, peeps? :D Credit to @imagicana for helping me when I got
stuck and for being amazing by reading it and making very useful comments. The whole Roxy thing was her idea! Thank you, dear! :)
Edit: I forgot to add that the title also came from her :D
Requests are still closed, by the way!
I swear I tried to keep this short *sweats*
Warning: Season 12 spoilers ahead!
Garcia was complaining about your co-worker Luke again, or the Newbie, as she called him despite the fact that he had been part of the team for months now. She still kind of hated him because she felt he had taken Morgan’s place.
‘No one kicks doors down like my chocolate thunder,’ she told you from the couch one day after you asked her why she could not tolerate him. You had been hanging out together all afternoon during a rare yet peaceful Sunday.
‘You should at least try to be civil with him, you know?’ you advised, moving to the kitchen to refill your tea mugs as she tried to choose another movie to watch.
‘Why? He’s always trying to find ways to mock me,’ she tried to defend her behaviour.
‘That’s only because you mock him first,’ you replied as you came back and settled against the cushions. ‘You liked his dog, right? Roxy? At least try to bond with him over that.’
‘Maybe,’ Garcia said and brought an end to that conversation as she started gushing about some random actor.
Now, if you had the ability to travel back in time, you would probably go back to that exact moment and say something different.
Because in hindsight, telling your friend to bond with the guy you found mildly attractive and tried not to stare at all the time might be considered a mistake by some people. But, back then, you didn’t know that this infatuation was going to develop into anything else.
You couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when it happened. It was more of a gradual thing. The feelings grew with each passing day and new little quirk or endearing trait you discovered about him…
The way he smiled from across the room and waved at you in the mornings made your stomach flip. The way he stood in front of you when an UnSub got too close once (and then apologised because he didn’t want you to feel belittled by his overprotective nature) made you feel warm all over each time you remembered. The way he furrowed his eyebrows when he concentrated too hard on something made you want to reach out and smooth his handsome features.
It was all too much. You had troubles keeping a straight face and a blush from taking over your face whenever he complimented you on something you had done or how you had styled your hair that day. You thought, maybe, you stood a chance. All you needed to do was figure out if the things he told you were part of his personality, like Morgan’s constant stream of flirtatious comments, or if he actually liked you.
However, all your hope went down the drain and your heart sunk in your chest when you heard he and Garcia were on a first name basis now. You could not believe you had let yourself be fooled once more. It was the same feeling you got when you heard them starting to talk more comfortably to each other and again when Garcia showed you the little cat Luke had given her to cheer her up.
So one day, when you saw them chatting quietly in the hallway and laughing, you finally decided to step down. Your friendship with Garcia was a lot more important to you than some new guy. Even if he was the first person you were interested in after years of one-time dates that never led to anything.
You swallowed the lump in your throat and left the files you had been carrying in Garcia’s office. You got back to your desk and hoped that you didn’t get a case that day. You really just wanted to go home and wallow in self-pity in the comfort of your bed.
Thankfully, an hour later, with no case in sight, the team started getting ready to leave for the day while they chatted about their plans for the weekend. You discreetly grabbed your purse and made your way to the lift, trying not to bring any attention to yourself.
When the lift finally stopped in the parking lot, you almost ran straight to your car. You drove for a long while, willing your mind to calm down and accept the fact that you had never stood a chance, especially against Garcia. Feeling another wave of sadness hit you, you parked the car outside a coffee shop.