cursed pants

the signs as guys cumming

ARIES: loud grunting, not a lot of cum but it shoots far as fuck

TAURUS: deep sighing, low grunts, wants to whisper in your ear as he cums inside you

GEMINI: cums loud as fast, will shoot a load anywhere available, preferably your face

CANCER: silent as humanly possible, may whisper a curse word or two. cum usually drips down their dick

LEO: loud grunting, lots of cursing, cums hard but not that much, wants to nut on your ass or back

VIRGO: cursing ALOT, panting and grunting, will ask where you want them to nut on you

LIBRA: whispering curse words, panting. cums gently spills out their dick

SCORPIO: LOUD grunting, maybe even screaming. will shoot a really thick load in any hole

SAGITTARIUS: cursing and praising God at the same time, not a lot of cum, probably jacked his dick to cum everywhere

CAPRICORN: silent like Cancer, but shoots a thick load all the way across the room, will want you to suck the cum out of their dick

AQUARIUS: Lots of moaning, oohs and ahhs. will probably shoot small load on himself

PISCES: takes a long time to cum, a lot of moaning and cursing. will want to shoot a thick load on your titties and tell you to rub it in.


But enough of my sob stories. The reason I’m blogging about my life in the first place is to warn those wanting to become vampires. Most think the strength, the speed, the immortality are reason enough. But you’ll never feel the warmth of the sun on your skin again, you’ll have an insatiable thirst and you have to watch your friends and family grow old and die all around you.

The third point is why I have no friends. I’m also broke because finding work at night (other than becoming a criminal) is a pain. Plus today is the day I need to pay rent… I wish I knew how to hypnotize the landlor-

*Knock Knock*

“Who the fuc –” It’s 2am. Seriously, I have the rudest neighbours. I could be sleeping for all they kno-

The next knock was much louder 

“OKAY! Jeez, keep your pants on” *curses softly*


Hattori panted softly, cursing under his breath. He’d only been to his new collage for a week now, and he was already running late. His bag bounced against his side, the hard textbooks most likely going to leave a bruise, but he couldn’t afford to slow down now. He had forgotten to set his alarm, and he was paying the price for it. He’d stayed up late going over his books, on one of the relics he was looking too find.

And had slept in.

He cursed louder as he tried to push himself to run a bit faster. He was pretty in shape - thanks to Kendo - and was rather muscular. Even still, running from one side of campus to the other would take it’s toll on anyone. His breath was coming out in harsh pants as he raced against the inevitable second bell. He’d heard the first, and knew the second wasn’t far behind. Who would of thought on his late day, his early morning period free, would be the day he was late.

He could see the entrance in sight, a side door he’d learned that would lead him directly into the classroom. He could taste his goal on the tip of his tongue and pushed himself harder. In doing so he didn’t notice the other, heading in the opposite direction. Just before his destination, he collided with another human, sending him forward - the other in tow - where he landed on the person he’d run into. He winced a little and rubbed his side, which had gotten an elbow in it.

Just who hadn’t been paying attention?

“Oi, watch where yere goin’, if ya see a guy runnin’ stay clear, ahou.” Hattori spoke, looking down at the man under him, pushing himself up so he wasn’t laying on him anymore.


Guess who’s been writing a fanfiction instead of studying for her exams this week :D Anyway! This fanfiction was based from a dream I had not so long ago, and it was this picture’s fault! Hope you’ll like it!

Natsu yelled to stop at the dragon as he saw Lucy being blown away by Acnologia’s breath. Wings up with pride as he roared at the sky.



Natsu shook himself up, ignoring the pain he suffered by doing so, and ran straight for the black dragon.


The beast turned to face him, not even quivering, and swung his tail until it finally hit the dragon slayer, making him hit the ground a few meters away.

“Y-You… Curse you…” he panted.


Hearing his name, he lifted his head to see the guild members crushed by the dragon.

Oh no.

He tried to stand up again, but failed and fell back on the cold ground.

“Stop…” he whispered as if the dragon would hear him. “Please stop…”

“Let me go! Release me!”


His eyes grew wide at what he was seeing. Lucy, desperately trying to escape from the huge paw that was keeping her crushed between the monster and the ground.


“Natsu! Open your eyes!”


“Get up! Open your eyes! Get up!”

Everything went blank. And then…


Natsu quickly sat up, panting. He felt something hit him once, twice…

“Natsu, you’re awake!” Happy cheered as he stopped slapping him.

“H-Happy…? What happened? Where am I?”

“You had another nightmare” the exceed replied. “We’re home.”

Happy seemed worry. It wasn’t the first time he had nightmares. In fact, he recently had one or two per week now.

“It felt so real” Natsu sighed as he passed a hand in his now damp, pink hair.

“Are you sure you’re gonna be fine?” Happy asked.

“Yeah… Don’t worry pal, I’m fine now. Go back to sleep” he lazily smiled.

Happy slowly nodded and went back on the comfy blanket he had set on Natsu’s desk.

As Happy slowly fell back asleep, Natsu wasn’t able to do so.

Was Lucy alright?

2 a.m… It was 2 a.m.

Natsu sighed and stood, walking quietly, not wanting to wake the blue cat sleeping next to him.

The dragon slayer took a paper, and wrote down a note. He didn’t wanted Happy to worry while he was gone.

Happy, I’m going out for a little while. Don’t worry about me! If you read this and I’m still not home, go see Lucy or go at the guild. See ya tomorrow buddy! ~Natsu

Natsu slowly walked back to the desk, putting the note next to the sleeping fur ball, and quietly went out by the window.


Natsu reached Lucy’s window, and slowly opened it. He set one leg inside, then the second, as quietly as the first one.


No answer.

“Hey, you here?” he asked as he walked towards her bed.

A muffled growl reached his ears, making him sigh in relief.

Lucy opened one eye, slowly turning her head to see the pink haired dragon slayer standing in her room.

Wait. What?

“Natsu!” she screamed as she realized he, indeed, was in her room. “What are you doing here? It’s like, almost 3 A.M!” she hissed.

“Uh” mumbled. “I was just wondering if you were fine…”

She raised a brow at that.

“Natsu” she ask concerned. “What’s wrong?”

He looked up, seeing her pat the spot next to her, showing him to sit there.

“Well” he whispered as he sat on her bed. “I uh… I had a nightmare…” Lucy’s expression softened. Natsu had a nightmare.

Of course. That’s why he was here.

“Want to talk about it?” she asked as she put her right hand on his.

“No… I just thought- It was so real, Lucy. I just wanted to be sure you were fine.”

“I understand, Natsu” she smiled.

The room fell soundless as she slowly drew circles in his palm, as if it would make him feel safer.

“I may sound weird but…” Natsu started. “Can I sleep here, just tonight?”

She felt the heat reaching her cheeks.

“Uh, well-”

“Oh! It’s okay if you don’t want to, really! I was just-”

“Natsu” she cut him off. “Don’t worry, you can sleep here if you want.”

He gave her his famous Natsu smile, and whispered “Thanks, Lucy.”

“W-Whatever” she blushed.

Lucy was about to let him her bed, but as she was about to stand, a strong arm grabbed her waist, pulling her back in bed.


“Can you stay?” he mumbled in his scarf.

“I- I guess.”

Natsu smiled, pulling her in his arms as he threw himself under the sheets.

“Hey, Lucy.”

“Hm?” she hummed as she turned to face him.

Oh Mavis. He was so close.

He leaned forwards, dangerously close.

“I think,” he whispered, a few inches from her lips. “I may have fallen in love with you.”

Shutting his eyelids, his lips met hers in a sloppy kiss.

He tasted like fireworks. Yes. Fireworks. And it tasted amazingly good.

At first, she just stood there, not knowing what to do. But then, her eyelids shut and her own lips melted against his. Her hand slowly moved in his hair, fingers and nails brushing his scalp.

They slowly broke apart, panting.

Was the room always this hot?

“Hem” Natsu bashfully mumbled as he looked away. “Goodnight…?”

Her eyes widened, but then, she let out a chuckle.

“W-What?” he flushed.

“I think,” she whispered as she leaned forwards. “I may love you too.”

Running with Calum

You stretched, it had been a while since you’d been running. Work had piled up until it occupied every surface in your apartment. Your head was swimming with facts and figures you needed for the next meeting but you began to feel like that was everything there was to life so you’d pulled on your old band shirt and your leggings. It had taken forever to find your running shoes so by the time you left the house, it was mid-morning and more people were around. You sighed, hoping nobody would pay attention to you as you jogged through the park, puffing and panting and cursing at yourself for stopping this in the first place.

You bent down to fix your shoelace, an excuse to stop really, and heard the almighty thud from behind. You stood up and turned quickly to find what it was, you hadn’t expected the guy on the floor. The tattooed boy was swearing as he realised his nose gushing with blood. He held his jacket sleeve to his face, cursing the fact he had probably broken it.

“Shit, are you okay?” you asked, quickly jogging over. “How the fuck did you not see the tree?”

He moaned, muttering something about having the sun in his eyes.

“What’s your name?” you questioned him as you knelt down to examine his nose.

“Calum,” he said with a hiss. “Fuck this hurts.”

You helped him up and pointed towards the entrance of the park.

“My apartment is only a couple of minutes away, I’ll grab my car keys and drive you to the hospital,” you told him. “You’ve probably broken it.”

He sighed, nodding. “Thanks, I guess this is kind of your fault.”

You frowned, wondering if he’d hit his head in the fall too.


“I was checking you out, you looked good and the tree jumped into my path,” Calum explained as you walked back out of the park. “You’re beautiful.”

You blushed and turned your face away from him. You’d thought the exact same thing about him, maybe minus the blood and the groaning. It’d be a funny story to tell your grandchildren, you thought then kicked yourself. You’d known the guy less than five minutes and you were already planning a future with him.

“Thanks, though I bet you’re wishing you didn’t have to break your nose to talk to me,” you joked, leading him onto your street and up to the doors.

“Sort of, but at least I know where you live now,” he said before closing his eyes out of embarrassment. “Shit, that sounded creepy. I just meant that – fuck, there is no recovery from that.”

You laughed and opened your front door, letting him walk by you. You watched as his eyes took everything in, your colour scheme that you’d picked last month with a hangover, the books that were scattered like snow around the lounge, even the way you positioned your cushions seemed to fascinate him.

“Please don’t bleed on my carpet,” you said suddenly, pushing him towards your kitchen when you realised that he still had blood running down his face.

He chuckled, moving to your sink and holding his face over it. You began to open the cupboards, telling him you knew you had a first aid kit somewhere.

“Do you make a habit of running into trees when you see pretty people then?” you teased as you tried to reach the green bag that you spied on top of your cabinets.

Calum laughed and walked over, reaching up easily though his shirt rode up a little, revealing his defined muscles. You bit your lip before forcing your eyes away.

“Did you enjoy the view?” he asked cheekily.

He slid the bag to you and you began to search it, acting like your cheeks weren’t burning.

“I have no idea what you could possibly mean,” you lied as you picked up some gauze for him to press to his nose. “You’ll have two lovely black eyes tomorrow.”

He sighed before smiling at you. “You’ll still find me attractive though, right?”


Pranking Filch probably hadn’t been the best idea. It was fun though, he was always so pissed off. He came storming out of his room so quickly, you hadn’t had enough time to get away. You were barely around the next corner when he came after you. Fred was way ahead, with you two trying to catch up. You wouldn’t make it in time and you already dreaded your punishment.

George suddenly grabbed you by the hand and pulled youn in an open storage closet in the hope Filch wouldn’t look inside.

He didn’t, you heared him running past you, panting and cursing.

“You two get me in trouble every time.” You say and laugh.

“You’re a troublemaker even without our help.”

“Yes but I’m smart enough, not to get caught.”

“We didn’t get caught.”

“Yeah but we barely made it.”

You hadn’t realized how close you two were standing together in the small room. A blush was spreading across your face, luckily he couldn’t see it in the dark.

“Do you think it’s safe to go ou now?” You ask.

George puts his hands on your waist and pulls you closer towards him, “I think we should stay a little while longer, just to be completly safe.” He says, you know he has a smile on his face even when you can’t see it, you can practically hear it.

“Is that so?” You say in amusement.


When Fred comes looking for you, he finds you two pressed against each other and kissing in the closet.

“I’m glad you made such an effort to find me.” Fred says laughing.

Safer: Steve Rogers x Reader (6/?)

Part Five

“Under no circumstances can you tell Cap.” Tony felt something tighten in his chest, and he pushed it away.

“Tony, we have to -”

“No, Rhodey, we can’t. We have to wait until this is all over to tell Rogers.”

“Tell Rogers what?” Steve’s voice asked, through the earpiece, all could hear panting. Tony cursed himself for creating a machine that could switch coms at such an inopportune time. “Stark.” His voice came through the speakers again.

Tony took a deep breath, rounding about his flight pattern. He struck two more of the robots. “Alright, Cap, you’re not going to like this..”

Keep reading

I had a dream where Noiz and Aoba were intensely making out like I’m talking about tongues, heavy breathing, taking off clothes, all of that

and then they hear crunching noises and stop, and slowly turned towards the sound to find me eating popcorn, enjoying the show