SO i was in the second grade, right? and as a kid i was always fascinated by shit like cryptids and myths and legends idk why. and ONE FATEFUL DAY i happened to stumble across the tale of the jersey devil (i’m like 90% sure it was on poptropica). i think to myself, WOW HOLY SHIT I *LIVE* IN NEW JERSEY! and so i start reading up on it more. i somehow get it into my head that MAYBE, just MAYBE, if i searched for it at the fields of my elementary school, i could fucking find myself a cryptid.
but of course, i needed a team first. i recruited my friends emily and ellie, and this bitchy half-friend sarah i had at the time heard about it too so i had to include her.
i tell them all about my plans and they go along with it just fine, but it seems i forgot to mention not to tell anyone else. which is, of course, EXACTLY what sarah did. a couple more kids joined our search party every day, and slowly but surely, we had gathered the entire fucking second grade and then some to go on a wild goose chase for an urban legend.
this went on for about two fucking months, if i remember correctly. every single day, a stampede of overgrown toddlers trying to be the steve irwin of cryptozoology fucking usain bolted out of class at recess to go and hunt the jersey devil on school property.
and one day.
i distinctly remember my good pal lilly, @totallytubulars, and her good pal jimmy (god bless him), finding a torn up box on the field.
kids lost their fucking minds.
in that week alone, there was so much fucking chaos (between the supposed “thump” noise in the boxcars and the mysterious treeline to the left of the school) that the teachers literally had to force us to stop “hunting.”
but they never called anyone out for it.
and you know why?
because they didn’t know who the source was.
anyways, that’s the story of how i got the entire second grade to look for the jersey devil thank you and goodnight