I’m not sure the world needed another Jily texting AU but I decided to make one anyways, so enjoy

Summary: James dropped his phone in the toilet, classic. It happens. After finding a new phone he tries to round up numbers and names to refresh his contacts. What he doesn’t expect is to receive a message from Lily Evans. What’s her motive? Who knows? Not James, not Peter, definitely not Sirius, but….maybe Remus. After all, texting is a tricky business…it’s never clear when things aren’t face to face.

Word Count: 2,250

Friday 9:02PM, James and Sirius

J: hey mate it’s prongs. finally got the new phone
S: lol about time..hey did you save the old shite one? we can have a memorial for it  😘
J: shut it you git. i only had that thing for a month. just text moony and pete for me and tell them to hurry up. i’ve already ordered pizza
S: i’ll be there in 10. remus’ll catch a ride from pete. i’m picking up ogden’s. paying now.
J: ok
J: wait…padfoot. heafiisdoj PADFOOT
S: ??
S: ok ok i’m coming relax

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I know The Lord of the Rings really well. Really, really well: the way I know ST:TOS episodes word for word. (Let that say about me what it may, depending on the listener.)

As a result, even a minor misquote will jump out at me. It did this morning, in this tweet.

FROWARD, please. It’s not a typo. RT @ttolkienprverbs: “I owe much to Éomer,” said Théoden. “Faithful heart may have forward tongue.”

— Diane Duane (@dduane)

November 6, 2014

…So here’s the first amusing thing: the account where I found this is almost certainly a lookalike / copycat account of the real Tolkien proverbs Twitter account, and somehow I wound up following the fake one, so the joke’s on me in that regard.

That said: another Twitterer added the response that the online OED didn’t have “froward” in its usage examples. Which is a shame, and exhibits one of the weaknesses of the online OED. (Besides not being able to browse it page by page in search of weird obscure antiquated words.)

Anyway, I have the two-volume photoreduced edition of the OED, and here’s what it says under “froward”, for those who were curious. (Please forgive me for not typing out the definitions tonight. I have a cold and my eyes are watering like crazy. I’ll do it tomorrow. Assuming I can breathe tomorrow.)

(Also, please excuse the slightly blurry images. I had to phonecam them. THe scanner was giving me trouble.)

…So there we go.