i’m sorry we didn’t last. i’m sorry you couldn’t stay. i thought we’d have more time because, god, were you good at pretending you’d be able to love me forever.
—  i can still feel your fingers roaming across my skin (myheartin—words)
Dear future child,
If it’s 3am and you find yourself in a world of complete despair
Please do not turn to strangers on the internet for solace as I did
Please climb onto my bed
And I will hold you until the demons sleep
If it’s Thursday morning and you are too sad to move
I won’t force you
I will buy ice cream and we will watch your favourite tv show and I will remind you of your importance
If you feel as if you have no purpose
I will remind you that you were created entirely with love and every pain you feel, I feel it too
When you’re sure you can’t go on anymore
I will tell you that when I was 21 I searched for peace at the bottom of a vodka bottle chased by a bottle of pain killers
But five years later
When you were in placed in my arms in the delivery room
I realised that you were what I had been holding on
Without realising it, you saved me, do you know how amazing that is?
So if you ever feel like grabbing that vodka bottle but it down, we will get in the car and I will drive until the sky turns into you favourite colour
I will show you how the sun rises every morning to encourage you to rise too
Sweetheart I refuse to be unaware of your sufferings
As my mother was to mine