Being Killian

I believe that Killian would be more outraged with Gold for how he impersonated him. So I am making a course (with Killian cooperation) about the way Killian really is:

First: Never ever I walk in that undignified manner

(Such lack of style Rumpel)

Always with grace and elegance

(With the sexy swagger we all love)

Second: Swan is the love of my life, I would never look at Emma in this horrid and appalling way

I am unable to look at her in other way than lovingly

(You are so beautiful and fantastic Swan)

Third: About the lady Belle; we have our encounters in the past, but we have resolved them, so I don’t look at her like that

Or try to manipulate her

We have developed a friendship, and I don’t like her suffering

(can I hug you now Killian? you are so cute)

Fourth: never, and I repeat never, drink rum it that way. It is really outrageous to waste rum drinking on teacups

Rum must be managed properly

Fifth: if you know me a little you know I have a great tolerance to pain. Some simple bruishes 

would never stop me from helping my Swan. I will always stand up

Six: A pirate never make oath in that ridiculous way

It must be heartbreaking and significative

And the most important part: never ever I would kiss the Emma Swan like I am kissing a wall

She deserve to be cherished and pampered in every kiss

Checklist for a really good kiss:

Let’s review:

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LAST ONE-

IN CONCLUSION:

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A Strongly Worded Something + A CS Two-Shot (Part 1)

This once started out as a strongly worded rant from my dear friend @jscoutfinch that was going to be a strongly worded complaint letter…..but instead, became this ridiculous little thing which will have another part to it soon. So Jen, happy belated holidays to you and may you have no more bad days for me to draw inspiration from :] rated M for lovely language and for eventual….well, you know. 

Oh, and ahem: The Following Fic Is Based On Actual Events. (because who ever thought I’d get to say that?!)


Damn Toyota. Stupid god damn Toyota. Emma should have known it was going to be one of those mornings the moment she rolled out of bed roughly three too many snooze buttons later. She’d bent several traffic laws in an effort to get into work quickly, racing the clock and entering the coffee shop with a relieved sigh when the time on her wrist confirmed her victory. Well, that was until she ran into Ruby walking out of the break room.

“Hey Em,” Ruby smiled, pouring something into one of the blenders and flipping the switch so she had to yell over the sound. “What did you get for your gag gift?”

“My what?”

“Your gag gift - you know, for the Christmas party,” Ruby explained, increasing her already very loud tone. “It’s tomorrow night at seven. Did you forget?”

“Oh,” Emma said after a moment. “Uh, no….”

Son of a bitch. Yes, it was surely one of those mornings that was quickly turning into one of those days.

Her lunch break couldn’t come fast enough. The moment Ruby gave her the go ahead, she dashed to her car - one she’d finally purchased after a couple years of mixing lattes and serving biscotti to early risers - and peeled out on her way out of the packed parking lot.

Target, she grinned. That place would definitely have something ridiculous she could use as a last minute present.

It had all worked out so much quicker than she’d planned - her purchase being some odd little trinket that looked like a squirrel even though she had no idea what in the hell its purpose was. She’d smirked a bit when she found it, once again amused at the randomness that stocked the aisles. Making it through the checkout line in record time, Emma glanced down at the hour on her watch again - twenty minutes to spare. Thank god. She was starving.

Fiddling with her keys while swinging her bag with the opposite hand, she navigated the parking lot right back to the driver’s side of her car. Shaking the ring of assorted metal, she finally landed on the one she was looking for and slammed it into the ignition. She was in the process of pondering which road might lead her to the fastest lunch options when she turned the key - and nothing happened. Well, nothing except a god awful buzzing noise that really didn’t clarify much.

“What the hell….”

Emma asked the question out loud to herself as she attempted a few more times to coax the engine into operation. She slumped back against the seat after a moment, perplexed but totally pissed off simultaneously.

This was not happening.

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