The reason ive been less active...trying to get me away from my abuser.

I guess Ill just get right into it. I need help. And as always in this crazy fucked up world the answer: money. Yes im in desperate need of money. I am 22, I am still living with my dad who for a majority of my life has controlled and mentally and physically abused me. If some of you may know, I have been in a relationship for more than a year and we decided we wanted to go off and you know, make a life together. Sounds easy, I mean hey, 22 im an adult i should be able to go off and do what I want…no. My dad HATES me interacting with the outside world. If I try to hang out with friends he tells me im betraying the family and im a “honkey” lover. If I try to pick up more days at work he comes into my job and watches me, making sure im actually at work. He yells at me, even locks me out of the house and says he “didnt know I left”, When I hang with my boyfriend he calls me a slut, he tells me He’s using me for money and sex (just gonna put it out there couples help couples and we have EQUALLY helped each other). Whenever I try and tell my dad my opinion on anything he tells me im just a dumbass woman. Im fat and undesirable and people only hang with me to use me. He gets in my face, threatens to beat me etc etc…Its gotten me to a point where EVERYDAY I am fighting suicidal tendencies…I have attempted suicide over 50 times in 2016. Everytime I thought about doing it I told myself…it can get better, I have to hold on. I confided in many people who have tried helping me, some buying my art and some giving me money. On my birthday my boyfriend and I decided we would live together on April 17th, we have not been able to find anywhere to live but we can do that later, the rent at his house is pretty high, he lives with his mom who curently doesnt have a job so most of the rent would fall on him and I. We decided to move out on this date cause the weather would be clear and he would have some money saved, right after taxes and all and he said April just feels like a time of new beginnings. He felt my dad would come around to the idea…I know he wouldnt and it would be violent, possibly. I havent told him yet. And he doesnt work so sneaking out of the house would be impossible…I guess ill mention the other problem I have. Medicine. I suffer from trigeminal neuralgia. The medicine has been stripping me dry of money seeing as they only give me two weeks worth of it and I do not have health insurance right now, the one i was on told me I was making’too much’ and they could not help me anymore. So I am fucking struggling for money, I had a goal to earn between $4000-8000 before April 17th…and trust me i know thats pushing it! But I am determined. I have an art shop that I will be uploading in a few days and if people want to donate at Id appreciate it. My co-worker gave me an idea to put my story out there and just see what happened, doesnt hurt to try im sure I fucked up this whole thing im writing this in the bathroom on my lunch break so im rushing….im desperate. I need to FINALLY live my life…If you took the time to read this I appreciate it…and If you would repost this, id appreicate it too. Even if you cant donate or buy my art, just wishing me luck means so much to me!! Thank you for reading loves…

(i was writing a headcanon for a request @cattymai (I believe) about scaredy cat MC that likes horror movies but those scare them, but I clicked somewhere and tumblr just. flat out deleted the request?? so if you requested that, sorry! I’ll be putting the hc here, sorry the ask itself isn’t present Q-Q)


  • lil yoosung here us also, a scaredy cat
  • he knows horror movies won’t let him sleep at all
  • but when his friends tease him about it he tries to act though and watch them
  • which ends up with him calling MC mid-movie so they can join in because this is too scary
  • which then causes him and MC to cuddle up in fear on the end of the couch with half-covered eyes and shaking
  • when the movie is over, Yoosung and MC are shaking and super afraid
  • going back home everyone looks super suspicious and MC is sure someone is following them
  •  (spoilers: nobody was following them)
  • Yoosung is equally as tense. he makes sure the door is locked three times and digs into his drawers to find an old nightlight
  • the night is spent sat in bed, eyes peeled open and screaming when one of them hears a creak or the wind howling
  • Yoosung promises to never watch a horror movie again, but MC knows that’s probably not going to be accomplished- not when MC just downloaded a new horror movie into their phone for tomorrow


  • she tries to take a more logical approach to the situation
  • she doesn’t get it. if MC is sacred easily why are they watching horror movies at eleven pm?
  • she always tries to disuade MC, but they always insist they’ll be fine don’t worry 
  • MC was Wrong
  • the movie ends, and Jaehee is already in bed reading a book, when MC rushes in and slams the door closed, then zooms into the covers and bundles up
  • ???
  • MC is dead scared. hugging her.
  • Jaehee usually sleeps with very little lights (usually only a small nightlight for MC or something), but agrees to leave her bedside lamp on for MC’s curent fears
  • MC doesn’t sleep and Jaehee can tell
  • she has a bit of trouble sleeping too because MC randomly tenses up and yelps through the night when they hear a noise
  • she’s really got to convince MC to stop watching those movies, somehow…


  • he doesn’t mean to be a meanie but…. scared MC is so cute…
  • when they moved in with him, he made sure to have a small source of light because they’d mentioned they were a bit…. wary of the dark
  • so when he sits down to watch a horror movie, he tells MC they don’t need to stay
  • they can go sleep, it’s late anyways, he doesn’t want to force the to watch it
  • but MC laughs it off and stays
  • … regret
  • Zen can’t help but find it adorable how MC screeches and then clings to him for dear life every time the movie jumpscares them
  • it’s…. so…. cute….
  • of course he promises MC that he’ll protect them!!
  • he decides to leave the lights on all night so MC has an easier time
  • he sleeps hugging MC. even if MC can’t sleep he’ll make sure they feel protected at least


  • as with Jaehee, he can’t fathom a reason why 
  •  why MC would watch movies that would leave them unable to sleep
  • he walks in on MC watching a Japanese horror movie on the large screen, huddled in blankets, and shaking
  • he turns of the TV
    • “Hey! I was watching that, Jumin!”
  • he raises an eyebrow because MC’s voice is trembling from the movie and also their hand is shaking as they point to him
    • “It’s not good to put your body through unnecessary stress, MC.”
  • MC then says they didn’t mean to do anything bad to themselves
  • it’s just
  • horror movies are so fun?
  • Jumin shrugs
    • “The horror movie industry has found a way to get money from people who wish to feel more excitement in their lives, getting them hooked on the feeling of helplessness and,”
  • he starts talking about that and MC realizes he’ll be talking for a long time
  • still, he does reassure MC
  • nothing can harm them in the penthouse
  • seriously, an assassin wouldn’t even make it past the front door in the first floor, don’t sweat it


  • both him and MC are watching a scary movie
  • MC is, of course, horrified by the end
  • Seven knows it’d be mean but…..
  • ….. he can’t resist teasing MC.
  • he adds in to the movie’s story with one of his weird, totally not made up stories
  • MC is Not Ok. this is creepy
  • in the end he does apologise and tells MC about all the special effects in the movie and how unlikely everything is
  • … monsters in movies are less scary when he shows a picture of the 3D model before it was properly shaded and textured
  • also, nothing could get past him! he’s defender of justice 707! 
  • since he knows very well MC is not going to sleep without nightmares, he offers a marathon of MC’s favourite (preferably non-horror) series to pass the night
Erik Lehnsherr x reader

Originally posted by cool-life-as-caroline

I’m on a roll lately with these! Anyways, this was requested by a friend from class so here ya go you know who you are you 😉

As always, unedited cuz I’m lazy

This is happening in Poland (it was pretty easy for me to write since I am polish) so it’s really up to you if you want to include Nina as Y/N’s and Erik’s child in the future or just make her not happen at all.

No warnings needed other than a little mention of smut.


You noticed a man, probably around your age walking around the shop. He had brown-ish hair and a nice stubble. His eyes were blue. You never seen him before, which was a new feeling for you. You knew pretty much anyone in Pruszków since it was such a small village. You did hear that a misterious ‘someone’ was to arrive here from America but you didn’t expect them to be here so fast. You did feel a bit nosy but it was hard not to hear something when everybody was talking about this one topic for the last week.

Keep reading

Dear Remus' Journal,

Sirius here once again. It’s been a long time asn’t it? Last time I wrote in here, Teddy wasn’t even home yet. I’m curently sitting in bed still wearing my pyjamas. You’re next to me my love. You’re sleeping peacefully with our son in your arms. Merlin I could watch you two all day long. After the full moon, you passed out. Probably from the pain and the lack of sleep. I healed you in the forest. You weren’t as hurt as last time so I got to do it all in the next minutes after your transformation. My healing powers are getting stronger. I wrapped your bare body into a blanket and took you in my arms, laying you on the backseat of the car. I sat next to you, brushing my hand in your messy and sweaty curls. “Wake up my love.” I whispered in your ear, leaving light kisses on your cheeks. After a few minutes you woke up, still feeling a but dizzy.

“Is it over?” You asked, your bottom lip shaking.

“Yes my love, it’s over.. We’re going home.” I said, letting you rest as I sat in the driver’s seat, making our way home.

I carried you to bed, making sure not to hurt you. Our movements woke Teddy up and when you saw him, you couldn’t hold back the tears. I picked him up and layed him beside you. He was so happy to see you.

“Dadda..” he said, falling asleep in your arms.

“I’m here Teddy. Dadda’s home.” You smiled through the pain.

“Have I missed a spot?” I asked, wondering if there was still a cut making you suffer.

“No.. But my muscles are killing me.” You said.

“I wish I could help with those..” i looked down.

“Pads you’ve already done so much..” you said, your voice ressuring me.

“Is there something else I can do?” I asked.

“Lay down and cuddle us.” You smiled.

“Okay..” I smiled too, laying down in the soft sheets.

I hugged your back and tangled my legs with yours. I didn’t get to be the big spoon quite often! You were holding Teddy, who was already asleep, in your arms.

“Thank you Sirius.” You whispered.

“No need to thank me my love. I love you.” I whispered back.

“I love you to Sirius, so much..”

May 1st 1978

Whiskey, champagne and a leather jacket

The bell chimed, signaling that someone just had walked in. The first thing her eyes saw was a well worn leather jacket hanging on a plush chair. Her heartrate sped up, still after all this time and remembered the way her mind had betrayed her heart. How she had left everything, no, everyone behind.

Her whiskeycolured eyes continued to travel around the store, scanning the dark brown shelves filled with a countless amount of books, landing on a man with curly light hair who was standing between the narrow shelves. He wore a jumper with a shirt underneath, you could just see the navy blue collar sticking up. His sleeves were rolled up so he could easier move. His arms were filled to the brim with books, mostly old ones with tattered covers and dusty titles. He had yet to notice her standing there, watching him as he stretched onto his toes to put a book back in its place. The woman walked forward, ready with an excuse me on her tongue to breeze past him and further into the bookstore to delve into its hidden treasures. Her shoes clicked sligthly against the wooden floors as she started to near him, drawing his attention.

He raised his eyes, took one look at her, and as his eyes turned golden, he dropped the book he was curently holding with a smack. The woman realised just then, that in this mundane bookstore was someone like her, someone belonging to the world of magic. Everything she had so suddenly left came back. Just because his lovely bluegreen eyes had turned gold. A champagne gold. 

His lips curled just the tiny bit and said “I know someone that would like to meet you”. And as in a practiced motion some soft laughs left her mouth and said, “Why do I have the feeling that this has something to do with that leather jacket?” as she made an inclining nod to the corner with the chair, making her curls bounce and his still golden eyes twinkle. “Well, maybe because you are after all, the brightest witch of your age.” A breath left her, one she hadn´t even realized she had hold. She felt waves of relief wash over her, just beacause he recognized her. 

The woman looked up into his eyes and gave the man a brilliant smile, and realized that maybe she was ready to come back, to once more embrace everything she had left.



(Together they were a duo of whiskey and champange and became a trio when she met the silvereyed owner of the leather jacket.)


So this is just something I wrote, and to be honest it is like my first one. I would love to hear someones thoughts on this.

I don´t know if it´s okay if I tag any of you in this, but if you have the time I would be really thankful for some feedback @ash-castle @ashenrenee @shayalonnie @mechengmama @littleneko1923 @colubrina @captain-kittenwolf17 @mrsmarauders @ladiefury @calebski @canimallow @brightki @indiebluecrown @disillusionist9 @dreadpiratemary


The Memorable Dance - Remus Lupin x Reader

It was an early Saturday morning and Gryffindors were having their Quidditch practise. (Y/N), the team’s beater, was curently daydreaming in the middle of the practise. She just hoped that James won’t figure it out and yell at her.
The bludger was flying towards her and everyone shouted at her to hit it. But, (Y/N) just heard a beautiful melody of waltz in her head. She wasn’t thinking about anything else, except the melody that was occuping her mind. She didn’t hear panicking shouts of James, Sirius and her other teammates. Her vision started to blur. 

The time and place looked like they changed. The Quidditch pitch became the big, elegantly looking hall.
When (Y/N) looked in a mirror, she couldn’t regnorize herself. She was wearing long, purple ball dress and matching gloves to the elbows. Her (h/c) was in a perfect bun from which were falling curls.

She was still slightly confused and decided to sit in the corner of the room. Only then she started paying attention to her surroudnings. On one end were musicians, while the middle of the Hall was filled with boys and girls who danced to the rhythm of the music. Everyone were harmonized. 

To her surprise, (Y/N) noticed that Lily and James danced together. Sirius was dancing with one blonde girl from Hufflepuff and even Peter had a partner! Remus was nowhere to be seen thought.

When the last notes of the waltz were played, dancers bowed one to another and withdrew from the floor. The musicians started playing the new melody. Some new dancers came forward. In one corner stood some excited girls who waited for the dance invite. The excitment on their faces was so obvious and (Y/N) concluded that it was their first dance. Obviously, Sirius came and took one of them to the dance floor. Just when Sirius and the girls left, someone caught (Y/N)’s sight. The boy turned around and caught  (Y/N)’s look.

It was Remus. He was dressed in a very nice black suit with matching tie and white shirt under it. Remus stretched out his hand for the (brunette, blonde etc.) girl to take.

“May I have this dance m’lady?” He asked and bowed a little. (Y/N) tried to say something but nothing came out of her mouth. The boy on who she had the crush for a very long time now was asking her for a dance? 

“I…uh…” She was completely out of the words. Now she regreted that she rejected her mother when she wanted to sign her for a dance class. (Y/N) knew that there will be a day she needed to know the steps but…

“Yes.” She said a little insecure. She putted her hand on Remus’s one. Even through the gloves she fet the warmth of his hand.

They stepped up on the dance floor. He putted his hand around her waist, while holding her hand with his other one and they started to dance. (Y/N) felt how her legs moved surprisingly easy and fast under his lead. Just like she took dance classes her whole life. She felt flurry of adrenaline and her steps became more freely and refined. (Y/N) noticed the gaze of his chocolate brown eyes on her. Remus had a big smile on his face, showing his perfect white teeth. She was looking into his eyes for too long and literally lost herself in them. (Y/N) stopped following the music and the steps. In that moment for her there just existed his brown eyes.

Suddenly, there was a loud noise that roused her from looking into his eyes. That was a loud applause sent to her and Remus. (Y/N) looked around not knowing why they deserved that loud applause.

“That moves were very stunning (Y/N)” Remus had a big smile on his face. “You left everyone speechless. I didn’t know you could dance that well. Your parents signed your for the best dance lessons then.”

“Dance lessons?” The (brunette, blonde etc.) asked him slighty confused.

“Yes.You couldn’t learn all those steps by yourself in a big royal hall like this.”

“Royal hall?” (Y/N) asked now even more confused. Now Remus looked at her surprised. He was acting strange for sure.

“It is impossible that you’re here for the first time?!” He furrowed his eybrows.

“I…uh…Excuse me for a second.”She left him and walked through the nearest door. (Y/N) found herself n a big balcony. The air was soothing fresh. That coldness was very needed for her to clear her mind. On the large clock on the tower the midnight was coming. Light waltz started playing again and (Y/N) felt hot air on the side of her neck. She turned around and saw Remus standing right behind her.

“Can I ask you for another dance?” This time (Y/N) didn’t think. They started to dance lightly, just the two of them, moonlight and the sky full of stars.

“Can I ask why you left?” Remus asked hugging her more tighly around her waist.

“Some thing need to stay a secret right?” She smiled.

The loud ‘dong’ was heard from the clock. It was midnight and (Y/N) felt strong pain in her head. While it resorounded in her head she heard loud shout again. The bludger hitted her right in the head.

Above her stood James, Sirius and most important person - Remus. James was shaking his head at her clymsiness and Sirius showed his smirk afte (Y/N) opened her eyes. Remus was however, looking like someone died. When he saw you open your eyes, he lifted you up and pulled you in for a kiss. Your face gone literally crimson red and you heard few wolfwhistles.

“Yeah get some Moony!”

“Those bloody idiots”

Dear Journal,

This morning Regulus went to eat at our table. When he sat down next to Sophie, they both blushed. They are so cute. They haven’t asked eachother on a date yet but they are definetly waiting for the other to make a move! When the girls were done, they all went outside, leaving the boys behind.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Sirius asked Regulus.

“What do you mean?” Reg reaponded.

“Sophie is only waiting for you to ask her out Merlin! You’re so cluless sometimes Reggie!” He laughed.

“But are you sure she likes me back?”

“I heard that she does..” I smirked.

“Ugh.. this is so hard! I wish I were a brave Gryffindor like you guys..” Regulus said looking down.

“Hey it’s hard for us too! It took me years to finally kiss Remus!” Sirius laughed.

“It did!” I laughed too.

“Now come on! Go ask her!” Sirius said, standing up.

“But what about Mother? If she finds out i’m not dating the girl I’m supose to marry… Plus she’s a muggleborn Gryffindor! She would be so mad!” He said, fear in his eyes.

“Hey.. She won’t find out.. and If she does, I will protect you okay?” He said, both of his hands on his little brothers shoulders.

“I really like her Sirius..” he said.

“I know.. You go get the girl now!” He said tapping his shoulder.

Regulus walked outside and went straight up for the girls. He took Sophie aside and asked her. We were to far to hear anything, but once she jumped in his arms, we knew it worked. Sirius was smilling at his little brothers happiness. When Reg came back, Sirius ruffled up his hair.

“I knew you could do it Reg.”

“Thank you Sirius. I missed you the past years.. I’m glad we made up!” He said hugging him.

Sirius was suprised. He never gets hugs from anyone except me. He slowly layed his arms around his little brothers figure. I smiled to myslef. They were happy after all.

We spent the rest of the day at the library, studying and writting our essays. We were sitting on a small table in a silent corner of the library. I was curently reading my potions notes and i felt Sirius’ hand lay down on the small of my back.

“I’m trying to concentrate love… You’re not helping..” i smiled.

“We’ve been here for two hours! I can’t resist you longer than that!” He giggled.

“Let me finish this page first okay love?”

“Hurry up…”

I tried to continue my reading. I “tried”. Sirius was leaving kisses on my neck. It sent shivers through my spine and i gave up. I closed the book and took his cheeks in my hands. I crashed my lips against his and his hands found their way to my clothed chest. My eyes were shut tight as our lips touched. Every kiss was like the first one. Magical. Perfect. We kissed but got interupted by a first year boy. When i saw him, i pushed Sirius away from me and smiled to the little boy.

“Hum sorry..” he whispered looking down.

“Don’t be sorry mate, we were the ones kissing in the library!” Sirius giggled.

“Hum.. are you Remus?” He asked me.

“Yes. Do you need anything?”

“Hum.. the librarian told me you could help me find this book..” he said, handing me a small piece of paper.

“Sure! Come with me..” I left with the small boy and guided him to the section he was looking for.

“What’s your name?” I asked him, bending my neck to look at his small figure.

“Johnny!” He said smilling to me.

“You like books Johnny?” I asked him while searching for the book he wanted.

“I do. People tell me i should stop reading all the time..” he said, his smile fading away.

I bent my knees so I could be as short as him.

“Don’t. You do what you like okay? You are the only one who can choose. I like books too! And if you want me to talk to those mean people, i will!” I said, smilling to him.

I brang back his smile and he thanked me. I grabbed his book and handed him, telling him it was a good one.

“Was that your boyfriend? The boy with you?” He asked, blushing and playing with his small hands.

“Yes, he is.”

“Do you love him?”

“I do. A lot.”

“Do people bully you about it?” He asked frowning.

“Why do you want to know?” I asked, putting my hand on his shoulder.

“Do you think I would get bullied if I liked boys?”

“Do you like boys?”

“..yes…I think..” he said, looking down.

“Hey, you can love boys if you want.. you just have to be confident. Don’t listen to other people okay?” I said, smilling to him.

“Okay.. thank you Remus..” he smilled.

“You can come to me anytime okay? If you do what you want, you’ll be happy! Also if you want me to recommend you some books i will be more than happy to do so!”

“Okay!” He smiled.

“Enjoy your book!”

“I will!” He left with a big smile on his face.

I stood up and saw Sirius leaning on a near by bookshelf. He was smilling with his hands in his trousers pockets. When Johnny was long gone, he walked up to me and softly kissed my lips.

“That was really cute Re..” he said.

“You saw all of it?”

“Yes.. you will make a great dad that’s for sure..”

“You will too. You were great with Regulus this morning..” I said, smilling.

“I love you.” He said.

“I love you too.”

Feburary 16th 1976

I’m a bit late with this but still here it is ^^

My name is Nadja and I come from a small contry called Slovenia.
I am 18 years old and am curently in last year of high school and hoping to get accepted to art faculty. I started this blog to get a grip on my grades, improve my productivity and I need to find myself some motivation.

Some facts about me:
I like drawing and art
I enjoy learning new languages and getting to know new culture
I’m trying to selfstudy Korean but curently don’t have time for it
• Tea over coffee
• Hufflepuff is where I belong to
• I’m a gemini (pls don’t hate me)

Blogs that inspired me:
@studylustre || @thestudyingdinosaur || @emmastudies || @rhubarbstudies || @studyquill || @stillstudies || @studyafterschool || @zeestudies || @studyblr

It’s nice to meet you all and have a great day/night~ 


05.15.17 week 5. goodness, finals week is rough but i somehow made it all the way to 4/5. so, so close to summer! thank goodness for this week’s universe inspired spread and coffee otherwise think id have been even more of a mess. hope everyone else’s week has been going good!

p.s. curently listening to: all of Harry Styles’ new album on repeat for hours. (i thought i was done with 1D after like 8th grade but i don’t think i’ll ever get over this album, what a turn around)

About #savekizana

Firstly, let me explain the reasons why I started all of this. 
I’m not doing it to offend YandereDev or his work, because I truly respect it. I do not support YS haters. 
I’m doing it because I care about this character. Ever since The Rival Introduction came out, I fell in love with Kizana Sunobu deeply. The reasons why I do love her so much are way above to tell, and this post is not about it. 

So let me get this straight. Why do I want her old design back? 

Well, the most predictable reason is the color scheme. I have a strong feel of color, so I know what I’m saying - these colors are beautiful. The tones are amazingly pleasant and calm, and they fit together. The artist used different colors - silver and watermelon-ish pink. It’s much better than using tones of one single color, like it is in new one. Plus, silver fits Kizana’s personality much more. I see her as a workaholic pedant, who needs everything to be perfect, and silver, a tone of white, is a perfect desire for a character like this. She looks neat and tidy. Speaking of the design itself, I think jabot fits way better than a choker with rose. Not only because it makes Kizana fancy, but because jabot is an accessory of the drama club. She’s a president of it, why should she make an exception for herself? 

I also have to mention that silvery white hair and reddish eyes makes her look like an albino. It would make a great concept! If she would be a real albino, it would turn Kizana to really interesting and unique character, because this disease would create tons of problems for an actress, and would show her as a determinative, tough girl, who will follow her dreams no matter what. It would also create some sad moments about her, since I’m sure people would make laugh of her appearence. 

The thing is, she doesn’t even have to be the REAL albino. People would make jokes anyway. 

I also need to refer to the resemblance of new Kizana to Kokona. I’m SICK of hearing stupid stuff like “Kokona wannabe”, “Kokona number 2″, “She’s Kokona anyways” (especially the last one, because it’s OBVIOUSLY clear they are NOT the same person). I was meh to Kokona, I started to like her when her full storyline came out, but NOW I HATE HER WITH ALL MY SOUL! I just can’t stand her idiotic fans protecting her from nothing. It is pretty clear Kizana DOES NOT replace your precious Kokona, but you STILL CONTINUE to hate Kizana for nothing! I’m sure - if the old design would stay, such people would turn to zero, or at least, close to it. 

But what about Megami? - you’d ask. 
This problem is not a big deal. Megami had black hair and white stockings from the start. Personally, I like this version of her more, since black hair was making her mysterious and frightening. She is the final and the most hard rival, so these characteristics would fit her perfectly. 

In the end, I’d like to say that I’m not trying to offend anyone. I’m not forcing anyone to take part in #savekizana. All of the art people provide is made by their own choise - they support me. I’m not trying to start a civil war or anything like this. If YandereDev doesn’t want to change this character, even if people prefer her old design - it’s fine. This is his game and his choise. I’m not going to write any hate posts about him if he keeps the curent design (tho I’ll be very depressed to be honest). 

I just care about this character and its destiny.