curse of the grandmas

Albus: Grandma… I’m gay.

Molly: Gay? Is that the one where you don’t eat meat?

Albus: Uh, no. It means I’m attracted to other men.

Molly: Oh, good. It’s important to eat plenty of meat.

anonymous asked:

please gimme more Italian Pidge hc

oh h*ck lemme see

-her grandma/nonna always told pidge not to curse but then five minutes later started cursing out the TV in italian

-dipping bread in oil olive is one of her favorite snacks

-i feel as though sewing is a very italian old lady thing????? idk it could have just been my grandmothers. but anyways. pidge can sew really well and her nonna taught her.

-pidge has a fucking HUGE extended family. like, almost as big as lance’s.

-her dad isn’t italian rather a mix of irish/british/welsh/whatever and because of that her last name is holt. her dad also doesn’t really know which culture to cling onto because of that, so that’s why her immediate family adopted the italian-american culture so fully.

-there’s like…..this de facto old rule in italian-american families that you have to marry someone who’s both catholic and italian. while a lot of italian-american families have dropped this ideaology, we still joke about it a lot so i can imagine that pidge would bring home her first girlfriend (who is an outerspace alien, of course) but then suddenly panics as she’s introducing her gf because she isn’t catholic or italian.

-pidge is like so fucking critical of pizza, pasta, meatballs, and gravy (sauce). like, she even said to hunk (the best cook she’s ever know) in the nicest way possible that his meatballs won’t ever compare to her nonna’s.

-she would rather die than use canned sauce

anonymous asked:

ok but imagine allura becomes black paladin, right? what if when they get shiro back, she's the one who saves him. it takes him a minute, but he realizes it's actually h E R. ALLURA IS A L I V E. and he just,,, fucking,,, HUGS her and tells her he thought he lost her

this is also all i want in life. SHALLURA REUNION HUG 2K17

Soulmates

Okay. NEW SERIES! I had to do it because my love for AJ is beginning to over take my whole life. I did this one based off an AU prompt that’s been floating around. Basically the OC has an antique necklace that her grandma gave her that’s got supposed special powers to find her soulmate. She obviously doesn’t believe that, until she meet AJ Styles (the man she’s been crushing on for a while now), in person for the first time and something odd happens.
I hope you all like it!

Tag list: (Shield sisters get tagged no matter what. Even if they don’t like AJ, *Cough cough* Asylum *Cough, cough*) @i-kneel-for-king-loki @straight-outta-the-asylum @livingthestrongstyle @the-geekgoddes @geekoftv @planetahmane @ajstylesworld @littledeadrottinghood @thatwrestlingfan91 @lovemybtrboys @wrestlingbabe @xstylesxclashx @littlebluespoon @gurimujox @superrezzy00 @stardustmoonlightflower @blondekel77 @pjanina13 @wrestlingnoob @lady-laura-speaks @phenominalstyles @caffeineandreveries

Warnings: FLUFF
Word Count: 2869 (whoops)

Chapter One: Electricity

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Sirius and Lily Road Trip Conversations
  • Sirius: Plays Fuck you by Lily Allen really loudly, and rolls down the windows.
  • Lily: Close the windows you're going to annoy that poor grandma with your curse words.
  • Sirius: Good, I hope I annoy her. Her generation fucked up the economy, the least I can do is fuck up their day.
  • @siriusly-not-over-remus
Numb episode 2

Lance looked at his team they all where there and they all heard him ‘shit’ Lance thought “Lance have you been hiding something from us?” Pidge ask Lance looked at her Pidge flinch at the cold blue eyes she could feel a cold climbing her back as Lance stare at her it was…scary she gulp “Lance buddy thanks for saving me back there I really really appreciate it but I think there could’ve been another way to do it” hunk say Lance turn at him “yeah there was another way give him the lions and let the universe get fucked up” Lance said cold it was so so cold hunk could swear the temperate of the castle was decreasing “Lance you didn’t need to kill him couldn’t you aim a different place? Like his arms or his legs?” Keith said stepping close to Lance if you want to fight ice you need fire “his arms where around hunk’s neck and his legs where behind Hunk’s body the only thing I had to aim was his face” Lance answered he couldn’t get himself to lie now there was no point they already notice Blue purr at Lance sending comforting thought that pulled a chuckle out of Lance “it’s ok girl I’m not sad” Lance said turning at blue 'wow that’s the most honest thing I’ve said in my entire life’ Lance thought “Lance if there’s anything you want to tell us please do it we are a team we need to know each other secrets right?” Shiro said Lance let out a sigh “alright if you want to know wait for me at the living room I’ll be there on a second” Lance said.

As the team leave shiro and Keith notice Lance go back to talk with blue, they all arrive to the living room in complete silence “Lance is kinda scary” Pidge say breaking the silence “what do you mean?” Keith say “guys he stare at me and we kinda lock our eyes together and it felt…so so cold it felt like I was staring into the eyes of a serial killer it was scary” Pidge said with her concern look “Well Lance did felt cold I mean his words where” hunk answered and Lance walk into the room standing away from everyone “so you wanna know what’s off with me?” Lance said “yeah Lance we’re concern” shiro answered “ok but get comfy…is a long story” Lance said and starts telling his team everything about his numbness “and that’s all” Lance said “that’s all? That’s all?!” Keith said standing up “Lance how could you hide something like this from us?! We’re your team!!” Keith said walking close to Lance “Keith” Lance said “you could’ve told us something of this magnitude before you being numb and all the times you flirt!? And joke?! It was all a lie?!” Keith keep yelling until Lance cover his mouth “Keith….you’re proving…my point” Lance said.

He continue explaining that his grandma said it was a curse but his mom took him to different doctors even out of the country and how faked it so people will be happy “the point is people freak out when I explain that I’m numb for some reason Blue choose me so maybe she saw something good on me” Lance said “or maybe is that I can kill without hesitation” Lance shrug “who knows” he said and leave the room he leaved the team in complete silence they looked at each other Lance felt like if they already know the true there was no point on keep lying so he did the flirting stoped so did the jokes and the rivalry at Keith the team felt so so empty without goofball Lance they needed him to be emotional because a week after Lance stop being emotional the fights stared Keith and pidge will often fight shiro will yell at hunk when he cooked a lot after a month even hunk start loosing his nerves and Lance couldn’t give less a fuck talking about Lance he was often on blues hangar she will send him messages vibes to his brain that kinda make him feel.

It was just a little bit Lance could feel a little of those tickle his Abuela said it was happiness or sometimes a little cold of the sadness but it wasn’t near enough of what his team felt they where all angry and they where always in that mood to the point that they where untouchable one time Pidge bump on Lance and…“Watch where you’re going Lance!!” Pidge said stumping away Lance raise an eyebrow on battle things where worse and today they needed to behave “Paladins I know this last month you all have been going through a hard time but this alliance is important so please behave” Allura said “you too Lance” she said looking at Lance “I don’t understand why you point at me I’m the numb one remember” Lance said with his cold tone of voice that pissed Keith and shiro.

Keith and shiro have been dating for the past two months but when the fight increase they stop showing affect to each other.

They land on the planet and got to a palace the paladins behave good enough to make the alliance the king of the planet was so happy that they threw a party for the paladins and at the party they where minding their own business but when it was time to go and they got together their notice Lance was missing the four paladins search him with their eyes until hunk spot him “there” he said pointing at Lance laying against at a pillar arms crossed and a leg against the pillar surrounded by a group of girls who where giggling and blushing Lance was just with his stone emotionless face “looks like Lance has fans” Pidge said Lance said something and the girls blush even more “what do you think he said?” Hunk asked “back on that time I would’ve said he flirt but…Lance doesn’t do that” pide said a pinch of sadness on her voice suddenly Lance was trying to get away when he walk out of the group some girls clench to his arms and Lance was trying to make them let go hunk chuckle “if I didn’t know better I will say he’s annoyed” hunk said “yeah..yeah” pidge said changing her smile for a curious expresión “guys…what if Lance can only feel if he’s pushed to a certain limit?” Pidge say winning the looks of her teammates “I mean looked at him that’s truly an annoyed looked his eyes are saying 'let go off me this is annoying’ am I right?” Pidge ask her team nodded.

Suddenly Keith and shiro attention was focused on other thing this guy pulled Lance away from the girls and hide him behind a pillar covering him with his body way closer than Keith and shiro liked they guy looked at Lance and crack a smile, “wow looks like the girl not only like the armor you’re pretty well looking” the guy said Lance raise an eyebrow “did you saved me so you could flirt with me?” Lance ask the guy chuckle “wow where are your feelings?” The guy said “I don’t have them” Lance answered “really?” The guy said with a flirty voice “my name is IconZeth but you can call me Icon” Lance roll his eyes “Lance” “huh?” “My name is Lance” Lance said “we’re officially not strangers anymore then” Icon said “babe do you ever smile” Icon said Lance give him a 'seriously?’ Looked “didn’t you hear me I have no feelings whatever I’m heading back to my tea-” Lance was shut up with a kiss Icon kissed him without warning and it wasn’t stoping it was just getting more passionate until Lance pulled away for a gasp of breath he should’ve react sooner it just took him by surprise.

Lance just walk away from Icon without saying anything he shook his head multiple times trying to force his brain to process what just happen that was…new Lance never kissed someone before that guy Icon stole his first kiss and when he found his team he could see the Rage on Keith and shiro’s eyes “Dude what the fuck happen back there?!” Pidge said surprise “are you alright?” hunk ask “yeah it wasn’t a big deal he just kissed me” Lance said shiro grab Keith’s arm when he felt Keith was about to head to the guy who kissed Lance Keith knew that grab means 'Calm down control yourself this is no place to behave like that’ “even tho that was my first kiss” Lance said that’s when shiro let Keith go and Keith understand that now meant 'fuck manners we’re fucking killing him’ Lance stretch his arms stoping both of his furious teammates “I’m not letting you beat him up Allura will get furious and I don’t enjoy Allura’s screams they give me headache” Lance say the team head back at the castle after that Lance was going to walk to blue’s hangar he rest his body against Blue’s paw and touch his lips they felt warm when Icon kissed him but he knew that it should’ve feel more.

He remember when a guy stole a kiss from his sister she got so so mad she freak out and his brothers got mad too he had to hold them before they killed that guy but he was focused on how his sister reacted she was shook and confuse and mad but Lance just got caught off guard so it surprise him “why do I have to be weird girl? I can’t even enjoy fly you I don’t feel the happiness the other feel flying their lions” Lance said blue send him the vibes of anger he should’ve feel that moment but like said before it wasn’t enough of what real anger was “thanks girl I’ll head to my hot head teammates” Lance said giving Blue a few pats and then heading to the control room where literately everyone was fighting, Lance sit down the fight was during longer than necessary two fucking hours Lance had a massive headache because of that and then he snapped “ENOUGH!!” He yelled gaining his team attention and FINALY some silence “you all screaming are giving a huge headaches damn” Lance said “Do you even know what we’re fighting for?!” Pidge say Lance looked at her with his cold eyes “no and I don’t care the only thing I care about is that you all shut up so my headache can stop” Lance said “Why the blue lion choose such a selfish paladin It always made terrible decisions” Allura say Lance looked at her and no one could’ve predict what was about to happen.

TO BE CONTINUE

(haha!!! Cliffhanger!!! Nah I survive the hurricane or well I’m surviving I had to evacuate my house because there was a tornado alert so I’m on a university dorm hehe things are really fucked up there’s a fucking thunder storm outside but nothing stop me from writing langst fanfics MUWAHAHAHAH!!! Whatever I hope you guys liked this episode of numb and I’m gonna be able to write a little more because thanks to the hurricane I have no school
Spoiler alert: Lance is gonna be a badass fucker next chapter)

Fireside Reflections [1/1]

A/N: Because @justanotherwannabeclassic‘s post here gave me feels I didn’t ask for. Thanks to @spartanguard for beta reading this unusually non-verbose nonsense!  


“So… Cinderella.”

Henry chuckled before taking a long pull from the all-too familiar leather flask in his hand. 

“I’m just surprised as you are,” he said, only grimacing a little at the strong after taste of rum as he handed the flask back to its owner. “The last person I expected to end up with was a fairytale character.”

His step father studied the intricate design carved into the flask’s aged leather for a long moment before casually shrugging. “It’s not surprising to me that you did.”

Henry’s brow furrowed at the conviction of his step-father’s words.

“Why do you say that?”

“You were destined to, lad,” Killian replied, taking a large sip of rum himself. “Despite growing up in the Land Without Magic, your own family tree is filled to the gills with what you and your mother term fairytale characters. Prince Charming, Snow White, Rumplestiltskin, the Evil Queen… even that blasted demon Pan.”

Henry smirked. “Don’t forget Captain Hook.”

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well!! i just wrote 2k of a random thread that i’m not actually going to post or make into a full story, i’m just not into s7 enough for it to go anywhere. but i thought i would post it here on the off chance that someone might be interested!

ETA: also apparently tumblr ate all the italics, I put back the necessary ones but y’all are gonna have to imagine my emphases rip!!!


“You might not remember us, but I remember you,” Lucy informs her dad. He’s still staring at her with a vaguely amused look on his face, and he blinks around the bar owlishly, as though he’s never seen anything quite like it before. Which is so impossible, because Daddy’s seen everything. Daddy was born in a world without magic, just like this one, and there’s no way–

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I look forward to 50 years time, when “motherfucker” will be a quaint old curse said by aged grandmas, much like “heck”, “darn”, and “bless my soul” today.