crying because i love him so much someone please hold me

epikegster 2k14 “Oh” au
  • in an au where parse never showed up to epikegster, i like to think jack had his “oh” moment in the hazy dark of that cold, loud winter night
  • (like, what could be more different than graduation? in the warm, bright day, scared but certain of his immediate future, speaking to his father in soft french while bells and birds sing overhead?)
  • it’s a different kind of “oh” – it’s not one last shot before everything changes, it’s one more layer of confusion and uncertainty as he enters his final semester at samwell
  • but it’s also…comforting.

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Ball Chain & Satin

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: “Can you write a one shot where Bucky and Reader are getting married, but Bucky is scared. Angst or fluff, it’s up to you. Thanks!” Requested by Anonymous.

Word Count:1,391

Warnings: Language (probably)

A/N: I’m working on my requests, yay me! Oh boii, the fluff is strong :) Hope you’ll like it!

Originally posted by heartsandwheels

You were in front of the mirror, admiring your sleeveless satin wedding gown when someone knocked on the door.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me.”

Grabbing a fistful of satin, you gathered up the skirt of your gown and moved closer to the door. You pressed your ear against the wood and heard him shuffling around on the other side of the door.

“Buck, what are you doing here? We’re not supposed to see each other before the ceremony.”

“I wanted to see you.”

“You’ll see me in an hour. Now, hush!”

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for @portentous-offerings who is my sick buddy today. Feel better my friend ^_^ 

“She’s never going to love me.”

It was so quiet she almost missed it.

“What did you say Kitty?” she asked, her face still pressed into his back from where they were cuddling in her bed.

“Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything,” he said, rolling over and giving her a cheeky smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Are… are you talking about Ladybug?” she asked softly, feeling the knot of guilt that had steadily been building over the last few months of this strange friendship they had fallen into.

He didn’t bring up her alter ego very often. The subject of romance in general always seeming to carry some sort of bizarre taboo whenever he stopped by for his increasingly frequent visits. Not that Marinette had minded. She had Alya to cry to about her lack-luster love life after all, and given how unwaveringly supportive he was about all of her other problems, it seemed silly to hold it against him that he was uncomfortable talking to a girl about crushes and the like.

His eyes flashed guiltily and he rolled back over, staring out into the darkness of the room.

“Really it’s nothing,” he said again, but he couldn’t quite mask the defeated tone that colored his words.

It was a sound she was all too used to. The same defeated cadence that had echoed from her own lips after her disastrous attempt at confessing to Adrien 5 months and 27 days earlier that no amount of Rom-coms or Alya suggested poster-burning had been able to cure.

“Chat, it isn’t nothing,” she said, sitting up and gently trying to pull him back around. He didn’t budge, still keeping his gaze obstinately fixed at something that she couldn’t see. “If it matters to you… it isn’t nothing. Not to me.”

“It’s not appropriate,” he said softly, “and it’s not fair to you.”

“Shouldn’t I get to be the judge of that?”

“It would be selfish-“

“So be selfish!” she said with a slightly forced laugh. “Trust me, you have a long way to go before you catch up to my level of selfish so I am hardly one to judge.” She teased her fingers through his hair, letting her nails scratch delicately against his scalp and felt him relax in spite of himself.

“Yeah right,” he scoffed lightly, “your strange phone kleptomania aside, you’re a pretty stand-up person.”

“Hey, I will have you know I have been working very hard to reform my phone-napping ways,” she teased, hoping to draw out a real smile from him.

“You stole Alya’s phone just last week!”

“That was a special circumstance. I told you so,” she pouted. “Besides, Adrien doesn’t deserve to be taunted like that no matter what Alya might say about it,” she added softly.  

She felt Chat stiffen slightly, his cat ear twitching at her words, and she was once again suspicious that he knew all about her romantic trouble regardless of their lack of conversation on the subject. She flushed at the thought.

“You are one of the most selfless people I know,” he said, reaching up to grasp her hand in his own and give it a brief reassuring squeeze.

The guilt Marinette was feeling was almost overpowering as the thought of the secrets she was keeping from him weighed on her like a stone. He had never questioned how they had fallen into such an easy friendship, and she had become too attached to having him as a part of her life- her normal everyday life- to be willing to admit the one-sidedness of it all. Here she was getting mopey over someone she had sworn she was done chasing after in front of a guy whose heart she routinely seemed to trample into the dust. Talk about selfish.  

“Please just tell me,” she whispered, her fingers resuming their seductive strokes that she knew full well would reduce him to a compliant puddle in her lap.

He was silent for a few more moments before finally letting out a small defeated sigh.

“I was just thinking about everything and I guess I just…” he hesitated. “She’ll never love me. I know that. I think on some level I always suspected as much.”

His voice wasn’t bitter or angry, and that calm resignation shattered her own heart into a million pieces more than the actual words he was saying.

“I think,” he continued, “I think I will be ok with it. She loves someone else. She doesn’t really say much about it, maybe to preserve our identities or maybe because she doesn’t want to hurt my feelings, but every once in a while she lets something slip and it’s not that hard to put the pieces together. I always thought it was so cheesy in the movies when people would say things like I just want her to be happy, but I think I get it now. She’s incredible and I am always going to love her, but she doesn’t need me to make her happy.”

Marinette could feel the tears pooling behind her eyes as the words poured out of him in his soft, even tone. Her fingers were frozen, buried in his lush golden hair, her breaths turning shallow and frantic as the words reverberated through her like an electric current.

She stared down at the boy beside her. Her precious, irreplaceable kitten, who loved her so fiercely and believed in her so much. Who was willing to call her out for her faults and yet somehow still believed her capable of rising above them.

“She’s smart,” Chat continued, his voice seeming to echo in the near silence of the night, “and I know that whoever she does choose is going to be someone who can make her happy. Somebody good and funny and able to keep up with her when she is at her best and keep her grounded when she’s at her worst. So I think I can be ok with that.”

She tried to imagine what her future would be with some potential lover. Her heart lurched slightly at the thought of Adrien, her own love that was apparently not to be. She brushed that thought aside and instead tried to picture a world where she was curled up beside some new face, running her fingers through hair that wasn’t blonde.

She had to choke back a sob.

The slight twinge of pain she had felt at the momentary reminder that she and Adrien would never be more than friends was nothing to the soul rendering terror she felt at the sudden realization that finding a new love would inevitably mean losing Chat.

They would still be friends. Of course, it wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t be like this. He would never impose like that. Not her Chat. Her partner who was good, and funny, and who had seen her at her best and her worst, who knew her better than anyone, and who still had never made her feel anything less than precious. Her dearest friend who just the momentary thought of a life without him made her feel like she was dying.

Chat let out a small self-deprecating laugh and Marinette wondered how she had ever been so blind.

“So yeah,” he said finally twisting back around to look up at her, “I think I’ll be ok. Even if she doesn’t love me.”

She gazed down at him, his brilliant green eyes glowing in the near darkness of the night, a tired smile on his face that she longed to see transformed into his usual infectious grin, as the truth hit her like a bolt of lightning.

“I do,” she said breathlessly, before leaning down to capture his lips in a long overdue kiss.

Stood Up

This one’s prompt is quite long, so bare with me! So i’ve just watched the first two episode of Riverdale and i’m in love! And I saw this prompt and I really wanted to write it for Jughead Jones, which is my absolute favourite character. AND I have an announcement, REQUESTS ARE NOW OPEN AND I’VE ADDED RIVERDALE TO THE LIST. Please, send in some requests, specifically for the 100 or Riverdale! Thank you!

Prompt: You’ve been stood up by your boyfriend and just when you’re about to leave after being question many times, Jughead comes and sits down. Proclaiming he’s now your date and that he’d just been caught up in traffic jokingly, and the worst date ends up being the best.

Warnings: none. only that i’ve only watched the tv show, so i’m basing this purely off Cole Sprouse’s rendition of Jughead.


Originally posted by noahsweetwne

This night had turned out to be the worst. It had originally been a night you’d been waiting and anticipating for for a really long time, even if it had been delayed and winded down countless time’s each time your boyfriend cancelled on you, you were still excited.

You two month anniversary, which was now closer to being three, was what you were celebrating tonight. Your two month boyfriend, Archie Andrews had promised an exciting night where it would be just the two of you and celebrate all that had happened. It was also the perfect time because it was summer, and with Archie always being so busy with his dads work, getting him alone was hard.

But then it’d been delayed. And delayed. And eventually it was after the incident with Jason, when your date was finally set to actually happen. It had turned into a dinner date at Pop’s rather than whatever Archie originally planned, but you didn’t care so much seeing as you loved the place. The milkshakes were to die for.

It felt odd celebrating after the death of someone who’d been around your age, but you told yourself you deserved it after waiting so long. And you’d been so excited, picking an appropriate but beautiful dress, and done your hair up nicely. You were practically pouncing with excitement when you’d left home. 

Now, though, all that had deflated when an hour alter you still sat in Pop’s alone and with no sight of Archie. Those around you questioned you with concerned looks and Pop’s himself had come over asking if you’d like to just order without Archie or if you needed a ride home, but you refused. Trying to convince your crumbling heart that Archie hadn’t stood you up and would walk through the doors any second. 

But he never did. And it hurt. So much. After weeks of being sympathetic and understanding towards him and his constant cancelling and rescheduling, you felt your heart break just a little bit more at the realization that he didn’t care for you the way you thought he had. And maybe you fooled yourself think he’d cared for you these past two (three) months.

So when Pop’s walked over, his smile of pity doing nothing but make you feel worse, you grabbed your purse. “Hello, sweetheart.” He greeted and you smile at him softly.

“Hey, Pop’s.” You greeted, waving at him. “I think i’m gonna head home, I-I…” You had to stop yourself as your voice cracked desperately, you’d amazed yourself even that you hadn’t started crying yet. “I’m sorry for holding up the table for so long.”

Pop’s smiled reassuringly. You’d known the older man for a very long time and you always appreciated his kind attitude. “No problem, Y/N. Take all the time you need.” He said, rubbing your shoulder comfortingly. You grabbed your purse and moved to step out before a sudden figure sped past you and you heard a huff of breath.

Confused, you turned to see Jughead Jones sitting in the seat in front of you. His computer by his side as he smiled awkwardly at you. You blinked, not sure what he wanted. You’d never really talked to him, he always sort of stuck to himself but him and Archie were friends, or had been. And anytime you walked by him he’d given you a polite hello and a warm wave. He’d always seemed nice enough.

But this didn’t explain what he was doing now?

Pop’s wore the same baffled expression as you both looked at him expectantly. “Jughead?” You whispered and soft voice cut out, tilting your head at him waiting for him to explain.

“Sorry i’m late.” Was all he said, adding to your confusion.

“Huh?” You whispered. Hand stuck on your purse.

“The traffic was bad and I hadn’t meant to be late for out date, but I was and for that i’m sorry.” Date? You furrowed your brows, eyes narrowing in absolute confusion, not quite sure what to do.

“Son, I think you’d got this wrong.” Pop’s tried, staring at you for answers which you couldn’t give.

Jughead tore his gaze from you, turning to Pops with a dry look of amusement. “We’ll be good now. She’ll have a strawberry milkshake.” And with a final look towards you, Pop’s walked off and went to complete your order.

“Jughead?” You asked once alone, the boy turned to you. Shaking his head as a much more serious expression became over his face. 

“Archie is an idiot.” He said, shaking his head. “for standing you up like this.”

You stayed silent, letting go of your purse as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ears. Frowning at your lap, “yeah.”

“Listen, I know we’ve never talked and your date stood you up. But I was wondering if you’d like to spend the next hour with me instead?” Jughead offered and you felt your eyes widening in shock. You’d never heard of Jughead, the outcast, inviting anyone to sit with him or hang out with him. It was undeniably sweet and you felt yourself blushing as a strawberry milkshake was placed in front of you.

Nodding thanks, you waited for Pop’s to leave before refocusing on Jughead. “Why?”

“Hm?”

“Why are you doing this?” You asked, not understanding his intentions. No one had done something so sweet for you, not even Archie.

“I’ve seen you, you follow Archie around as he barely pays attention to.” He explained, staring into your eyes with a look that told you he knew something you didn’t. “And despite standing you up, you’ll accept his apology.”

You opened your mouth, ready to defend yourself, before you realized what he said was true. Archie had done this a few times and each time your forgave him. 

“But I know what it’s like to be stood up by him, Y/N. And i know how much it can hurt. So, I thought that instead of brooding about it alone, I would brood about it with you.” 

With a sudden smile, you felt your cheeks warm and you nodded. You’d never pegged Jughead as someone sweet, he wasn’t a bad guy but this side you didn’t know existed. And secretly you were glared, this was better than going home and crying, and he seemed genially sincere.

You let your lips find your milkshake and you took a sweet gulp of it, enjoying the taste before smiling up at Jughead. “Then let’s brood together.”


Remember you can now request Riverdale imagines, so please do so! Hope you enjoyed! 

anonymous asked:

Hi love! What would you say the top ten sterek fics you've ever read are?

This was REALLY HARD. Mainly bc it’s hard to choose only 10. Because I’m leaving off some great fics (which is why there are more than 10 on here :3)! And some I get mixed up bc I read them so long ago and near each other. (You can always browse my fave fic list here) But I’ve narrowed it to this list. These are the fics that really left impressions on me. They’re all amazing and deserve to be read and loved!!! So…have a TOP 27 FAVE STEREK FICS list :DDDD

1. Cry Havoc by ladyblahblah

In Beacon Hills, the two-year war that’s been raging between werewolves and hunters has begun spilling over onto the civilian population. Meanwhile, in Boston, when the tattoo on Stiles Stilinski’s back is damaged on a late-night hunt he begins to have dreams that lead him across the country, drawn by an inexplicable conviction that he’s needed there. When he discovers that Derek Hale began the war after his mate was killed, Stiles finds himself being offered a strange deal: figure out how to bring the alpha’s mate back, and peace talks can begin.

2. Where the Inevitable Isn’t by Survivah

Stiles has a magical thingamajig that’s supposed to get him out of danger. Trouble is, it took him really, really far out of danger. Like, to the point where he isn’t in the same universe anymore.

“A part of Stiles had been thinking that he’d come home, and just go, ‘hey, Derek, are we mates and you just haven’t said anything about it?’ and Derek would reply, ‘now you mention it, we are indeed! Now come to my bedchamber, where we will have super hot sex and then cuddle after!’”

3. Pack Up; Don’t Stray by the_deep_magic

AU – Werewolves are an enslaved underclass, collared and tagged by human masters. Detective Stilinski’s on duty the night they bring in an untagged stray.

4. Our Memories Are Numbered by rufflefeather

Stiles’ Jeep grinds to a halt, he sees someone running through the rain, he’s not expecting it to be Derek. He’s not expecting a Derek without any memories either, or an Alpha pack that’s coming for all of them. He probably should’ve, because lately nothing goes the way he expects.

5. Ad Astra Per Tentaculum by morganoconner

Space contains a multitude of different species, and Derek has seen and helped a lot of them in his time taking down branches of the slave-trade organization. But this is the first time he’s seen an Aloshrivnik. It’s not the tentacles that draw him in; it’s the goddamn eyes that stare at him without backing down.

“Stiles,” it says to him. “My name is Stiles.”

6. Part of My Melody by hayesgeneration

Derek is a professional classical musician who has found himself lost without a muse, without goal and without even a hint of spark. He’s almost settled nearly contently (if not slightly unwillingly) on having to live his life as a recluse, when his sister finally grows tired of his antics, giving him a Christmas ultimatum.

7. Littlest Alpha by triedunture

Derek and Stiles have taken out the Alpha Pack and pretty much saved the world. Okay, the town. Okay, their remaining friends. But the Alphas left something behind: a baby. And this baby is an Alpha too. Derek is determined to take care of the abandoned child, and Stiles is stuck going along for the ride.

But Stiles doesn’t expect the ride to include seeing another side of Derek, or to find another way to say “family.”

8. Holding Your Own Weight by zjofierose

Stiles Stilinski is the best trapeze artist west of the Mississippi, but that doesn’t do him much good without a catcher. Enter one quiet roughneck who calls himself Derek and knows maybe a little too much about circus arts for someone who was hired to schlep tents. But Derek has his secrets, and so does the new girl, Allison. Who’s being hunted and who’s being haunted, and will Stiles ever be able to convince Derek to help him fly again?

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Suga Daddy: Part Five

Suga Daddy: Part Five

Word count: 6.8k

Genre: smut, angst

Alright, I hope you enjoy this. Sorry to all the people whose souls i’ve shattered. (not really) Let me know how you enjoy it if you want :)  

parts: one | twothreefour

“What the hell is going on?”

You and Taehyung pulled apart quickly, both looking at the figure, staring at you with a hard gaze and a clenched jaw. You gasped, “Yoongi.”

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390 Prompts!!!!

1. “A wedding?”
2. “After everything you did, you’re asking ME to apologize for snapping at you ONCE?”
3. “Am I supposed to be scared of you?”
4. “Are you drunk?”
5. “Are you hitting on her for me?”
6. “Are you kidding me? We’re not ‘fine’!”
7. “Are you okay?” “Why do you ask?” “You’re wearing two different shoes.”
8. “Are you really taking his side against me?”
9. “At what point did you think that was a good idea?”
10. “Babe, you have a problem, please, let me help you.”
11. “Be my wife.”
12. “Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you.”
13. “BOOM! That oughta show you not to mess with me!”
14. “But the carnival is right down the street! Can we please, please go!?”
15. “Can I kiss you?”
16. “Come back to bed.”
17. “Come on, let’s throw the dice, see what happens.”
18. “Come over here and make me.”
19. “Come with me.”
20. “Could you be happy here with me?”
21. “Crocs? Who hurt you so much in this life?”
22. “Damn. You clean up good.”
23. “Delete that immediately.”
24. “Did I just say that out loud?”
25. “Did I stutter?”
26. “Did you enjoy yourself last night?”
27. “Did you hear that?”
28. “Do you…well…I mean…I could give you a massage?”
29. “Do you ever stop eating?”
30. “Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”
31. “Do you ever think we should just stop this?”
32. Do you like me? Check yes or no.
33. “Do you need me to get anything from the store?”
34. “Do you think it’s possible that I…might be… pregnant?”
35. “Do you think she could have loved me?”
36. “Does he know about the baby?”
37. “Don’t fucking touch me!”
38. “Don’t say that. Not now.”
39. “Don’t say you love me.”
40. “Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”
41. “Don’t you ever do that again!”
42. “Either ask her out or I will do it for you!”
43. “Excuse me, I’m terribly lost. Can you help me?”
44. “Everyone deserves a second chance.”
45. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”
46. “For some reason I’m attracted to you.”
47. “Frankly, I couldn’t care less.”
48. “Fuck…I feel I’ve been hit by a car.”
49. “Game’s over you son of a bitch! Tell me where she is!”
50. “Give me 5 bucks, I’ll explain later.”
51. “Go on then, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”
52. “Go then, leave! See if I care!”
53. “Guess who’s going to be a father?”
54. “H-How long have you been standing there?”
55. “Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”
56. “Have I ever lied to you?”
57. “Have you ever wanted to hate someone?”
58. “Have you lost your damn mind!?”
59. “He’s missing, not dead.”
60. “Hey! I was gonna eat that!”
61. “Hey, have you seen the..? Oh.”
62. “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”
63. “His ego is so visible, I can almost watch it grow.”
64. “Hold me back!”
65. “Hold my hand dammit, we gotta make this look convincing!”
66. “How about we put the gun down and let’s talk about this?”
67. “How could anyone be that cruel?”
68. “How dare you!?”
69. “How long has it been?”
70. “I almost lost you.”
71. “I am not losing you again!”
72. “I beat you at Mario Kart and now you’re banishing me to the couch for the night?”
73. “I came here to explain what happened, and I’m not leaving until you listen.”
74. “I came home to a Nerf gun on the front porch and a note that says ‘Here is your weapon. I have one too. Loser cooks dinner. Good luck. xo’”
75. “I can manage on my own.”
76. “I can’t… I can’t lose you.”
77. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
78. “I can’t explain right now, but I need you to trust me.”
79. “I can’t get you out of my head.”
80. “I can’t let you do that.”
81. “I can’t start over again.”
82. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
83. “I can’t swim!”
84. “I choose you.”
85. “I could never leave you, I love you too much!”
86. “I did a pregnancy test.”
87. “I didn’t ask for any of this!”
88. “I didn’t know you could cook.” “Oh, trust me I can’t.”
89. “I didn’t know you could sing.”
90. “I didn’t know you were so competitive.”
91. “I didn’t realize I needed your permission.”
92. “I didn’t think it was even possible for you to be so intelligent.”
93. “I don’t care what he said, it doesn’t mean jack squat.”
94. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
95. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
96. “I don’t snore, do I?” “Like a chainsaw.”
97. “I don’t want to have a baby.”
98. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
99. “I don’t want to let you down.”
100. “I got you a present.”
101. “I guess I was wrong about you. You’re not so bad after all.”
102. “I had a nightmare about you and just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
103. “I had to see you again.”
104. “I hate you!” “No you don’t.”
105. “I hope one day you’re as happy as you’re pretending to be.”
106. “I just need you to do this one thing for me.”
107. “I just really need to have you here right now.”
108. “I just want this.”
109. “I just want to be alone right now.”
110. “I just wanted you to know that when I picture myself happy… it’s with you.”
111. “I know, but… I love him. You can’t give up on a person you love.”
112. "I know, but he’s your partner for this.”
113. “I know that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”
114. “I love you.” “I know.”
115. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I first laid eyes on you and – Oh, screw it!”
116. “I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.”
117. “I love you for you, don’t you dare think otherwise!”
118. “I love you more than anything in this world… which is why you have to stay here.”
119. “I love you, you asshole.”
120. “I made a mistake.”
121. “I may be an idiot but I’m your idiot.”
122. “I may despise you with the burning white hot intensity of a thousand suns, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
123. “I may have… ripped my pants.”
124. “I miss her so damn much, and it’s killing me that she’s gone!”
125. “I need you to forgive me.”
126. “I never believed in soulmates until I met you.”
127. “I never learned how to whistle.”
128. “I never meant for anyone to get hurt!”
129. “I saw you staring at each other, I just wasn’t sure if it was sexual tension or murderous rage.”
130. "I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”
131. “I swear if you weren’t so attractive, I’d have punched you in the face nine times by now.”
132. “I swear it was an accident.”
133. “I swear it was like that when I found it!”
134. “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.”
135. "I think I’m in love with you and that scares me to death.”
136. “I think we need to talk.”
137. “I think we should have another.”
138. “I think you’re just afraid to be happy.”
139. “I thought you were a dream come true.”
140. “I thought you were dead…”
141. “I trusted you!”
142. “I waited and waited, but you never came back.”
143. “I want my best friend back.”
144. “I want to go back to before….”
145. “I wasn’t going to wait around for you forever.”
146. “I wasn’t planning on asking you, but I’ve come to realize that life is short. Will you marry me?”
147. “I wish I could hate you.”
148. “I won’t give up if you won’t.”
149. “I won’t let you fall.”
150. “I-I can’t trust you anymore.”
151. “I’ll be right over.”
152. “I’ll sleep under the sheets, you sleep on top of them.”
153. "I’m flirting with you.”
154. “I’m freezing!”
155. “I’m laughing because you’re angry. I swear I didn’t do it!”
156. “I’m like 20% sure this plan will work. The other 80% means we could die horribly and violently, but honestly it’s a really solid plan.”
157. “I’m not good enough for you.”
158. “I’m not happy here.”
159. “I’m not surprised that you murdered him.”
160. “I’m not the only one who thinks that.”
161. “I’m only human!”
162. “I’m pregnant.”
163. “I’m sick of being USELESS.”
164. “I’m so happy you’re alive.”
165. “I’m so sorry! I will never doubt you again!”
166. “I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.”
167. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
168. “I’m sorry, but I can’t trust you anymore.”
169. “I’m sorry if this upsets you, but I’m going to marry her.”
170. “I’m sorry, run that by me again.”
171. "I’m sorry, what were you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
172. “I’m starting an idiot jar. Any time you do or say anything idiotic, you have to put at least a dollar in it—more depending on how stupid the thing that you said or did was.”
173. “I’m tired of being your secret.”
174. “I’m up to the challenge.”
175. “I’m yours.”
176. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life.”
177. “I’ve got good news and bad news.”
178. “I’ve moved on.”
179. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before… and it scares the shit out of me.”
180. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I can’t see you.”
181. “If he’s going to treat you like shit, I’m going to kick his ass.”
182. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”
183. “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”
184. “If I ever see you anywhere near her, you’ll have to deal with me!”
185. “If my parents knew what I was doing, they’d kill me.”
186. “If this is love, love is easy.”
187. “If you die, I’m gonna kill you.”
188. “If you don’t want to talk about what happened, then say so. Don’t just lie and say it’s fine.”
189. “If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.”
190. “If you shove cake in my face this will be the worst wedding night of your life.”
191. “IF YOU USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME, I’M GOING TO BAN YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH.”
192. “If you walk out right now, it’s over for us.”
193. “If you walk out that door, you’re no longer one of us. You’ll be one of them and that means I’ll treat you like one of them.”
194. “Is… is that even possible? Like, can we do this?”
195. “Is… that my picture in your wallet/as your home screen?”
196. “Is it really you?”
197. “Is it supposed to look like that? Are you sure?”
198. “Is that a challenge?”
199. “Is that an apology?”
200. “Is that real?”
201. “Is that what I think it is?”
202. “Is that what you’re doing? Trying to make me to hate you?”
203. “Is there a problem?”
204. “Is there a special reason, as to why you’re wearing my shirt?”
205. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
206. “It could be worse.”
207. “It made a difference to me.”
208. “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”
209. “It was just a dream.”
210. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”
211. “It’s a hobby of mine to prove you wrong.”
212. “It’s all your fault.”
213. “It’s been fun. We’ve had a good run, but you parked in my spot. I’m going to have to kill you now.”
214. “IT’S NOT COMING OFF!”
215. “It’s not what it looks like…”
216. “It’s okay, I’m here for you.”
217. “It’s okay to cry…”
218. “Just leave me ALONE.”
219. “Just talk to me!”
220. “Keep your head up.”
221. “Kiss me.”
222. “Let him go! It’s me you want.”
223. “Let me buy you a drink?”
224. “Let’s do something wild and crazy!”
225. “Look at me - just breathe, okay?”
226. “Look at that. I’ve never seen your face get so red.”
227. “Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.”
228. “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”
229. “Make a wish.”
230. “Marry me?”
231. “May I have this dance?”
232. “Meet me at midnight. Alone.”
233. “Meet me on the bridge in an hour.”
234. “Meet me on the roof in ten minutes.”
235. “Mind if I cut in?”
236. “My parents asked about you.”
237. “No! I’m tired of doing what you say!”
238. “No one needs to know.”
239. “No one will ever hurt you again.”
240. “None of this makes sense.”
241. “None of that matters now.”
242. “Not a day will go by that I won’t think of you.”
243. “Oh, my God! You’re in love with her!”
244. “Please don’t argue. You have to leave right now, you aren’t safe here.”
245. “Please don’t cry.”
246. “Please don’t do this.”
247. “Please, don’t give up on me.”
248. “Please, don’t leave.”
249. “Please listen to me-”
250. “Please say something.”
251. “Please, take me instead!”
252. “Promise me you won’t let anything happen to him.”
253. “Promise me you’ll stay.”
254. “Remember our first date? When you took me to Starbucks and it took me 15 minutes just to choose a flavour of Frappuccino? I was never sure about anything, never. But I was so fucking sure about you!”
255. “Run, and don’t ever look back.”
256. “She’s been missing since Friday and you’re not worried?”
257. “She’s missing, not dead.”
258. “Shit, are you bleeding?!”
259. “Shopping? Do I have to go?”
260. “Shut up and kiss me.”
261. “Since when do you drive a motorcycle?”
262. “So? It’s not your problem so butt out.”
263. “So, I found this waterfall…”
264. “So there was an accident…”
265. “Somebody’s in love!”
266. “Sorry, I thought I was alone…”
267. “Stop taking pictures! I’m fucking stuck. Be useful and help me!!”
268. “Stop talking about love for a minute and help me with this bullet wound.”
269. “Stop talking about the past, I could be dead in a matter of hours… make me up a future.”
270. “Teach me how to play?”
271. “Tell me a secret.”
272. “Tell me again why I let you convince me that this was even remotely a good idea.”
273. “That came out wrong.”
274. “That guy at the bar keeps staring at you.”
275. “That is not coming in this house!”
276. “That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!”
277. “The joke’s on them.”
278. “The paint’s supposed to go where?”
279. “The sign said not to push the button, so naturally I had to push it!”
280. “The skirt is supposed to be this short.”
281. “The three seconds rule doesn’t apply to sticky foods.”
282. “The way you flirt is shameful.”
283. “There are plenty of people out there who love you.” “Yeah, like who?” “Like me.”
284. “There’s no getting out of this. You ruined me.”
285. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
286. “Things don’t always turn out how they should.”
287. “This is… this is somewhere I never imagined I’d be.”
288. “This is by far the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”
289. “This is so going on YouTube!”
290. “This isn’t just about you. It’s about what’s best for all of us.”
291. “Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”
292. “Time’s up!”
293. “Twins? We’re…we’re having twins?!”
294. “W…Was that you making that noise?”
295. “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”
296. “Wait, do you two know each other?”
297. “Wake up! Please, please wake up.”
298. “Walk it off!”
299. “Wanna bet?”
300. "Wanna dance?”
301. “We could be amazing!”
302. “We could’ve had it all.”
303. “We have to pretend to be married.”
304. “We missed our chance.”
305. “We’ll finish it the same way we started it…together.”
306. “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?”
307. "Well….don’t keep me waiting”
308. “Well, this is awkward…”
309. “Well, this is where I live.”
310. “What are you afraid of?”
311. “What did I ever done to you?”
312. “What other hidden talents do you have?”
313. “What the hell are you doing here?! I told you I never wanted to see you again!”
314. “What the hell was that?!”
315. “What were you thinking?? Were you trying to get yourself killed?”
316. “When are you going to realize that I don’t care?”
317. “When I come back, that better be exactly where you found it!”
318. “When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”
319. “Where did that cat come from?”
320. “Where did you find this?”
321. “Where did you learn to dance?”
322. “Where were you? Do you have any idea how worried I was?”
323. “Who brought pot brownies to the bake sale?!”
324. “Who gave you that black eye?!”
325. “Who’s gonna stop me? You?”
326. “Why are you baking muffins at three in the morning?”
327. “Why are you covered in mud?”
328. “Why are you dressed like that?”
329. “Why are you lying?”
330. “Why are you up so early?”
331. “Why can’t they see that they’re meant for each other?”
332. “Why can’t you see what you’re doing to me?”
333. “Why choose me?”
334. “Why do I even bother?”
335. “Why don’t they just kiss already?”
336. “Why don’t you say that to my face?”
337. “Why wouldn’t you come to me with your problems?”
338. “Will you just shut up for a moment so I can say something nice to you!”
339. “Will you please just give me a hand?”
340. “You are nothing like them.”
341. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
342. “You better have a good reason for waking me up at the ass-crack of dawn.”
343. “You braided his hair?”
344. “You broke what?!”
345. “You came back!”
346. “You can trust me.”
347. “You can’t just sit on the sidelines your whole life!”
348. “You can’t leave me in the dark. You have to tell me these things.”
349. "You can’t protect me.”
350. “You deserve so much better.”
351. “You did all of this for me?”
352. “You did this for me?”
353. “YOU DID WHAT?!”
354. “You didn’t tell me it was karaoke night…”
355. “You don’t have to stay.”
356. “You don’t know you the way I do.”
357. “You don’t need to protect me.”
358. “You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”
359. “You got her pregnant?! What were you thinking?”
360. “You had me at ‘free pizza!’”
361. “You have no idea what I’ve done for you.”
362. “You have the most amazing eyes.”
363. “You have to make a choice.”
364. “You have to remember!”
365. “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”
366. “You heard me. Take. It. Off.”
367. “You know I wouldn’t do this if I had any other choice.”
368. “You know my name?”
369. “You know, it hurt when I realized that you’re not in love with me. But nothing can compare to the pain I felt when I saw you fall in love with him…”
370. “You know, it’s okay to cry.”
371. “You lied to me!”
372. ″You look beautiful.”
373. “You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”
374. “You need to leave. Right now.”
375. “You need to let her go.”
376. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”
377. “You never told me you had a fucking twin.”
378. “You say the nastiest things when you’re angry, so yes, I’m walking away from you now.”
379. “You shouldn’t have even been there!”
380. “You walked away. Not me.”
381. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
382. “You’ll be the death of me.”
383. “You’re hiding something from me.”
384. “You’re my one exception.”
385. “You’re not alone.”
386. “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”
387. “You’re the only one I trust to do this.”
388. “You’re too good for me.”
389. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”
390. “You’ve only heard his side of the story. You never asked mine.”

100 Reasons to Love Kim Namjoon

today is my 3 year anniversary of loving namjoon and so here’s 100 reasons everyone should love him !!!!!!!

  1. he gave up a stable future of studying and going to college (despite being so smart) to risk everything and pursue his dream of becoming a rapper
  2. had to fight criticism for being an ‘idol’ rapper and struggled for years with his decision and identity
  3. when he says he loves himself !!!!
  4. never forget this cute tummy flash !!!!!!!!
  5. he loves all his members so much sosososo much, he always puts them before himself 
  6. WHEN HE’S LAUGHING REALLY HARD AND HE STARTS SEAL CLAPPING
  7. that one time tae came to sleep next to namjoon and namjoon sleepily held tae’s hand and wouldn’t let go
  8. his signature move when he takes his two index fingers and covers one of his eyes while looking deadass into the camera
  9. HIS DOE SHAPED PRETTY CHOCOLATE BROWN EYES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  10. professional self-dragger, literally willingly drags his own ass
  11. his mixtape release in 2015, every song was so important and deep and okay, it’s largely forgotten because of yoongi’s mixtape but it has so much emotion and meaning behind every song
  12. he loveloveloves dogs !
  13. literally has looked like the best thing the world has to offer no matter what rainbow ass hair color bighit sticks him with
  14. that golden age when his hair was black when will that look come back from the war ://////////
  15. you know that thing he does when he’s been rapping and suddenly breaks out into a smile and scrunches his nose and winks with one eye mmmmmmmmokay !!!!
  16. his angry rap when his neck veins show because he’s literally putting his all into it
  17. the way he looks in beanies !!!!!!!!! with one ear tucked in and the other sticking out
  18. the mole on the left side right under his jawline 
  19. the fact that he literally read books on philosophy for hyyh
  20. THE WAY !!!!!!!!! HE LOOKS !!!!!!!!!!!! IN A SUIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  21. that time his speaker wasn’t working and he yelled at it and it started to work, Legends Only
  22. the fact that he isn’t afraid to try out weird kinds of fashion and won’t hear shit about it
  23. has been known to support LGBT since 2012
  24. THAT TIME BTS WERE IN ISAC IN 2015 AND HE WAS EVERY MEMBER’S HYPE MAN 
  25. when he’s too lazy to wear contacts so he wears his thick black rimmed glasses :’(((((((((((
  26. that time he had a wardrobe malfunction and had his whole shirt ripped off during that dance break and he did the whole performance holding up the sorry remains of his shirt 
  27. the fact that kim namjoon invented dimples !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no really he did
  28. how he is literally incapable of doing a fan sign without making it a display of how much aegyo he can fit in any given span of time and then immediately be shy and embarrassed about it
  29. 6 feet tall, he is 6 feet tall also don’t forget that he is literally the eiffel tower because nothing is taller than 6 feet just sayin
  30. that amazing and blessed time he had silver hair and my heart literally exploded !!!!!!!!!!!
  31. HIS PRETTY PINK POUTY PLUSH PERFECT LIPS 
  32. that time bts was doing rainism and he was the only one who didn’t know all the moves and messed up but pulled it off confidently in the end
  33. he literally loves his mom so much i’m :’(((((((
  34. HIS ALL BLACK OUTFITS AND THE WAY HE LOOKS WHEN HE WEARS ALL BLACK AND THE WAY ALL BLACK LOOKS ON HIM AND -
  35. the fact that every time someone tells him to do a freestyle dance, it’s literally the same awkward robotic jerky dance with the failing arms and legs since 2013
  36. when he tries to sing even though the members laugh at him
  37. HE JUST WANTS TO CATCH CRABS FOR GOODNESS SAKE
  38. his cute soft pretty pink knees :’))))))))))
  39. in the fire era when he had that acorn haircut and pulled that shit off when will your fave ever
  40. he reads, he has an IQ of 148, he was the nation’s top 1% in 5 subjects in high school, he -
  41. his smile his beautiful glorious soft glowing stunning breathtaking smile that smile that you only have the privilege of seeing someone have one in a million times in your life, the kind of smile that could change the world
  42. the way he looks in a choker the way he looks in a choker the way he looks in a chok-
  43. okay !!!!!!!!!! but his cute squishy tiny nose so kissable n someone please bop it and pinch it and it’s soosososo cute 
  44. the way he gets his hands inky and dirty every single fan sign every single darn one !!!!!!!!!!!! why are they dirty? what is he doing ?????
  45. THE AUDACITY HE HAS TO WINK AND BITE LIPS AT CAMERAS THE SHEER AUDACITY
  46. the way his arms look in sleeveless tops his arms !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  47. the way he looks in snapbacks mmmmmmmmmmmm
  48. that time on running man when everyone was supposed to have as many boxes as possible and he literally got his box snatched from his hands and he tripped over nothing he’s the dorkiest softest boy -
  49. SAILORMON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  50. that time he wore the army khakis and outfit and i just ://////// oh my god
  51. his side profile his perfect gorgeous beautiful angelic side profile !!!!
  52. his obsession with ryan and how happy he got when jimin got him a ryan cake for his birthday fkdsfhgfd
  53. legs for days !!!!!!!!!!!!!
  54. that time namjoon was a minion for halloween 
  55. “I had to dance to survive in this cold, cruel world.”
  56. his cute outfit in the baepsae dance practice video :((((((((((
  57. he looks sosoososososo unbeliveably beautiful bare faced i just love him so much 
  58. that time during the hyyh prologue shooting when all the members were piling onto him and he yelled ‘MY BALLS, MAN’
  59. his fucnkgn !!!!!!!!!! puma photoshoot binch !!!!!!!!!!!
  60. the fact that he sang expensive girl and took the fact that he didn’t get a grammy for it like a man :///
  61. that time they won their first award in 2015 and he was cleARLY CRYING but denied it like “i’m not crying”
  62. THAT TIME HE LITERALLY DESCRIBED HIS ERECTION ON LIVE RADIO AIR IN ENGLISH 
  63. that one time !!!!!!!!!!!!!! bts had an outdoor performance and his white shirt got sososososooso sweaty it was basically stuck to him and see through if you don’t know what i’m talking about then goodbye
  64. those RARE times when he smiles and sticks his tongue out at the same time !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  65. that time he was complaining about jungkook and the fruit flies and the weird as shit way he pronounced ‘vaccuum’
  66. his messy friendship with jackson 
  67. the fact that he apologized for the mistakes he has made in the past and made no excuses about them 
  68. award for having the world’s cutest and flattest tushy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  69. i don’t know if anyone noticed but the way he holds his fingers when he’s explaining something like he puts them in awkward bent angles and they’re really long and expressive i just looooovvveeeee
  70. that time he was doing a duet with this female singer for a show and he picked her up from the airport and held a sign with her name and got shy around her he’s the biggest gentleman DDDD:
  71. deep husky voice like shots of pure liquid gold sends shivers down my spine ://////////
  72.  KIM DAILY
  73. that time he held a tiny itty bitty baby frog on his index finger i dont know why it was so cute of him i just !!!
  74. sweaty namjoon when namjoon sweats the sweat namjoon produces 
  75. that time he tried to twerk but ‘something keeps dangling’
  76. when !!!!!!!!!! he wears tight pants and his thighs are almost bursting out of his pants jdfkkhkj
  77. the way he says ‘baby’
  78. EVERY ‘WHAT AM I TO YOU’ PERFORMANCE HE’S EVER DONE
  79. that time he was asked to pick between solo and bts and didn’t hesitate for a microsecond before saying bts
  80. THAT TIME NAMJOON DID THIS GUITAR ACOUSTIC WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND HE RAPPED SO SWEETLY MY HEART OVERFLOWED
  81. taught himself english by listening to 10 english dvds 10 times over 3 years 
  82. special thank you to every namjoon stylist who made him wear low cut shirts
  83. THE WAY HE LOOKS WEARING A MASSIVE HOODIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  84. ‘and i’m sexy like a porn star’
  85. accepts and settles for being the least popular bts member
  86. the way he looks when he wears headbands 
  87. when his sleeves are super long so he has sweater paws and his pretty fingers stick out slightly jdsfkshgkjfmncvb
  88. sub par body rolls that can still make you squirm and cry :////////
  89. once when he was the first in a lineup in a fan sign he told a fan ‘now you’ve practiced on me, you can do this in front of your real bias’
  90. got to write in “힙합하다 1” (‘This is Hip Hop 1: South Korea, Hip Hop and Life’) which is a hip hop book for 42 top korean hip hop artists
  91. THAT TINY MOLE BELOW HIS BOTTOM LIP THAT YOU CAN ONLY SEE IF HE SMILES REALLY WIDE
  92. the way he looks in a tie ohohohoohohoho my gosh !!!!!!!!!!!!!
  93. that time in the ariport the cameraman said ‘the girls love you guys’ and namjoon was like ‘thanks, we love you too’
  94. the way he wrote about the sunset in his diary when he went to dubai 
  95. HE HAS BENDY ARMS !!!!!!!!! NO REALLY I SWEAR THEY BEND BACKWARDS 
  96. he once told a fan ‘sorry’ when she told him she got him photocard
  97. he said that he wanted to know what it was like going to college and sometimes he feels like he missed out on that experience :///
  98. can you believe namjoon invented having pretty hands??????? Amazing
  99. he cares sosooso much about other people he’s always wondering how his fans are doing, what they feel like, always giving advice, always learning and growing, never stopping
  100. “I’m still existing, still breathing. Even though I keep looking forward and run, sometimes I still look back. The path in front and behind are still far, but even so, if the people who look at me are still dreaming and picking up their strengths, that alone makes me feel good. It’s okay to live this way, breaking down, getting hurt and looking back at the past. I will live. I am living like this. Me. Us.”
my recap of 170323 The Wings Tour
  • Got sprayed by the holy water, blessedt by Yoongi and Hoseok themselves
  • In sugAR DADDY ROBES MIGHT I ADD
  • Some girls lightstick bomb top went flying from behind me; thrusting her light stick too hard
  • A girl fainted in the pit RIGHT when they were going on stage
  • Taehyung likes blowing kisses and having us go insane
  • Got noticed by Jimin, Seokjin, Namjoon, and Jungkook plenty, I got a nod and smile from Yoongi.
  • Then I got Hoseok who was just being a fluffy hyper baby the whole time who had 17 cups of coffee
  • I don’t think he noticed me
  • Taehyung was pretty chill, he was exploring everywhere. I think he gave me a wave at some point.
  • B LE S S THEIR ASSES FOR COMING TO MY SIDE
  • The girl next to me was a Jimin stan and went nuts when she saw him do Lie, I’m not kidding, she was full on convulsing and wanting to jump the rail in front of us
  • I collapsed on my friend and the seat every time they played those bOPS
  • EVERYTIME I SAT DOWN BECAUSE MY FEET HURT I’D SAY “OH MAN MY FEET HURT I MIGHT JUST SIT DOWN AND RELAX–”
  • “EVERYBODY J U M P”
  • NEVER M I ND THEY TO L D ME TO J U MP
  • CYPHER 4 WAS SO LOUD AND YOONGI LOOKED LIKE A DAMN VAMPIRE AGAIN
  • A girl was screaming JHOOOOOOOOPE every 2 seconds without rest. I aim to be that fucking girl. Bless you.
  • When everybody was not putting up banners at the according songs and it was confusing af since we had like 2 to 3 projects going on lmao so I didn’t get to use them that much
  • YET TAEHYUNG MANAGED TO GET ONE AND SHOW IT OFF AND I WAS EXTREMELY HAPPY HE GOT IT ON THE STAGE
  • Seokjin got hit with a cap and just stared at it on the floor like “excuse you hoe I’m tryna talk tf?”
  • Someone was legit chucking plushies up there and Hoseok grabbed them all to hug them at once
  • wHAT A CUTIE I'MMA DIE–
  • there was so much shoving and pushing to get through processing oml it was scary seeing everyone rush
  • everyone was loud. just loud. it was perfect
  • I HAVE TO SAY THIS–
  • WE DIDN’T PUT THE BAGS ON OUR LIGHTSTICKS FOR THE RIGHT SONG. IT WAS GONNA BE FOR 2!3! BUT OUTRO: WINGS STARTED AND I WAS SHOOK LIKE WAIT WE WERE EARLY OH W E L L
  • SO WE KEPT THEM ON LOL
  • someone gave Jungkook the American flag after he gestured to it for it to be given to him, and wore it as a cape after displaying it. this is going to be his thing. idc.
  • Jungkook = New Captain America
  • everyone kept throwing plushies at Hoseok and Taehyungs feet like guys they gotta wALK DON’T BUST THEY ANKLES
  • Namjoon smiling really big whenever we’d take over his lines
  • Yoongi doing the “let’s take out my inner ear piece and see all my bitches scream for me” for his introduction
  • fuccboi hoesucc come thru with baepsae and mama
  • jimin’s no hands when he was hip thrusting into the air like he tryna bust a nut on stage… boi
  • s l u t d r o p s
  • high notes into over drive by maknae/vocal line
  • everyone sang awake
  • THEIR EN G L I SH TH O
  • Seokjin and Yoongi made me cry, and the chorus to Spring Day
  • had them back up violinists and shit for some songs, being fancy
  • I WAS QUANTUM NUTTING FOR LOST, HAD TO HOLD THE RAIL BECAUSE THEY CAME OUT CENTER STAGE AND I DIDN’T KNOW HOW CLOSE THEY’D BE LMAO
  • I did a body heart to Namjoon and he had thAT DIMPLE FACE I FELT COMPLETE
  • Jimin teasing tf out of the girls in pit… way too close to the edge… back up bruh, they want to eat you alive, don’t do it
  • me: *watches Taehyung do Stigma*
  • me: “WAIT FOR IT”
  • also me: “hoe don’t do it”
  • me in the end: “omg”
  • he hit the note
  • I have announced my funeral
  • y'all are invited
  • when they were saying goodbye, Hoseok and two other members had us all waving our arms to the ending of Spring Day left to right for a straight minute, we mirrored them exactly the same way
  • I think my friend said Taehyung or Jimin cried
  • I’ll have to see about that later
  • many many hobi stans
  • the look on their faces when we did the rainbow ocean for them
  • seokjin’s sHOULDERS FUCK MY LIFE
  • wanna climb his ass like a tree
  • the way yoongi stomps and raps at the same time had me rolling, he’s an angry smol man tryna prove a point
  • …When someone tells you jimin is 10x more handsome in person, believe them. just do it.
  • I made a mistake of even looking at him
  • I’m swerving
  • they are very real. all seven of them. wow.
  • I was too close for my own good to them
  • I’m not okay
  • but seriously what the fuck
  • why can’t I go back in time to watch Yoongi say “fuck you and you” in a strangled growl on loop, live and in my face? :’)

I wish I could go to Newark Day 2. Please give them so much love. Stay safe. Don’t push. Don’t shove. Don’t throw too many things at them. Just be respectful. They want to have a good time and so do you!

BTS deserves plenty of love from you guys. Have fun!

I’ve been thinking about professor!magnus and soldier!alec since yesterday and idk if I want to commit myself to writing something like that when I know nothing about the army but I feel like there could be something very heartbreaking about it. 

Like maybe Alec is about to be deployed and it’s his what… 2nd? 3rd? tour and he’s happy to be unattached, despite what his siblings always say, because he knows how hard it is to be separated from the ones he loves but also to be left behind and he doesn’t want to do that to someone. So he doesn’t date and he doesn’t have a lot of close friends apart from his family and it’s ok, hes doing something important, serving his country and following his family’s footsteps (ofc they’d be a big military family) but then he meets Magnus … Idk where, somewhere random like a bookstore or grocery store or the outdoor market Izzy dragged him to and sparks  f l y. And Alec is confused/overwhelmed and reluctant despite Magnus flirting 110% with him. Maybe they exchange numbers maybe not, maybe they randomly meet again and Magnus is like uh funny twist of fate *flirty grin* and Alec is just…. abort mission holy shit help ???Because even though he’s had flings and hooks up, he’s never had a crush or somebody that made him go w o w  like this and it’s new? But he kinda wants to break his rule and say yes when the hot college professor asks him out and that’s new and kinda scary but he blurts out yes before he can fully think about it or change his mind. Of course, he has a nervous breakdown afterward and Izzy is like pls find your chill but he can’t find his chill cause he’s going away to get shot at in less than 3 months and the timing couldn’t more off and that’s not fair to Magnus to get him involved like that… Because, of course, Alec is the type of person to worry too much before anything even happens. Anyway, so they go on a date maybe a walk at dusk and some ice cream?? Idk why but I’m imagining this is set in a small coastal town? They can walk near the water while talking about everything and nothing?? I’m seeing a make out session on top of a lighthouse? Anyway, when Alec tells Magnus what he does and where he’s going he’s all sorry about that I should have told you straight away when you asked me out but Magnus is all its ok lets just see where this goes, it doesn’t have to be serious since you’re leaving so soon and they agree to have a fling… but feelings happen and it’s inconvenient!!!

I like imagining Alec walking Magnus to his classes when he’s stayed over the night before (Magnus teaches history in this, I feel it). And maybe on mornings he wasn’t at Magnus’ he does a little detour on his morning run to buy him breakfast and he leaves it in his office during the 8am lecture that Magnus hates so that he’ll have something nice after that hardship, a little muffin and a coffee with a cute note on the cup ‘cause Alec is sappy af even though he tries very hard to hide it. And maybe he buys Magnus peonies at some point, just because they’re pretty and Magnus is pretty and he’s never bought flowers for anyone before and he wanted to… And Magnus keeps teasing him flowers are not casual Mister!! because it’s easier to flirt and tease than to acknowledge the fact that Alec is leaving really soon and he might not come back, and Magnus isn’t even important enough to be considered someone he’s leaving behind (or at least that’s how he feels). Magnus tries not to think about it but he’s obsessing over the idea that he doesn’t even know Alec’s family and friends, doesn’t know anyone who would tell him if something happened??? But he doesn’t want to bring it up because it’s supposed to be casual and meaningless, something that ends when the semester ends. So they keep going on dates and Alec cooks for him and Magnus tries to ignore the uneasy feeling growing in his chest as time flies too fast. Until there aren’t any time left and Alec is leaving. So they take a walk just like their first date and they have ice cream and they make love and they definitely don’t talk about it even though they both know that they should and Alec just… leaves. 

And Magnus tries not to have a hard time about it but it’s tough and he’s grateful it’s the end of the semester ‘cause at least he’s busy between marking terrible essays and correcting exams. He goes out with his friends from the history department once they’re all done and he tries to have a fun time, but truth is… he’s worried. He starts watching the news a little too obsessively and his friends don’t like it but he can’t help himself. 

Alec has been gone three weeks when the first letter comes. It takes Magnus by surprise at first because in all the times they’ve been together Alec has always been a man of little words. That’s not to say he was emotionally unavailable or unwilling to discuss things and his feelings, but this is new, the way the words flow easily on the page like it was no hardship at all to put it all down, descriptions of his unit and where he is, a full paragraph about how much he misses Magnus’ cat and nothing about them at all. But Magnus gets it, he sees it for what it is, a peace offering maybe or a stubborn unwillingness to let go, so he writes back. He talks about his students, their successes and their struggles, and his friends, little things that have reminded him of Alec since he’s been gone. Soft stories for a soft boy in a hard place. And they keep going back and forth, sending each other little pieces of their respective lives and it should be enough, it’s more than Magnus expected, but it’s tough and he misses Alec like a limb, misses him in his bed and in his kitchen, misses him when summer classes start and he has no one to hold his hand on his way to work, no callused fingers to wrap around his… But every new letter is a blessing. It says many things but underneath it all, the most important message is I’m still here, I’m alive and I’m thinking about you. 

Okay so maybe it all comes to a halt one day when his phone rings and it’s Alec on the line, after all those weeks, all those months, and he sounds like h e l l  and he’s there on the phone, apologizing to Magnus because his phone bill is gonna be awful but I …. I just… I needed to hear your voice Magnus, I’m sorry. You… you c-can send me the bill if you want, I just… and it takes everything Magnus has for him not to break down and cry right there and then because Alec really doesn’t sound okay and he has no idea what happened and he has no idea what they are but that’s his boy there on the phone who’s hurting and he hasn’t heard his voice in weeks… So Magnus is like Please shut up about my phone bill, I don’t give a fuck about that. How are you? Are you okay? What happened? And Alec is reluctant to talk about it, doesn’t want to give any details, just keeps saying rough day, Magnus, rough day in this small voice and Magnus hates it more than he’s ever hated anything in his life. He doesn’t want to push Alec too hard so he just asks what can I do? and he hates the way his voice shakes, he wishes he could be stronger than this but Alec doesn’t seem to mind, he just sighs like he’s tired deep in his bones, deep in his soul, and says: just talk to me. So Magnus does, he rambles on nervously about what he had for breakfast and what he taught today, his lecture plan for tomorrow, his neighbor’s hatred for his cat and his favorite designer on the new season of Project Runway. He just babbles on, hoping it can help. All he wants to do is help. Alec hums here and there, asks a few questions, especially about Magnus’ work and at some point he runs out of things to say. There’s a beat of silence before he whispers I love you and he knows that won’t help but he can’t keep it inside anymore, he can’t live with this trapped inside of him, fighting to break free. Alec sighs again. I.. I w-wish… You… you shouldn’t say that. Don’t say that, please. It shouldn’t take Magnus by surprise but it does and it hurts. Me not saying it won’t make it untrue Alexander. Alec groans in frustration and Magnus can picture it perfectly, the way he’s probably bent over, head between his knees, one hand harshly buried in his hair. I didn’t want to put you through that. I didn’t want to put anyone through that but especially not you. He’s so noble and he’s so caring and Magnus knew that already but it hits him again, hard, that this is a man who puts others before himself every single time and who will fight tooth and nail anyone who dares try taking care of him. So Magnus does his best to sound as stern as he can:  Well just too bad because I’m here and you’re there and I love you. And you wishing it hadn’t happened won’t change anything and if you like me even the tiniest bit you’ll call me again because I have been worried sick. 

Alec calls every week after that. There’s a new kind of anxiety that comes with waiting for the phone call, waiting for the confirmation that Alec is okay, but Magnus is happy to live with it when it means he can hear Alec’s voice once a week, warm and soft when he asks Magnus what he’s been up to and insists to be put on the phone with the cat. I don’t want him to forget me! 

That boy. 

They don’t talk about what they are again and it takes until Alec is back on American soil, his head buried in Magnus’ neck so no one can see him cry, for him to say I love you back, but it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t need it. For now, Magnus cherishes every time his phone rings and he gets connected to Alec, he cherishes every time he can make him laugh, he cherishes every single plan they start making, every single hint that they can have a future together. 

It’s enough. 

Adored by Him

A/N: So this fic is inspired by the song “Adored by Him” by Dodie Clark. Yeah that’s really it… 

Warnings: Swearing but that’s normal.

Word Count: 2, 428

Your POV 

I honestly never expected any of this to happen. When I became friends with Dan, I did think he was handsome and funny. But I didn’t think I would fall for him as fast as I did. I always pushed away the feelings until they asked if I wanted to move in with them. Being around him 24/7 made it harder to conceal it so I just let it happen. No one knew about my feelings, except Phil, who figured out a year ago. I always expected the feelings to just go away but they didn’t.

But then she happened. Allison was Dan’s most recent girlfriend. They’ve been dating for many months now, and he was absolutely smitten (cheeky Dodie reference again) with her. He never spoke about how he felt about her, but I was able to tell. The way he looked at her with adoring eyes, and smile at the mere mention of her name. I don’t blame him though. She was beautiful, with her butterscotch hair and her smile that could shine brighter than the sun, I bet anybody would fall her easily. She was literally perfect, and I was just…well me. It was easy to figure out how she made Dan’s soul practically glow, and it hurt. A lot.  

I won’t hate you but oh it stings,

How does it feel to be adored by him? 

It was hard to hate Allison. She was super nice, and had the same sense of humor as Dan. Plus, she makes him happy. That’s what matters, right?


I was sitting on the couch, watching my favorite movie with Phil. It was raining outside so we decided to dedicate the day to watching a bunch of movies. Phil and I were cuddled up under a blanket, eating popcorn. It was relaxing to say the least. Dan was out at Allison’s house so, of course, Phil questioned me about my feelings.

“Are you ever going to tell him, Y/N?” Phil asked, nudging my arm with his elbow.

I pulled up the blanket to my chest, and sighed heavily. “Philly we’ve talked about this before. I’ll only ruin things so-" 

"You should tell him. It’s best to get it out there.” Phil gave me a sympathetic look. It’s like he knew Dan wouldn’t return the feelings but he didn’t want to keep any secrets. To be honest I’m surprised he didn’t tell Dan by now. 

“Phil, look-”

Phil and I jumped off the couch when we heard a loud bang, and stumbling coming from downstairs. We exchanged confused glances, and hurried to the front door to see Dan, stumbling around the entrance of our flat.

“Hi guys!” Dan said, his speech slurred.

“Dan what the hell happened!?” Phil questioned, running up to his best friend’s side and helping him take his shoes off. 

“Heh, Allison and I got in a fight. Stupid really-” He tripped over his shoes that he just took off and laughed. He looked up into my eyes and smiled. “Don’t worry I’m fine.” Dan pushed Phil’s hand off his shoulder, and walked up the stairs by himself.

“Y/N, do you want to make sure he’s okay?” Phil asked, walking up to my side as we slowly followed Dan up the stairs.

“Why?”

“Just talk to him." 

I let out another sigh, and took another glance at Dan, who stumbled into his bedroom. "Okay. I’m not telling drunk Dan anything though.” I pointed my finger at Phil, and let out a small laugh to lighten the mood. Phil shook his head, smacking my hand away and smiling.

“Just go.” He laughed. 

I walked to the kitchen, and poured a small glass of water for Dan. I ignored the aching pain in my chest, and the tears swelling up in my eyes. I put down the glass for a moment to take a deep breath, and recollect myself. After a few minutes, I made my way towards Dan’s room where I saw him softly crying. My heart broke at the sight. It pained me so much to see another girl make Dan hurt. I hated it. I walked towards Dan’s bed and gave him the glass of water. 

“Here you go, sweetie.” I sat at the end of his bed, waiting for his response. 

“Thank you.” Dan sniffed, taking a sip of the water. 

“You want to talk about what happened?” I moved closer to him. His legs were hanging over the edge of his bed and he was staring at the cup of water in his lap.

“She doesn’t trust me.”  

“What do you mean?” I was right by his side after I finished the question. I tried to make eye contact with him but he was so closed off, I decided to keep a little distance.

“She thinks that I’m cheating on her with you.” He lifted his head slowly and stared into my eyes. My face turned red and I stared at the ground. I felt the butterflies in my stomach go crazy, and I had to take a deep breath again to calm myself down. I looked back into his beautiful, chocolate eyes and stared in silence for a while.  

Pretty girl there’s no need to fret

Because it’s midnight, he’s drunk, and you’re the one in his head.

You don’t even have to try at all. 

“I can’t say I’m in love with her but I feel something…strong towards her you know? I’m not even sure if she feels the same. It’s just- It hurts a lot that she doesn’t even trust me. ” Dan’s eyes got glossy, and he stared down at his cup again. All I did was nod my head. I understood where he was coming from. Someone you may be in love with and they might not even return the feeling. How ironic. 

“I understand, Dan. But you should get some rest, then talk to her in the morning.” I flashed a fake smile at Dan and stood up from his bed. I stood in front of him, and he stared into my eyes like he was searching for something.

“Thank you, Y/N. You’re honestly the best.” Dan put his glass down on his bedside table and got up to give me hug. I accepted it, taking in his warmth for that short moment I had. I sighed when he pulled away and sat in his bed. “You want to…stay with me for a bit?” He asked, not making eye contact. I gave him a weak smile, and nodded, sitting next to him as he got comfortable underneath the blanket.

I lost track of time, waiting for Dan to fall asleep. I stared at his sleeping figure for god knows how long, I felt like a complete creep. He looked so peaceful with his head resting in my lap it was hard not to. I gently stroked his hair as he slowly fell asleep, his arms wrapped around my body as his head rested on my leg. I checked the time on his phone, 1:00 am. I noticed his lock screen, expecting it to be a picture of him and Allison. But instead it was a picture of him, me, and Phil at VidCon on our day off. I smiled at it, but quickly my smile faded when a text from Allison popped up. I decided to ignore it, and finally leave Dan’s side. 

I crept towards the kitchen, hoping not to wake Dan or Phil up. However, to my surprise Phil was standing in the kitchen, drinking some tea while leaning against the counter. 

“So, how did it go?” He asked, staring at me. 

“She doesn’t trust him apparently. Allison thinks he’s cheating on her with…me.” I sighed. All my emotions that I’ve been holding in all night were surfacing, and I wasn’t going to let it happen. “Um, he’s asleep now. He asked me to stay with him for a little while and I lost track of time because he was…uh-" 

"Cuddling with you?” Phil flashed me a smile, but it faded when he looked into my eyes and noticed the tears coming up. He gave me a sympathetic look and walked closer to me. “You should just tell him so he knows. So you don’t have to keep hurting. He will understand, Y/N." 

"I know Phil. It’s just- it hurts seeing them together so much. And of course I want him to be happy! But that selfish part of me wants him to be happy with me. God, it fucking hurts.” I felt a warm streak roll down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it away, looking away from Phil. 

“Y/N.” I knew he was trying to make me look at him, but I hated being this vulnerable. “Y/N.” I gave in and stared into Phil’s icy blue eyes. It was full of sympathy, and I couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Phil, don’t look at me like that please. It’s only making me feel worse.” I felt more tears surfacing and let out a heavy sigh. I heard Phil mumble a small apology and he embraced me in a warm, loving hug. At that point I finally broke. I started sobbing into his shirt, with every sob he would hold me tighter, and tell me everything was going to be okay. He gently ran his hands through my hair. I pulled away from Phil, and sniffed, gently rubbing my nose. 

“Y/N, I know it hurts but-” Phil paused in the middle of his sentence and stared behind me. I looked up to Phil, then turned around to see what he was looking at. There was Dan, his hair curly and disheveled, and his empty glass in his hands.

“What’s wrong?” Dan asked, noticing my red, puffy eyes and the tear stains on Phil’s shirt. He looked into my eyes and I could tell he was concerned.

“N-Nothing.” I lied.

“Obviously there’s something wrong, Y/N, tell me.” Dan walked over to the counter and placed his cup on the surface. I looked up to Phil, and nodded, signaling for him to give us some alone time. When Phil left the room, Dan pulled me into a tight hug, and for the second time that night I broke down. “Want to talk to me about what happened?”

I pulled away from Dan and stared at the floor. “It’s not really about w-what happened. It’s more…what’s happening.” I let out a fake chuckle. Dan shot me a confused look, and backed up to lean against the counter.

“Tell me what’s going on or so help me god Y/N I will-”

“Okay. Um. I guess.”

“Spit it out, please.” Dan tilted his head, giving me a worried look. God I can’t handle this anymore.

“Okay, you don’t even have to respond to this…but I really need it out in the open.” I could feel my heart beating out of my chest, and I took deep unsteady breath. “I just need you to know that…that” I stared into Dan’s eyes and I could feel my heart aching all over again. I felt tears pouring out of my eyes and saw Dan’s tall figure making his way over to comfort me again but I pulled away.

“Please don’t. You’re just going to make this harder.”
“Y/N tell me. Please, you’re making me worried.” I realized that Dan and I were standing really close, closer than we usually are. I looked into his beautiful eyes like it was the last time then stared at the floor.

“I think I’m in love with you.” I mumbled. 

“What? Speak up, love.” Dan said softly. 

“Fuck.” I ran my fingers through my hair and avoided eye contact at all costs. “I think I’m in love with you and it fucking stings so much to see you and Allison together. I mean I don’t blame you, or her. Allison is like the definition of perfect. I mean she makes me look blind with how adventurous she is and you look at her like the world is fucking perfect. It’s so stupid to think that I could compare to her. But god, do I wish it was me in your arms instead of her. Don’t even get me started about how I feel about you because there is too much history to even go over.” I shook my head, staring at the ground, watching my tears hit the white kitchen tiles.

“Y/N, can you look at me please?” Dan was still speaking softly. 

“Dan I told you, you don’t have to even say anything. You could just simply ignore it and leave, I’ll get the point." 

"Look at me, Y/N.” Dan said, more stern but still full of care. I rolled my eyes and stared into his eyes. Even though my vision was blurred I could still see the small glimmer in his eyes. “I’m sorry for-”

“Dan I told you, you don’t have to do this." 

"Y/N, we need to talk about this. We can’t just ignore it.”

“Well I’ve been ignoring it for 3 years now, so I think I’m good. I know the speech you’re about to give me and I just…” I let out a muffled sob into my hand, and looked back up to him. “Please I can’t take this right now." 

"Please let me just-" 

"Dan, I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have said anything. I really need fresh air…I’ll be back in a bit." 

Dan looked over to the clock on the oven, and slowly moved towards the door. "It’s 1:20, Y/N you can’t go outside alone." 

"Well I am, so please move.” Dan was blocking the doorway. I made eye contact with him and got lost in his eyes again. I felt like time slowed down when we stared into each other’s eyes, but I broke the contact because I felt more tears coming. Dan reluctantly walked up to me, opening his arms to give me a hug. But instead, I pulled away from him. 

“I’m so sorry.” I mumbled, and ran down the stairs to the front door, putting on my shoes and coat. 

“Y/N wait-”

I left before I could hear anymore. I let the cold London air enter my lungs, as I tried to relax from what happened, and trying to decide if I should go back and face Dan, or go to a friend’s house. I ultimately decided on staying outside for a while. Sitting on a park bench staring at the trees in the park as I replayed what happened through my head. 

What am I going to do?

A/N: Second part? Or leave it there? YOU DECIDE

Josh Dun Imagine

Prompt: Josh is in a car accident 

It was late Friday night when you got the phone call.  Josh had gone out with some friends to celebrate him being back in LA.  You were equally excited to be back home and have a bit of a break, but you chose to stay home and enjoy doing absolutely nothing for the first time in months. You and Josh had spent all of last week in Jamaica, holed up in a luxury hotel to have a nice vacation together, so you didn’t even bat an eye when Josh told you that he was meeting some of his friends. You simply kissed him and sent him on his way.

It had been two or three hours since Josh had left when your phone rang.  Laura’s name popped up, along with a picture of her, Josh and you from Ashley’s wedding.

“Hi Laura,” you answered.

“Y/N?” She asked, voice broken and sounding almost hysterical.

“Laura? What’s wrong?” you asked, trying to make out what she was sobbing through the phone.

“It’s Josh,” she cried, and your heart instantly dropped down to the pit of your stomach.

“Mom—,” you heard either Ashley or Abigail say before there was shuffling on the other line.

“Hello?” you asked, becoming frantic.

“Y/N,” Ashley’s voice came through the phone, you could tell she’d been crying too, but she was more put together than her mother.

“Ashley, what the hell’s going on?  You guys are scaring the shit out of me. What about Josh?” you asked.

“They won’t tell us much over the phone. He was in an accident, and they called mom. They said he’s in a bad state, but they won’t say much else until we get there. Dad’s driving us to the airport, but it’ll be a while before we get a flight. Mom told them your name so they’ll release information to you when you get there. They took him to The Southside Kindred Hospital, but you’ve got to get there so you can figure out what’s going on. We’re all a bit in hysterics,” she said, voice rough with tears.

“Oh my god—,” you said, running around the house trying to collect your shoes and a jacket, before grabbing your wallet and keys. “Is he okay, Ash?” you asked on your way out the door.  You hurried into your car before speeding down the street.

“We don’t even know,” Ashley sounded frustrated. “Just call us when you get there and they’ve told you what’s going on. Get there quickly, please.  But drive safe because Josh being in the hospital is enough.”

“Of course, Ashley. I’ll call you as soon as I know what’s going on. Love you guys,” you said, knuckles whitening as you clutched the steering wheel.

Your mind was in a thousand different places at once the entire drive to the hospital, but when  you got there, you parked quickly before practically sprinting inside the emergency room and over to the receptionist seated behind a desk.  

“Can I help you?” She asks.

You look around frantically, “My name’s Y/F/N,” you blurt out. “Josh Dun— was brought here.. or I mean I got a phone call from his mom and sister saying he’d been in a car accident and he was here or that he’d be here.”

“What’s your relation to him?” She asked, typing away on the computer.

“He’s my boyfriend,” you say.

“Right, okay.  He hasn’t arrived yet” she says, looking up at you from her screen.  The ambulance estimated arrival time to be 11:20, so it should be any minute now.  If you’d like to have a seat—“ she motions towards the waiting room, mostly emptied tonight.  

You paced around the room instead, looking out the window, just to give yourself something to do, until you heard the bustling sound of the emergency room doors being shoved open.  

“We need IV fluids stat—“

“I need to get this leg stabilized—“

“Not until we take care of that laceration!”

It’s almost like the whole thing happens in slow motion, because you’re able to pay attention to every single detail being flown through the doors.  There’s three EMT’s, all dressed in dark pants and a blue collar shirt.  Then there’s someone dressed in scrubs with a wind-breaker looking poncho on.  They’re all looking rather frazzled, muttering medical terms that you don’t quite understand.  And then there’s Josh.  You don’t get a perfect view of him, since everyone else is hovering over his body, but it’s enough.  He’s unconscious, his eyes closed peacefully, almost like he was sleeping.  Then you notice the blood gushing out of his temple, dripping into his eccentric yellow hair, almost making it look like the ruby color he had last summer again.  

You have to cover your mouth and bite down on the cloth of your sweatshirt to keep from screaming.  

They keep pushing him along in the stretcher.  Two nurses hold open some double doors and before you know it, he’s being pushed away, out of your sight again.  You run after them all, not wanting to be left in the dark.  Josh needed you.

“Ma’am, you can’t go in there!” A nurse says, holding you back.  You push against him, trying to slip by, but it’s no use.  You’re hysterical and much too weak, so you let yourself all but collapse into the arms of this man instead.

“Where are they taking him?!” you say, a blubbery mess.  

“Our doctors are gonna take good care of him—“ he assures you as he helps you walk back to the waiting room.  You fall into the seat, curling your knees up into your chest and wounding your arms around yourself, just trying to hold it together.

It takes thirty three minutes for a doctor to come into the waiting room to find you.  He’s got a scrub cap and gloves on, which he removes as he walks your way.

“Can I see him?” you blurt out, your eyes full of hope.

“You’re Y/N?”  he asks.  You nod back quickly.  “Not right now, Y/N. He was in a very bad accident. It’s my understanding that the police will be in here shortly to tell you of the details of that, but I’m here to tell you about his medical condition. He’s in ICU now; we’ve got him stabilized. He is in serious condition though; the next few hours are crucial. His right leg is shattered, his arm is broken, too and he has several cuts and bruises; one on the right side of his head.  It was cut by glass, he has twelve stitches right now.  That injury may or may not have caused some trauma which could then potentially lead to some temporary memory loss or amnesia. But what we’re very worried about, is the internal damage. His entire body was bruised, and there was some internal bleeding in his lungs, which is not a good sign. They’re going to prep him for surgery now, to drain the fluids.  After we open him up, we’ll know the extent of the damage,” he pauses, staring down at the scrub cap he has in his hands, before taking a deep breath, “I don’t know if you’re a religious woman, Ms. Y/L/N but if you are, I would start saying some prayers. He’s not out of the woods yet. I’m sorry that I can’t give you better news, but as I said, it was a very bad accident and it’s very serious. But I will personally keep you updated, especially after his surgery,” the man finishes, patting you on the shoulder before he walked out and softly closed the door.

You stare ahead, stunned by everything the doctor said.  It was so much worse than you thought. Josh’s life was still in danger, and the doctor was worried he might not make it. Tears spilled out of your eyes as you stood up and started walking around the room, your hands finding your hair so you could give it a little tug, hoping the pull would relieve some of the fear flooding through you.  You wiped your tears away and tried to clear your throat so that you didn’t sound like the complete wreck that you felt like as you began dialing Ashley’s number.

“Y/N?” She answered right away. “How is he? Have you seen him yet?”

“I saw him coming in—” you said, the tears began stinging your eyes again.  “But not since they took him back.”

“What did the doctor say?” she asked.

“It’s bad Ashley. His leg and arm are broken and he’s got a cut on the side of his head but he’s in ICU and they’re prepping him for surgery because it’s really bad, like internally I guess. There’s blood in his lungs and they said he was stabilized but they don’t know what’s going on inside of his body,” you said, giving up on holding the tears back. “The doctor said we might want to start praying and it’s just really bad and I can’t fucking breathe in this waiting room they put me in. I can’t see him Ashley. I can’t go see him and he’s not okay.”

“Y/N, fuck, please breathe,” she says. Her voice was thick with emotion but it didn’t sound like she was crying. “He’s at one of the best hospitals in the state. They’re going to do everything they can. I’m sorry you’re there alone but we’re catching a flight out soon and we’ll be there in a few hours.  I called Tyler and Jenna, they’re coming too.”

“Okay,” you say, forcing yourself to breathe properly. “Call me when you guys get in.”

“Good. Just stay there.  Josh needs you to be strong. We’ll be there soon,” She promised.

“Get here safe,” you say, “Love you guys.”

“We love you,” Ashley says before hanging up.  

You scroll through your phone, wondering if you should call anyone.  You desperately wanted someone to be here with you, but everyone you considered calling either already knew, or was all the way back in Ohio.  You locked your phone and stuffed it back in your pocket, rendering the whole thing pointless.  

It takes Josh’s family over five hours to get to you.  In that time, you’ve been visited by the doctor twice, telling you that Josh was still in surgery, but that he was stable and they were doing the best they could.  You’d also been to the bathroom twice to throw up, and bitten your nails down to the skin.  

Tyler and Jenna arrive first.  They run through the double doors, hand-in-hand, both with exhausted, but concerned looking faces.  

“Oh my god—“ Jenna says when she sees you.  They both rush over, engulfing you in a hug.  You cling to them, crying into one of their shoulders.  

“We got here first.  There was a flight leaving that had two empty seats.  We told Laura to go, but she refused to leave Ash, Jordan, or Abigail.  What the hell happened?” Tyler says.  

“Fuck if I know! He was in a car accident and they said the police would come in and tell me about that, which they haven’t. I swear to God if he drove while he was drunk I’m gonna-”

“Y/N,” Tyler cuts you off. “Calm down. Breathe.”

You stopped talking and focused on Jenna rubbing your back as you counted your breaths.

“This isn’t real..” you say, as you lean your head on Jenna’s shoulder. “Tell me he’s going to be okay, Ty.”

Tyler sighs, “Josh’s been a fighter since the day both of us have met him. He’s always fought for what he’s cared about.  Music.  The band.  You.  He’s not about to give up that easily. He’s gonna fight through this.”

You let out a broken sob as you used the sleeves of your shirt to wipe tears away. Then you all sat there in silence for a while after that.  

Only a couple of minutes passed when two policemen walked in, looking around the room sadly. “Which one of you is Y/F/N?” One of them asked, looking at you like he already knew.

“Me,” you croaked out, sitting upright on the seat.

“We’re just here to tell you about the accident,” The other said.

“Okay,” you nodded.

“A few witnesses all gave the same story. But uh Mr. Dun was driving when a car suddenly swerved across the center line and hit him head on. The airbags deployed and the cars were spinning until Mr. Dun’s car hit the barrier. The driver of the other car was intoxicated above legal limit, and died at the scene. Mr. Dun was stuck in his car, which was pressed against the barrier, so it took a while for paramedics to get him out. He was unconscious when they arrived, witnesses said he was unconscious when they ran over there.” The first policeman said. “We’ve just printed off the pictures of the cars and the damage. These copies are yours.”

You reached out and took the papers, waiting until the police left before he looked at them. “Oh my god,” you gasped as you almost fell back on to the couch. Tyler helped you sit down before they looked at the pictures. Josh’s car was completely demolished. It looked like a pile of black and gray scrap metal. And you weren’t particularly religious, but you said another silent prayer thanking whatever higher power that Josh even made it out alive, while simultaneously begging for him to make it through the night.

You looked at the clock again, and was about to make some comment under your breath about how long this surgery was taking before the door opened and the same doctor walked in again. You stood up immediately, walking to the doctor. “Well?”

He looked around at the new faces in the room before continuing, “The impact of the collision physically caused a broken rib to puncture a lung. We are in the process of emptying his lungs of any fluid that’s making it hard to breathe. He’s still stable, though, which is good. He can’t breathe on his own, so he’s got a breathing tube. Tonight is going to be a big one, and the next few days will decide a lot, but we’re hopeful. His body is going through a lot, trying to heal itself. It’s up to him now and he has to fight to get better.”

“So that’s all you can do?” You asked, not sure if you should be relieved or not.

“For now. We’ll keep doing what we can for him.”

Dr. Wells nodded. “We put him in a medically induced coma, the body heals best that way, and it lets him sleep through the worst of the pain. As of now, we plan to have him in the coma for a week, but we will keep you updated. You should be able to go in and visit him soon.”

“Okay,” you nodded, not sure of what else to do or ask.

“I’ll come get you when you can visit him,” he promised.

You thanked the doctor before going back and sitting down, pulling out your phone to call Ashley.  You were just ready to ring her again, when her name popped up on your phone, “Just getting ready to call you,” you answered.

“We’re heading over now,” she said. “Is he okay?”

“He’s stable,” you said.

“Okay,” Ashley said, “See you in a few.”

You nearly dropped your phone when Laura and Ashley walk through the doors.  You sprint over and wrap your arms around the both of them, letting them hold you tight.  The rest of Josh’s family filter in behind them, all with tear stained faces and tired eyes.

“What’s going on?” Laura said, wiping her eyes.

Just then, the doctor reemerges.  “Ah, family I presume?”

“I’m his mother,” Laura says, outstretching her arm.  “How is he?”

“We’ve set his broken bones and put casts on, and we’re monitoring him carefully. He’s been stabilized, but you can go see him now,” Dr. Wells said. “Not all of you at once though, please. Just three of you for now.”

Laura nodded. “Y/N and Ash, come with me for now.”

“Laura,” you say, shaking your head, looking at Josh’s dad.

“Go ahead, son,” he says. “I’ll be in to see him soon.”

You nodded, following the doctor, “I just want to warn you, he’s pretty beat up,” he says before he opened the door to Josh’s room, letting the three of you in before he left. You stood frozen at the foot of the bed. Josh looked more than beaten and bruised; he was hooked up to machines and he had an IV running into his arm. The right side of his head was shaved down to the skin where there was a nasty looking cut just above his ear that stretched around the side of his head.

You heard Ashley and Laura whispering quietly to Josh, but you couldn’t make out what they were saying. You felt like you weren’t really here, almost like you were just watching a tragic movie play out, but you were brought back to reality when you forced yourself to understand that this was Josh lying in the hospital bed, fighting for his life right now.

Laura walked over and kissed your forehead. “We’ll give you a minute, then send the others in,” she said.

You nodded as they walked out the door and immediately you went to sit in the chair at Josh’s side. “Hi, love,” you said, voice thick with emotion as you entwined your fingers with Josh’s. “Wow, I hate seeing you like this.” you thought about what you wanted to say, although you were pretty sure Josh couldn’t hear you anyway. “You’ve got me so worried, baby. Your mum and dad, Ashley and Abigail, Jordan, Tyler and Jenna.  They’re all here, everyone’s so worried about you, babe. We love you so much. I love you so much, Josh, you’ve got to get better, okay? I want you to fight harder than you ever have before,” you said, looking down to where your tears were falling on Josh’s bed. “You’ve got to get better and pull through, okay? For me. I need you.”

You sat there for another minute, letting yourself cry and hold Josh’s hand. Y

When you walked back to the room, you sent the others in before sitting, curled up on a seta, not looking at anyone else. You sat there for a while with your head on your knees, thinking about Josh and how much you loved him, and how completely fucked your life would be if Josh wasn’t in it anymore.

You only look up after feeling someone’s soft touch on your shoulder.  “Why don’t you head home, love?” It’s Laura. “You need rest.”

You immediately shake your head.  “I’m going to sleep shitty no matter where I am, I might as well be here.”

Laura nods before sighing.  “We rented a hotel nearby,” she says, looking reluctant to leave.  “We’ll be back in a few hours,” she says.

Once they’re gone and Tyler and Jenna emerge from Josh’s room, you head back in, taking the chair near his bed.  “I love you. I love you so much,” you sighed, letting the steady beeping of Josh’s heart monitor lull you to sleep.

When you wake up, it was to a sore neck, the fast beeping of the heart monitor and the door to Josh’s room being thrown open quickly. “You need to leave,” A nurse says as she practically pulled you from the chair and a flood of doctors ran in.

“No, what’s going on,” you asked, suddenly very alert as you saw electric shock paddles.

“You need to go,” The nurse says.

You heard the fast beeping of the heart monitor suddenly turn to a long, steady, beep. “No!” you scream.  “Josh, no!” You push past his nurse before another pulled on your arms. “Don’t you fucking leave!” you yelled. “Josh please, wake up!” The nurses dragged you out just as the doctor ripped Josh’s dressing gown open and placed the paddles on his chest.

You were hyperventilating as you felt strong, somewhat familiar arms around you instead of the nurses. “Y/N,” You heard Tyler say.

“Ty, no,” You cried. “He can’t.”

“No, no, no no no no, fuck no,” you sobbed, collapsing into Tyler’s arms further, “I can’t breathe. He has to be okay!”

All you could think about was Josh, and no, Josh couldn’t be gone.  You clutched yourself around the middle, trying to put some sort of pressure on your body to hold it together.  But it was too hard, so you let Tyler hold you instead while you sobbed into the fabric of his sweatshirt.

It wasn’t until a nurse walked in that you could breathe again.  

“We got him back,” she says, sighing a breath of relief.  

You gasped as you felt air fill your lungs for what felt like the first time in hours. “He’s okay?”

“He’s stable again,” she says.

“Can I see him?”

“You need rest—“ Tyler interjected.  

“I need to see him!” you argue.  “I need to call Laura—“

“What and wake her up too?  You all need rest.”

You finally gave in and rested your head in Jenna’s lap as Tyler threw a blanket over you. You listened to the quiet noise of the TV playing and fell asleep again to Jenna running her fingers through your hair.

The next time you wake up, it was more peaceful. Jenna was whispering to Tyler about something you couldn’t bring yourself to care about. You stretched and sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you looked around. Jordan and Ashley were sitting in one of the chairs on their phones. Abigail was sitting next to her dad on the couch and Laura was by the water cooler.  

The doctor walks through the double doors just then, causing you to become more alert.  “Josh’s been improving significantly since he flat lined this morning. He’ll still be in the induced coma for the next few days, but if he keeps improving at this rate, he should be awake after that. You’re more than welcome to still come visit him, as long as you listen to the nurses,” he said giving you a look. “I will keep you updated, but just know he’ll still be out for a few days.”

They all nodded and thanked the doctor.

The next few days passed faster than you would’ve thought. Josh was slowly but steadily healing, and the doctor finally tells them that he thinks Josh would make a full recovery. You nearly melted with relief. You couldn’t help the nagging in your head that said even if he physically recovered, he still might have head trauma and memory loss.

Josh was starting to look better, much to your relief. His smaller cuts were healing, and the color was starting to come back to his face.

One week after his accident, you, Laura and Jordan were in Josh’s room as the doctor took out the breathing tube, and you all let out a sigh of relief when Josh started breathing on his own.

“We’ve stopped the medicine that’s keeping him in a coma,” the nurse says. “It could take anywhere for a few hours to a few days for him to completely wake up though. This is all up to him now. When his body is ready to wake up, it will. I know this is a hard time to be patient, but I don’t want you to get discouraged if he doesn’t wake up today, okay?”

All three of them nodded.

“Alright, Josh,” Jordan says. “You’ve kept us here for the longest week of our lives. Time to wake up now, bro.”

Josh didn’t wake up the first day, like you’d hoped he would.

You tried not to worry when Josh didn’t wake up the second day either.

By the time it got to the forth day they’d taken Josh off the medicine, you began panicking. “You can’t do anything?” You asked the doctor for what had to have been the thousandth time.

“He’s still recovering and his body is exhausted,” he says, “Give him time.”

You started losing track of the days and time, seeing as you didn’t leave the hospital for two weeks. When you woke up one day, you blinked and looked around to see that the sun had set, but it was still fairly light outside. The room was quiet, except for Josh’s heart monitor. You looked to the clock to see that you’d only been asleep for a couple of hours, but it was still early evening. You rubbed your eyes before you felt the same thing that woke you up in the first place: a slight pressure on your hand that was laced with Josh’s.

“Josh?” you asked, jumping up and sitting on the edge of the bed running your free hand through Josh’s messy hair. “Love, can you hear me?” you tried not to get too excited, but you knew that you hadn’t imagined Josh squeezing it. “Babe, if you can hear me, can you please try to squeeze my hand again?”

You waited and felt the slightest pressure on your hand again. Your eyes filled with tears of relief. You reached up to press the red button to call a nurse in, before you turned your attention back to Josh. “Are you waking up, love?” you asked. Josh squeezed your hand again. “Josh,” you sighed, cupping the side of his face. “Can you find your voice, baby?”

Josh sighed and you saw movement underneath his eyelids, but he kept his them shut as he squeezed your hand again, but for longer. “That’s okay,” you said quietly, afraid of being too loud. The nurse walked in, eyes wide as she looked at Josh and you. “He’s waking up,” you smiled.

She grinned at him. “I’ll go get Dr. Cochran.”

“Do you know who I am, love?” you asked, the question burning in his head. “It’s me, it’s Y/N.”

Josh squeezed your hand again and he made a small noise in the back of his throat that you thought sounded almost offended. You loved that it sounded crazy for Josh not to know who you were.

“He’s waking up?” Dr. Cochran asked.

“Yeah,” you smiled.

“Wonderful. I need you to step back for a few minutes,” Dr. Cochran says.

You hesitate and Josh squeezes your hand tighter than he had yet, but you pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Not going anywhere far. I’m right here.”

“She hasn’t left your side yet, Josh,” Dr. Cochran says. “Don’t think I could get her to leave now.”

Dr. Cochran and the nurse continued asking Josh questions, progressing to see if Josh could feel his feet, arms, legs, chest, hips. Yes, yes, yes. He could feel it all. “We’re going to turn all of the lights off, except for the lamp in the corner, okay Josh? It’s not too bright in here, it wont hurt your eyes. I know your eyelids feel heavy now, and I know you’re exhausted, but can you please try to open your eyes?”

You watched, with his heart pounding heavily as Josh’s eyes fluttered, but his eyelids stayed closed.

“I need you to try a little harder for me, Josh,” Dr. Wells said.

Josh let out a quiet, yet disgruntled sigh as his eyes moved rapidly under his lids. Dr. Cochran looked at you, then looked pointedly at Josh, nodding his head once.

You nodded before going and sitting on the bed next to Josh.  You took his hand in yours again,  “Hey love, it’s me,” you said quietly. “Been waiting here for an awful long time to see you awake again. I miss you. I miss your eyes.  Can you open up for me? Just for a bit, then you can go back to sleep.”

Josh’s eyes fluttered again, then finally opened and you let out the biggest sigh of relief. Josh let out a soft grunt, then let his eyes close again, blinking them slowly before he opened them again.

“I’m right here, baby,” you said softly, waiting for Josh’s glazed eyes to focus on you.

“You’ve been on a breathing tube, which is why your throat is sore.  Don’t try to talk yet if it hurts too much. I’m very glad to see you awake, Josh. A lot of people will be glad. You can sleep now, we’ll do some more tests when you wake up again.”

Dr. Cochran and the nurse left, and Josh’s eyes started drooping immediately. “Your family are here, Josh, I’m sorry they’re not in here right now. They’ll be in here when you wake up again.”

Josh squeezed your hand tightly as his eyes closed and his breathing evened out.

“I’ll be here too, promise.”

The next time Josh woke up was the next morning; Laura was by his side while you sat on the windowsill. The doctor ran some more tests and Josh cleared his throat once before he decided he needed to sleep again.

Josh didn’t wake up again until the next night. You were sitting next to Josh when he stretched out his fingers and you looked up to see Josh looking at you with a small smile on his face. You took his hand immediately and smiled.

“Hi,” you smiled.

Josh cleared his throat and looked over to the small side table.

“Water?” you asked.

He nodded.

“Don’t talk if it hurts too much,” you warned.

Josh shook his head. “Throat feels a little better,” he says. His voice was rough and scratchy, so quiet that you had to strain yourself to listen carefully, but Josh was talking.

You sighed in relief. “Good. You still look out of it.”

“How?” Josh asked.

You smiled. “You just look exhausted.”

“I’m so tired,” he sighed.

You kissed his forehead, “Go back to sleep, baby. I love you so much. Gonna be right here when you wake up.”

“Love you,” Josh sighed before he fell asleep again.

It took three more days for Josh to be awake longer than fifteen minutes, and for his eyes to clear up. By that point, the anesthesia had completely worn off, and Josh was looking much better.

Everyone visited constantly throughout the day.  Tyler and Jenna were in and out and Josh’s entire family had been staying in the nearby hotel for weeks now.  When everyone all finally left at the end of the day, Josh made space on the bed for you to lay with him.

“You scared the shit out of me, you know?” you whispered.

“Will you tell me everything, now?” he asked.  No one had told Josh what had happened, more focused on getting him better, since he was mostly out of it anyway and he wouldn’t remember. But now he was alert, and you forced yourself to open up.

“Car accident. Drunk driver hit you head on and it was bad. The car is completely wrecked, sorry about that,” you sighed. “What was the last thing you remember?”

“I was at the club. We were having a good time, but I really didn’t feel like drinking. I stayed with everyone for a bit, then I wanted to get home to you,” he said. “Hey Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“What happened to the other driver?”

You closed your eyes. “He didn’t make it.”

Josh tensed and squeezed your fingers tightly. “They died?”

“Yeah, baby. I’m sorry.,” you whispered.

“I almost died too?”

“You did for minute,” you said squeezing your eyes shut again, you let yourself inhale the smell of him before continuing. “I was right here, beside you, and you started flatlining.  They had to drag me out and do the whole paddle-thing.  I thought I was going to lose you.  It was the worst minute of my entire fucking life,” you whispered.

Josh squeezed your hand tightly, but you kept your eyes closed, ignoring the tears filling up as you thought about the seconds you thought you’d lost Josh.

“It was that bad?”

“They didn’t think you were gonna make it through the night. I’ve never been so scared in my life,”  you said.

“Babe,” Josh whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault. I’m just scared to leave you alone right now. Don’t wanna let you go,” you sighed.

“I don’t really want you to leave. But promise me something?” he asked.

“Anything.”

“After I fall asleep again, go home. Shower, eat some food, and try to sleep. I love you so much and I’m so grateful to you for being here but you haven’t left the hospital in what?  Three weeks? Ash and my mom will be back soon,  Ty’s here. I’ll be fine. You look like hell, love, and I’m a little worried,” Josh said.

You sighed. “I’ll shower and eat, but I’m not sleeping in the bed without you. I’m staying here until you can come home with me.”

Josh rolls his eyes but nods. “Fine. Thanks for being here. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” you sighed.

Justice League, Meet The Avengers

Batsy has created a chatroom.

Batsy has added Alfredo Pasta.

Batsy: Alfred.

Alfredo Pasta: Yes, Master Bruce?

Batsy: Was it Barry or Oliver this time?

Alfredo Pasta: It was the young speedster, Master Bruce.

Batsy has added Bear.

Batsy: Stop. Changing. Our. Names.

Bear: Alfredo Pasta, you snitched on me?

Alfredo Pasta: No regrets, son.

Alfredo Pasta: Was there something you needed, Master Bruce?

Batsy: I want to know the current status of the rest of the league.

Alfredo Pasta: Inviting them over for dinner? I shall prepare the table.

Batsy: No - a meeting that involves food, Alfred!

Bear: Ooooh are we having Lobster Thermidor? Arthur won’t like that.

Bear: I’ll be back in a… Flash. Gotta take care of my good pal Captain Cold.

Bear has left the chat.

Alfredo Pasta: It seems all members of the JLA are currently preoccupied.

Batsy: Even Clark? What could Arthur be doing? And Diana?

Alfredo Pasta: Saving the world, of course.

Alfredo Pasta: Except for Arthur. He’s at an aquarium.

Batsy: Are there any criminals out?

Alfredo Pasta: I’m afraid not, Master Bruce. Master Dick has done an exceptional job of keeping them at bay.

Batsy:

Batsy: What’s the Joker up to?

Alfredo Pasta: He’s in hiding after your last debacle with him.

Keep reading

Anchor

MASTERLIST

A/N: Been working on this for a while, actually convinced myself not to post it, so I might delete it again, haha. Feedback is always lovely.

Word count: 3,614

Anchor (sexual + trigger warning)

His hands were running down your body, rubbing your tights with his long fingers, leaving your skin burning behind as he always accomplished to do.

Shawn’s tongue slipped out of your mouth and he bit your lip roughly instead, knowing you liked when he did that. It let a small whimper escape your trembling lips.

Keep reading

Something There

Overview: Four years have passed since the war and you and Draco are now soon to be married. But as his insecurities catch up to him, he begins to wonder why someone like you would ever want to be with a former Death Eater like him. For who could ever learn to love a beast?

Word Count: About 1,400.

Warning(s): Some fluffy fluff.

Note: Draco x Reader Beauty and the Beast retelling loosely based off of “Something There” (see below).


Draco watched as you twirled around the kitchen of the Malfoy Manor, a sterling silver spoon in hand. In a cozy robe and pajamas, he thought you were quite a sight. His favorite sight in the world, nevertheless.

“One more week,” you sang. “That’s seven more days until we’re married.” After placing your dishes in the sink, you sat down at the dining table next to Draco. “Can you imagine?”

“Seeing as we already live together,” said he, gesturing to the vast interior of the manor, “I quite easily can.”

You nudged him with your elbow. “It’s still not the same. Soon, we’ll be Mr. and Mrs. Draco Malfoy.” You paused. “Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

Although he replied with a nod, Draco couldn’t help but frown at the sound of his last name. What was once a word he flaunted about and held to the highest esteem had turned into a scarlet letter after the Second Wizarding War.

He furrowed his eyebrows, dragging his spoon along the rim of his bowl. Soon, you would bear the name Malfoy. Malfoy. A name tarnished and sent to Azkaban and back as nothing more than a patch on his parents’ clothing.

And the more he thought about it, the more Draco realized that wasn’t a burden he wanted to share with you.
__________

A day passed and Draco still had an unsettling feeling in his stomach. It wasn’t uncommon for him to wear long-sleeved shirts, but now he could hardly bare glancing at his Dark Mark.

Is this what being a Malfoy meant?

“Draco,” you said, climbing into the bed as you stared at his back, “what’s the matter?”

He tucked his hand under a pillow. “Nothing, love. Just tired, is all.”

“I don’t believe you.” He felt the mattress shift ever so slightly as you drew nearer to him. “Before all else, Draco, I am your friend. Before being your fiancée, your girlfriend, your anything– I’m still just your best friend.” You peered over at him, his eyes focused on the wall. “So why on earth would you expect me to believe that lie?”

Sighing, Draco turned on his other side to face you, propping himself up on his arm. He noticed the way you scrunched your nose in concern, a wrinkle appearing between your eyebrows.

“Please, tell me what’s wrong, babe,” you pleaded. Your face softened as you examined his tired eyes, bringing your hand to brush against the cold skin of his face. “Is it the wedding? Are we going into this too soon?”

“No, of course not. It’s not–” He took a deep breath, unsure of what he wanted to say. Draco captured your hand in his, pulling it near his chest. He stroked the calloused pad of his thumb against your knuckles absentmindedly. “If I had to describe you in one word, it would be perfection.”

You quirked an eyebrow, unsure of how to react. “I’m no where near perfect, but– Don’t try to change the subject.”

He let out an indignant chuckle. “I wasn’t finished. I only meant…Just look at yourself and then look at me.”

“I see a witch and a wizard.”

“Funny,” said Draco with a straight face. “But really look. Because when I look at you, I see a compassionate, intelligent woman who fights for what’s right.” His eyes darted to his clothed forearm, the black mark almost visible through his white night shirt. “When I look at myself, I see is a monster. A beast. A coward, at best.”

You stayed silent, Draco’s hand still in yours. “I think your perception is tainted,” you said, withdrawing your hand from his to gently push back at his sleeve. He caught sight of a sliver of his Dark Mark, causing him to wince. Draco saw you reaching for a black marker next to your journal on the nightstand.

You uncapped it, taking hold of his hand.

“What are you–”

You silenced him with a brief kiss on the lips. You sat up and moved his arm onto your lap. “When I see you, Draco, I see someone who shouldn’t be defined by their mistakes.”

Keep reading

ignite-my-love  asked:

Hey hun! If you have time and/or want too I would love to see your rowaelin NSFW headcanons please and thank you 😉😏

Hahah it took long enough for this to land in my ask!! I have been waiting!! FINALLY I AM ALIVE AGAIN

I love them so much and I feel like I know them better than feysand, so I have SO much pressure not to screw this up. rip

-After tog 6 I want Rowan to get a new tattoo. He can keep the one for Lyria, but I want him to tattoo the story of Aelin and him, how they are mates, how they won the war together… I then want him to fix Aelins tattoo and she want him to add them being mates to it and the love they found in each other.
Then I want Rowan to teach Aelin the ancient language.

-Aelin curls up against Rowan holding a book on her lap half asleep

-I love to imagine that Rowan is the one to save Aelin with the squadre’s help and Fenry’s help because I think Aelin has saved herself enough and I really want her to learn that more people care about her, and that she’s not along.  When Rowan finds her, shes bloody and exhausted and Rowan just slides down on his knees next to her and is like, “It’s okay, Aelin.  I’m here, Fireheart.” and he brushes away her tears pushes her hair back and lets her hold onto him.  He gets them out of the immediately and when they get back to their safe spot the hug for like 30 minutes without letting go of one another.  Everyone leaves them to it.  They start off sanding, but then Aelin’s knees give out and her brings them to sit and hug each other and thats not close enough so her buries his face in her neck and holds onto her head and they both cry a little and he pulls her into his lap.

-they can never agree on the shower temperature. He likes it colder, aelin likes it warmer, Rowan is always saying that Aelin is burning his skin off.

-sometimes Rowan sneaks up behind Aelin and kisses her and she’s so surprised and happy that something near or behind her get set on fire because yah know😏😏 sparks fly between the two of them 

-Rowan’s signature move is the hand on thigh. VERY high on her thigh

-Aelin is just a territorial as Rowan. One time they were training together and one of the servants at Orynth was eyeing Rowan and Aelin was growling and then goes over and grabs Aelin by his collar and wraps her hands around his neck and pulls him to her and she hardcore makes out with him right there in front of everyone at the palace

-Rowan is definitely a pda guy…. boyyyy those two have no shame.. sex everywhere. beach? done.  against the wall? done.  In their war room? done. Aedion walked in on them once (to be fair they were in a public place) AND HE IS TRAUMATIZED HE CANT LOOK AT EITHER OF THEM FOR 4 MONTHS

-We know from eos that they both love biting each other, but continued with that, Rowan actually melts when Aelin kisses up his neck, its so sensitive and his favorite place to be kissed.

-they both love subtly teasing each other in public while the other one is just FULL of unreleased sexual tension.  It makes for wonderful nights…

-They are both pretty loud actually, Aedion has to move out of the castle because he really just can’t handle it. 

-Fleetfoot sleeps in the bed with them and sits on Rowan whenever possible. 

-Once Rowan gets Aelin back, they find out (because one night Rowan comes to bed later than normal and Aelin is awake waiting for him)  they find out that they actually cannot fall asleep without the other there with them

-Aelin’s ears are like Rowan’s favorite thing??? She loves to kiss that gorgeously muscled neck and he loves her elegantly pointed ears.  When they have a makeout sesh he pulls on her ear lobe with his teeth and kisses underneath and blows cool air on the spot his mouth was on, and her back arches into him and she moans and he pulls her closer.

-lazy days would consist of long naps, not always tangled together just enjoying that the other is getting some needed sleep, bubble baths, Rowan resting his head on her lap while she’d reading a book, her absent minded-ly playing with his short hair

-Rowan loves Aelin’s legs.  They are so long and sexy and he really just can’t control himself.  He loves laying in bed reading and just touching her by wrapping a hand around her thigh, or running his hands up and down her legs.  Aelin likes it because it seems so territorial and as much as she ‘complains’ she really loves when he’s territorial.

-Rowan loves to bury his head between those thighs….

-Rowan and Aelin spar and they both go at it hard, never taking it easy on the other… this leads to very tired and very sweaty, angry sex!

-Rowan loves when things are getting hot an heavy and she’s kissing him and then she bites his lip and then kisses down his chest, making sure to kiss the scar where Asterin’s arrow pierced because that’s when she realized they were mates and its really important to her.

-Sometimes when they have sex it turns into a power play.  What I mean is, it starts off with Rowan on top and then he’s teasing her and she just gets so fed up that she growls and flips them over and rides him.  Rowan secretly loves when she takes charge so he never stops her, besides she’s Aelin she has to be the star of the show.

-Biters!! both of them!! When Rowan is about to come, his face is already buried in Aelins neck and he can’t help but bite down on her skin as the world splits apart around him.  Him biting her neck turns her on so much that she finishes there too, with him.

-They can go at it hard but somehow its still really loving and gentle? idk how they do it but Aelin just caresses Rowans cheek and runs her fingers down his tattoo and he softly kisses her collarbone and shoulder and whatever part of her outstretched arm his mouth can reach(inner forearm, fingers or hand) a silent “I love you.” for them both.

-When Aelin does something cute or is worried about something Rowan just holds her cheeks and kisses her forehead and wraps her in a hug and rests his chin on her hair.

-When they use the carranam bond, they hold hands in between both of their chests and Rowan uses his other hand to wrap around her back and then they both just touch foreheads as she cups his cheek. (someone draw this for me please, i beg you)

-Obviously silent conversation.  due to this there is a lot of unresolved sexual tension.  Aelin just throws Rowan a glance that look like she will eat him alive.  She proves this to him when she gets on her knees later and makes him an un-controllable mess in front of her (extra: his hands fisted in her hair)

-Aelin is not a morning person but Rowan makes it better when he wakes her up with gentle morning kisses.

-He kisses the dip beneath her ear, her jaw, her cheek, her nose (she wakes up then and scrunches her face and he laughs because she’s just so fucking cute in the morning) he kisses her forehead and then lips.  The dip between her collarbones, her shoulder. Literally my boy has no self control and kisses whatever kiss is exposed.

-Rowan is KING OF HICKEYS, but then again so is Aelin.  Hickeys from their bites, hickies on the inside of her thighs, hickies on her breasts. It’s SOOO HARD for the cadre to ignore.

-Rowan has a pretty impressive wingspan ;)

-Sometimes Aelin shaves Rowan… bc domestic fluff is something they excel at

-Hand holding all the time, Rowan as no problems holding her hands at all times because it reassures her, and as cocky as she is, she likes to know that he is there too.  He does that thumb brush thing and it calms her down instantly

-When Aelin has nightmares and wakes up thrashing in bed, Rowan jolts up and wraps his arm around her so that she can’t hurt herself and pulls her close and kisses her spine and back and rests his cheek against her burning hot back while she calms down. 

-They sit up in bed and she buries her face in his chest and sobs because she missed him so much while she was away and she’s so glad they are both okay, he rubs little circles on her forearms and hums a little song becasue he knows that music calms her down

-When Rowan has nightmares the are desperate.  He wakes up so terrified. It takes him like an hour before he can lay back down.  He see horrible nightmares of what Maeve used to make him do to prisoners and imagines Aelin as that person instead.  He touches his forehead to hers and she holds his cheeks and he runs his hands down her arms, her stomach, her breasts, her back, her legs just trying to make sure that she is OKAY and that she not hurt of bleeding or something.

-clothes.  Aelin pretty much shares Rowan’s closet becasue she wears his clothes so much.  Literally everything.  Jackest: done, (whenever they are on the battle field or traveling she always has his scarf and one of his jackets on)  When they are home she literally only sleeps in 3 times… naked, his favorite shirts, or when she wants to scandalize him; one of her nightgowns.

-Rowan loves seeing her stumble around their house in the morning with his boxers on and his favorite shirt because she looks so cute and sexy at the same time and he gets so much male satisfaction and pride when she wears his things.  Also her legs looks hella good in his shirts

-Aelin still loves washing his hair and when they take baths together he just leans back and lets her do it and she is like, crazy gooddddd at massaging his head at the same time. (have you ever gone to the hairdressers and they massage your head while washing it at the same time? its HEAVEN)

-Rowan also loves when she just lounges around the house and their bed in her underwear because he loves her body and shes just so relaxed

-Because she loves everything elaborate they are always really stunning lace pieces (she has them in assassin and the desert, so this is hardcore canon)

-He keeps that dragon dress because he loves it so much

-When Aelin cries he gets so upset because he doesn’t like seeing her hurt.

-As much as he doesn’t like chocolates, he finds them and gifts them to her on her birthday along with a chocolate cake he makes (he’s actually a really good baker)

-Aelin loves kissing Rowan’s chest, she does it when he’s sad and whenever he’s standing shirtless in their kitchen

-Rowan sleeps with boxers on or pajama bottoms only, NEVER a shirt.

-Rowan is like a furnace when he sleeps and Aelin doesn’t understand how? becasue she has the fire magic and he has wind so you would think that means he would be cooler.  Nope

-LOTS AND LOTS OF BLANKETS. they love to be cozy

-Aelin loves just laying on top of Rowan sometimes and playing with his hair and resting her head on his chest.

-She is usually the little spoon but sometimes they break apart during the night and she wraps her arms around Rowan and kisses his back.

That’s all I have unfortunately. I wish I cold keep writing more.  If you have any ideas reblog them with this, or send them to me and I’ll try to write another one.

I hope this met your expectations, reblog and let me know what you think please!

I love them and they don’t get enough credit!!

-Helena

xxxx

More Headcanons

I headcanon Lance as bi. I also sort of self project the way I grew up and how my family is/was on him too…? Anyways, more langst

-Lance never thought it was weird that he was attracted to both genders until he was 11
-He first told his mom and she told him it was just a phase
-His older siblings laughed and teased him for it, calling him many slurs
-Slowly he grew to hate himself for being attracted to men and started to become more and more homophobic
- When he was 13, he met a boy in the summer who was gay
-He dated said boy in secret while denying who he was all the while
-His younger sister caught him with the boy and told their parents
-Lance never thought he’d ever see his mom so disgusted with him
-At the same time, he never thought his Dad who seemed the least accepting, would accept him and try to help him
-Lance started to realize as he got older that no men wanted to date him because he was bi
-So he thought it’d be easier to pass as hetro, though by now he was no longer homophobic but was trying to help out in LGBT community
-Lance’s older siblings started to become more understanding of the LGBT community and was no longer homophobic
-His mom understood but didn’t except that he was bi. Instead she’d talk about how it was a phase in his life
-He knew deep down that she’s never accept him
-Growing up, Lance was a middle child
-He never really got new clothes, being able to have hand-me-downs from his older siblings
-But his younger siblings got new clothes as by the time he was down with his, they were outdated
-He tries not to think too much about the times he’d get locked out after walking around late
-It wasn’t their fault, they just didn’t notice he was gone
-When his anxiety was starting to get bad, he had to hide it because his family rejected the idea that anyone could have a mental illness in their family
-He learned how to cry silently early in his life, so it was no surprise that no one knew when he was having an anxiety attack
-His self esteem issues started pretty early in his life
-His older siblings, one was a genius and the other was a troublemaker
-Whatever he did was average in his eyes and only his friends congratulated him
-It would never feel as good as it would’ve been coming from his parents
-When he’d get into trouble or hang around a “dangerous” crowd, his parents didn’t seem to care too much
-His “dangerous” crowd was pretty much just his group of friends which consisted of an addict, an alcoholic, a pot head, a kid who came from a rough home and two high school drop outs who dealt with mental illness, and the other poverty
-Some of his friends knew gang members but it wasn’t an issue because they’d never bring them around
-When Lance got an 89% on an exam, they threw him a little party on the beach by a campfire
-They’d all celebrate each other’s success and Lance started to call them family
-Lance’s siblings always forgot he was with them when they’d tell a story, or they’d replace him with a different sibling
-His own mom and dad started to do that as well
-He started to feel like he was replaceable and forgettable
-He started to fall into depression around the time he was 12, though he never realized it was depression until he was 15
-He started self harming when he 11, a little bit after he came out
-At first it was anger, he felt like he deserved to be treated like crap
-It soon turned ugly as he started to notice more and more things he wasn’t good at and traits that were displeasing
-When he was 15-16, his friends noticed the scars he carefully kept hidden and they tried so hard to help him
-Lance learned that he didn’t want their help as it felt more like pity which only fed into his self-loathing
-When Lance was 16, his friend who was an alcoholic died by drowning in his own puke
-Lance didn’t take it well and couldn’t handle it, so he repressed those memories
-He never remembered until he was in his 20’s and woke up sobbing and shaking(it wasn’t pretty, it was horrible and he could shake the imagines out of his mind for weeks)
-When Lance got accepted to the garrison, his friends threw him a party
-At the same time, he never told his family until two days before he was leaving
-They thought it was just a boarding school and didn’t realize how much he worked for it until after he left and they looked into it
-Lance tried to hold back tears after the first month he was at the garrison and he still hadn’t gotten a call from his parents or siblings
-He didn’t hold himself as he thought of his friends and the fire they had
-He didn’t think of how his parents practically jumped around when his older brother got accepted into university
-He didn’t compare himself to everyone he knew and only focus on his bad points
-He didn’t have an anxiety attack that night
-When Lance met Hunk, he felt relived because finally in his life, he met someone who didn’t know his family
-Because finally he had a friend who saw him and didn’t know of or about his family
-And when he met Pidge, he was ecstatic to meet someone who was so smart and chill
-It didn’t hurt him at all when they kept avoiding him though
-It didn’t remind him of being overshadowed when his teachers started to compare him and tell him he was there only by luck
-It didn’t hurt when he was taken as a joke by his self proclaimed rival because it reminded him of his siblings
-No, it didn’t hurt at all when he realized he really didn’t belong with the other paladins
-And it certainly didn’t hurt when his hero got mad at him for making a valid point
-Of course that didn’t make him start to doubt himself more than he already did
-No, Lance never thought of how much he hated himself or how he wasn’t good enough
-Not even about how he missed his family, when he was stuck out in space
-Or his friends, who’d usually try to cheer him up by taking him out to eat or play games all night
-Definitely not about how he wished he was a better person, never really seeing what an amazing person he was but the only what he saw of himself
-No, Lance was fine
-Right?

Don’t Say Anything (part 4)

Summary: You finally decide to tell Bucky that you’ve been in love with him since the day you met but what happens when you walk in on him with a girl? And not just any girl; Natasha.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: ye good ol’ angst

A/N: Welpsssss ‘Don’t Say Anything’ won over ‘Tainted Love’ I’m sooorrryyyyyy. Anyways, I hope ya enjoy! Will edit lateeerrrrr


Two weeks have flown by since the day at the zoo and you’ve kept your distance from both Bucky and Nat. You didn’t completely shut them out, just anytime they wanted to do something with you, you’d make up some believable excuse.

You spent most of your time in your room being a depressed fish, the other members of the team coming to check up on you every now and then. It sucked. Why must feelings exist?

“Hey kiddo,” you can hear Tony say from the other side of the door.

“Come in.” you sigh, laying on your side, wrapped up like a burrito. You feel like trash and you look like trash.

The door opens and Tony frowns. “Dinners ready. You’re eating with us. I won’t take no for an answer.”

“But-”

“I won’t take no for an answer.” he repeats.

You sigh. “Why do you hate me so much.”

“I don’t hate you, I love you which is why I’m making you come out and eat with us.” he gives you a small smile. “Come on, I’m tired of seeing you so sad. You hardly come out of your room now, what’s going on?”

He shuts the door and sits down on the floor in front of you.

“Nothing.”

“If it wasn’t nothing I wouldn’t be sitting in here with you right now, so tell me.”

“I just - I don’t want to talk about it.” you shut your eyes. “Please don’t make me talk about it.”

The last part came out as a whimper and it made Tony frown even more. He moved the blanket from your head and threaded his fingers into your hair. “I won’t make you talk about it. But just know that I’m here if you want to talk. I won’t judge you or anything.”

You hum as he scratched your head softly. “You’re such a dad.”

Tony chuckled. “A good looking dad, right?”

“You wish.” you scoffed.

Tony smiled and stood up from the floor, removing his hand from your head in the process and causing you to open your eyes. “Come on, I’ll even serve you your plate.”

“Is this a trick?” you question.

“I know, I know, I’m actually being nice for once, call the police.” he playfully rolled his eyes. You laugh and sit up, wrapping your little blanket over your head. You follow Tony into the kitchen where everyone was, talking and what not. No one had sat down at the table yet so you make your way over to a chair and sit down, clutching your blanket tighter to your body.

Bucky and Natasha were sitting on the couch only a few feet away, sitting ever so close to each other. You wanted to go back to your room. You wanted to be anywhere but here - anywhere as long as those two weren’t there. Your heart was broken enough.

“Alright you little assholes, come sit down, dinners ready!” Sam announced. Bucky and Nat look over their shoulders and when Bucky sees you he stands up, quickly making his way over to you to claim the seat beside you. You don’t look at him. You can’t. But you know he’s looking at you.

Natasha sits down in front of you and you want to melt into a puddle. How are you supposed to survive this dinner with Bucky next to you and Natasha in front of you? Does the world really hate you that much?

You watch everyone serve themselves, talking about god knows what, you’re tuning everyone out. You just want to get this over and done with so that you can go back to your room and wrap yourself up into a burrito again. Tony places a plate in front of you, telling you to eat and you sigh.

While everyone seemed to be engaged in a conversation about something, you stay quiet, eating your food. As if the gods above didn’t want it to go that way, Bucky leans in towards you.

“What’s going on, baby doll?” he says for only you to hear.

“Nothing, why?” you respond, continuing to pick at your food.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks, Y/N. Are you purposely ignoring me?”

“I’ve been busy, James.” you sigh.

“So you are ignoring.” he nods. “That’s just great.”

You roll your eyes. “Not everything is about you, Bucky.”

“It’s the guy huh? The one you like?”

He’s looking at you and god do you want to look at him too. But you can’t or else you’ll break down and you can’t break down. Not in front of everyone. Not during dinner.

Bucky scoffed. “I can’t believe you’re still sulking about this asshole, Y/N.”

“You don’t understand, Bucky.” you try to remain calm. “I’ve liked this guy for years. It’s gonna take a while till I’m over him.”

“Will you just tell me who he is? I just wanna talk to him.” he says and you shut your eyes.

“Can we just not talk about it, please?” again, you whimper. Bucky feels a bit of anger towards this guy.

“Alright, we won’t talk about it, for now.” he nods. “On another note, Nat and I have an announcement.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah so say tuned.” he then cleared his throat. “Guys, Nat and I have something to say.” and it was quiet. They all looked at Bucky, waiting for him to go on. He looks at Nat and smiles. “We wanted to tell you guys when we were all together.” Bucky licks his lips. “Nat and I are dating.”

And just like that, you lost all hope. You felt sick. You didn’t want to be there anymore. You didn’t want to be that close to Bucky or that close to Natasha. Congratulations went around as well as “finally!” and you felt even more sick.

You quickly stand up, grabbing everyone’s attention before muttering something about not feeling good. Without waiting for a response from someone, you make a beeline for your room, shutting the door and rushing into the bathroom. You hold onto the sides of the sink and breathe. In and out, in and out. You splash some water on your face and take a deep breath.

You should have just stayed in your room. Why didn’t you just stay in your room? You can’t get hurt in your room, your room loves you. Chewing on your bottom lip, you exit the bathroom, being startled by Wanda who was sitting down on your bed.

“Shit Wanda, you scared me.” you breathe out, clutching your chest. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s Bucky.” she says. Your blood runs cold.

“Wh-What?”

“The guy you like, it’s Bucky.” she spoke and your eyes swell with tears.

“How did you find out?”

Wanda stands up. “Please don’t be mad at me.” she says. “After you ran off, I knew something was wrong. I hate seeing you so sad and broken, Y/N. You’re my best friend. So I.. Listened in on your thoughts.”

“That’s an invasion of my privacy, Wanda!” your tears fall from your eyes.

“I know but I wasn’t going to sit around and watch you be sad, Y/N. You were never going to tell me any of this. I want to help because I hate seeing you sad.” she responds. Your lip quivers.

“I don’t know what to do.” you cry, eyes blurring with tears. Wanda engulfs you. “Why am I not good enough? Is there something wrong with me? Am I not attractive? I’ve been there for him since day one, Wanda. I thought he liked me, at least a little bit. But of course, he likes Nat. Everyone does. I was so stupid to think that-”

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t talk like that.” she tells you. “Don’t do this to yourself, Y/N. Don’t put yourself down. There’s someone out there who’s dying to be with you, you just have to wait it out. Don’t let this affect the rest of your life.”

You hold back a sob. “I hate feeling this way. Everything hurts.”

“I know.” she sighs, rubbing your back. “I know.”

The two of you stay like that for a bit while you calm down. It seems like all you’ve been doing is crying. You hate it. Suddenly your door opens, standing there is Bucky, a worried look etched on his face.


A/N: I know these parts are really short but just bear with me okay? Anyways, tell me what ya think.

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When You Fail To Be 2

So, yeah, part 2 (: @kaxpha enjoy ! <3 

I keep saying this, but well, I did my best and I hope I did okay with it! Please excuse any grammar mistakes and …the poor writing. 

Part 3 should be up later on the week. That’s going to be Lance and Shiro’s angst. 

Ok, i’m done rambling. 


Lance wakes up at the sound of a soft humming near him and he sighs unconsciously as he feels fingers passing through his hair in a soothing motion.

He recognizes Allura’s smell, a mix that reminds him of roses and vanilla. Lance hums contently, unconsciously leaning his head further into her touch and almost whines when her voice stops abruptly.

“Lance? Asteráki?” She calls softly and Lance limits himself to hum, pushing his head further against her lap. “Asteráki, I need you to open your eyes, please?”

Slowly, ever so slowly, Lance finally gathers enough strength to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is Allura’s worried face but a soft smile appears on her lips as soon as she sees his baby blue eyes.

“Hi, there.” She whispers, stroking his cheek tenderly and Lance’s mouth twitches upward.

“Hi.” He says hoarsely.

“How are you feeling?” She asks in low voice and pulls the blanket tighter around Lance as she watches the brunet shiver.

“…Good?” He coughs out, trying to suppress the shivers that shake his body, “I’m good.”

“Yeah, sure.” Allura says unconvinced and Lance doesn’t need to look up to know she’s rolling her eyes, “Try to not move a lot, please. I will be right back, I’m just getting you some food, okay?” Lance whines when Allura pulls his head up and places it gently on the pillow, “Sh, it’s okay. I will be right back.”

Lance faintly hears the sound of the door opening before it closes with a swoosh. Letting out a sigh, Lance turns and props himself up until he’s half sitting in his bed, panting harshly at the excessive movement.

He leans heavily against the wall, tightening his hold on the blanket around him and then closes his eyes. It shouldn’t have passed more than three minutes before he hears the door open once again.

“’Lura?” Lance rasps out and feels someone sitting on the edge of the bed.

Frowning at her silence, Lance blinks to clear out his blurred vision and his eyes widen at the figure of his boyfriend at the end of the bed.

“Keith.” Lance breaths out, his heart skipping a beat at the sight of the black haired teen, “H-Hey, you. Good t-timing, a cradling and c-cuddle session would be n-nice.”

He tries to smile playfully, but his smile quickly falls when Keith keeps his eyes down and turns his head away from Lance’s direction.

Lance’s heart stops and then he’s sucking in a sharp breath. “K-Keith?” He calls again, his voice soft and small, vulnerability dripping from it, “A-Amor?”

Keep reading

and a Long Island Iced Tea | Harry Styles One Shot


So this might be a little different to how the anon had in mind but this premise can get a bit samey sometimes so I tried to do something a little different. I dunno. Hope you like it, I x


You hadn’t slept in nearly three days. You’d managed to eat a couple of slices of toast but the unrelenting nausea made it hard to swallow. You sipped at water but by this point that was the only thing you were living off. Anxiety made your body shake constantly, even when you were busy pinning garments and making alterations your hands shook making the work that came so easily to you, so difficult. The only thing in your mind was how you could make it right, how you could fix the mistake you’d made. You knew you couldn’t, you knew you couldn’t because you’d always feared it being the other way round and when you thought about it and your gut tied itself in knots and you felt sick, you knew it wouldn’t have been able to be fixed. But it was you who had done what you never thought you could.

Three days had passed since the phone call, and now you were waiting in what had become your shared living room, your own flat virtually unlived in on the other side of town, waiting for him to appear. His flight was due in early that morning and as you sipped on black coffee, a bad decision considering you already had the shakes and your mind was working on overdrive, and watched the sunrise you were wondering if he felt as sick as you did.

‘Please tell me I’m not seeing what I think I’m seeing.’ Harry’s voice was monotonous, emotionless as it came down the line. He didn’t even say Hello, let you know how he was. You knew what he was talking about but you were hoping he wouldn’t know yet. You were going to tell him, you wanted to tell him before he found out from someone or somewhere else but you were too late.

‘I’m so sorry Ha-’

‘Fuck Y/N.’ He shouted and you gasped. You shouldn’t have been taken back, he was angry, of course he was angry, he had every right to be but he never shouted at you. You’d seen him get angry at others, seen him shout at others, but frustration with you was always harnessed into something calmer. ‘After everything you put me through about coming out here, you’re the one who actually does it.’ His voice was quieter but you could still hear the anger in it. You’d argued about him going out to LA again. He never seemed to be home much these days, you knew he was busy and it was an important time for his career but you missed him, you were lonely and every time he went to LA something happened, something kicked off and you were the one left at home without a clue what was really going on trying to hold the pieces together.

You’d told him you couldn’t do it anymore, couldn’t sit in London fighting of paparazzi questions and tweets from fans and gossip mongrels whilst he sat back in LA and let it blow over. You knew that wasn’t what he did, if something happened he would call you and comfort you tell you he’d sort it, and he did but that didn’t stop the questions. ‘Have you spoken to Harry?’ ‘He’s cheating on you can’t you see it.’ ‘She’s an idiot to think she could keep him away from the models out there.’ How could you ignore it? He’d promised he’d be working the whole time he was there and he’d be back as soon as it was all sorted, there’d be no time for partying or socialising and it seemed there hadn’t been, but that wasn’t the case for you.

You’d been invited out for a night out with some friends and you decided to go. You’d been working to the death the last few weeks on your collection and you deserved to let your hair down. Apart from anything else it would take your mind of Harry for a while. And it did just that. You didn’t know what you were thinking when you let the young lad, that looked like a brit-pop throwback, who had been dancing too close all night, press his lips onto yours. You pushed him away as soon as you realised what was going on but not before someone in the club had snapped a picture. Within hours it was doing the rounds on social media before you even knew about it, by the time you knew it was too late to do any kind of damage control.

‘Harry please listen to me.’ You were crying now. You were scared of what what you could lose, you couldn’t be without him but it would be your own fault if he decided he couldn’t be with you now and you weren’t sure how to process that. He was silent, that was the only cue you needed. ‘I was lonely, I was missing you, I was st-’

‘You were missing me?’ He laughed in disbelief and you sobbed. ‘Missing me so much, were you missing me while you were kissing him?’ You stayed silent just sobbing. ‘Answer me.’ He screamed.

‘Harry please don’t shout at me.’ You begged, your voice faltering as tears flooded down your face.

‘Stop crying, you have no right to cry, you fucked up I’m the one that should be crying.’ He told you angrily, spitting his words down the phone to you. You knew he was right but you were shaking with the fear of losing him and you couldn’t help but cry. You breathed trying to hold it back. If it would make him tolerate your voice until you could explain, or try to explain, you’d hold the sobs back until you couldn’t breathe.

‘It just happened, he kissed me, I pushed him away and that was it.’ You told him quickly in one breath before you hiccuped. You wish you could see him, you wished he could see you. If he could see how much you hated yourself, how angry you were at yourself, how much you loved him maybe he’d realise.

‘Did you kiss him back?’ He asked quietly. In honesty you couldn’t remember, if it wasn’t for the photos you might not have even remembered the kiss had happened. You wished you could forget but now it was all you could think about. ‘You did didn’t you.’

‘I don’t know.’

‘You don’t know?’ He laughed and you could hear his voice sticking to his mouth. His voice wetter, you knew he was crying now. Maybe he could cope if some random guy had come onto you, he’d seen you dancing on nights out, he knew how attractive you were, and yeah a guy might come onto you. Not when he was there because he wouldn’t leave your side when he was there but on your own, catching you unaware maybe he could get over that. But the thought of you pushing your lips, his lips, into a stranger was too much to bare.

‘Harry I’m sorry, I love-’

‘Don’t.’ He told you and sobbed loudly. ‘I don’t want to speak to you right now I can’t deal with it, I’ll see you when I’m back.’

‘I love you Harry.’ He didn’t reply and the phone line went dead before you could finish. Now you were about to see him. You’d thought about staying in his grey, random donut shop hoodie that you’d been wearing for the last three days but you didn’t know how he’d react so you opted for your hoodie and some jeans. Your uniform for working days. You could really do without this today. You needed to be in the studio, in only five days your first collection would be on the catwalk at London fashion week. You needed to be doing alterations, getting measurements, making sure everything was sorted but the two page long to do list on your desk hadn’t even crept into your mind yet. All you could think about was Harry, all you could think about was how all you wanted was for him to pull you into his arms the way he normally did when he got back from a trip but you knew that wouldn’t happen.

You heard his key in the door and you closed your eyes taking a deep breath. You didn’t move, you didn’t wander out to find him. Tears were already stinging your eyes as you heard him pulling his bags through the door and the door close heavily. It was seconds, but it felt like minutes until he was stood in the living room door looking at you. He looked as tired and weak as you did. The bags under his eyes were heavier and darker than you’d ever known them, and despite having been in LA for two weeks his skin looked pale and matte. The tears that had been stinging your eyes fell down you cheeks at the sight of him and he just shook his head.

‘Say something.’ You begged him, not moving as he took his first few steps into the room but not coming near you.

‘I don’t know what to say Y/N.’ He told you. He was staring straight at you but it felt like it was more straight through you. He didn’t know who you were anymore.

‘Will you let me explain.’ He shrugged and you swallowed hard on nothing, your coffee long since finished. ‘I was drunk, that’s not an excuse but I was, I can’t remember hardly any of the night-’

‘These sound like excuses Y/N.’ He told you looking cocky. That look would either normally turn you on or annoy you but right now it just made you feel even more guilty.

‘They’re not,’ You told him trying to assure him you weren’t excusing you inexcusable behaviour. ‘He’d been moving in on me and Jen all night and we pushed him away but finally I’d had enough and I let him dance with us, he obviously took it the wrong way-’

‘You seem to remember a lot of the night you can hardly remember any off.’ He interrupted again and you sighed. You couldn’t get annoyed at him for taking stabs at you or for interrupting you when you were trying to explain. And apart from anything else he was right.

‘He obviously took it the wrong way and he kissed me.’ You finished, Harry rolled his eyes and shook his head.

‘And you kissed him back.’ He said it like he knew, like he’d seen it himself. You shook your head. ‘That’s what the papers and Twitter is saying.’

‘So you’re going to believe them over me?’ You asked he shrugged, he didn’t seem to care. Perhaps he was over it by now. ‘Harry you know what those people are like, you know the shit they come out with, I’m your girlfriend-’

‘No you’re not.’ Your heart broke in that instant. You were shocked into silence, your voice gone and your heart rate tripling. You wanted to fight back, to question it but you thought you might be sick if you opened your mouth. Harry moved closer to you, you could feel his breath as he pulled your face up to look at him. ‘I trusted my girlfriend with everything, I loved her with everything I am, I’d have gone to the ends of the earth for her, she’d have done the same for me.’ Your tears were falling fast and hard, blurring your vision so you could hardly make him out. ‘I don’t know who you are.’ He spat before dropping your face and walking away from you toward the stairs.

‘I’m going for a shower, I want you out by the time I’m done.’ You went to chase him, protest, he was already half way up the stairs by the time you got to the bottom and called his name. ‘I said I want you out Y/N, I don’t want you here right now.’

You sat at the bar on the other side of town from where you’d been three hours ago, waiting. Three hours ago you’d just finished your first show at London fashion week. For most it probably got lost amongst all the other, bigger, well attended shows, but for you it was the biggest deal, made bigger by Harry’s presence. He’d promised he’d be there, of course he’d promised before you’d betrayed his trust, you should have known he wouldn’t break that promise. Harry Styles was many things but he never went back on his word. You should have known that. He sat in the front row with other mutual friends of yours looking better in a shirt from your collection than the model who was wearing it. It certainly hadn’t gone unnoticed by you, but it also hadn’t gone unnoticed by the journalists and paparazzi outside either. He’d told them he didn’t want to talk about your relationship but they couldn’t help themselves.

‘That’s one of Y/N’s pieces you’re wearing, isn’t that comment enough?’ One of them asked, Harry chuckled and rolled his eyes. You knew the sort of questions they would ask in the current climate, he knew too, you didn’t know why he stopped. You wished he hadn’t, you didn’t want to hear his potential answers, you didn’t want to hear the questions that were on everyone’s lips, yours included. But there were for you to ask, no one else.

‘Look, she’s a good designer I’m here to see the show, shall we leave it at that?’ Harry said before walking away. You saw the video on Twitter, there were the usual nasty comments alongside it and you’d been tagged in some of them but you ignored them all, just watched the video and closed the app. You were there to do your job, you were good at your job, you focused on that.

You caught his eye as you walked down the catwalk at the end of the show to a wildly loud applause. He was smiling,standing with your friends to applaud you and he even gave you a wink. You wished he hadn’t, it confused you even more than it comforted you. Once you returned back up the catwalk he was holding his phone up in front of his face and you felt a little less comforted. He didn’t care as much as he once would have done. It was that, that ensured you didn’t feel good about the meeting he’d proposed, the text coming through to your phone as you were taking garments from models.

Can we meet at the bar later?

It was vague but you knew where he meant.

Sure, I’ll be a couple of hours here so 7ish ok?

See you then

Those few hours passed too slowly. You were confident of what he was going to say, which way it was going to go. He wasn’t going to forgive you, he couldn’t. How could he trust you? If he couldn’t trust you what kind of relationship did you have? You knew it, you could feel it in your stomach but you just wanted to hear it. You wanted to see him, see if anything could be salvaged even if it was just the shadow of a friendship. The wink he’d given you, the proud smile on his face as you walked down the catwalk after your models, made you think that maybe.

It was all whirling around your head in a mess of thoughts as you sat at the bar, Long Island iced tea in hand. You moved it around on the bar, spinning it in your fingers occasionally taking a sip as you mulled your situation over and tried to put yourself in Harry’s shoes. You couldn’t though. He’d never done anything like this to you and you knew he never would. Your drink was half finished when Harry arrived. His hand on your back made you aware of your presence. You smiled weakly as he sat on the stood next to you leaning it to kiss your cheek politely, always polite. The bar man wandered over before anything other than ‘Hi, how are you?’ Could be said.

‘Can I just get,’ He hesitated thinking about it. ‘Ah screw it can I get a daiquiri and another Long Island Iced Tea.’ He didn’t even have to ask, he knew what you’d be drinking in here. Best Long Island Iced Tea in town he’d told you the first time he met you in this bar. He had no idea what he was talking about, and it certainly wasn’t the best Long Island Iced Tea you’d had in London but you couldn’t order anything else. ‘How was your afternoon?’ He asked turning to you, it seemed like a normal conversation wa going to ensure but you knew, not only because it was obvious, but because of the way he was playing with his lips that he was just waiting for his drink to arrive so you’d be undisturbed until he broached the subject.

‘Not bad ta you?’ You asked taking a sip of his drink, he nodded and shrugged. He was wearing exactly the same clothes as he had been earlier. Black jeans, of course, your white silk shirt, black leather boots and the black woolen trench style coat you’d bought him. ‘Where’s everyone else?’ You asked, you knew.

‘Gone for drinks you know that.’ You did know that, that was the plan for after the show. You were all going to go for celebratory drinks before a night on the town but things had changed and Harry was more important.

‘This is more important.’ You told him and he agreed with a nod as the barman bought your drinks over. Harry thanked him and took a sip of the pale yellow cocktail.

‘Collection looked great by the way Y/N.’ He told you with a smile and you thanked him nervously. ‘Got my eyes on a few things.’ He told you cheekily and you chuckled lightly through your straw as you slurped the last mouthful of your cocktail.

‘Well you get friends and family discount, and that’s not a bribe.’ You joked but regretted it instantly. ‘Sorry that was inappropriate.’ You looked down at the bar pulling the second drink closer and pushing the finished one away.

‘Don’t be silly it’s fine.’ He smiled placing his hand on your thigh. You sighed and tried to ignore the contact, you didn’t know what it meant and you were scared to ask. You’d missed it though, his hands on your, his arms around you, his lips. The small touch was enough for now, it was more than you expected and you’d take what you could get.

‘I’m so sorry Harry, I wish-’ You began but he interrupted you and took your hand, turning you in your stool so you faced him.

‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ He told you and you looked at him confused and slightly panicked. If he wouldn’t even hear you out you stood no chance. You thought he’d wanted to meet so you could talk but perhaps he’d already made his mind up, perhaps it was already over for him and there was no going back. ‘It was all a bit much at first and I didn’t handle it very well.’ You went to interrupt him, tell him he handled it better than you probably would have, that his reaction was more than understandable. ‘You were right, I should have trusted you over what everyone was saying and I do really it just took me a while to realise.’ You nodded taking it in. ‘I don’t want you to explain it, I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want you to apologise, I just want to forget it and move on.’ You thought you were going to cry from overwhelming happiness this was going in the complete opposite direction to that you’d thought and prepared for.

‘Harry.’ You gushed. ‘Are you sure, I mean I’d understand if you never wanted to see me again.’ You told him and he laughed.

‘Y/N you’re being ridiculous.’ He told you, your brow furrowed instinctively not quite believing what you were hearing. ‘A drunk guy in a club kissed you, you pushed him away, I mean I’m not happy about it but I’m not going to lose you over it.’ You laughed in disbelief and joy. ‘Let’s just be glad I wasn’t there or you might have been about to become a regular visitor at the local prison.’ You laughed again but this time with humour, everything felt right now and your hand in his didn’t feel like an intrusion. ‘I love you, let’s not something like this happen again.’ You nodded and leaned in to kiss him, savouring every second of his lips on yours. ‘I was thinking, you need to talk to your landlord about your flat.’ You nodded in agreement as conversation flowed in a way it might have done when he’d first arrived back from LA five days earlier, it was like the last week was erased and you couldn’t have been more grateful. ‘Also I’ve got a friend in LA who wants to look at your collection.’ Your eyes went wide and Harry laughed at your reaction.

‘Are you serious?’ London was one thing but the states was another. Harry nodded at you still chuckling.

‘She couldn’t get enough of this shirt and when I told you it was your design she asked if there was more.’ You laughed. You knew Harry Styles walking around in clothes you’d designed could only be a good thing but you’d never imaged it could be that good.

‘Oh my god Harry, thank you.’ You practically leaped off the chair and into his arms. ‘Thank you.’ You said quietly, comforted by his body so close to yours again his arms wrapped around you.

‘You don’t have to thank me, I’ve got nothing to do with you abundance of talent.’ He told you to which you giggled as you pulled back from him a little pressing another, single kiss against his lips. ‘Shall we go find the others?’ You nodded Harry downing the last of his drink before standing from his stool and taking your hand leading you out the door.

The next morning you wake up, naked in Harry’s bed. The smell of his sheets engulfing you. Harry’s side of the bed is empty but the sound of the coffee machine whirring downstairs and the smell of sweet, blueberry pancakes tells you he’s downstairs sorting the normal Saturday breakfast. You pull the heavy duvet in closer for a few seconds, enjoying his sheets alone for a little longer while you check your phone. You pull the charger out of it and the screen illuminates with notifications. Texts of congratulations, a couple of emails and a retweets but one twitter mention that catches your eye.

‘@Harry_Styles mentioned you in a Tweet!’

You unlock your phone slightly confused. It takes a few minutes to load but when it does you could cry. A photo of you walking back up the catwalk the previous day after your show. You’d worn a navy pant suit but lost the jacket earlier in the morning in the mess so you had the tailored trousers on, a black high neck top, the sleeves rolled up to your elbows and your everyday silver bracelets and rings glittering. Your hair was tied in a loose bun at the nape of your neck and the bright red lipstick you’d decided on to make you look a little more alive stood out. You had a smile on your face, a smile of relief but also a smile of dread as you saw Harry, phone in hand ceasing to smile and clap you. Now it made sense.

‘My gorgeous girlfriend doing me proud as she does everyday with you to the end. H x’ You felt the tears stinging in your eyes. It looked like it was directed to you, it was your twitter handle in the tweet but you knew it was a message to the world and everyone who continued to feel the need to ask questions and talk about your relationship like they had a clue about it. You took a deep breath and liked the tweet so he knew you’d seen it before swinging your legs out of the bed and searching for the donut hoodie that you couldn’t wait to put back on.