cupcake joke

Overwatch Pachimari Cupcakes


Yields 1 dozen

The things you’ll need

Ingredients
  • 2 small turnips
  • ½ medium onion
  • ½ cup plus 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
  • ¼ cup brown sugar
  • ¾ cup sugar
  • 2 tablespoons honey
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 ½ cups cake flour
  • ¾ teaspoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • ¼ teaspoon sea salt
  • Green buttercream frosting stiffened with powdered sugar
  • White buttercream frosting
  • White candy melts
  • Black, dark pink, and light pink royal icing
Equipment
  • Large mixing bowl
  • Rubber spatula
  • Hand mixer with attachments
  • Whisk
  • Cookie sheet lined with parchment paper
  • Large sauté pan
  • Mini cupcake pans
  • Cupcake liners
  • Cookie scoop
  • Piping bags
  • Three #1 tips, #12 tip
  • Small offset spatula

Let’s get started!

  1. Preheat oven to 400°F.
  2. Peel and cut turnips into small chunks and then toss with 2 tablespoon of oil. Roast at 400ºF for 30-40 minutes or until soft.
  3. Thinly slice the onions and then sauté them with 2 tablespoons of butter and brown sugar over medium heat. Cook for 30 minutes, or until onions are golden brown and soft.
  4. When the onions and turnips are ready, puree them in a food processor with the remaining oil and honey until smooth.
  5. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, cinnamon and sea salt.
  6. In a large bowl, beat the remaining butter and sugar until fluffy and smooth.
  7. Add eggs, one at a time, mixing well between each egg and scraping down the sides.
  8. Pour in honey and the vegetable puree and beat until smooth.
  9. Add the flour mixture and stir in by hand until well combined.
  10. Place batter into cupcake liners and bake at 350ºF for 20-22 minutes or a cake tester comes out clean.

Time to decorate!

  1. Tape a piece of wax paper onto a cutting board. Pipe a dollop of white candy melt onto the paper and then tap the cutting board on a counter to smooth out the melt until it is circular. Repeat for desired amount of pachimari faces.
  2. Use a #1 tip to pipe two dots (for eyes) in black black royal icing onto each white circle.
  3. Pipe a black outline of each pachimari mouth and then fill it in with dark pink royal icing using a #1 tip.
  4. Use light pink royal icing and a #1 tip to pipe two cheeks onto each face.
  5. Use a #12 tip to pipe green buttercream frosting onto each cupcake and then pipe 4 tenticles around the edges.
  6. Use white buttercream frosting to pipe a turnip shaped dollop onto the top of each cupcake and then place a face on each one.
  7. TaDa! A deliciously unique recipe to share with your gamer friends!

If this trainwreck of a show ends without Regina Mills having a well-deserved happy ending and one of those pure smiles we see ever so rarely from her I’m going to have to hunt Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis down

Originally posted by tinysameenshaw

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Companions (+ Maxson, Sturges, Glory,  Des and Magnolia) react to being in a relationship with Sole for a small while and Sole being a shaking nervous wreck the first time the companions approach them with the idea of sex. - slightly nsfw-

Hi anon, thank you for the request! First of all; this was a hard one for me (especially also looking for suitable gifs) but I’m personally really pleased with the result, hope you like it too! :) Enjoy!

Intro:

Sole had made excuses for a while now whenever the kissing got a bit too intense. Walking away, having to check up on something or someone until they realised this was getting ridiculous. They had to explain it sometime, they’d notice and think they didn’t want them. Or didn’t want to have sex and that wasn’t entirely true either. The first time they really got approached with the idea of sex though, Sole collected their courage to start talking. But nothing came out as smoothly as planned. “ I… I don’t know if I can do ‘this’ yet. I mean I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t really enjoy it that much anyway because I’m just not that good at it. And I… I don’t know how to even make it good to you or how it works, I mean, I know how it works but I don’t know how to… ya know. Make it ‘work’ and… and… what if I don’t do this right and you realise that’ s a problem or…”

Danse: (includes spoiler beyond the post blind betrayal storyline - edited! I got inspired to tweak this one so I did, hence why it’s a bit longer now.

He sat Sole down and sat down next to them. Looking them straight in the eye with a look of pure love in his eyes. “ I understand. You aren’t feeling comfortable with this.  If you aren’t ready then… I won’t do anything until you ask me.” Sole chuckled, as if they’d ever have the guts to just walk up to him and go ‘Hey, let’s have sex’. And they knew Danse wouldn’t just take a hint. Hell, even if he picked up on it he wouldn’t do anything until they specifically told him.  "Don’t make me ask you. I mean… I’m ready. Just nervous. It’s just.. I don’t know if I’ll do this right.” “  In the unlikely circumstance this wouldn’t go well, I still wouldn’t leave you. You’ve always seen me as a man instead of a machine. I truly do respect you greatly. I only feel pride over getting the chance to live with you by my side. I never will break your trust. Being with you made me realise I never want to be without you again, and if I lost you I wouldn’t know what I’d do.” Sole always got caught off guard when Danse had another declaration of love for them. He had been so guarded, so closed off to them at first. They still felt honoured that Danse trusted them enough to let those walls come down. Sole kissed Danse passionately on the lips, realising that he’d always be there for them. That he wouldn’t lie, that his loyalty had been proven to know no bounds. He backed away, visibly forcing himself to do so. “Are are you sure about this?”   Sole nodded and tried to kiss him again, he leaned backwards. “ I want you to know… that I would never hurt you. So when you want me to stop just tell me and I will stop.” “ I know. Will you now kiss me again or…?” “My pleasure Sentinel.” Danse picked them up as if they were a feather and while kissing walked them to the bed in his arms, putting Sole on the bed in a surprisingly gentle manner and started to kiss their neck. Sole’s worries melted away as they let Danse take the lead.


Deacon: 

Deacon insists that they can just build it up. “ Woah calm down Sole. There are several fun things to do in bed or half-naked that don’t involve sex after all.” He winked at Sole as he showed them what he meant by that. Sole stumbling over their words was his queue to lighten the mood. He didn’t really know what to say after what Sole said anyway. Sole appreciated that he took of the pressure. After ending up on the bed anyway, laughing their asses off Sole looked him and got closer to him, carefully kissing Deacon. He took the hint from there.


Hancock : 

“ I must be real pretty having you at loss for words like that sweetheart.” Sole glared at him angrily. “ Hey Hancock, I know damn well that you’ve got A LOT of experience with this but I don’t appreciate you mocking me.” “It was just a joke, cupcake. We can take it slow.” Sole looked at him and inquisitively, wondering what exactly he meant with that. “Oh, I don’t mean like that love. Hancock got up and took a bottle of his best booze. “ I doubt getting me drunk is a good idea.” “ Hey, I would never have sex with someone who can’t say no. We…” He poured the drink into two glasses. “are going to just hang around tonight. Have I told you ‘bout that time I pretended Deacon was arrested because he wasn’t allowed to wear a dress? Nonsense of course, I don’t give a rat’s ass on what who is wearing.” “Hancock. Are you dodging the subject now?” “I wouldn’t dare. Look, I don’t want you to feel presured into anything, beautiful. Sooo I’m going to make sure you trust me and after a while we can go from there.” “ Hey but I am ready.” “Not ready enough. Now I appreciate my audience shutting up when I’m speaking so do you mind?” “Nope, but can you do this shirtless?” 


MacCready : 

He is a bit caught off guard when Sole implies she doesn’t really want to have sex with him. He wondered if he  got the timing wrong or if they secretly just were still thinking too much of their spouse. Or if they just weren’t that physically attracted to him. Wait, was he going too fast? Should he be feeling guilty now cause of Lucy? Is he forgetting her too easily? Fu.. hm. “ Oh, ehm, I’ll ask later. Or never. Yeah, I’m good with never.” Great, now they both were nervous wrecks about this, Sole thought. “No, no. It’s not that I don’t want to ehm… ya know. But I don’t want to do something wrong.” “Is it really though? Cause you can tell me if it’s something I’m doing wrong. I’d do anything for you… I mean if you just don’t want sex I can deal with that I think.” “Oh, so you don’t want me?” “No! No, you’re gorgeous and I’d love to… ” Sole kissed him to shut him up, actually feeling better about this because he seemed nervous too. The tension in his shoulders and face dissapeared. “ Let’s just… give it a try?” MacCready nodded and let himself get led to the bed by Sole. 

Maxson: (ignore intro for this one)

Sole didn’t get the chance to even explain anything to Maxson because he immediately picked up on it that they were trying to avoid the topic. He also had been pretty damn direct in suggesting they’d celebrate that victory in his bed. ‘Not the one for nuance’ Sole whispered under their breath. Sole came up with an excuse. He asked them directly for the real reason why they were trying to leave, reminding them that they rarely stuck to protocol and didn’t usually clean their power armor. “Yes, but why really? And don’t say it’s because you’re scared of me because you’re not.” Sole looked away, trying to come up with a way to bring this kind of news to the ridiculously self-confident leader of the Brotherhood of Steel. “I… I just don’t want to screw this up, okay? I’m pretty sure I… I won’t even be uhm good at this and…” Maxson raised an eyebrow. He had never seen Sole like this before, at a loss for words and confidence.     “ That’s fine. We don’t have to do this now.” Sole sighed. “Yes, we can, I can.” “ Let me say that more clearly Sentinel. We’re not doing this until you are ready. Don’t lose yourself because of me. Because of what I want.” Sole got annoyed by that last sentence and grabbed his wrist. There were the words again.“ First of all, I won’t. Second of all, don’t call me Sentinel when you just pretty much asked me if I want to fuck you and third I am ready. Just worried you’re going to look for someone better if I screw up.” “You couldn’t ruin this if you tried. Besides, I usually…” He walked up very, very close to her and whispered the last part. “take charge, Sole.”


Nick Valentine: 

“I suppose some things are worth the wait.” Nick kisses their forehead and immediately backs off for a while, insisting that they won’t do anything until it’s Sole who initiates it. Even when Sole says they are ready but worried he refuses. It doesn’t take long before this starts to get on Sole’s nerves. He doesn’t kiss them as intensely as he used to, is careful not to accidentally imply he wants to do something because he doesn’t want to influence Sole too much. Eventually Sole walks up to him again and tells him point blank that they were ready and are ready and that he really has to stop holding back like that. He smiles; “Okay sweetheart.” That was his queue, Sole walking up to him. That was the only way he could know for sure they weren’t doing this just for his sake. 


Preston:  

“Wait, you think you’re gonna be bad at this? We’re still talking about the general of the minutemen protecting those in need aren’t we? “ “I’m serious Preston. I really don’t think I’ll be good at this.” He smiled. “Keep telling yourself that, babe.“ “Fine, but hypothetically if  I would be bad at it what does that mean for us?” “That we’ll try again and both get better at it? Besides, if you’re not ready for actually having sex there are other things I can do for you if you want.” Sole turned bright red. “OKAY, I think there’s a settlem…” “There isn’t. Not right now. Look, we can try this and if it at any point feels wrong to you we’ll stop. Don’t forget that I love you. I’m not gonna leave you over something like this, babe. “ Sole ended up taking him up on his offer and didn’t have any regrets over it.


Sturges: 

Sturges decides that Sole has to be able to properly talk about it before they can even start doing anything, thinking that it’ll just get uncomfortable otherwise. Last thing he wants is Sole to have bad memories of their first time together. So, he just slowly but steadily gets them increasingly more sexually frustrated by being a total gentleman. He walks them to their quarters at night, keeps his hands to himself but also makes sure that sexual tension builds. He develops the tendency of talking to Sole from up close, making them think he’s going to kiss them or take charge but instead says ‘good night’ and leaves them. Up to the point Sole goes ‘fuck it’, runs up to Sturges, makes sure he can’t back away. “Not nervous anymore?” he grins. “Just.. shut up and let’s do this.” “As you wish.” 

X6-88: 

“The prospect of intercourse seems to make you nervous indeed. I’m guessing that’s not a good sign. May I ask what the reason for your concern may be? ”  “It’s not you, it’s …” “me?” “Nono, not you. It’s me being nervous.” “That is what I meant.” Sole sighed. Words, where to find them and more importantly how the hell did they forget how to form sentences with them. “ May I point out to you that I am bound to you as I was given the assignment to protect you? I cannot leave you.” “Wow X6, that’s such a nice thing to say. “ “I was merely stating the facts. Regardless of how well this goes, I won’t leave you.” Sole rolled their eyes. “Do you even really care about this?” “We have had this conversation before.  I have indeed developed unknown feelings towards you which you would most likely define as love.” “Why do you want this?” “Because it feels like a logical next step in our relationship. It feels right. Are you trying to say it doesn’t to you?” “No, it does it’s just… “ “May I point out to you that this will be the first time I try this?” “Good point.” “You have no more reason to be nervous than me. However I can ensure you that I am confident we will manage to succeed at this without difficulties. But this is something I wish to explore with you.” “Yeah… I guess I do too.” “That sounds like you’re not convinced.” Sole kissed him. “ I do too. “

Synth!Codsworth:

Codsworth knew a thing or two about the relationship between Sole and their spouse but had not clue of what happened in their bedroom. After all, he was meant to be discrete and respect the intimacy between his masters. He however did notice that although were happy together, they weren’t really all that physical. Truth be told, this new body ensured he felt some sort of desire  but he was quite nervous himself. Not knowing what to expect, what to do… He ensured Sole that it was ok, and that he’d wait for them to be ready. He even admitted that he was feeling quite unsettled over the idea as well. After all it meant things were bound to get complicated afer intercourse. He was about to leave when Sole asked him to stay, that were ready but they just had to take it easy. Codsworth ensured them they’d figure it out together and told them to say when things were going too fast and that they could stop at any point.


Cait: 

The first thing that crossed Cait’s mind after hearing Sole stumble over their words like that was the sheer irony of the situation. She started laughing, until she saw how hurt Sole looked. ‘Nonono, I’m not laughin’ at ya. It’s just funny how we’re afraid of different things. I mean, sex is the easy part. It’s giving your heart to somebody that’s the scary part.” “To me it’s the opposite.” “Are you serious luv? How often have ya told someone you luved ‘em then? Should I start watchin’ my back?” “No, I didn’t mean that.”  Cait shook her head. “I’ve always heard it’s best with someone you love tho.” “No pressure.” “No. You never pressured me, I wouldn’t pressure you either. And hey, I can guide ya around the curves if ya want.” “Cait I…” “Think too much? Look, even if you’re crap at it we can practice as much as you’d like.” She winked. Sole felt blood streaming to their face. “There’s no rush luv.”


Curie: 

“ Are you comparing us sleeping zogether to crossing the event horizon?” From all the reactions Sole expected… “Curie I don’t really know what that’s supposed to mean.” I zhink you know it is ‘a point of no return’. Zhat isn’t an entirely accurate meaning though.” “Well, I guess I do.” “But inzhercourse is a natural way of expressing affection, non? “ “Well, yes but I mean… sometimes it can just be uncomfortable and strange when someone doesn’t do something right and I’m convinced I’ll manage to bump my head or yours or I don’t know…” “Well, I am zsure such a bruise would heal fast! You have faced much worse. “ “Curie, it’s just not as simple as you think.”  “But why not?” Curie’s innocent approach just made Sole love her more. “What if it doesn’t feel good?” “It will! I have read about this.” “Or what if I don’t do it right?” “Oh, I can show you an image of…” “No, Curie, Thanks. I do know that.” “Zhen let’s go!’


Desdemona: 

Des expected that Sole’s constant excuses weren’t rooted in being that busy. “Well… there is no reason to be nervous. I really do care about you and even if you haven’t got much experience I could always show you the ropes.” She kissed Sole and started walking towards the door. “ Des, where are you going?” “ I have things to do Sole. But hey. I’m right here, ready and waiting.” Sole looked at her walking away with confusion on their face. That’s when they realised she just repeated one of the excuses they had used before. 1-0 for Des there. Sole grinned.


Glory: 

“Ah, that’s bullshit. I bet you’re a knockout in bed.” “If you mean accidentally hitting you in the face at some point, possibly.” “Hey, don’t sell my boyfriend/girlfriend short or there’ll be hell to pay.” Sole smiled. “ So, let me get this straight: you mean you think you can save my people but also think I’ll leave you as soon as it turns out you’re less of a champ in bed? If your sense of judgement is that good then fucking hell,  I might actually have to start worrying about the saving my people part.” “No, saving your people feels like less of a risk than screwing up with you…” She swung one of her legs over Sole’s and went to sit on Sole’s lap, getting their face no more than a couple of inches away from theirs. “ Is that worth not screwing at all though?” Sole blinked, they must’ve misheard. Glory got up. “Anyway, I’m at HQ if you wanna do this. Come find me when you’re capable of talking again.”


Magnolia

To magnolia it was strangely refreshing that someone didn’t immediately try to dive into bed with her. She thought Sole’s worrying over doing this right was simply adorable and actually a bit of a turn-on. She’d been with plenty of men and women before but this was new. This one was actually concerned with impressing her. ‘See now, that attitude is… actually very attractive. But darling, you will be as much of a star between the sheets as I am on that stage once I’ve gotten you to new heights.” Sole’s jaw dropped. She did not just say that. Magnolia just winked and led Sole to her room where she slipped out of her dress and beckoned Sole to join her.


Piper: 

She’s slightly amused by Sole’s reaction. So she finally uncovered what really makes Sole nervous. “You kill the worst beasts without batting an eyelash but this is what makes you stumble over your words?” She instantly felt guilty when Sole didn’t smile or laugh. Oh god, they were really nervous. “ Oh, I’m sorry Blue! I didn’t mean it as a bad thing.  I think it’s sweet that you care so much about this.” “Cause everyone wants to be ‘sweet’ when talking about sex, Piper.” You won’t screw it up. But you are ready for this right? As in really ready? Cause this isn’t the kind of thing you rush into like you tend to rush into infested haunted mansions.” “I do but I just don’t want to get this wrong and well…” “ Too bad, Blue. You know I only want you for your body, right?” “Wait, what?” “Exactly. Nonsense. You can’t get rid of me that easily Blue. But you should prooobably calm down a little first and come find me when you’re a little less flustered.” She gave Sole a kiss on the cheek “Whenever you’re ready.” 

When Angels Take Flight

Characters: Balthazar, Lucifer, Gabriel

Word count: 526

Warnings: Fluff!

A/N: This was requested by @heaven-bound-angel   Can I maybe get a short one with Gabe, Balthy and Luci comforting the reader about flying? And I hope I you all like it! Feedback is welcomed and appreciated! <3

You let out a nervous breath as you finished packing your clothes into a suitcase.  You slumped onto your bed, holding your head in your hands.  You were so nervous about flying.  You had never flown before and you didn’t know what to expect.  You were an absolute wreck and your flight was in a few hours.

“Tsk tsk tsk, [Y/N].  You’ve been through more terrifying situations than this one,” Lucifer teased.  “Surely you can handle a plane ride.”

You rolled your eyes, looking behind you to see Lucifer on your bed.  “It’s not that simple you know.  You angels can just teleport yourselves places far away, I have to fly,” you spoke nervously.

You heard the flutter of wings; great now Balthazar was here.  “Luci, give [Y/N] a break.  She has a right to be nervous, humans are quite flawed,” Balthazar noted as he leaned against the wall.

“You’re not helping either,” you groaned, rubbing your face with your hands.  

“Maybe I can help cupcake,” Gabriel joked, winking at you from across the room.

“Why are you all here?  Don’t you have hell to cause,” you said looking at Lucifer.  “Don’t you two have better things to do,” your eyes darted between Balthazar and Gabriel.

“We’re all here to help you relax,” Gabriel noted.

“Well, they’re here for that reason,” Lucifer folded his arms, relaxing his back against the headboard of your bed.  “I’m here because I find this hilarious.”

Balthazar rolled his eyes, “look [Y/N] you’re going to be fine.  Planes are one of the safest ways to travel, if not the safest.  Next to us anyway.”

“If you get into any real danger, we’ll come and grab you,” Gabriel added, padding up to your bed.  He plopped down next to you, giving you a warm smile.

Balthazar joined you and Gabriel at the end of the bed, sitting on your other side.  “Love, you’ll be fine.  We promise,” his spoke, his voice low.

“If someone tries to hurt you, I can promise they’ll face my wrath,” Lucifer reassured with a devious tone in his voice.  He moved to sit behind you, setting his chin on your head.

“All three of us will ensure that you have a safe flight to and from your destination,” Gabriel patted your knee.

“We could just go with [Y/N],” Lucifer suggested with a shrug.

“This is the only time I hope I have to say this, but he has a good point,” Gabriel raised his eyebrows.  “You bastard,” he said looking back at Lucifer.  

You tried to protest their plans, but they all grew more insistent on the idea.  They started to chat about it, smirking and laughing about it.  You tried to break up their conversation, “guys really, you don’t-.”

“It’s already settled [Y/N], we’re going with you,” Balthazar stated.

“I’ll try to behave myself [Y/N].  Maybe I can get a reward for good behavior,” Lucifer spoke softly, towering over you.

“If this is going to be a buddy system, I call [Y/N],” Gabriel smirked, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

This was definitely going to be an interesting flight.


Tag list: @the-real-tony-stank@cyrilconnelly@lucifer-in-leather@deathtonormalcy56@feelmyroarrrr