cube-entertainment

Every major company is messing up big time

YG: abusive towards artists, seemingly a misogynist, prevents his groups from succeeding, prevented his wife from becoming a successful artist because he wanted to usurp her time and affection, in the face of a scandal he does nothing and just shoves said artist even further into the dungeon

JYP: cares more about his own comebacks than that of his groups, Twice and GOT7 are doing well but that’s due to members constantly promoting themselves (Jackson, Dahyun, BamBam, Tzuyu), 2PM only got like three weeks of work last year, Miss A comes back once in a blue moon or whenever Suzy feels like it, and 2AM probably doesn’t even exist anymore, also Wonder Girls (probably what JYP said)

SM: SuJu and f(x) are constantly being put on the backburner for other groups, TVXQ just in general, SNSD kicked Jessica, EXO lost three members in 4 years and they are currently being sued by said members, they’re debuting a new group that they are in no way prepared to promote or manage well, and basically everything went to hell in a handbasket after LSM stepped down

Cube: 4Minute is on the verge of collapsing, BEAST isn’t getting the promotions or comebacks they deserve and is falling apart at the seams, BTOB isn’t getting the time of day, and ACube renamed itself in order to avoid the backlash of impending collapse of its parent company and save APink

FNC: AOA only gets one comeback a year, Youkyung gets to play music when the stars align, F.T. Island and CNBlue work hard to prepare comebacks and then FNC releases the songs with no teaser and no hype which results in the comebacks not doing as well as they should/could

DSP: made a big friggin deal about finding a new KARA member only to have KARA disband a year later leaving the new member with nothing

Pledis: where’s After School? it’s been like three friggin years and now the most popular members (Uee and Orange Caramel) are preparing to graduate, Seventeen gets nothing from them in terms of financial support

Star Empire: ZE:A got so little group activity that one of the youngest members decided to enlist and the other members are now trying to make it as actors rather than singers

Woollim: INFINITE is an amazing group that only gets one comeback a year, if they got two they’d have EXO level of popularity, what’s going on with Tasty???, why did you wait so long to give Woohyun a solo???

Starship: WHERE THE HELL IS SISTAR?!?!??!!!??

TL:DR Kpop Companies

YG: Has lots of dungeons for their artists but lets the Dragon roam free. Only cares about 1/5 of the members in every group. Artists always in fear of being kicked out “the family”.

JYP: Never knows how to handle drama. Idols don’t leave, they disappear. Avid supporter of the foreign exchange program. Recruits for personalities. Firm believer that talent can be taught.

SM: Idols are created in their top secret labs. Prefers to call their idols by their product names. Finally perfected the perfect slave contract for their foreign artists. Doesn’t believe in the concept of “rest”.

Big Hit: Honestly just as surprised and excited as the rest of the world by their popularity. Could put the name BTS on a moldy slice of bread and fans would give their life savings to buy it. Has more than one group on their label but promotes them only when it’s a full moon and the pigs are flying.

Pledis: Recruits fetuses and ignores child labor laws. Unable to manage more than one group at a time. Forces idols of different groups to share the same dried up crusty old weaves and hair clips.

Starship: Revels in making their artists cry. Quietly shelves older groups. Cares a lot about their soloists. Thinks that skin is always “in”.

TS: *Advised by lawyers to not submit a description without legal representation but probably in a corner licking their wounds and looking stupid at actually having to pay their artists*

Cube: Having a tough year. Learned the hard way they can’t play favorites. Tries to distract you from their inner company damages by releasing vocally blessed ballad after ballad.

Jellyfish: Basically doing everything right. Gives their idols breathing room and space. Sits back and let’s the money roll in.