curry is the spice of life

New Brown America

When I was a kid, the one thing I wanted more than anything else was a Cabbage Patch Kid.

But, in the late 80s/early 90s - they didn’t make Cabbage Patch Kids with light brown skin and dark brown hair and eyes. 

There was black and white and that’s how the world was divided….but not because I grew up in Southall. 

Pretty much every kid I went to school with had brown skin, brown hair and a mom who made them eat rice every night. 

So, where were our dolls? 

I watched Hasan Minhaj’s Netflix special - Homecoming King - recently and I fucking loved it. LOVED it. It was like hanging out with my coolest cousins - it was hilarious, heartfelt and bilingual. 

Originally posted by allycoalition

Here’s a dude that looks like me and sounds like me. 

Someone who can reference Drake and knows heartbreak. 

Someone who also understands that if you’re reading this, it’s already too late, I’ve bit the fucking laving in the biryani and I think I might be dying, man. 

Over the past couple of years - I’ve noticed it more and more. 

More Indians represented in media. 

More people who look like me and sound like me. 

For me, it started with Kal Penn in Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle

Originally posted by okaayawesome

For the first time in my life - I saw an Indian character I could relate to. For once, I saw an Indian person who didn’t have a thick, ridiculous accent. An Indian person who wasn’t mocked with “smelly curry” jokes. 

Sidebar: Literally fuck every single person who makes this joke. Firstly, people didn’t die in the spice trade for you to be so goddamn ignorant and secondly, do you even understand how complicated and lush and beautiful a curry is? How much time and energy and love it takes to make? No. You don’t. So, shut the hell up and try not to choke on your shitty mayonnaise sandwich. 

I saw an Indian dude who dropped pop culture references and used the word “dude” about as much as I do. I saw someone whose dad looked like an angrier version of Paps. I saw an Indian who wasn’t a doctor or an engineer or a call center employee. 

Alright, fine. He was applying to med school in the movie but like the man said:

Originally posted by thecheeziersnack

And then came Mindy Kaling who was basically a goddamn revelation in really cute shoes. 

A smart, funny, mouthy Indian woman WRITER who gives ALL the fucks about cute packaging for make-up and SNL sketches? 

Originally posted by shashaaussi

It was like hearing my voice for the first time. Holy shit - that’s what I sound like?! That’s amazing! My voice is like a cross between Fergie Asha Bhosle and Jesus! 

And of course, there’s Aziz Ansari. A man who created a genuinely honest look at the first-generation immigrant experience for millennials with Master of None

The “Parents” episode of the first season and the “Religion” episode of the second season really hit home for me. The former deals with the stark differences between immigrant parents and their children and the latter deals with coming out to your parents about your lack of religious convictions - both issues I’ve certainly dealt with in the past couple of years. 

I am part of #NewBrownAmerica

I can talk about the issues of the GOP condemning systemic poverty as if it were a mortal sin, I can rhyme every single word in Montell Jordan’s This Is How We Do It, I know how Ganesh got his elephant head and that Mom has hidden little Ganesh statues in all of my apartments she’s been in and I’ve been making cups of chai since I was six-years-old, so I’m totally comfortable mocking the shit out of anyone who orders chai tea lattes. 

Chai means tea. Latte means milk. You’re ordering a tea tea milk and you need to knock it off. 

And I can do whatever the hell I dream of doing because isn’t that the promise of America? 

I’ve even become more comfortable with speaking Gujarati. I mean, I’m super rubbish at it and my pronunciation will make every one of my masis wince, but I’m not embarrassed anymore like I used to be. 

We were trying to book an AirBnB last night and I asked J to text the link to our buddy. 

“How do I do that?”
“Here. Batawu.”

As in, here. Let me show you. 

I’m becoming more myself and it feels easier. 

Maybe because I’m in my mid-30s and you just don’t care as much about that kind of stuff anymore but also because there’s a we now. 

I see people like myself on television and it’s such a big fucking deal. And you know what’s even more exciting?

In like, fifty years - it won’t even be a big deal anymore. Some little Indian girl is going to see tons of people on TV like her and she won’t even bat an eye because duh, why wouldn’t Indian people be on TV like everyone else? 

Representation matters and seeing this new crop of talented, smart, funny and brilliant brown people who grew up on Bollywood and Barbies, Ganesh and Ghostbusters and the goddamn pressure cooker going off at 8:00 in the morning gives me such hope. 

Still waiting on that Cabbage Patch Kid, though. 

Some vegan food life hacks

1. Raw cashews + water = creamy sauce. Cashew cream + vegetable stock = perfect stroganoff or pasta sauce. Cashew cream + tomato pasta sauce = pure epic
2. Blend tehini with fresh parsley, lemon, garlic, a little water and salt and pepper for a delicious sandwich filler
3. When baking sweet potato fries - don’t wash your potato first. Any moisture makes them soggy - they’ll be 10x nicer if the potato is dry
4. Bake vegetable sticks with rosemary and eat them with hummus. Yum
5. Make your own basil pesto - it’s so easy and so tasty. Basil+pine nuts+ olive oil+ garlic + salt n pepper+ nutritional yeast = the most delicious pesto
6. Freeze your tofu before you use it. It changes the texture dramatically. Extra firm tofu frozen + defrosted + pressed + marinated + baked or fried = an amazing sandwich filler, stir-fry or curry addition (or just eat with veg coz its yum)
7. Add coriander to everything because coriander is a gift to this earth
8. Add nutritional yeast and a little veggie butter to your risotto for extra creaminess
9. When cooking with coconut milk (eg curry) add plenty of spices and let it cook for a while on a low heat. It’ll thicken up nicely and absorb the flavour better!
10. fry cashews briefly in a little oil on a pan for an amazing addition to a stirfry

Hope these are useful to someone!

One of my goals in life is to make a curry that makes my brother cry from spice by the time the year runs out, but I failed again tonight. I used what we normally have and just added a few extra kicks, and no tears. From either of us. If anybody has some secretly super spicy pepper (that isn’t a Carolina Reaper yet), I’ll pay you for it. This one might not have made us cry but it at least tasted awesome.

Rhyming Orange

As the carotene dawn shades ginger,
Calmed solace sets in while December grows dimmer.

On the stove simmers a turmeric tea,
Curry noodles with spiced paprika in a saffron melody.

Finding myself free to picture a mold,
Shapes and patterns of artistic naranga wait to unfold.

The hieroglyphs of old give inspiration,
Stone-drawn tales with realgar, orpiment, and minium.

I slowly stir cadmium sulfide selenium,
Watching as New York City celebrates the millennium.

We sing in requiem “Auld Lang Syne”,
Visions of those recently departed in marigold dreams.

And an image streams from the dead,
A red planet’s horizon shines with a vibrant ġeolurēad.

Strokes lightly tread on canvas veneer,
Filling in the crocoite sands and massicot atmosphere.

Arancia paint smears against the frame,
Quinacridone colors bring life to a scenery now made.

check this shit out: get home, turn the oven on, put on music, throw like four servings of rice in the rice cooker. slice cauliflower, toss with sesame oil, black pepper and curried sea salt, then pop em in the oven. put some lentils on and spice the shit out of them. hold back the salt because you’ve finally learned to listen to the aunties in your life. get them to a gentle boil and then leave em. slice ginger and onions and throw them in a pan with sesame oil, garlic powder, salt and pepper. combine with the frozen vegetable and fake chicken neglected in the back of the freezer, stirfry. add soy sauce. realize you added too much soy sauce and balance it out with more pepper and cayenne. stirfry and rice done at exactly the same time because you’re amazing. eat the stirfry and a quarter of the rice for dinner and top off the lentils with more water as soon as you’re done. get the water back up to temp just when the cauliflower is done. eat a few florets because it’s amazing and delicious and then apportion it and the rice into three tupperware. drain the lentils, stir in equal parts curried salt and table salt, add to tupperware. done. you’ve eaten dinner and packed lunch until payday inside forty-five minutes

The set up: go out, get those samosas you’ve been dreaming of ever since your ex boyfriend’s mom brought them home that one night they played nothing on the home stereo except arcade fire. After eating the samosas over the takeout box in the car with the girlfriend, go to the local indian grocery and stock up on all the spices you’ve been missing so you can make the curries you’ve been wanting to make. Listening to Anne Briggs while putting away the groceries while a pizza cooks in the oven.

The evening: a cigarette smoked out the open balcony door while looking out over the snow. Lighting an amber christmas themed candle. Talking to a friend about life over the phone while weighing out enough garlic to drown a small town. Hanging up and listening to a podcast about daily skincare routines being like a ritual of mindfullness for tending to your body. Drinking a gin and tonic, prepping to make two curries tomorrow night after work.

wedding plans//c.h

“Hey babe I’m home! And I got takeout!” You heard your fiancé waltz through the door, the familiar crinkle of takeout bags resonating through your apartment. 

“Oh is that the curry I like? I can smell it from here” you said, your excitement evident in your voice. 

“Yeah I did! But where exactly is ‘here’?…..I can’t see you.” You imagined his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and you chuckled to yourself at how adorable he was even when you couldn’t actually see him. 

“Down here baby,” you said, smiling at him when he finally turned the corner.

“Y/N, honestly I don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t this” he laughed, putting the takeout on the counter. You had been organizing and planning your upcoming wedding for weeks, and all of your binders and papers and notes had covered almost every surface of the place, so you decided to relocate to the kitchen floor. It really was a good spot: you could spread out everywhere and see everything, plus you were always within 1 or 2 steps away from food. 

“There’s more room down here?” you replied. Calum just shook his head and grabbed the food and two forks, and sat down right next to you. He took out one container and passed it to you along with a fork, and as you dug in he opened another container. “So,” he said with a mouthful of curry and rice, “what have you been working on all day?” 

As you explained your ideas for colour schemes, floral arrangements, cake constructions, guests list, and a whole array of other details, Calum sat and listened, giving you his full attention. Whenever he had an idea or a suggestion he would share it with you, and you would jot it down where you had space so you wouldn’t forget what he’d said. You spent the next 3 hours sat like that, sharing the takeout and sharing ideas for the wedding. Between bursts of planning he would share stories about his day, always making you laugh when he recounted the stupid things that the guys would do (and that he would also do). You had just gathered your breath after laughing at a particularly funny story that involved a naked Michael attacking Luke. The laughter had died down and you both lazily looked at each other, content smiles on both your faces. 

“You know, I really like this” you said softly, “Us working on something together, collaborating like a team. I’m really looking forward to spending the rest of my life like this.” Calum gave you a warm smile, making your heart melt just like it did when you first met. You saw so much love in his eyes and you knew you had chosen the right person to spend the rest of your days with. “I love you so much” he smiled, his eyes crinkling. “Sometimes I forget that you’re not my wife yet.” You placed a hand on his cheek and kissed him, tasting the spice of the curry he was just eating. He reciprocated, putting his hands around your waist and pulling you into his lap so you were straddling him. Making out with passionate kisses and wandering hands, you pulled away after a while to catch your breath. When you got a look at Calum his cheeks were slightly flushed and his lips were slightly swollen, his hair sticking in all different directions no thank to you. You imagined you looked the same but you smiled and sat between his legs facing him. “I love you” you whispered, totally content with being in this moment with him. “I love you more” he said softly, kissing you once more. 

Vegan Favorites:

Hey guys! So it’s almost 2 whole months since I’ve gone vegan and I wanted to share some of my favorite snacks and meals so far :) I’ve gotten a lot of questions, so here you go!

  • BANANA NICE CREAM. (my personal favorite is frozen bananas, vanilla extract, cinnamon, cacao/cocoa/carob powder, and chia seeds!)
  • GREEN SMOOTHIES!!! Specifically frozen bananas, spinach, chia seeds, coconut water (I love the chocolate Zico flavor), cacao/cocoa/carob powder, vanilla extract, cinnamon, etc :)
  • OATS!!!!! I call them my “banana bread oats.” They are made with: oats, mashed banana, vanilla almond milk, chia seeds, vanilla extract, cinnamon, and anything else your heart desires :)
  • MEDJOOL DATES. They’re just magical little mushies of caramel-like taste and happiness. Combine them with peanut butter and you’re set! I also highly recommend coconut-date rolls…life changing.
  • NUTRITIONAL YEAST. So good, tastes like grated cheese with a little more “zing.” It is a POWERHOUSE of nutrients, protein, and vitamins too! Combine nutritional yeast with…
  • CORN OR BROWN RICE OR QUINOA PASTA. With delicious tomato sauces<3 Doesn’t get better.
  • RAWNOLA. I use Loni Jane’s recipe: oats, Medjool dates, and coconut in a food process. Easy, delicious, amazing.
  • ROASTED POTATO WEDGES. I love using russet gold potatoes, cutting them into wedges, and including TONS of spices on them: turmeric, curry, paprika, rosemary, pepper, etc :)
  • SEEDS. More nutritious powerhouses…hemp seeds, chia, flax, etc :)
  • VEGA PROTEIN POWDER/NO COW BAR. These are great alternatives for protein powders with whey/casein and for bars like Quest bars!!! I love both of these brands :)
  • ROASTED VEGETABLES. If you aren’t one who particularly enjoys veggies, roast them in the oven with some coconut or olive oil, and toss them in your favorite spices!!!!
  • GUACAMOLE. Another powerhouse with great nutrients, vitamins, and healthy fats :)

FullyRaw Curry Noodles! If you like curry, you will LOVE this raw vegan recipe! It’s not only sweet, but also fresh in flavor, savor, richness, and nutrition! This delicious dish will have your taste buds bursting with excitement! Are you ready to spice up your life?!

Tips for Long-Term Food Storage When on EBT or When Future Income is Uncertain
  • Soup. It’s relatively easy to make a big vat of it using veggies on the cusp of spoilage (or for resurrecting already-spoiled onions, carrots, etc). I recommend freezing single meal-sized portions in plastic bags/freezer bags. That way you don’t have to thaw out the whole lot, which will inevitably lead to waste. Many soups can be made with canned ingredients: tomato sauce, beans, corn, broth (I recommend buying the sort that comes in a box because easier storage and less heavy for those who might have arthritis, etc), peanut butter (for Thai curry type soups), coconut milk, and so on. 
  • Flour. Homemade tortillas are basically flour + water + salt, fried up in fat. They make a delicious snack or a good vehicle to stretch out your meats and veggies. Very inexpensive, and doesn’t spoil. If you live somewhere prone to critters, I do recommend keeping it in a plastic bag or container. Experiment by mixing cornmeal and flour, too. 
  • Spices. Strongly-flavoured ones like ginger, garlic, etc go a long way as far as bringing new life to otherwise dull foods. They are great for bringing variety to dishes like fried potatoes, etc. Same goes with condiments. Having soy sauce, oyster sauce, mustard, honey, etc on hand will allow you to make a lot of different foods even if you only have a few base ingredients.
  • Canned/Boxed Milk Substitutes. Almond milk, soy milk, rice milk, hemp milk, etc are all sold in the dry-foods area and keep indefinitely, unlike cold dairy milk. 
  • Vegetables that keep for a long while are: carrots (even when they get soft, they are perfectly usable in soups and stir-frys), potatoes, onions, winter squash (butternut, spaghetti, etc). 
  • Canned biscuit dough is great and keeps for a very long time in the refrigerator (and lasts indefinitely in the freezer). Also, conventional wisdom  holds that they are good at least 3-4 weeks after the expiration date. They’re great for just eating as biscuits, obviously, but you can also use them as dough for pies and pasties. Pigs in a blanket, etc.
  • Oatmeal can easily be made savory or sweet. Buy the instant packs or the rolled kind or steel-cut, whichever you prefer. They are a great way to bulk up soups (similar to barley) or add texture too foods that are too soft. Obviously, it’s dry, so it keeps pretty much forever.
  • Cornmeal is cheap and stores forever. You can make grits (porridge) out of it by stirring it with water and salt and pepper (and cheese, etc)…or for a more sweet take, add honey and cinnamon and cardamom. (This is basically what polenta is). Cornmeal + water + flour makes great hoecakes, which you can have savory or sweet, and bulk up meals when you cannot afford fresh ingredients.

applebutterbomb  asked:

What are some of your favorite recipes/foods? Im trying to encourage myself to cook more but lack the motivation bc i usually just end up w plain rice

What to add to plain rice to make it FANCY AMAZING RICE:

  • red pepper, chili powder, tomato paste, red hot, salt, melt cheese on top
  • zucchini, onion, curry powder, salt
  • lentils, cumin, garlic, diced tomatoes, curry powder
  • peanut butter, soy sauce, brown sugar, green pepper, water chestnuts, chicken
  • green beans, red pepper, cooked ground beef, paprika, cayenne, garlic
  • cooked ground meat, paprika, cinnamon, chop a red pepper in half and fill with the rice, drizzle tomato sauce on top, bake
  • lentils, feta cheese, basil, rice vinegar, acorn squash, garlic, oregano
  • zucchini, lemon juice, oregano, thyme, sun dried tomatoes


Cooking is great but it does take effort, and I admit that there are many days when cooking DOES NOT HAPPEN. Learn what to keep on hand for fast cooking; things like red peppers, zucchini, vinegar, lots of spices like cumin, garlic, curry powder, onion, cinnamon, basil, oregano, and thyme! These are all really common spices. A lot of making food exciting is spicing it properly. I also make sure I always have chedder cheese, rice, lentils, dry pasta, peanut butter, and bread on hand.

For a quick energy boots, I recommend a piece of toast with peanut butter and honey on top. Sugar and protein and YUM.

Canned diced tomatoes are a life saver.

And like anything it take practice!

Good luck! I hope you cook AMAZING THINGS!

Baphomet: Don’t you dare kill this woman! She will haunt you forever!

Monk #1: What- what is this?

Satanic woman: That’s right! As a ghost, I will minorly inconvenience you until you go maddddd! Who keeps unplugging the laptop cord? Why is this cat video that you want to show someone not loading? It just loaded like a minute ago!

Monk #2: You’re Trivilia! You are the Satanic Witch that makes the mouths and the dialogue stop matching up on streaming shows and they never match up again! She has filled the spice rack with Italian seasoning - so many bottles of Italian seasoning! - when all you want is curry powder! She extorts your neighbors “Turn up the bass on this Nicki Minaj song!” when you sit down to work on your terrible novel!

Baphomet: That’s right. This woman will be a minor irritant in your life until the day you die!

Monk #1: We are doomed if we kill this woman!

Monk #2: Please be our best friend! I can’t take any more buffering issues when I watch Pokemon: Black & White!