In King Lear (III:vii) there is a man who is such a minor character that Shakespeare has not given him even a name: he is merely “First Servant.” All the characters around him – Regan, Cornwall, and Edmund – have fine long-term plans. They think they know how the story is going to end, and they are quite wrong. The servant has no such delusions. He has no notion of how the play is going to go. But he understands the present scene. He sees an abomination (the blinding of old Gloucester) taking place. He will not stand it.
His sword is out and pointed at his master’s breast in a moment: then Regan stabs him dead from behind. That is his whole part: eight lines all told. But if it were real life and not a play, that is the part it would be best to have acted.
Summary: In which Killian confesses to David and Emma. Spoilers for 6x12.
Notes: I had a lot of feelings about the end of 6x12. Title from The Quality of Mercy by William Shakespeare. Much love and gratitude to my instrumental wife @ripplestitchskein for reading this through for me.
The worst of it, Killian thinks, is that for a moment, he doesn’t recall the man’s face.
He was nothing but a liability, standing between his crew and enough riches to carry him from one day to the next, bleeding out a living until he could sink his hook into the crocodile’s neck. And he doesn’t recognize David’s father at first, because he’d been merely one in the stream, one of the nameless voices that whispers to him late at night, or early in the morning, growing louder and louder, until he’s forced out of bed – and out of the endearingly tight circle of Emma’s arms – to wander along the line where the town meets the sea.
Only now, this one has a name, and the longer and harder he peers down at the drawing, the more familiar he seems. Not only from a hazy memory, but from the set of his brow, the swell of his cheeks, features he sees in the man he now calls his friend, and in the woman he longs to call his wife. And here, in the midnight shadows of the home he shares with her, he holds tight to the incriminating pages, a wisp of the darkness still stirring in his heart suggesting he surrender them to the sea.
After the final battle, Killian and Emma finally find their way home. (I like imagining the conversations we never see, and the sexy times that follow) rated M, 1200 words
The walk up to their door seems endless, both of them clinging to the last tendrils of adrenaline keeping them upright after a hellishly long day. Killian’s lost track of the hour, but his body feels every minute spent, muscles still burning from his climb and fall from the beanstalk, head aching from clenching his teeth as Emma performed her Savior’s sacrifice before his eyes. Her fingers give his a gentle squeeze causing her wedding ring to press against his and like a rope snapping loose in the wind, he becomes completely untethered. Eyes burning with overflowing emotion, he stops, turns and gathers her close, tucking his face into her hair as hot tears splash down over his cheeks.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
Shaking his head, he just pulls her in tighter, not sure of how to express the weight of everything crashing down over him, just knowing he needs to hold her and allow himself a moment to find his bearings. Her woolen cap is slightly rough against his temple, but it’s so achingly Emma that he finds himself leaning further into it, the threads drying the tracks of his tears. Keeping his hook anchored against her back, he loosens his grip on her jacket so he can cup her cheek with his hand, forcing a shaky smile upon his lips as he finds her worried eyes with his own.
“Sorry, Swan, it’s been an exceedingly trying day.”
Even though it nearly drowned us in angst, we have to appreciate how healthy that conversation actually was.
“I swear to you, I wanted to tell you, I tried. And then you found that ring and I just couldn’t bear to ruin that happiness.”
~ he doesn’t dance around it, goes right for the truth, explains the situation and why he chose to act the way he did; that it was coming from a place of love.
“How could you do this?”
~ she asks with shock, and hurt. He doesn’t know what she’s talking about at first - he thinks she’s talking about killing her grandpa but what she’s really talking about is burning his own memories. The way she says it with a hint of concern, like even though she’s mad, she’s hurting for him because if he’s gonna resort to such drastic measures, this must be eating him up inside.
“I’ve been asking myself the same question, and all I can say is that I was a broken man for a very long time and I did horrendous things..”
~ THIS! LINE! IS! SO! IMPORTANT! Because he was a broken man and the fact that he recognizes that his deeds were horrendous proves how much he’s changed. And the fact that he’s sharing with her that he knows he was broken - ugh. Beautiful.
“I’m not talking about that I’m talking about this. You were about to burn your own memories why would you do that?”
~ Here the concern for him is even more prominent in her tone. It almost sounds like she’s going to cry. She’s so concerned that he was going to burn some part of his past, because she loves every part of him, including his wrongdoings.
“Because I was ashamed, Emma. And scared losing you and everything that matters to me.”
~ She is everything to him. He is terrified of losing her. Do I even need to say more like omg.
“You really think that would happen after everything we’ve been through?”
~ this is her having 100% confidence in what they have. They have made it through darkness and DEATH, and that proved to her that together they can do anything. She’s surprised and hurt that he doesn’t feel the same way. Why doesn’t he? is what she’s she’s wondering.
“How am I supposed to sit across from your mother and father at the table and look them in the eye after what I’ve done?”
~ He’s letting her know how guilty he feels. How he’s terrified he’ll be rejected. They’re just laying all their feelings on the table and it’s so healthy I can’t even
“I’m not saying it would be easy. You know them, you know they would forgive you, that’s who they are.”
~ She’s validating his feelings, saying yes, it will be a big hurdle. But then she also reassures him that he is loved so much but not just her, and that nothing he does or says will get him kicked out of their lives. Ever.
“This isn’t just about them, this is about me. I already destroyed my own family once and that was hard enough but knowing that I destroyed yours too, I just…I didn’t know how I could live with that.”
~ YESSSSSS Killian. This is about you. And that is perfectly okay like it is 1000000% okay for you to worry about yourself instead of everyone else (including Emma) for once. You need to heal and this is the way to start, by telling the woman that you love that this is how you feel and where your head is at. Good job precious pirate good job!
“You come to me Hook, and you lean on me, and you trust ME!”
~ Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh the knife-in-the-gut line. The most beautiful line in my opinion. Cause it came from the mouth of Emma Swan, who spent her life leaning on no one. Who, after Neal, had a necklace that she wore to remind her never to trust ANYONE. And now she has a life partner that she trusts so completely and has leaned on countless, countless times (When she was watching her mother die, when she almost froze to death, when she was confused about Lily, when she was mad at her parents, all throughout Camelot, when she admitted she wanted a future but was scared, when she was in the underworld and had a scary vision, like a million bazillion times she’s gone to him and leaned on him) and now all she wants is to return the favour for him. And frankly she’s devastated that he doesn’t feel like he can lean on her. Like he is my rock, why aren’t I his? is what is going through her mind. ASDFGHJKL.
“We have to stop hiding things from each other.”
~ She doesn’t just blame him, she knows she’s hid things from him before too and might some day do it again. They both need to stop in order for this to work.
“The man I fell in love with would know that. You would know that we would do things together.”
~ Telling him that this together thing all originated from him. She fell in love with him because he earned her trust, but never took the lead from her; they always worked together as a team. Together. And all she wants is for them to be doing that now (and for the rest of their lives).
~ the way he splutters it. He’s so in love with her and wants to kiss her for saying these soulful things. She’s opening up to him and pouring out her soul and telling him she loves him in a poetic, wordy way, which is NOT her specialty. But at the same time his heart is aching. He’s done the last thing he wants to do in life. He’s hurt her. Fuck.
“That is what I agreed to marry. That is what I thought we were together.”
~ Again, emphasis on the together, two halves of a whole. And telling him the reason she wanted to marry him so badly - because she feels safe with him. She can trust him. She can lean on him. And she thought she was that for him, too. And if she’s not? Well, they need to fix that before they can move forward.
“Until you’re ready for that..” *removes ring* “Then we can talk.”
~ A bit of tough love, but it’s for his own good. She is NOT rejecting him or breaking up with him or some bullshit like that. Their love means more than that. She’s just telling him “Hey. I love you. And I am so, so ready to marry you. But I want our engagement to be happy and pure. And it is anything but happy and pure right now. So until we figure this out, take this back. And work through your feelings. And if you need me, I will be right here.”
Like. GUYS. I am NOT here for angst but I am SO HERE FOR THIS PORTRAYAL OF WHAT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP SHOULD BE LIKE.
Captain Swan fandom (and anybody else who’d like to participate!), come join in on the popcorn fun on Twitter this Sunday during Once Upon a Time! During the episode (or whenever you watch, honestly), tweet a pic of yourself enjoying a nice bowl of popcorn (in whatever way you enjoy it!) using the hashtag #CSPopcornParty!
This is just a super casual thing (no trend attempt) to just spread some love and fun for Captain Swan as a group. So if you’re in on join in on the ‘party’, feel free!!
(And also feel free to reblog or retweet if you’d like!)
Do you, Killian Jones take this woman to be your wife and love her for all eternity? Do you, Emma Swan, take this man to be your husband and love him for all eternity?
Archie during the CS wedding ceremony.
This gave me Chills. (Yes, Chills with a capital “c”). Could not have come up with a better wording if I tried. For this couple, this amazing, wonderful, couple of dreams, “till death do you part” just doesn’t cut it, because death can’t destroy their love. Death can’t break their bond. Their hearts are united for all eternity.
If anyone needs me, I’ll be busy ugly sobbing uncontrollably from the sheer perfection of it all.
“I’m wooing you,” he said, without a trace of sarcasm in his voice. “Of course.”
“Of course,” Emma repeated. Her voice didn’t shake, but her shoulders were tight and she was sitting up straighter, eyes falling on the impeccably polished silverware in front of her. And he realized she hadn’t been exaggerating before – she really didn’t understand.
She thought he was lying. Or faking. Or some sort of thing that had the walls nearly as high as ever. Well, this was a siege – of sorts.
And he’d get her to trust him by the time tonight was over.
He was going to tell her.
AN: HAPPY DATE NIGHT! Here is another 8K of feelings and fluff and they CAN’T STOP MAKING OUT ACROSS SEVERAL DIFFERENT NEW YORK CITY BOROUGHS. @laurnorder dealt with some vaguely absurd typos in this one, so go tell her how fantastic she is, internet.
Flufflet #1 for @lifeinahole27, to help reward her for writing her CSBB story!
First up, some wedding (reception) related fluff–
Emma had initially been opposed to having a redo wedding reception, but once it became clear that the whole town viewed it as the opportunity to have a really baller victory party, there was very little she could do to argue against it.
So everyone all got dressed up again, went back to the rooftop, and enjoyed the wedding reception that should have happened a week earlier. And Emma had to admit, it was kind of a blast, eating, drinking, laughing, and dancing the whole night.
Her feet were killing her as they pulled up to the house once the party ended. Snow and Regina had both objected pretty vehemently to Emma being the one to drive, but Killian was still learning how to drive stick, so what else were they supposed to do? Besides, they had to drive home; Henry had decorated the Bug with streamers and cans and a “Just Married (Last Week)” sign.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Killian said as they climbed up the front steps.
“Let’s do this properly.” He reached down and lifted her up in a bridal carry.
“Killian, we did this already.” They had; right after the final battle, he’d carried her over the threshold, insisting that this was going to be their wedding night, come hell or high water.
“Well, now we’re doing it again. Don’t argue with me.” And over the threshold they went.
“I need something to drink,” she said, before he could carry her up the stairs. “Come on, we’ll do the whole wedding night thing, I just want some time to breathe, okay?” God, how did couples go right to wedding night sex after their wedding receptions? All she wanted to do right now was sit and watch TV. Was that normal?
He set her down and wandered into the living room while she busied herself in the kitchen. “Want anything?”
“Perhaps some water–with a little lemon juice in it.”
“Oh, good idea.” She grabbed and extra glass and grabbed the bottle of lemon juice from the fridge. Killian hated it, preferring to use real lemons all the time, but she liked the convenience.
He was smiling at her, almost like he was dazed, as she sat down beside him and handed him his glass. He took a quick gulp and then settled his left arm around her. “I had a lovely time tonight.”
“Me, too.” Mmm, yeah, the lemon had been a good idea. “I’m just glad Gold didn’t kill you on the spot when you offered to shake his hand. Did you hit your head or something?”
“Inviting him and Belle was your idea.”
“Yeah, because Belle’s one of your close friends. We had to invite Gold because we invited her.”
He snorted. “Are you truly upset that I’m trying to put the past behind me and make peace with him?”
“No, just … I’m surprised, I guess. I just thought maybe you’d settle for not murdering each other.”
“He’s a father again, and he’s trying to make things work with Belle. I suppose the best way to keep him from relapsing is to ensure he has the same safety net that I have.”
“Noble.” She sipped her water.
“I try.” She let out a long sigh without thinking. “Something wrong?”
“No, just … I’m glad we got to have our wedding. I didn’t get to really appreciate just how fantastic you look in that tux.”
He grinned. “Aye, and now I can tell you just how beautiful you are in your gown. You look like a swan.”
“No,” she said, her face hot.
“Well, perhaps more so when you wore your veil.” She’d taken it off halfway through the night, and if she was being honest, she had no idea where it went. Oops. “But I stand by my comment.”
“Swans are vicious,” she reminded him.
“And elegant.” He gave her a strange look. “Those earrings look familiar.”
She blushed. “Yeah?”
“Yes. Where have I seen them before?”
“Our first date.”
The look of wonder on his face was enough to make her want to melt. “Really?” She nodded. “Well, they’re lovely.”
“And that date was lovely,” she said. “Your own issues aside.”
“Oy, I think I’ve suffered enough for that one.”
They sat quietly for a bit as they sipped their water. When he finished his, he set it down on the coffee table (on a coaster of course), and took her free hand in his. “I can’t believe we’re married.”
“We’ve been married for a week,” she reminded him. She began to toy with his rings.
“Aye, and in a week, I’ll still wake up and think about how strange it is that we’re married.”
“I know what you mean.” She still felt almost giddy that she had a husband.
She wished little kid Emma could see this–that she’d grow up to be a literal princess who was married to the hottest man to ever walk the earth. Hell, she wished twenty-eight-year-old Emma Swan could see this; it would have been way more mind-blowing than the son she gave up for adoption showing up to tell her fairy tales were real. Or at least equally unbelievable.
Something felt different. “Whoa.”
“Well, I had to remove it to wear my wedding ring.”
“No, I know. I meant the other two.”
“What about them?”
“Aye. Swan, you’re very astute.”
“Killian,” she said firmly. “We’ve known each other for a long time now, and you’ve always worn the same three rings. What gives?”
He sighed. “I’ll never entirely be free of my past,” he said quietly. “I can’t erase the harm I’ve done, the people I’ve killed, the destruction I’ve caused. But I want our future together to be a happy one. I want to spend my days building something with you, with our family. It’s why I’m trying to make peace with the Crocodile.”
“If you’re trying to make peace with him, you might want to stop calling him that,” she interjected. He glared at her. “Sorry.”
“As I was saying, my darling wife.” His irritation was fond, at least. “Those rings were always reminders of the man I was. For a long time, I assumed I would always wear them, as a way of never letting myself forget to stay on the right path. But I had to part with one of them so I could wear my wedding ring, and it made me realize …” He took a deep breath. “My ring symbolizes all that now. I look at it, and I think of you and our life together. I don’t need the other reminders anymore. And so I decided it was time to find some new rings.”
“I think that’s great.” She lifted his hand up and kissed each ring, ending on the wedding band. She loved seeing it on his hand; she didn’t think she’d ever get tired of it. “I do like the new rings a lot.”
“I’m glad. Your family helped pick them out.”
“Well, mostly your mother and Regina,” he admitted. “But your father and Henry approved the final choices.”
She looked down at his hand again. She’d grown so familiar with his old rings that the new ones had felt all wrong. But now? They weren’t wrong anymore.
God, she loved him too much. And now he was her husband.
No, Sprite, you definitely aren’t. I think you and I have even talked about this before.
If there was only one instance where the writing didn’t match the image they’re supposedly portraying (CS as a fairy tale romance), I would put it down to a missed beat in the narrative, a message that didn’t have the effect intended, but there’s too many of those missed beats if this is supposed to be a romance. The writing is too jarring if this is supposed to be taken straight, and these writers aren’t idiots, despite what people think. They’re not idiots when they can create brilliant characters like Rumple, Belle, and Regina, who HAVE remained consistent. Those missed beats are being deliberately hit. If they weren’t, they would have fixed it by now. They haven’t. In fact, they’ve made it worse, way worse.
Hook’s lies/evasions about Will and Ariel in season four, the fact that Emma is blithely uncaring about his past, the fact that she still doesn’t know Hook gave Bae to Pan, those flowers linked to TWO other couples where betrayal was the order of the day in Camelot, her turning him into a Dark One against his express wishes (he BEGGED her not to), her concealing his murder of Merlin, his taunts and insults in “Broken Heart”, his anger at her in the Underworld, their kissing over Robin’s body AND her parents’ in this last episode, her inability to live without him for two days and her attacking Gideon with dark magic, her general pallor and unhappiness and fear…and now the Grace Kelly gown of the entombed bride. That’s not a romance! They’re deliberately not writing a romance: they’re writing a cautionary tale, whatever ABC want, the fans think they’re getting, and JMo thinks she’s portraying.
And to add even more evidence to the trolling theory, the way they write RumBelle is MILES apart from the way they write CS. Rumple screws up, Belle screams at him and walks away. Rumple accepts it, respects her agency and doesn’t threaten or insult her (not counting when they were fighting over Gideon - then he didn’t respect her agency and made a vague threat about Rumplestiltskin taking babies, but there was never a threat against her person or family, like with Hook). Belle never lets him away with his shit, but always tries to reach the core of humanity in him, and expects and hopes for better from him, even when things seem at their very worst. He listens, takes her words to heart, and makes steps to improve his behaviour. And, when she does the worst thing she could possibly do to him (because of what she thinks he’s done to her) - taking his son from him when he’s already lost one - he doesn’t threaten or insult her like Hook did Emma, he backs off and makes an emphatic declaration that he’d never, ever hurt her.
So, the writers write this beautiful, nuanced, complicated, deeply emotional relationship between two people who clearly love each other (even at their worst that’s obvious), but have their issues, and they write CS, the squickiest, most toxic relationship I personally have ever had the displeasure to witness. They’re like day and night to each other. If they can do it right with RumBelle, hit all the appropriate beats for who they are and how they react to each other’s actions, why can’t they do it right with CS? My only answer is because they’re CHOOSING to do it wrong. They’re writing RumBelle as the romance and CS as the cautionary tale: that’s the only thing that makes sense. ABC can promote what they want, the media can squeal over the ‘romance’, the fans can lap it up, JMo can think she’s playing Emma as open to love and happiness, but that isn’t what’s being written: that’s perfectly clear.