Jupiter Ascending is just as absurd as sci-fi fantasy movie as The Fifth Element. Both of them are about a Normal person who has to save the everyone from a Big Bad Evil entity, set against the backdrop of a weird and chaotic extra-spacey alien-filled universe.
The only difference is that The Fifth Element is geared towards a male audience and Jupiter Ascending is geared toward a female audience. Which is why the Fifth Element is a cult classic and Jupiter Ascending is a Bad Movie.
1) Walk on water - Thirty Seconds to Mars
2) Come as you are - Nirvana
3) Stay the night - Zedd, Hayley Williams
4) White Wedding - Billy Idol
5) Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears for Fears
6) (Don’t Fear) The Reaper - Blue Öyster Cult
7) Drops of Jupiter - Train
8) Sweater Weather - The Neighborhood
9) Jungle - X Ambassadors
10) Can’t Break Me Down - Billy Idol
‘’…Tullius reigned between two Etruscan kings, Tarquinius Priscus and Tarquinius Superbus. The Etruscan kings began and perhaps finished the most important Roman temple, devoted to the cult of the Capitoline Triad, Jupiter, Juno, and Minerva (the dedication was believed to have taken place in 509 or 507 bc after the expulsion of the Etruscans). Such triads, housed in temples with three…’’
I saw a post a day or so ago about Jupiter Ascending having made its budget back because it has hit $176 million at the global box office, matching its $176 million production budget. While I hate to be the bearer of bad news, it’s still nowhere near profit - basically, profit is to Jupiter Ascending what Australia is to Siberia (very, very far away). Generally speaking, only 50% of box office takings actually go to the studio - that’s why a film is usually only considered profitable after it has at least doubled its budget. That basically puts the film at around $88 million in the red.
Unfortunately, there’s more to it than that: Jupiter Ascending’s production budget was $176 million, yes, but that doesn’t include marketing costs. Jupiter Ascending’s marketing budget is estimated to have been $100 million (that’s the figure Variety gave, but I don’t believe it tbh - the marketing campaign simply wasn’t extensive enough to justify that kind of budget). As a result, Jupiter Ascending is essentially a gaping money pit for its producers. It became a slightly smaller money pit after it was released in China, and the money pit will become smaller still after it is released in Japan. Nonetheless, there can be no avoiding it - Jupiter Ascending is an unmitigated financial disaster.
Having said all that, please don’t let the film’s box office failure discourage or upset you. The film exists, and that is a wonderful, wonderful thing. Enjoy it and look forward to the blu-ray release (think of all the beautiful, shining gifs). I’m confident that the film will gradually be reassessed over the years and will ultimately be appreciated as the cult classic it is so obviously destined to become.
I’ve watched some people on my dash freak out about it for a week and I can confirm: Jupiter Rising is glorious and shining space opera trash romance adventure pulp. With emphasis on glorious.
RUSSIAN SPACE PRINCESS Mila Kunis. I mean, I can see a whole generation of Slavic girls imprinting on her like I did on Babylon 5’s Susan Ivanova.
And she has a big family who get in her way but they all love each other and she doesn’t have to learn to abandon them.
So many cool ladies who aren’t sexualised. I think the first non-family Bechdel pass is Nikki Amuka-Bird’s hardcore spaceship captain telling the Russian Space Princess she’d rather be back in a space battle than face estate law bureaucracy.
Speaking of which, Lawyer Droid. I want the Lawyer Droid to become as iconic as Boba Fett because oh I love his faces.
I think all in all we get at least a third of characters of colour? Plus you know, Slavic immigrant lady MC. Aristocracy’s all white, but all the aristos shown are all siblings.
Terry Gilliam is in it. I may have pointed and bounced.
SEAN BEAN DOESN’T DIE.
Space werewolf bodyguard. Who flies.
Did I mention James D’Arcy’s in it?
Oh, and it’s shiny. I mean, seriously pretty with effects liek whoa. A bit too many space chases, but they’re well-paced, and oh the pretty. I mean, serious Borgia-cathedral-level of pomp and decadence and wow.