cue-the-critic

I have the plot idea for a perfect 50K story but am unwilling to write it due to horror lmao:

Years have passed since the gang has graduated. Nathanaël is a struggling artist at 27, talented but largely unnoticed. He believes he will get his chance, and is determined to get his art into Fancy Musuem™ now that it is under new management. More importantly, he’s determined to get a paying job as an assistant that will eventually get his art in the museum.

Cue Chloé Bourgeois, elite art critic and said new management.

The years have graced with her an elegant, sophisticated beauty - of course; would she be Chloé Bourgeois if she was anything but? - but she has also been graced with a change of heart.

Vain, materialistic, harsh to others. Yes. She’s a critic, duh.

But she is ashamed of her past, of bullying her peers, yet doesn’t have the courage to reach out and apologize. It’d be pointless to do so after all these years, right?

She’s remained cold and alone since then, a broken heart from unrequited love a reminder that she deserves it.

Back to the present, she recognizes Nathanaël and he recognizes her. It’s an awkward interview.

Nevertheless, he gets the job. He runs her errands, gets her coffee, occasionally gets his opinion in about incoming pieces of art -

It’s awkward, but professional.

Then assisting turns into a strange friendship after some slip-ups. Walls slowly come down, but not all of them. Not yet.

It’s revealed she’s been in love with Nathanaël all these years, not Adrien like he believes, but she’s too ashamed to ever confess such a thing.

They grow closer still, time goes by. He realizes he may care for her in a way he didn’t think possible before.

But they are both still alone, left cold by relationships (or lack of).

So friends become friends with benefits. It’s awkward the first time, just like when the job started, but there’s trust now; they laugh and form a different connection.

The thing is: they are not people who can sleep around without emotions. Their emotions are stronger than they think.

Their relationship now becomes one similar to dating, but that’s not what they call it. They can’t. Why would he love someone as cruel as her, and how could she ever see him as anything but a convenient body?

Nathanaël gets his art accepted into the museum.

Emotions control them.

The anniversary of Madame Bourgeois’s death comes around.

Chloé’s last wall crumbles as she knocks on his door and lets him into her heart. They don’t have sex that night; they make love.

Emotions make them do terrible things; make terrible decisions without any thought.

He realizes he is in love with her as she asks him, in the softest voice he has ever heard, to spend the night with him. Just this once.

He also realizes he cannot continue this, not while he feels so much for a woman who doesn’t feel the same.

It is morning, and she is picking up her clothes from his floor when he accidentally voices a thought:

“I can’t do this with you anymore.”

And of course, she misunderstands. She looks at him, hurt and betrayed, and before he can correct his mistake, she says:

“So this is it then? Humiliate me, beat me at my weakest?” She is crying now, and he realizes there are many things beautiful about her but not her tears. Especially when he’s caused them.

And she leaves, feeling distraught but not cheated. She blames herself; she deserves it, for doing the same thing to him years ago.

Weeks go by. They are both void of emotion now, anything other than heartbreak unwelcome.

Nathanaël’s art is hung and it is as marvelous as she knew it would be. She feels proud, despite her ache; he feels nothing, despite his accomplishment.

But he is still her assistant, and he shows up at her home one night to drop off something. She is nothing but professional; icy and cold at most.

He sputters out an apology and she cuts him off; she doesn’t want to hear what she thinks she knows.

But he insists, and he explains he couldn’t continue sleeping with her while he loved her - and boy, did he love her. More than he ever thought possible. He apologizes again and again, tells her he knows how vulnerable she was that day and he should have handled it better.

And Chloé is stunned. She remains silent so long he begins to leave, ready to lick his wounds, but she catches his arm and quietly confesses how much she loves him.

“All these years, it’s been you who had my heart.”

And she is crying again, and he is on the verge as well, and they kiss and it is so much different than any of their other kisses.

They are in love, the past forgiven. And their cold worlds are suddenly filled with a warmth they never expected.

(The End.)

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(wait can I count this as my fic for AU day because damn)

People: all I see is s/u crit everywhere I cannot escape it :(

Me: 🤔 hmmmm

Looks in “s/u” tag: In recent I mostly saw posts in spanish and the occasional s/u liveblogging post
Now lets look in the top: mostly s/u screenshots, the occasional nice art.

Okay lets look in St*ven Un*verse tag:
First Recent: Lots of nice s/u art/posts and even asks with the title of s/u in it. So far no s/u critical posts.
Now top: a few videos, lots of nice positive art. Seems pretty good.

Now lets look in s/u critical tag:
First recent: a few good redraws of screencaps, asks with the tag name in it, long paragraphs of people whining about the tag, people insulting others for being critical, actual posts of people who loved the show who are disappointed by its current turn. And some art of redesigns that look nice.

Top: really good videos, some funny posts, some long text posts all in all pretty good.

So are you guys actively searching for these posts? Or am I just blind? 🤔

Ok, I’m a babby-n00b fan (it’s been what, two weeks, three?), but I really frickin’ love the band The Dear Hunter and I want to gush about their music and I enjoy ranking things so…yeah, here’s me talking about my favorite songs from the Acts. (no major story spoilers)

Please feel free to completely ignore if you aren’t interested in my semi-coherent and less-than-sophisticated ramblings. X’D

Keep reading

2

The fictional Danish prime minister in Borgen may have had her detractors. However, nearly four years since Borgen was last shown on BBC Four, the actress Sidse Babett Knudsen’s thoroughly humane creation remains not only the best prime minister Denmark never had, but the ideal to which all robotic female politicians, from Hillary to Theresa, can but hopelessly aspire.

Yet in Crazy Diamond, a forthcoming episode of Electric Dreams, Channel 4’s free-translation of Philip K Dick short stories, Knudsen is cast as a genetically bred android. “The thing is,” she explains, “in this the robots, or whatever you call them, are more sensitive than the real human beings.”

A theme of the episode is the need to escape from the badgering of the state and commerce. When we meet I ask her what her exit routes are. “I run and I swim.” In a swimming pool? “Or the sea, if I can possibly. In Denmark we’re Viking-ish. We’ll go out when everybody else thinks it’s freezing cold. And then I’ve just tried that thing called a ‘holiday’, which is that thing where you go away.”

She is back from three weeks’ scuba diving in Bali. Since this is clearly a rarity, I wonder if she found herself agreeing with the philosopher Alain de Botton that the problem with holidays is that you bring yourself on them. She looks completely mystified. “I don’t know what that means, or what relax means. My brain never sleeps. I want to take myself on holiday.”

So she still thinks about her life and her career when she’s away?

“Yes … but without interruptions.”

Knudsen is clearly driven, and no less so at 48 than at 18, when she arrived in Paris to train at the Théâtre de l’Ombre with barely a word of French. Her parents, Ebbe, a photographer, who died five years ago, and Susanne Andersen, a teacher, were bohemians not hippies, she says, but the family spent a couple of years in Dar es Salaam in Tanzania. “If anything, they were explorers. They met in South America on a ship. If there’s one thing I’ve been brought up with, it is that we’re here to see what there is. It’s not about finding a good spot and then staying there.”

At drama school she was considered extremely “natural”, with a more direct route to her emotions than most of her French contemporaries. The praise at first puzzled her, until she won an insight into cerebral French education by giving English classes to children. “I saw these tiny children, mini, mini, mini human beings reciting Baudelaire they had no possible way of understanding.”

In Denmark, rather than learn the great texts by rote, children are taught as individuals? “Used to be. I think it’s changing now because, like everywhere else, it has to be about results. It’s madness. We’re going to live longer lives now. Why do children have to find out so early what they want to do?”

She stayed in French theatre for six years and then returned to Copenhagen, where she quickly won awards for her work on film before she was persuaded, partly by seeing The Killing’s Sofie Grabol in a series, that television was not beneath her dignity. Still, in 2010 she was far from convinced that Borgen, centred so firmly on the corridors of political power, would work in Denmark, let alone become an international hit. “I hope you don’t ask me why it did travel because I still don’t know.” It is probably because of her, I say. “Let it be recorded I said nothing to that.”

Uncannily, Knudsen’s Birgitte prefigured by barely a year the election of Denmark’s first female prime minister, Helle Thorning-Schmidt. I wonder if Knudsen thinks that the show helped to establish the credibility of female politicians. Britain now has its second woman PM, but journalists have recently become fixated on her fashion choices. Knudsen sighs. Has the feminist battle not been won? “It’s an ongoing thing. I’m a feminist in that I believe in equality. I’m not talking about us being alike. I’m talking about being equals. Men and women in the same room is the best recipe.”

Despite her fears, Borgen turned out to be, as she puts it, her “passport to the outer world”. Her most recent international recognition has been for another robot sci-fi satire, Westworld, in which she played the conniving corporate employee Theresa. The scale, she says, was so much greater than for Borgen. Whereas on Borgen the cast would meet to discuss the plot, she had little grasp on Westworld’s wider storyline. Although this was an expensive project for the American TV network HBO, the pressure was less for her.

One low reason to watch this highly intelligent series was the amount of nudity on show. “The set was very much glass. You could see all these rooms with all these naked people.” Yet prurient viewers hoping to see a little more of Knudsen would be disappointed. She has never taken her clothes off for a role. “Because that’s private and it’s me. Even though it’s a part, it will be my skin. I’m not a fan of nudity as a spectator, and I don’t really like sex scenes. I like sexual, and I like the flirt and I want them to go into the bedroom, but I don’t want to see it. And I know if I’m watching something I’m going to think, ‘Oh, her thighs look like that.’ I don’t want people to come out of the cinema and think, ‘So that’s how she really looks!’ ”

Yet in the extraordinary 2014 movie The Duke of Burgundy, which is about two lesbians in a sado-masochistic relationship, she actually urinated on her lover. No, her character did, she corrects me. “I don’t think I could wee on cue.” She thinks — and critics agreed — it was a telling story about relationships, and, anyway, she remained dressed.

In a way, acting is a paradoxical profession for Knudsen. She is veryextremely private, has never told the press who the father of her 12-year-old son is or whether she is still — or was ever — with him. In a television interview with the Scottish first minister she told Nicola Sturgeon that she could not understand politicians’ desire to take centre stage and expose themselves to criticism. Yet, surely, this is exactly what she does as an actress.

“On the contrary. I’m hiding myself actively. There is a big difference between standing up and saying my name and then something as myself. That’s really scary.”

Knudsen has always said that she never sees people she plays as men or women, but as individuals. It is probably why for a long time this Dane said her ambition was to play Hamlet. I wonder if it still is. “I am thinking more of Richard III now,” she says. And wouldn’t that be something?
Electric Dreams starts on Channel 4 tomorrow at 9pm with the first episode,The Hood Maker

Sidse’s perfect weekend

London or Copenhagen?
I’m home-grown, so Copenhagen, but I love London as well

Wine or water?
Water. I don’t drink now. I don’t enjoy it very much

Free-range parenting or tiger mother?
Tiger mother, I think

Festival camping or five-star hotel?
Five-star hotel

Hygge or hullaballoo?
We can’t talk about that because hygge has gone completely wrong. It’s been misunderstood and I’d need an hour to explain

I could not get through the weekend without …
Strawberry cake, dancing and lots of sleep

VLD MAGICAL GIRLS AU!!

So I had a weird idea one day in a McDonalds so i decided to write all of it down (im going to draw content for it later on 👌👌🔥🔥)

Heads up if you’re uncomfortable with cisswap AUs because this AU is definitely one
(and unnecessary cursing im sorry i have no filter)

Keep reading

Dungeon music

So, what does everyone think for incidental music cues; like a critical hit or critical fails? I inspired my fiancé/DM to make all our weapon sound bytes included, but he’s looking for…idk creepy music

anonymous asked:

Anon, sometimes everything is a first. So, maybe this is the album for love songs and not difficult times in her life. I honestly believe it's going to be her least personal album.

I would be surprised if this is her least personal album. I know that she feels like she has every reason to hide as a means of avoiding scrutiny, but she’s also been dead silent for almost two years now. I imagine she has a lot to say, and her music is the way she says it. Also, she’s said time and again that she takes cues from critics and peers when producing new music, and the biggest (and only) criticism of 1989 is that it wasn’t as lyrically developed and poignant as her past albums, so I imagine that’ll be a focus moving forward.

anonymous asked:

What are some movies or tv shows that do an excellent job at fight (and gun) scenes? I wanted to know what you think, so that I can use them as a reference -- be it for drawing or writing a story.

Okay, there’s an easy way to do this and a useful way, let’s start with the useful route. Find names. Not actors, and not usually directors. You’re looking for stunt choreographers, sword masters, or fight choreographers. Unfortunately the name for the positions vary. They will usually be credited in the stunts section on IMDB, if you’re using it. These are the people that actually train the actors and stunt performers. I’ll be honest, these guys can be a pain to track down. If you’re looking for excellent swordplay, the late Bob Anderson is probably the place to start. If you want hand to hand choreography, you’ve got more options, find someone who’s style looks good, and see if you can find other entries in their career where they’re actually coordinating the stunts.

Also, shows will trade off stunt coordinators, sometimes on an episode by episode basis, 24 had at least four different coordinators over the years. Films will sometimes trade off stunt coordinators when they shoot in different cities. So, if you’re looking at a specific fight, make sure you find the stunt coordinator from that episode or scene.

Everyone in stunts are criminally under-appreciated. These are often, very talented martial artists whose names you’ll never know. Tracking down a specific stunt fighter can be tricky, following their career can be even harder, but it is more likely to be useful than a loose list of random films and shows.

So, here’s the random list of films and shows that can get you started:

The Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings films have absolutely fantastic swordplay. Some of it is a bit over the top, Tolkien’s races of men aren’t really human, like the setting’s Elves and Dwarves, they’re a mythical race of super beings, so keep in mind that normal people can’t actually fight while being turned into an arrow pincushion.

Heat and Collateral. Both are focused on highly trained professional criminals with military backgrounds. Heat climaxes around the halfway mark with a North Hollywood shooting style bloodbath. Michael Mann’s work also deserves special mention for his commentaries. After you’ve watched Heat and Collateral, go back and rewatch them with the director’s commentary. Some of this is simple cinematography, or story development (which should still be useful for you), but some of it gets into his observations on criminology, and operations. The remake of Miami Vice also has a standout commentary from Mann (as I recall).

Spartan is focused on a semi-anonymous government operative. It’s treatment of violence is instructional. Also, if you’re writing characters with military hand to hand training, this is what they will do to people.

Strange Days. This is one of the rare films where the violence is really unsettling. It hammers home a lot of things we say on a regular basis, like how going up against multiple combatants is a losing game. (Also, one of the antagonists is a rapist who kills his victims, so a Trigger Warning: Rape is in full effect.)

Burn Notice, sometimes. The early seasons are better about this, but the narrator does offer some pretty solid advice, from talking about how to stage an ambush to explaining why you can’t just burst in shooting, this will give you a lot of the “why”, that controls what your characters do.

24. The writing’s hit or miss, and some of the seasons don’t really coalesce into a single story. You’ll probably learn more about staging and executing cliffhangers from the series (that is it’s forte), but it keeps the violence brief and explosive. It also goes through characters like kleenex, so it’s worth watching for that. The torture scenes waffle, and you’re going to have to use your own judgment on what you’ll accept. If you want to use torture, this is a good primer, then watch Burn Notice to remember why torture just doesn’t work.

If you’re dealing with a setting where some of your characters (particularly your villains) have superpowers, Blade Runner. Most of the combat in the film is unusually slow, as the replicants try to subdue their foes with their strength alone. It does show why the whole “stronger = better fighters” is crap. It’s also a fairly solid presentation of a character who is effectively a hired killer, going up against foes that can literally rip him limb from limb.

Highlander: The Series. Adrian Paul’s hand to hand form is a little unusual, but he is pretty good. The show alternates between actors someone tried to train in martial arts, and good martial artists turned actors. Still, there’s a lot of good swordplay, and writing that’s far better than it has any business being. If you’re wanting to write immortals of any streak (including especially vampires), this is a must see. The sword work in the first two seasons were choreographed by Bob Anderson, so, if you’re using swords, keep this one in mind.

If you’ve never seen it, watch Aliens. The first film is good, but not really relevant for this list. The important thing going in is that Aliens is a Vietnam war film set in space. Disciplined, well equipped soldiers up against a guerrilla force.

The film adaptation of Starship Troopers takes some of the same themes and pulls it clean into uncomfortable territory. I’m not going to recommend it for its combat, (though, that is well presented), but I would say it’s worth watching for the insight into military jingoism. Then realize you’ve been basically cheering for Nazis and now want to go vomit blood.

For reference: the film of Starship Troopers is a subversive parody, and the critical cue is seeing Paul Verhoeven’s name as the director. Similarly, Robocop (1987) is a pretty brutal take down of using violence to solve problems. Though, again, this is played straight.

Man on Fire (2004). I keep wanting to skip this one, but the fact is, it’s actually pretty good for what it’s doing. It also manages to convey, in a visceral sense how unexpected violence in the real world can feel. Though, I’ve probably spoiled that sensation by listing it on here. Forget that you read this here, forget the title, forget the fiery image on the cover and go watch it.

Sandbaggers is probably the most realistic presentation of violence in the espionage genre. Which is to say, avoiding it at all costs.

The only Tarantino film I’d actually recommend is Reservoir Dogs. The violence is self contained, and the bulk of the writing is the characters responding to the violence. This is actually some pretty smart writing, and you can probably learn something from it. (For the record, I like most of his work, but, it’s just not as applicable here.)

Mortal Combat (1995) is a goofy movie. But, as we’ve said before, the martial arts are technically good, and slow enough you can follow.

I almost never recommend video games, but, Spec Ops: The Line is an exception. (You can ignore the prior games in the franchise, they’re completely unrelated.) At first glance it looks like a conventional cover-based modern military shooter, it isn’t. The game isn’t particularly realistic, at least the combat isn’t, it’s also not conventionally “fun.” But, it is a very solid study of combat fatigue as well as the burdens and responsibilities of command.

This is a game that will make you do really horrible things, wear you down, and leave you numb and exhausted. If you want to tell the story of an action hero presented with real combat, you really need to play this. No, you need to play this. Nothing will cure a casual violence addiction faster.

Watching LP videos won’t carry the same effect, this is one of those times where you really need to be the one responsible for your actions, to get the full effect.

This is a Heart of Darkness homage (it’s not really an adaptation), if you want a hint of where it’s going thematically.

(Also, TW: Violence, because Spec Ops gets really messed up in a way nothing else on the list approaches.)

-Starke

anonymous asked:

Im desperately in love with your namjin avatar!au, if youre ever inspired seeing how they meet the rest of bangtan in that au would be awesome!!

OH MAN i was in love with that au too tbh even tho i never wrote the rest orz like

EDIT: THIS IS LITERALLY SO FUCKING LONG AND I WANTED TO CUT DOWN BUT I ENDED UP NOT BEING ABLE TO SO UNLESS YOU’RE WILLING TO SLOG THROUGH LONG PARAGRAPHS AND HAVE ABOUT LIKE TWENTY MINUTES FREE TO SPEND READING RANDOM AVATAR AU HEADCANON DON’T READ. 

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Sorry, I had to submit this.

This is the top 12 things that piss me off about the trailer, and I think you’d agree with me.

1. What kind of parent would send their young child off to a park that has dinosaurs in it. Did they forget about what happened in 1993 when TWO scientists both wrote a book about the situation and said,”THIS SHOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED. WE NEED TO STOP TAMPERING WITH SCIENCE BECAUSE IT CANNOT BE CONTROLLED.” , or when a T-REX CAME TO LAND AND ATE A WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE.

2. CGI “Jurassic World” gate.

3. Nobody would go to this park. Jurassic Park 1 is like the Titanic, it sank (or failed). When John Hammond’s nephew tried to remake the park, everyone died again, and John Hammond made AN APOLOGY ON TV FOR CREATING THESE ANIMALS AND SAID,”HEY WE SHOULD LEAVE THEM ALONE.”. So I ask you this : If the Titanic sank, and then they made a Titanic 2 and that sank.. Would you even go on Titanic 3??

4. Would anybody go on a lazy river ride IN THE JUNGLE WITH DINOSAURS? No. Especially because you see like 3 Stegosauruses RIGHT THERE with their spiked tails that can kill people. I don’t know if you guys have ever gone on the JP ride at Universal Studios, but the opening where there are the dinosaurs in the river… It’s terrifying enough being in a vehicle, and not just floating down the river.

5. That really stupid ball thing that they drive around.

6. A great white being eaten, and the whole water dinosaur thing. The thing that made Jurassic Park so interesting when talking about dinosaurs is the fact that it proved that life cannot be controlled. I think Dr.Grant said it best in the line “The T-Rex doesn’t want to be fed, he wants to hunt. You can’t suppress 65 million years of gut instinct.”. Or how about Malcom’s line? “The T-Rex doesn’t follow set patterns, or park schedules.. The essence of chaos!” Yet, apparently this dinosaur does.

7. “From Executive Producer Steven Spielberg” basically says, “He didn’t do anything on this movie, but we’re using his name to get more money.”

8. A genetically modified hybrid dinosaur. I don’t even have to state the problem with that. I actually agree with Chris Pratt’s line,”You just went and made a new dinosaur? Probably not a good idea.”

9. So this new dinosaur is taller than 40 feet high, so they’re gonna play up the whole “WE’RE BETTER THAN THE T-REX” thing. I’m sorry but no one will ever be as cool as the T-Rex in JP 1 (cue the nostalgia critic t-rex song).

10. All that I’m picturing is Godzilla.

11. When they start playing the really slow emotional theme from the end of Jurassic Park at the most awkward time in the trailer, when they’re showing people fleeing.

12. CHRIS PRATT DRIVING A MOTORCYLE/TEAMING UP WITH A PACK OF RAPTORS, LMAO!!!!!!! THAT’S ACTUALLY THE STUPIDEST THING THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN.

that really stupid ball thing. LOL
this person is upset :\

anonymous asked:

ok au... Hannibal is a top rated chef and Will is a hard to please food critic. Cue fighting over a bad review and Hannibal being obstinate about changing Will's mind regarding his food even though he shouldn't care. Bonus food mag gossip Freddy

OH my god like hannibal invites will to his own restaurant for private meals and this escalates to him having him over his house and before they realize it they’ve been having a least weekly dinners and it’s the most social contact they’ve had in years and don’t know if they are friends or dating or if the other one is even gay and it just gets wildly out of control