In The Land of Monsters

I was always afraid of the gym. Of the monsters that lurked within. A land of giants I had no place intruding.

Sports, fitness and I were never on very good terms, especially when I was a teenager. I was the academic, the imagineer, the dreamer, the geek, the nerd. Whichever way you cut it, there was very much a difference between myself and my “sporty” peers. I’m not going to say “jocks”, because growing up in England we never had that kind of tribalism. But I was a peaceful soul who preferred to bury himself in books and science fiction; they were the brutes who pushed me against the corridor walls, gave me physical and mental torment for my lack of caring for my appearance, for my indifference to their ways. I didn’t even support a football (soccer) team, which in England is nearly as much a capital offence as non-support of rugby is in New Zealand.

Teenage Beastpup in England

So picture me as a young man going through puberty, being inspired by the muscular physiques of bodybuilders like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jay Culter, Flex Wheeler, Markus Ruhl… monsters, stirring something within me. A desire to be more. A desire to change. To express myself through growth.

But I was scared.

No matter how much I wanted it…I felt I could never, ever join a gym. It would be torture… I’d be like chum in a pool of sharks. Surely from the moment I stepped foot inside my tender, nerd-like nature would be sniffed out by the others, and I would be mocked, tortured anew. Or even then, could I handle seeing how skinny I was compared to the others, when my body dysmorphia took over? Or would my family and friends even understand and join in the mocking that I, the twig, was trying to change himself in the gym? And people would see how sexual it was for me. How much I wanted it… I could never be normal enough… could never get over all these mental hurdles…

 Until the day I did.

Moving to New Zealand in my early 20s brought a lot of changes and positive adjustments to my life. Away from my past, I was free in a new place to start anew. It took many, many months of convincing myself still, but at last I had enough of always wanting and never having. At long last… I was going to join a gym. It was now or never.

 And so my mission began.

Because I couldn’t just walk in there! Oh no. Couldn’t just waltz into the natives encampment… I had to disguise myself first. I had to present myself to the tribe as one of them. Prior to going to the gym, I took myself off to the local sportswear store which was in of itself terrifying as a place I’d never stepped foot in. I despised those overpriced, branded goods put together in sweatshop factories by kids overseas… but for this, I would make the leap. I bought my clothes… a gym bag. Looked up online, I think, what people normally took to the gym… water bottle, towel. It took me a week to psych myself up but finally… I did it. I entered the land of monsters.  I went to the local gym and like a meek doormouse, asked the young lady at the reception if I could join.

 Everything that happened after was so very, very different from all my fears. I was welcomed. I was taken in, I was given my induction by helpful trainers… they equipped me with the confidence to be in that environment, and weren’t intimidating at all! Nor were the other guys there… everyone was just doing their own thing. No torture, no mocking. Just a common pursuit. Fitness. Growth.

The years since have been a blur; a lot has happened in my life. But the gym has always been there… it went from feeling like an alien outpost, to something else. Home. I am at home in the gym. I live for it. I know it. It has become my playground. My stomping ground. And just this week I looked in the mirror, now that I have grown, and I can see staring back at me:

I am now the monster I was afraid of.

 I made my dream come true, and in the process lost my fears. And I’ll say to anyone; you can have this too. You can be it. But if you still have your fear, I understand. But you don’t have to be afraid of the monsters. You’ll be one of them if you want. You just have to work. You just have to leave fear behind.

Happy growing…

 - Beast June 2017

Princess try drinking from teacup like fancy lady Birb but look to silly to be proper lady birb.

We make’s the ruleso, sonney. Societel gracies? Jussta all in ye head 8/10 *smorshes the palate* This is whatsa callin High Cultere now

(submitted by @whiskeyandlead)

falloutjessica111  asked:

Hey Dere I'm new here and I LOVE ur blog, top quality. Can you do some head cannon of Danse plz cuz I love dat tin can man with da stickers on his ass😂. If u can NSFW. Thx once more. Love u😘

Here we go my lovely, hope this is what you were after. Enjoy <3

First Meeting/Pre-romanced

  • His first name is something very traditional- Johnathon, or Alexandra, or Wilson, and he gets embarrassed when Sole first finds out. Sole loves to take the mick out of his name, and Danse doesn’t like to admit it, but he does get a bit hurt over it.
  • His first name is something very traditional- Johnathon, or Alexandra, or Wilson, and he gets embarrassed when Sole first finds out. Sole loves to take the mick out of his name, and Danse doesn’t like to admit it, but he does get a bit hurt over it.
  • Absolute Brotherhood TRASH. Lives for the brotherhood. Breathes for the brotherhood. Sole thinks it is very unhealthy, but you can’t convince him to calm it down any. After Blind Betrayal, he still finds himself defending the actions of the Brotherhood- however he slowly begins to leave the Brotherhood behind.
  • Has a thing for fancy lads- you can bribe him to do anything for a packet of fancy lads. If he could eat fancy lad’s for breakfast, lunch and dinner he would.
  • Has a soft spot for Haylen- she fancies Rhys so wouldn’t consider Danse, however she has told him that in another life they might have been together.  
  • Hated the thought of some wastelander helping out the brotherhood, however he couldn’t help but admit that having Sole about as an extra gun was better than facing the synths alone.
  • Part of Danse’s post-traumatic stress disorder means that he gets pretty bad anxiety and insomnia- so he rarely sleeps, and if he ever does then he wakes up in cold sweats- or sometimes even tears.
  • Danse likes some of the more tame animals throughout the Commonwealth. He loves dogmeat. And the little cats that Sole *somehow* keeps getting into the settlements. So much so that he has one that is his- a little kitten that likes to settle itself down in his power armour- not that he’d let anyone know that- especially not Sole.
  • Danse loves the Atom Cats- loves them. Like, had he grown up in the Commonwealth, he knows that he would have ended up with them.


  • Doesn’t like sharing a bed with people- he’s not sure if it’s because he isn’t used to not sharing it with people or because everyone he’s shared a bed with has ended up leaving him or dead. When Sole suggests that they start sharing a bed together, he’s very reluctant. But the idea begins to grow on him.
  • Really wants to have children- something he never realised until he met female! Sole. Couldn’t imagine anything better. A little Danse running around, his hair and Sole’s eyes. A miniature Sole running around- hell, she’d be Danse’s princess. He basically watched that crash and burn the minute he found out that he was a synth.
  • Was shocked the second Sole told him that she was pregnant with his child.
  • Likes to be very romantic- but he gets very embarrassed about it- and is also quiet bad at being romantic. Likes to try to cook for Sole- very not good at cooking and nearly burns the house down. Likes to pick flowers, ends up picking the ones that are poisonous.
  • Loves kissing- sweet soft kisses that made him feel like his stomach was full of butterflies. Rough kisses- teeth clashing, bruised lips. Liked to keep it a secret from people- everyone apart from Sole.


  • Like his kisses, Danse likes rough sex and slow sex- and all sorts of sex. Rough hard sex against walls and desks. Soft slow sex in bed. Exciting sex- new positions and things he’s never tried before- like anal.
  • Love’s oral sex. Loves it being performed on him, but loves performing it on his partner more. Loves the little noises it brings out of them. Loves the way they shiver and writhe underneath him. 
  • Never had sex out in the Commonwealth until Sole came around. Pretends he HATES it but actually LOVES it. Tries to subtly convince Sole to have sex in the Commonwealth, and Sole ‘goes along with it’.

Blind Betrayal

  • During Blind Betrayal, Danse thought about ending his life several times- but Sole would come to his mind. And Hayden. And Culter. And all he had to live for. And that made it a little better for him.
  • After Blind Betrayal, he and Preston became slow friends. Preston would try and rid Danse of his brotherhood prejudices. Danse would assist Preston with battle training, ensuring the Minutemen were a force to be reckoned with.
  • Enjoys helping build things around the settlements- it gives him something to do, something to keep his hands busy with. He built Dogmeat a new doghouse. Built a little shelter for his little kitten.

Aztecoatl interest check? Its not done yet but im stopping for the night. Gonna make it nice and sparkly! Nows a good time to mention any suggestions or changes, (like im not sure if blue and green on the wings…) and what about the castle ziggy zaggy bits along the stomache, or the head feathers? Red?? maybe i should make two version, a blue/gold themed and a red/gold themed one? What colour scheme screams “AZTEC/MESOAMERICAN” to you? also this is about %24 coverage so i could add some more jewellry bits or perhaps colour the tips of the wings? Or make the wing shoulder curls gold also? (actually note to self: do that.) perhaps a gold tongue?

Trailer Thoughts and Theories.

First things first, watch that.

Secondly, I won’t be going over the Lars and Off colors trailer since there’s nothing i can really theorize about there (other than what will happen in that episode, and I’ll leave that to the others in the community to theorize)

Third, yes that is a new icon thank’s for noticing it’s basicly the aftermath in my brian from the season five trailer. I’ll change it again once i can finally make sense of this show for good or whenever i feel like I need a new one.

Now onto my thoughts, and I won’t do these types of posts often since usually I’m one of the last theoriest to post sometihng about anything, mostly because i want to see what others are saying about things.

I’ll only talk about what stood out to me the most:

Steven’s daily dose of anxiety is increasing and his self confidence is decreasing (as per the norm latley for the poor kid, he’s only 14)

“You ran from blue and yellow diamond?!” This is obviously a big deal (not that we didn’t know that already) but now we’re probably going to learn how big of a deal it was.

Then we hear Greg talking to the gems about not knowing much about their planet/culter or anything to do with them really. THis is said over th eimage of a battle ofagians’t who we assume to be pink diamodn before flashing to the kindergarden and a house that looks like greg might be living in (?). Pearl also explains it’s not easy to explain.

Then we see some things with lapis and battles

“Earth is our home now isn’t it worth fighting for?”

Now onto the theories!

I have a feeling we are going to learn something about PD from the crystal gems. But I don’t think we’re going to hear them say it to Steven… I think Steven’s going to overhear them telling Greg. The only reason i say this is we don’t see Steven in the scenes at the odd house, But he’s obiously there since we see the series  with him as our window. 

I also forsee a possable falling out between everyones favorite pumpkin moms. Peridot want’s to protect Earth, but Lapis is affraid of being a victum of war again.

But why would I claim they’re gonna have a fall out? Well… Something struck me as I rewatched the trailer. Now the very last scene with a character is Peridot looking up around sunset, holding her hand out towards somebody talking about protecting the earth. Now this person can’t be steven because her head is angled to far up, to the point that no matter who story boarded her Steven could not be the person she was looking at. But as I rewatched the trailer i noticed soemthing … Very odd during those actions scenes, and very out of place. You see lapis, but she isn’t fighting. She’s looking down at someone like she’s about to regret leaving them and flying off, another thing to note is it’s also sunset in that scene. Now I’m only guessing that Peridot and Lapis are together in this scene and Peridot asks Lapis to fight for their home only for lapis to fly off, giving peridot her answer.

So to sum things up:

I think Steven is going to over hear some things about the gem’s past told to Greg, and Peridot and Lapis are going to have a falling out. 

Depending on if/when new information comes out i may make a follow up post on weather or not I’m sure of these event’s, but oh boy. Season 5 is going to be a rough one.

3 Sizes Too Big with Teokbokki Stains - Hwall Requested Scenario


Band: The Boyz

Summary: in which you and Hwall have a lazy night, eating pizza and binge watching Bob’s Burgers but Hwall will just not let go

Genre: fluff

Message?: I wrote this and then tumblr deleted it… fun fun fun!


“Did you feel that?” Hwall asked, looking at me, his face suddenly turning serious.

“Feel what?” I asked, looking round.

“That,” Hwall said, putting his hand in the air, “it was either rain or you spat on me.”

“I didn't—” I began, but got cut off as rain suddenly started falling, getting heavier and heavier each second.

I squealed, jumping up, grabbing mine and Hwall’s stuff on the way.

Hwall grabbed all the food and I held into his free hand.

“Where should we go?!” I yelled over the sound of rain hitting the river next to us.

“Dorms!” Hwall shouted back, motioning in the direction of his dorms.

I sighed, knowing his managers wouldn’t like it, but running with him anyway.

“Quickly!” he shouted, running across the road and into the apartment building where he lived.

We started running up the stairs, laughing at our drenched states.

“I think everyone’s practising,” Hwall said, putting his ear to the door before opening it and taking his shoes off, “hello?”

There was no response as I took my shoes off, leading me to walk into the living room, Hwall looking around in other places.

“No one’s here,” I concluded, turning to see Hwall.

“What should we do?” he asked, standing in a way so he wouldn’t drip on himself but on the floor surrounding him.

“Maybe we should dry,” I laughed.

His face burst into a smiled and soon we were both laughing as we looked at each other’s stupid, wet bodies.

“I have no clothes!” I exclaimed suddenly, “shit!”

“It’s okay, borrow mine,” Hwall said.

He walked into the bedroom, soon throwing me out a towel as he got dried and changed.

I began rubbing all through my hair and over my face, unable to dry my body because of the clothes hanging onto me.

“Here,” Hwall said, coming out the bedroom and handing me some of his clothes.

I held up the white t-shirt, teokbokki stains all over it and started laughing.

“All right then,” I laughed.

Hwall looked embarrassed, watching me walk into his bedroom.

I quickly undressed and dried before getting into his big, warm clothes and tying up my hair into a messy bun.

I walked out to see Hwall sat on the sofa, his feet resting on the table as he flicked through the TV channels.

His head turned as he saw me walking out, he stopped, moving over for me to sit down.

“Those are massive,” Hwall laughed.

“I’m not even that small!” I exclaimed, picking at the extra length of t-shirt hanging from my body.

“Well..” Hwall said, his voice trailing off.

I gasped, jokingly hitting him as he laughed.

“Shall we order food?” he asked, finally settling on a channel and letting it play.

“Ooh, pizza!” I exclaimed.

Hwall laughed, “okay.”

He got his phone out, calling the pizza place as I cuddled against him, my mind focused on Bob’s Burgers.

“What even is this?” Hwall asked, trying to flick onto another channel.

“Um no?!” I exclaimed, taking the remote off of him, “have you never seen the culteral masterpiece that is Bob’s Burgers?!”

Hwall looked a bit scared, shaking his head, “um… no?”

“Hwall!” I exclaimed.

I turned his head so he was looking at the TV as he burst out laughing.

“Seriously, watch,” I said.

“Yes sir,” he chuckled, him now focusing on Bob’s Burgers.

Only a few minutes later the doorbell rang and I got up to get it.

“I really hope this is the pizza,” I said, “because I look like shit right now and I’ll only let you and the pizza guy see me.”

“Hey!” Hwall shouted.

“Seriously though, I’d give my life to the pizza guy,” I said, opening the door to see the pizza guy.

“Thanks,” he laughed, handing me the pizzas as I blushed.

“Here,” I said, giving him the money I’d taken out of Hwall’s pocket, “thank you!”

I shut the door and walked over to the sofa to see Hwall focused on Bob’s Burgers.

“Pizza!” he exclaimed as his face followed the smell.

I put it down on the table before running to get drinks and plates.

“Here,” I said, going to hand Hwall a plate but seeing him already eating, “okay then.”

Hwall laughed, still taking the plate.

Hours later, after nearly two series of Bob’s Burgers, two pizzas and five cans of coke each, Hwall began to close his eyes.

I started playing with his hair, humming as his sleepy face resting in my waist, his lazy arm straddling my tummy.

“You tired?” I chuckled, looking down at him.

He moaned something of a ‘yes’ before finally falling into a deep sleep.

I continued watching Bob’s Burgers, determined to get to season 3. But soon, the five cans of coke caught up with me.

“Hwall,” I whispered, a feeling of desperately needing to pee taking over my whole body.

“Hwall!” I whispered, a little bit louder.

But his arm just tightened around my waist.

“You’re making this really hard Hwall,” I said, giving up on whispering.

Hwall moaned and I sighed, now pleading.

“Hwall wake up!” I exclaimed.

He didn’t even stir.

I sighed, now taking to trying to peel his arm away from my waist.

“Please Hwall,” I laughed, my body beginning to squirm because I really needed to pee.

I hung my head in shame when suddenly a bang of the door woke Hwall up with a start.

“Thank the fucking lord!” I shouted, getting up and running to the toilet.

Hwall sighed, “you could’ve just told me you needed to pee!”

does anyone know of any LOTR/Hobbit Modern AUs where the Dwarves involved are Jewish because that’s what their culture is based on for god’s sake

No offence to any writers that go in other directions for anyone, of course. 

But there are things I desperately need sometimes and acknowledgement to the cultures these races were designed off of is one of them if anyone has any fic recs please share