crying about how boring and ugly this looks

well racism aside, “wanted” was really disappointing

the pacing was waaay too fast and the crew didn’t seem to even know where they were going with it? they wanted a big pink diamond centric event at first but then it turned into meeting new gems and immediately leaving. and surprise surprise, even when we finally get to homeworld we’re STILL faked out of seeing what it’s like. all we saw were some really basic light pastel gradient backgrounds and a pitch black, nearly empty room with big thrones and a massive diamond authority symbol slapped onto the ground that had some sort of pedestal in the middle for steven to stand on. next we see something decently promising for a few seconds with the pink and green colors and white diamond in the back, only to be shown some dull ruins and then the rest of the episodes just take place in one kindergarten cavern. we don’t even learn anything new about homeworld besides the existence of the off colors. and then when steven gets back to earth everyone is so…calm about it. like why is pearl the only one with those boring ghibli tears. why does everyone else look mildly surprised. where is the ugly crying of joy where everyone screams steven’s name and they all start rambling about how worried they were and they nearly tackle him to give him a hug. where is steven crying too and hugging everyone back but immediately gets serious and tells everyone that lars and other gems are in danger and the episode ends on an actually threatening note. the way steven returned was also so lackluster too? like he could’ve spent more time on homeworld and made a cool ship with the off colors and lars and saved everyone, or hijacked one or SOMETHING but nope he can just conveniently teleport to his home now and get a fucking glass of water and some food. and wow so much for the last bomb not having anything blatantly offensive in it bc just…look at lars now

Love is terrible. It burns your chest, makes your stomach clench, your lungs hurt from lack of breath around your love. At least, that’s how Akiteru explains it – he uses nicer words, he loves love – but the general concept is there. That’s why Kei avoids it. He doesn’t want his heart alight by some unknown force, doesn’t want to lose his lunch thinking about someone, wants to be able to breathe. He likes things just the way they are, thank you very much. 

“I’ll be right back– a- are you sure you don’t want to come with me?.. Th- The time might pass faster for you if you were around some cute dogs?..” 

“I don’t like Ishikawa-san’s dogs, I think I’ll stay with Momoe.” Kei pats the golden retriever’s head, and the pup nuzzles into the touch. “Just don’t stay outside with them while they do their business, it’s freezing outside.” 

“Ok, Tsukki! Have fun!” 

“Yeah. Come back safe.” 

This is normal for them– Tadashi and Kei’s routines. They always try to look out for the other’s health and safety; always tell the other to come back safe if they have to leave to do something. Others think it’s endearing, think it’s sweet, think they’re a couple. Kei doesn’t mind; he and Tadashi both know they’re not an item, who cares what others think? 

Kei watches Tadashi leave, bundled in Kei’s – Kei’s – winter jacket, and when he’s gone, Kei takes a moment to take in his surroundings. He’s in Tadashi’s living room, snug under the kotatsu table, looking over some notes he’s supposed to be copying from Tadashi after he spaced out in class. Momoe, Tadashi’s therapy dog, sits next to him where Tadashi previously occupied, reading a book while Kei did notes. 

Ha, Kei thinks, Book. He picks it up, and looks it over. The “book” is exactly what he’d thought it was, a book cover from a thesaurus not-so-discreetly taped on over shiny bright pink. The new shoujo manga Tadashi had bought on their last outing into town a week ago, pages still neat (not tear stained like most of Tadashi’s manga), spine unbroken (like all of Tadashi’s manga). Kei scoffs. He doesn’t get why Tadashi tries to hide it, it’s not like Kei cares either way that Tadashi’s studying habits involve all nighters and ten cans of Redbull (ok, he does, but he’s given up trying to change that part of Tadashi; there are some things that can’t be taken from that boy). 

With a shake of his head, Kei loos at the back of the book and rolls his eyes. 

Kumiko Akiyama is in love with her childhood best friend, Akira Fujioka; she’s tall, charming, and smart. Everything Kumiko thinks she’s not. Kumiko is clumsy, her hair unruly, and she’s very awkward. But Akira thinks Kumiko is perfect, and that she’s unworthy of her best friend. Follow these two girls through high school, awkward encounters, and confessions! 

A typical teenage girl book– a typical Tadashi book; he’s always read shounen-ai and yuri manga with no shame, and this manga is no different. Though, as Kei flips through the pages, barely paying attention to the – who he assumes is – totally bland main character as he sees tear stains already on the first few pages. He frowns. It doesn’t look like a sad book, it looks like a normal slice-of-life type. 

Kei knocks it up to curiosity. What could make Tadashi cry so much in the very beginning? He doesn’t want to read Tadashi’s stupid shoujo manga. 

He opens it, and starts to read. It starts out boring enough; the main character, Kumiko, talking about how she and Akira became friends, how Akira was always there when other girls picked on her for being ugly, how she fell for her best friend. All very generic. 

Then the scene cuts to Kumiko and Akira walking to school and Kumiko explains their routine (which oddly reminds Kei of his own walks with Tadashi). The entire time Kumiko tries not to think of how she just wants to take Akira’s hand, so close to her own, and hold it, but she doesn’t want to ruin their friendship. And then

“Ah. I have to go help sensei, will you be ok for a few minutes while I’m gone?” 

“Sure, go ahead. Come back safe.” 

Oh. Oh. Kei knows why there’s– He understands now. 

Love is terrible. You’ll be happy for years, going on with your life, your best friend at your side, and then one day you read a manga about childhood friends falling in love and think “well, that’s like me and– fuck” and the world turns upside down.