Just a Cup of Chai

Everyone has their secrets. Even I have one. Our secrets are within us, shielded from the prying and the curious. In all honesty, the inquisitive will never know the whole story. They’ve drawn their own conclusions from the scattered bits and pieces they’ve collected, but I guess that’s all it would take. The portions could come together like the ingredients in a recipe. Some of these recipes have been lost forever.
Unfortunately, If I don’t talk about mine, it sinks deep. The sweeter parts of the story fall to the bottom of the mug. After that, all I can feel is the bitterness that is left on the surface. The naive will look over the rim, and to them it appears transparent; they would see water as being water. Sitting at the shinny black bottom, under it all, is the important part. The part only you and I can see. A history composed of spices and enriched with flavors: honey when I know he loves me too; cinnamon when he’s sharp with me; vanilla when we’re comfortable; raspberry or mango when we’re flirty; peppermint when he’s gone; nutmeg when we both know.
It’s a cup of chai tea. In reality, it’s much more than that. A sinful indulgence. A sedated tension. An unforgiving secret. Yet still, a cup of chai. This particular cup has been made of much more than simply tea leaves and water. Beyond that, my cup has tasted ginger, milk, cinnamon, cloves, cardamon, vanilla, nutmeg, peppermint, mango, honey, tears, giggles, dreams, Oregon rain drops, early summer mornings, and cold winter nights. Good friends and placid solitude. Countless hours awake at night. Moments of utter bliss, and moments where the heart is on the verge of shattering, but it’s held together by some caramel dissolved in the hot water that’s been running through my veins and mending the cracks. Over time ingredients have been added, substituted, and omitted. No cup of chai is quite like last. To no dismay, each trial and error has contributed to the next. Now we know not to add too much of one, or too little of another.
Take a single sip of a good cup of chai, and it can make you drop your fears and run from all the things that make you miserable. Hold the mug close to your heart, and the heat will make you feel complete again. Breathe in deep, and let the spices bite at your lost memories. Find your cup of chai, and get lost. Lose your secrets while your gone. My secret is this. He is my cup of chai.