cthulhu rising



No.1: GOE +2.71 (*)
No.2: GOE +2.00 (**)
No.3: GOE +2.14 (**)
No.4: Single is the new quad
No.5: “Sure I messed up but it doesn’t matter because I’m Yuzuru Hanyu”
No.6: “I did a #yoloaxel out of an Ina Bauer the other week, how hard can it be to do one out of a hydroblade? ‘kay, turned out it’s pretty hard”
No.7: “Watch me do this impossible thing and watch me sulk when it fails”

(*) Judges were drunk
(**) Judges were hungover from fundraising parties for new prescription glasses


An obscure god, said to watch at the center of all time as the universe revolves. Because of this insight, only Yog-Sothoth is said to be wiser. Its blood, the Black, is a weapon which takes the form of black snowflakes that stick to and smother a victim. The god’s touch causes an instant change in the person affected—this change is usually fatal but occasionally brings some benefit. Yibb-Tstll is sometimes described as an immobile, dark, tentacled entity with a pulpy, alien head, detached eyes, and large bat wings under which countless Nightgaunt suck black milk from its innumerable breasts.

Functions with anxiety

Ti: Literally overthink everything until what seemed like a manageable problem is now a multi-step solution from hell.

Te: Structure absolutely everything, because if one damn thing is out of place Cthulhu will rise again.

Ne: Every single possible bad scenario existing in the brain at one time.

Ni: Prophesying your death nearly every single second. You’re gonna choke on that orange chicken and you know it, dammit.

Si: Remembering everything that has ever gone wrong. Knowing history repeats itself.

Se: Everything is a disaster. 1000 ways to die is now your life.

Fe: Everyone hates you and your dog is going to shit on your grave. Also someone is plotting your death because you were kinda sarcastic.

Fi: A totalitarian government is going to kill you, but they can’t kill your morals. They can still kill you real dead though.