curren$y-performance

8

If You Only Knew - Live From Houston (x)

I had the most incredible dream last night

I can’t even describe it. Partly because I’ve forgotten most of it and it’s still slipping away even as I write this… but also because it was mostly a good feeling more than coherent plot. Cuz you know, dream.

In the dream, I was watching an episode of supernatural with my entire family (in my childhood home, which was nice). I mean, like everyone. My husband, parents, siblings, and my sister’s husband and kids. And it’s so frustrating that I can’t describe this but I’m gonna try.

I know it must have been an old episode because I was wondering how I had never seen it. Also, it was back in the time period when Dean was always trying to bed the girl of the week. And anyway, the girl of the week was a transgender woman, which is incredible on its own by spn standards. But it wasn’t just that, because the entire theme of the episode was about understanding that transgender people are people too and that they deserve rights and I’m telling you, it was the most beautiful episode I have ever seen.

And then at the end, Dean and the woman have a total moment and start kissing and are maybe gonna have sex in the back of the impala but then they don’t, mostly because they realize that they reeeally wanna talk and they only have time for one or the other and it’s a really nice, good thing. So she wants to know things about monsters and then Dean starts asking her things about trans culture and there’s this whole part where they explain about slurs (and I remember thinking that this was them correcting the use of that slur last season and I was so proud of them although the episode in my mind actually would have aired before that maybe). But anyway then she explains that the slurs aren’t accurate anyway because she isn’t male and actually now that she mentions it, no part of her body is male anymore either and Dean’s just like “oh.” Which MeANs that he was gonna have sex with her when he thought she still had male genitalia and you guuuyyys that would be so beautifully above the whole performative masculinity thing and I was just floored.

And then, AND THEN, Cas comes out dressed as a woman. A WOMAN. Because this beautiful trans lady taught him that it’s okay and he realized he wanted it and it was the most beautiful and emotional moment in television history.

AND THEN. As tfw walks back to the car, Cas makes a joke to Dean about having sex with him in the backseat cuz he didn’t get to with the woman and Dean CONSIDERS IT and he doesn’t say yes but he does sort of gleefully say “that would really freak Sam out” and then they look at each other with this fire and then the episode ends.

And I just felt so happy? Because my whole conservative family had seen this beautiful thing and they were all sitting there with their mouths open and my six year old niece had been taught all about how transgender people deserve good things just like anybody else and I was so happy I wanted to cry

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