crying because this is what i draw now



You taught me the courage of stars before you left.
How light carries on endlessly, even after death.
With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite.
How rare and beautiful it is to even exist.

- “Saturn” by Sleeping At Last

“He promised!”, the younger man cried. A heartwrecking, choked sound. “He promised he’d come back!”

Tears seeped through the fabric of Ryou’s shirt and slender fingers dug into his back with a force he’d never thought Keith possessed. There was nothing he could do. Nothing he could say. No support he could’ve offered. He could only wrap his own arms around the smaller figure and hold him.

It had been two months. Two months since Keith fled the constricting walls of the Galaxy Garrison and vanished into the cold desert night. Two months and twenty-two days since Iverson’s spokesman announced the Kerberos mission was a failure. Two months and twenty-nine days since the comms of his brother’s ship went dead.

Noone knew where Keith went that night, except for Ryou. There was only one place in the world Keith would seek out for shelter. It was the only place Takashi had never shared with his twin. Because it was their place. Their shelter. Keith and Shiro. Only them. And Ryou had respected that, content with the fact that his brother had finally found love, even if Takashi himself hadn’t known that back then.

Now that Takashi was gone, he couldn’t help but venture out into the desert more and more often. He felt adrift and numb, left in a state of levitation before reality would finally come crashing in. Always looking for that special place that held so many memories of his brother. The shack.

Packed with supplies - food, water, wool blankets, lamp oil, a notable stock of lighters and all the little things Keith may or may not need by now - Ryou had steered his black hoverbike away from the Garrison this morning and straight into the unforgiving heat of the desert. Always looking for that one spot on the map that still held some of his brother’s very soul. That one damned spot that Ryou knew he should never seek out. For it held the only tangible evidence of his brother’s death. His absence at Keith’s side. And he knew this would break him.

When he finally found the shack, he knew Keith was there before he even saw him in person. The red hoverbike, parked right infront of the small porch, gave him away. Its black twin’s engine purred and finally went silent under Ryou. Before Kerberos, before everything went down the drain, the red bike had belonged to Takashi. A gift, Ryou had made for him. He still remembered the face Taka made when he’d seen his birthday present. Now that day seemed eons away… Surreal and alien like memories of a life that belonged to somebody else.

Keith opened the front door before Ryou could even make it to the porch. And for one moment it seemed like the world had come to a halt, remembering that there was something missing, before it started turning again with cold, regardless indifference. Feigning ignorance towards two now incomplete and broken beings. The universe had greater things to take care of.

Seeing Ryou - the spitting image of his lost brother - must’ve been the last straw. Keith hadn’t cried. Not when Ryou had called him after the ship went silent, not when the announcement came that all crew members were believed to be dead. Not even when he had left the base. He had punched people. He had seethed with rage and he had broken things, but never cried. Now however…

“He promised!”, the younger man cried. A heartwrecking, choked sound. “He promised he’d come back!”

Now, after three months, shock and numbness, disbelief and repression finally faded… Keith cried.

And it broke Ryou…


So…. uh… this… this got out of hand? All I wanted was to express my headcanon that Ryou and Keith knew eachother from their time at the Garrison and that Ryou visited Keith after he got expelled. And that they both mourn Shiro together. But somehow I ended up writing way more than I had planned. xD Oh well…

The new trailer for s3 kinda left me adrift because WHAT THE FUCK. Why they keep doing this to me with every new season?! Where’s Shiro? Why’s he not in the trailer?! Why can’t we just… have him back and be save for once? Not knowing if my poor baby survives every new damn season has me stressing like fuck! So I felt like drawing Keith coping with losing Shiro. And then I ended up drawing this and feeling bad for poor Keith! Now I feel like I want to cry my eyes out…



I can’t say much about this… Except that coming up with this and drawing it unexpectedly made me cry my own eyes out, since I also have this dad-who-didn’t-love-me-much-but-died-before-we-could-become-closer issues. :( Whatever Stan’s or my father were like, they were still fathers, and it was sad. 
Heh, and the last frame is still debatable. Let’s see how the show ends…

I can so relate to Stan. I’ve always been told I look and act like my dad, and I always hated it, because of the way he was. :D I’m calmer about it now, though. Embrace yourselves, that’s what I understood.


Pokedex Holders Bio: Yellow The Healer

what javascript people think coding is: i was trying to make a box expand and collapse for nearly and hour and it turns out i’d forgotten to type 1 (one) symbol and now im crying at midnight clicking a box over and over again because it finally works

what actual coding is:  trying to install and build the thing that allows for the box drawing functionality in the first place but failing because you’re missing a dependency that hasn’t been updated since 1992

cavetown lyrics that make me cry:

- remember when we felt like animations, and didn’t need a-grades for self validation

-but now i don’t remember comfort because what i am is what i’m not

-mum and dad love you, you can come home now

-it feels like i’m slipping behind a screen of nightlights and suicidal tendencies

-all that’s drawing near are the darkest dreams to petrify your soul

-i know you don’t feel fine, won’t make it out this fight alive

-please never forget my arms are your second home

-the bridge of this is home 

(whoops i accidentally deleted this ask straight after i posted it so HERE WE GO AGAIN)

do you mean can i relive @pika-ace messing with my emotions for 12 beautiful beautiful chapters just to draw a picture???


(psst the last chapter made me cry dont tell anyone)

thy-name-is-kat  asked:

Hello there friend, question here. Do you use any specific brush to blend on Clip Studio? I know you use only 2 brushes, but I was wondering what you do to make your shading so smooth ( I cry because it's too perfect ) ??

thank you! I’m sad because i tried screen recording myself coloring a drawing of mine for about 10 minutes (three times!) but my laptop cant handle it and the recording app would crash :(

so now i have to explain in screenshots which isn’t the greatest,s orry about this, this will be shown in a bad way because I don’t really know how to explain without a video.

I actually use the airbrush tool a lot for that smooth effect, but the oil paint flat brush is the best for blending. How I use the airbrush tool is I select a part of the base color I want shaded, and using the airbrush tool I draw gently over the selected part like shown below:

How I color is I fully color the person in base colors, and then I decide on a color for shading. To blend, you paint the two colors next to each other or over each other and using either color, paint one gentle stroke over the other shade and color pick the result of that (and repeat until smooth blend!). 

Use saturated colors for details (and within shadows, typically a lighter but brighter color than shadows).

“Do you want them, Jack? Your memories?”

The Pitch’s Lair scene is my favourite part of the movie. All of it is fantastic beyond words, but the way the liquid shadow occupies the space in this scene in particular and the way the labyrinth reflects Jack’s fears…I just love it. (Hence why I NO JOKE sat down and drew this nonstop for 21 hours… :l I need to stop doing that. I just now finished and it’s 9am. *what is sleep* xD)

Anyway, you should totally reblog this BUT you should leave funny tags. The tags are my favourite things ever xD and I look at them for every single reblog because they just make my day. ♡ Please enjoy this beeeaaannn.

Think about Clarke spending six years not only radioing Bellamy, but drawing him. Drawing everyone, and perfecting those drawings. Abby, Raven, Octavia, Kane, Bellamy.

(Bellamy’s jawline and cheekbones.)

Not only has Madi heard all the stories, but she probably knows what Bellamy looks like as much as Clarke does by now.

Just think about it. Or don’t, because I started crying when I did.

Nemesis Mine

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13

Chapter 14. Baz.

I’m going to die in this fire.

The flames are all around me, making it hard for me to see anything but sparks and thick black smoke, and all I can think is that I’m going to die and Simon will still think I hate him.

I’m curled in on myself, resting my head on my knees, trying to breathe. Trying to stay conscious, though I know it won’t be for long.

I’m thinking about my mother, too, but not about avenging her – because after all, what use is revenge? It won’t bring her back. I’m thinking about what she’d think of me if she knew how I chose to spend all the time I got to be alive.

I bet she would have liked Simon.

I hear a scream, cutting through the crackling of the fire, and I realise that he’s still here. He’s flying through the flames towards me – why is he coming towards me? – and yelling my name. Baz. Not Basilton.

He lands next to me. I look up, and the ceiling is starting to collapse.

Everything is bright red and orange and it feels like my head is on fire.

I can hardly breathe.

‘Get out,’ I gasp.

‘My arm’s dead,’ he says, ‘and you clearly can’t move. I can’t get you out.’ He’s crying. He’s not wearing his mask, so he just looks like Simon with wings and a tail, and there are tears running down his cheeks.

There’s nothing left in my lungs except for smoke and I can’t believe he’s making me convince him to save himself with my last breaths.

‘You don’t need your arm to fly,’ I spit. ‘Fucking go.’

‘I can’t carry you,’ he chokes. ‘I can’t, Baz, I’m sorry.’

‘I know,’ I say. ‘Just go.’

But he doesn’t. He slides down to the floor next to me and shuffles closer until we’re side by side. He spreads out his wings and wraps them around me.

‘What the fuck are you doing?’ I cough.

‘This might help, with the flames. I heard sirens, the fire trucks will be here soon, we might be okay…’

I would shove him off, but he was right; I can’t move. I’m too weak.



‘Why won’t you leave me?’

I’m crying too now. Simon Snow is going to die trying to protect me from this fire. Simon is going to die.

‘Because – because I – fuck, because it’s you, Baz, I couldn’t. I could never.’ He draws his wings more tightly over my head, trying to shield me from the smoke and the shimmering heat. ‘I know you’re supposed to be a villain, and I know you probably still want me dead, but you’re not a villain, you’re just a boy.’

‘I don’t want you dead,’ I sob. ‘I want you to go.’

‘I won’t,’ he whispers. He leans his forehead on my shoulder.

‘You and your stupid superhero complex,’ I mutter.

He laughs. He lifts up his head so his eyes are level with mine. They’re alive and dancing with firelight. ‘Goodbye, nemesis mine,’ he says. And then he presses his lips against mine.

It’s a soft kiss, and he’s pulling away before I have a chance to recollect myself. I close my eyes, and I use the last of my strength to grab a fistful of his shirt and pull him back to me.

This time there’s no uncertainty in the kiss. It’s messy, and desperate, and I can feel the heat of the flames even through his wings and I know that this is the end. I can taste his tears and feel him all around me trying to protect me and as dying moments go, this one’s better than I could have hoped for.

I give him everything I have.

We don’t pause for breath.

Until finally, the fire is too close, and the heat becomes too much, and I pass out.

Keep reading

Voltron Theory Part 1 Season 3 &4: Keith, Lance and Keith’s Dad

So this wasn’t supposed to be my first one, I was going to go into a whole Theory on Lotor’s parentage, but that can hold off for a few ticks. See one thing that’s caught my attention heavily is the comments being made about Lance being dead, or dying this upcoming season, and I think we’re jumping the gun a bit for a few key reasons.

What do we know about this, and why is this coming to a consensus that Lance is going to go to the hear after? Well, the few bits of info that I was able to gather was that Jeremy Shada, Lance’s voice actor, said that Lance was going to die, Lauren Montgomery saying that Lance’s insecurities are a long arc story development for him, and a leaked image of Keith crying over what looks like Lance’s jacket.

Now I haven’t seen the image, but of the ones that I have, a good portion of them are early in development drawings, ie –no color to them. So I have to take the idea that the jacket might be Lance’s with a grain of salt, because he’s not the only person that wears a brown jacket like that…Keith’s dad does.

Now, I want to take a moment to examine the possibility here that Jeremy wasn’t actually talking about Lance dying for real. We know of the existence of the alternate Alteans and that they’re none too happy with Voltron from our key reality. We know they have a piece of the meteorite that was used to build Lotor’s new ship. So, if that’s the case, then what’s to stop them from capturing Lance and making it look like he died? That’s just one possibility.

But Jermey could have been talking about dying on the inside and we already saw that happen this season. Lance was crushed by the loss of Blue, and he felt that he wouldn’t be a good person to have on the team. I’m more convinced that this is more a “metaphorical death” rather than a physical one because of what Lauren said, and, that we know that we can’t form Voltron without the red paladin. This is rather important to the story as Lance has always been both Keith’s and Allura’s helper in times of need.

Also something THAT big wouldn’t be allowed to be put out at a convention. Most actors have to sign some sort of agreement in their contract to not leak anything too big, and Lance dying would be a doozy. So if they let him say that, well then, this isn’t a huge thing. Remember we didn’t know about AJ’s voice until very close to the reveal, and Josh and the crew kept it quiet about the Clone of Shiro showing up, also the huge reveal about Zarkon, something that Neil said might happen in his twitter without revealing a darn thing.

So my guess, something big does happen to Lance, but him actually physically being dead. No, not going to happen because he’s to important to the story as a whole.

So then what is up with the Keith crying over Lance’s jacket?

Well I don’t think that is Lance’s jacket, I think that’s Keith’s dad.

Hear me out now, we saw that both Lance and Keith’s dad share the same jacket.

 And while Keith loves and cares about Lance a lot, I can’t see him sobbing over Lance’s death. He didn’t even cry over Shiro, got angry and feel upset, yes, but Keith is not one that cries. Like ever.

So what has him so worked up to the point that he’s sobbing?

Well what if that jacket is his father’s jacket and not Lance’s?

We’ve already seen that both Lance and Keith’s dad share a jacket that is nearly the same in style same for some smaller differences.

So this has me thinking about the Blue lion. We know that it was sent to earth, we don’t know if the original paladin was on it at the time. Since we know Alfor sent it off it’s possible that Blayatz was the one that brought it to earth.

 But I can’t see Alfor just letting them go on their own without protection.

Could it be that Alfor sent one of his own guards with the Paladins? If that’s the case then it could be that Keith’s dad has some connection to the Alteans. It would also explain why he was listening for something, possibly the Lion itself, and trying to figure things out.

If Keith’s mom was a part of the Blade, and she ran to earth to hide, then it’s more then likely Keith’s father probably helped her out and possibly that the Galra found out about him and Keith. If that is the case, then it’s a possibility that they have Keith’s dad.

IF, and this is a huge if, Keith’s dad is alive at this point, it could be that the two meet and Keith’s father sacrifices himself to save his son’s life. Leaving only the jacket behind and Keith to end up sobbing over his fallen father. It would make perfect sense to have that be his Dad’s jacket as it would have way more meaning and punch to the story. Not only that but it would fit in with a few stories that were told in the original show.

So my guess, the jacket is Keith’s dad’s jacket that he’s seen crying over. Lance is going to have a metaphorical death and rebirth to become a stronger Paladin, and the two are going to work together to form a better team with the others by the time the series ends.

anonymous asked:

Can I just say, I absolutely love your jack and Nisha art, you made me ship this 100x more than I already did and now my life is dedicated to this ship/your art of this ship. They're so canon in your comics and it makes me cry, please never stop drawing them. I love when you draw them hugging or something and jack is smirking, but really trying to keep his cool and nisha just looks smug, because she knows what effect she has over jack.

Thanx for the support lovely anon chan !!! <3 here..have OUR favourite killers! :D

  • me, lying in bed: oh im gonna DRAW THIS
  • me, getting out my makeshift desk: GONNA DRAW IT
  • me, plugging in my tablet: GOnnA drAW thIS
  • me, waiting for photoshop to load: GONNA FUCKIN DRAW IT
  • me, staring at blank canvas: *having suddenly and inexplicably lost all motivation because the art is for myself and no one else so i have every excuse to drop it and crying through my laughter* draw what now

OKAY, so, it’s story time, kiddies (and bear with me since it’s past 1:00 in the morning)!

I’ve been thinking about what Kitty would do if she were to be in @eliana55226838’s Bendy’s Mafia AU.  In this story, she would be a runaway orphan, trying to find shelter and hide from the authorities.  That’s where Bendy finds her.  Reluctantly, he lets her stay with him and his family until he was certain he could find her a new home.  There, they’d dress her in proper clothing and have the girl watch over and play with his and Chrystal’s son, Dylan.  Kitty looks up to Bendy, so she’d try to prove to him that she can fight bad guys and be tough, only for him to smile at her with amusement.  Eventually, with Chrystal’s agreement, Bendy decides to adopt Kitty himself as his “little sister” and Dylan’s new “aunt.”

Unfortunately, when the day of the incident came, Kitty wasn’t there to witness what had happened.  But she did find out afterwards, both from the news and from a crying Bendy.  Obviously, he feels deep regret and sorrow for what happened and now with Chrystal dead and Dylan resenting him, Kitty’s the only “family” Bendy has left.  Kitty tries to reason with her “nephew,” but they don’t see eye-to-eye and something bad happens between them, making matters even worse…

This took a LOT of time for me to wholly put together, from the sketching to the coloring.  But this was still something I enjoyed drawing because I’ve grown to love Bendy’s Mafia and admire Eliana as an artist.  Hope you like this, girl!  Keep up the good work!  ^^

Bendy and the Ink Machine © theMeatly
Bendy’s Mafia/Chrystal/Dylan © @eliana55226838
Kitty Cat/Artwork © @jordanthecat11 

Saving Solas

One of the most heartbreaking things for me about Solas is how trapped he is by his duty & that he truly can see no way out that doesn’t involve destroying both himself and your world.  He’s so isolated by that duty that he’s forced to turn his back on love & it’s slowly killing him inside.  He’s sacrificed everything to grant freedom to others, but he can only see freedom for himself as an elusive, unattainable dream.

In Trespasser, it’s so clear that Solas doesn’t want to go through with what he has planned, but believes he has no choice.  Everything about his body language screams that he’s barely holding it together.  The man we meet after two years alone - the man with the most developed intellect of anyone alive - has sunk to justifying his plans to you and consoling himself with pure, unadulterated bullshit (you’d rather see them die in comfort - seriously, Solas?)

Solas is in such despair that he doesn’t think there’s anyone alive who even CAN stop him now.  I believe he is teetering on the brink of madness.  He draws your Inquisitor to him to save your life, not just because he cares for you, but because it’s the ONLY thing left that he can think of to forestall his plans. 

The man is stalling.  He’s silently pleading for you to save him.  You’re literally his only hope.  

Let’s call this Trespasser meeting what it truly is - a desperate cry for help.  The man has absolutely no one else he can turn to, and his crushing loneliness comes across even more painfully with a Lavellan who loves him.  

And more than anything, even more than a happy ending with Solas, I want my Lavellan to be able to say to him in the end:

Ar lasa mala revas, vhenan.  You are FREE. 

Hold on, baby, I’m coming.  I’ve still got one good arm to hold you with.

Red Dragon con 3 recap part 3

PART 1 - 2 

Hugh and Bryan Q&A panel summary (well, only Hugh in this post though)

Poor Hugh had to start the panel alone, because Bryan was still taking his time doing his autographs! In the end, the whole panel lasted close to 1hr extra, but I’m not sure anyone really minded! (Also, once again, apologies for possible inaccuracies, but I tried to make this as detailed as I could!)


-The panel started with Hugh announcing he would not planning to do any one man reenactments of BDSM practices :’D 

-The first (oh god haha) question was if he did any preparations for his role in Hysteria? Well, he did hand exercises…also, some guy in customs in Israel asked him “did you do that vibrator movie?”

-Dream project? “Besides the obvious?”. Hugh trusts Bryan, and would take part in any of his projects. 

-Will presenting to be “on the spectrum” was a defense mechanism!

-People kept telling Hugh “thank you for being here”, and he just had to emphasize that HE is really happy to be here. (aww)

-Role models: directors who went the extra mile, family, friends.

-Cal is a “very lonely man”. “The last thing I would do would be to practice in front of a mirror”.

-Hugh and Mads joked about Will finding Hannibal’s notes on him, and wondered if Hannibal had a “don’t show this to Will” folder.

-Hugh about Hannibal: Hannibal is an evil genius, getting dressed up in the morning, preparing food etc. “When does that man sleep?”

-Will Graham would be the world’s worst Christian Grey like billionaire: he’d live in the same house, buy more dogs, upgrade his fishing equipment, build a wall around the house…and he’d never take off his glasses.

-Hannibal & Will relationship: To Hugh, when Will asks “is Hannibal in love with me”, it’s weird it hasn’t occurred to him before. Before that question, he saw it as platonic obsessive love. “For both of them it’s a relief from loneliness. Is that not love?”. Meeting a person who answers all your questions, even if they create more questions in the process. The world makes more sense when they’re together. (I really wish I could give a direct quote about this!)

- Will was plenty dark before Hannibal’s influence. Will was born with his mental makeup, as was Hannibal. “It doesn’t matter what kid got eaten”.

-What does Will listen to? “He could be a Deadhead and listens to 70s rock. He could also have a deep love for Austrian chamber music”. Will could be one of those people who are full of surprises, so maybe he played the piano in his house, but it probably came with the house.

-”You could think about these things more in depth. I’m very aware the characters are not real, except Scott’s performance which was rooted in reality”

-”If Will and Hannibal survived the fall…”, “Oh they did”. Maybe Hannibal had a magic toolbox that saved them? The fall was real, not a metaphor. It was a deliberate decision for Will to go off the cliff, he was convinced they both had to go. After the fall, there would be a lot of recuperation going on, and it would allow a kind of character reset. However, a show without Will’s empathy would not the show anymore. 

Keep reading

how does one draw snow in SAI again…

anyhow, here’s a fanart for @pemprika‘s werewolf!yuu AU! >w< i haven’t done any proper colouring in a while so this was sort of a challenge for me as well TwT

i hope you like this!~ ;v;


So I finished Shameless and now I don’t know what to do with myself except curl up in the fetal position and cry until Mickey returns. Maybe he’ll tan and come back with better morals and a straight lifestyle (not in the orientation way because #gallavich is life, and Mickey is the prettiest thug ever). If he keeps his attitude and goes back to Ian that would be great because he is honestly one of the most caring and hard to love characters in the show. Anyways here is a drawing I’m currently working on since I need to practice for an art show, so what better way to warm up than to draw a picture of the sassiest thug the south side has ever seen, they say draw what makes you happy so Noel Fisher makes me happy. Hope you guys like it and who know I may draw Ian as well and somehow move up and draw some Gallavich love, haha I’m new to this fandom and I’m a couple years behind.