crying what did i do

#Choicescreates23 : How choices changed my life 

I started playing choices around October or November of last year and I remember telling myself “oh this is intriguing and I love the game design but I’ll probably delete this in the following 5 minutes” narrator : She did not.

I came across Choices at a moment where university was too much, I was lonely, away from my family it was my second year and my only friend went back home since she was abroad for the year so yeah it got really lonely. I was willing to meet people but I didn’t have good experiences these past years with friendship, I ended up giving up all together and I just got very depressed and anxious, my grades were average it was a whole new educational system I didn’t figure out and still kind of don’t understand and long story short I needed to escape this. I started playing the freshman and fell in love with the book, I related so much to my Mc, the struggles the banter etc… the only thing I didn’t experience was getting along with my suitemates they were kind of obnoxious and inconsiderate but oh well I had them :’) 

Couple of months later I stumbled across Holly’s blog and I realize a fandom existed, I was addicted to choices and wanted to exchange but I had no one to do it with so I made a blog with the sole purpose to read more things about it and lurk. I think my first reblog was a picture of Zac Efron along with Michael B. Jordan cause I was trying to figure out how tumblr works, I’m such a noob! And my first real post is the edit of Chris I did, took so long to bled his hair haha and honestly I wasn’t comfortable with photshop but it worked out kinda okay and anyway this is what got me started among the fandom. I wasn’t a lurker anymore I had stuff to share, opinions, points etc… I remember thinking and thinking and overthinking “should I just try choicescreates?” after debating and wrestling mentally with myself I just decided to do it anyway,  it had been more than 6 or 8 months since I last drew something, hadn’t drawn anyrhing and I was kind of rusty ! 

I just tried it out for the fun anyway and my first ever art posted is the Zig in the jacket thingy lmao I’m cringing a lot now that I see it but man I stared at it for so long I was blown away by the result cause honestly I wasn’t expecting it to work out my style was way different back then, I was struggling between an anime-ish cartoony style with no real realism, no technique my anatomy sucked and I lacked technique so I didn’t know what to expect and everyone supported it so much I legit cried. Something I wasn’t sure about made me smile for what, a week??? I took so much fun doing it as well that I had that sparkle again I knew what I wanted to do with my blog, so yeah I kept on doing it and doing what I love, more people came to support, I’m part of a fandamily, with the nicest people I have ever met and the most supportive ! I legit wanted to throw up and I had saved the file in my draft I was about to chicken out and never post but I closed my eyes and I hit send and I went to take a shower and I was shaking 😂 when I came back I had all these lovely responses and I cried on my floor I was shaking still!

I never shared my art outside of my family because I’m really insecure about it but hey guess what choices did for me ? I don’t think of myself as a boring person anymore, I have a twin sister and my best friends here, I share my passion everyday and I exchange over something I love, less scared maybe even bolder, more confident in myself ! It basically made me grow up, since I played the game I spoke to several people!

I am proud of myself and of how far I’ve gone, this game made me grow up honestly. I feel like it has taught me several subjects and talking with people with different experiences from mines opened perspectives I wouldn’t have thought of before? It also helped me out with slangs linguistically speaking and man it feels good to understand now and to use them everyday lmao ! haha I have a fun fact about this but I don’t want it to be longer than it already is 

@kittenmusicals‘ post inspired this one since she shared her lovely experience I wanted put my two cents in, is it how you say it?? 

@hollyashton and @texanhusker this is my entry this week

It’s only the beginning of this jouney and I still have so much to learn I’m about to go aboad for the first time and even when things will get too much I know I have people I can count on and this warms my heart 

So Thank you choices and pixelberry for the wonderful journey and the amazing people for all the support for making me feel like I too matter that I don’t have to be scared all the time, to second guess myself that I’m worth more and that I shouldn’t sell myself short oh so often ! It’s a real work on myself, Tumblr is my therapy! 😂

I’m so sappy now, sorry I’m grossely sappy! That’s about it thank you all seriously ! I love you !  ♥️

trash-mammall  asked:

I think I might cry your art is /so beautiful what on earth/??? the shape of what you draw in general is gorgeous but the way you do shading, lighting, and colour just adds so much wowowow. your work is honestly inspiring, the way you put colours together. thank you so much for your art <3

THANK YOU………….. have this flower crown yuuri to match victor

5

Okay back to happier (?) topics - today’s prompts were firsts/future/tears !!!! and honestly that’s probably a happy set why did I go for this even we might just never know

2

My heart is pierced by Cupid;

I disdain all glittering gold.

There is nothing can console me

But my jolly sailor bold.
___

I’m trying to fight my art block and I received some lovely suggestions I’m going to draw.

Mer!Hanzo and Pirate!McCree was one of these.
@rebeza and @finchworks are my inspirations and I look up to their designs and AUs ‘cause wow.

Have you ever seen a prettier Hanzo?

5

insp.
- Time can be rewritten!
- Not those times, not one line… don`t you dare!

  • Producer: Chris!
  • Chrises: Yeah?
  • Producer: Uh, the muscular one!
  • Chrises: ...Dude
  • Producer: Fine, the one playing Peter!
  • Tom Holland: What?
  • Producer: NO DANG IT, NOT YOU TOM!
  • Tom Hiddleston: *crying* What did I do?
  • Producer: N-no Tom, it's ok, you didn't do anything, I didn't mean to-
  • Chris Hemsworth: HOW DARE YOU HURT MY BROTHER'S FEELINGS
  • Producer: I DIDN'T MEAN TO, I SWEAR
  • Chris Evans: LANGUAGE!
  • RDJ: *eating popcorn in the background and filming the whole debacle*

six of crows au where kuwei doesn’t exist

  • nina and matthias never have that moment where they realize they’re on the same side and therefore can’t trust each other
  • by some miracle they make it out of the ice court alive without nina having any parem
  • wylan never finds the courage to stand beside jesper on the way home because he’s too shy in his own skin
  • without the promise of reward for the scientist inej doesn’t consider her dream of hunting slavers possible, which means she never tells kaz so he has no reason to ask her to stay in ketterdam with him, and inej goes on thinking he doesn’t have deeper feelings for her
  • they go back to the barrel empty handed and their friendships never strengthen and most importantly to kaz—they never make their millions
  • pekka, heleen and van eck are still at large 
  • kaz never gets the help he needs to find inej’s parents
  • there’s really no reason to work with wylan again since raske is better with demolition after all and they’re not working with jan anymore
  • jesper’s life lacks chaos without any big heists and he goes back to gambling regularly
  • and poor matthias
  • he still meets his fate the same way when it’s found out he’s not in hellgate anymore. but the sad difference is it would have all been for nothing….

spoiler: it’s just not realistic.jpg stop acting like the story could exist without him. he’s a crucial character thanks bye

3

Mistakes were made. And worse is that you failed to keep the subjects contained and recover them after the initial breach. Now we have potentially dangerous individuals at large. Over 30 of them

And currently we only have budget to surveil one

2

At some point during the [parabatai] speeches, Jem had slipped quietly from his chair and disappeared through the doors to Angel Square. Tessa had dropped her napkin and hurried after him; as the doors closed, Emma could see them on the dimly lit steps. Jem had his head down on Tessa’s shoulder.

- Cassandra Clare, Lady Midnight

They’re saps

I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD THAT!

Content: We were playing a one-shot discovery campaign with brutality-level difficulty. The party was engaged with the citadel’s high-ranking militia forces due to fraternizing with the lieutenant of a major resistance movement. My character, an Orc Cleric (Asgard), just healed himself from the brink of death. Our Human Rogue (Adrianne) was fending of some soldiers, and our NPC Monk character (aka the lieutenant) was bashing skulls outside the tavern. And our third party member, a Watee Genasi Fighter (Mercer)? Well…

DM: So, a new soldier wearing robes has entered the battle. He raises his hand out to you all and calls out, “Begone, villains!” Everyone, roll a charisma save.

Asgard (me): *rolls 19*

Adrianne: *rolls 13*

Mercer: *rolls nat 1*

DM: OH, WOW! Okay, um, let me check something really fast.

Mercer: What?!

DM: So, Asgard and Adrianne are fine, but you, Mercer, find yourself warped in a place beyond the battle. The entire area feels off and congested. You have been banished to an island in some ethereal place, alone.

Mercer: WHAT THE HELL?! What do I do?

Adrianne: I’m not sure if there’s anything that can be done about that.

Asgard: I would go and get you, but I’m a liiiiiittle busy right now.

a couple turns later~

DM: After some time, Mercer, you’re brought back into the tavern. Currently, you see Asgard being pinned down against the bar by a massive Commander, and Adrianne is pushed up against the wall, nearly at the window. The situation is tense, what do you do?

Mercer: I am frightened so I will scream! The hell is going on?!

At this point, the DM goes silent for a moment, but he then begins to chuckle, making the entire party look uneasy.

DM, Now, I want EVERYONE, except Mercer, to make a constitution saving throw!

Mercer: What’s going on? What is happening?!

DM, in-between his laughter: I gave all of your characters a hidden skill that could’ve been used, but it would be a surprise. Your scream triggered a 9th Lv. spell!

The entire party: WHAT?!?!

Adrianne: *rolls 4*

Asgard: *rolls 13*

DM: OH MY GOD! Asgard, you just barely failed the DC on this! Both of you are at zero HP, as well as most of the other people in this area; you are now unconscious. The Commander, however, withstands.

Mercer, laugh-crying: What did I do?!

DM, excited: You casted Wail of the Banshee!

Mercer: I DIDN’T KNOW I HAD THAT!

DM: EXACTLY! WELCOME TO DISCOVERY/BRUTALITY!

That scream pretty much sealed our deaths as the campaign went on. No healing, no powerful attacks. We were picked off one-by-one.
And we weren’t even at the final boss, too.

Stupid

This was stupid

This whole thing, it was so stupid, and it made Annabeth feel stupid, and she wasn’t stupid, she was smart, gods damn it, so why couldn’t she do this? She should have been able to do this.

She only realised she was crying when a tear splashed on to the page of her textbook, blurring the black letters printed on the white page. That tear falling felt like conceding defeat, and soon enough she was crying in earnest, sobbing hard enough that the words became even less intelligible than they’d already been.

She put her head down on the book and let herself cry, feeling terribly stupid and sorry and frustrated. Her whole face felt hot, flushed with anger and annoyance - at this essay, at herself, at the fact that she was a daughter of the goddess of wisdom and she couldn’t seem to write a simple fucking essay.

When the door to her room opened she instinctively straightened, grabbing her dagger and spinning in her seat to face the intruder. When she saw who it was she immediately collapsed back onto the desk, face first, letting her dagger fall to the floor. 

She heard Percy shut the door behind himself. There were a few soft footsteps, and then a gentle hand on her shaking shoulder and a quiet question. “Annabeth, hey, what’s up?”

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