curt mcardle

//Food//


You’re sick of the British food industry, I can tell. Theres nothing worse than when you find they’ve been adding Horse-raddish to your favorite meat-alternative. You need a change. You need an 18 year old who has left the UK 7 times to tell you what to eat. I’m sent from above to guide you on a sucrose saturated journey. Your taste buds will thank me in the long run. Your arteries may not. Here is my 5 (Wierd) Foreign Desserts You HAVE To Try Before You Die

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1) Mochi (Japan): Imagine a rice ball with the texture of a boiled testicle. Fill it with an almost-sweet gritty bean paste and coat it in flour. Everything about it tells your body to be repulsed, but I bet you’ll go back for more. See if you can eat three in one sitting.

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2) Halva (Medeteranian): Halva is a sort of dry crumbly brick, made from sesame paste (tahini) and sugar. Lots of sugar. Sugar, of course, is water soluble. Stick a piece of Halva on your tongue and you’ll feel the sugar disolve soak through your membrane and straight into your blood stream, leaving a thin film of nutty mortar desprately trying to conceal the damage your'e doing to your body. Comes in various varieties, including Vanilla, Cocoa and Whole Nut’s

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3) Baklava (Former Ottoman Empire): You know Filo pasty, yeah? That flaky stuff they coat Spring Rolls or Feta & Spinach in? Well, what if I told you that filling it with chopped nuts, soaking it in syrup and cutting it into shapes acted as the corner stone to one of the greatest empire’s to date? THIS is where Darth Vader has been going wrong. He need’s Baklava in his life.

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4) Barfi (India): Possibly the least appealing name in food. To make matters worse, the name IS actually derived from the word Barf, which means snow in Persian. Fortunately, that's where comparisons end. A light play-doh esque pudding made from condensed milk and sugar, eating barfi is like consuming pure sweet air, sent straight from the heavens

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5) Salmiak (Scandinavia): Nothing about Salmiak sounds appealing. It’s basically a very strong, thick liqourice, flavored with Ammonia  the stuff that makes your piss smell and is used in smelling salts. There’s not even much more I can say really. You will never try anything as intense as Salmiak, I can assure you. Salmiak takes the crown, every time. There is nothing on the planet like it. You WILL end up feeling like this. Promise. 

Words: Curt McArdle