cry project

3

Mistakes were made. And worse is that you failed to keep the subjects contained and recover them after the initial breach. Now we have potentially dangerous individuals at large. Over 30 of them

And currently we only have budget to surveil one

Not to be dramatic but the looks Mako and Korra give each other in the series finale are and forever will be the most loving and heartfelt expressions in any fiction universe and nothing will convince me otherwise

Originally posted by knock

2

I Can’t Think Straight (2008)

Context: Leyla, a Muslim British-Indian woman, is coming out to her mother, telling her “I’m gay.” Her mother reacts with horror and disgust, telling her “You’re up to your neck in sin” and going so far as to ask “Who did this to you?”

But it’s this scene that sums up the reality of LGBTQ+ desi youth. Our parents may very well love us and want the best for us, but the absolute bottom line is: our parents do not want us to be happy. They want us to be appropriate, to be respectful, to have children and well-earning careers, to fit into the mold of heteronormativity and gender roles, to be religious and pious. But no, they do not want us to be happy. Happiness doesn’t fit into it. To them, happiness is indistinguishable as a separate characteristic because according to them, doing all of these things should already be making us happy. The ideal created for desi children is that they shouldn’t strive to do what makes them happy, but what makes them “good.” Unfortunately, under this context, good is defined as anything that isn’t seen as immoral or out of the norm. 

A woman who is not straight is rejecting her role as a wife, and to a lesser extent, her role as a mother. She is rejecting the notion of subservience to men, of obedience and inferiority. Under our current system that is hugely patriarchal, a woman who does not submit is a threat. 

Now, I’m not saying desi parents are bad parents or hate their children because it’s pretty clear this happens in nearly every other culture in the world. But I am saying that desi parents do not make their children’s happiness a priority, they make their children’s success a priority: successful careers and marriages and children = successful lives. So if you ask a desi parent “do you want your kid to be happy?” they’ll immediately say “yes, of course.” But if you add on “do you want your kid to be gay if that makes them happy?” the answer will be a lot less positive.

This movie tackled Leyla’s sexuality and coming out to her parents absolutely head-on with no coyness about it. She goes straight up to her mother and admits that she’s a lesbian. But her mother’s reaction is really the thing that most “coming out” stories try to gloss over, or sugarcoat, or just in general avoid. Her mother admits with frank and brutal honesty the truth that all LGBTQ+ desi kids know: our parents would rather see us miserable and straight than queer and happy.

manufactured happiness in the form of a plastic smile

aka: is that a fall out boy song

anyway, this is for @vldangstweek day two - failure/insecurity 

read on ao3 !!

-

Lance knows he’s not the best.

He’s known this for a while now, ever since he went to the Garrison and everyone was so competitive and smart and they could wing tests and get A’s, while Lance was working the hardest he’d ever had to barely pass. Lance figured out he’s far from the best when he failed all the simulators and got the commanders angry with him. He knew he wasn’t the best when everyone he tried to befriend (save Hunk) shied away, either because they didn’t want to be seen hanging around the local class idiot or because they couldn’t handle his coming-apart-at-the-seams personality.

Lance met this all with a smile and a joke, always telling himself to fake it ‘til he made it, because soon he would reach the farthest galaxies and meet alien races and it would all be okay. Besides, he didn’t need to host a pity party. (It would be pathetic and, besides, pretending feelings aren’t there is much easier than confronting them.)

Lance has always known, somewhere in his head, that he will never ascend average. But no one else needs to know that sometimes it’s hard not to cry because his mind won’t let him think about anything but the fact that he’s never going to be good enough, much less great, so he manufactures his own happiness and broadcasts it to the world. It feels artificial, and, sometimes, Lance thinks the world can feel it, too. But he’s usually wrong, because nobody ever does or says anything about how his smile never really meets his eyes, or how his voice sounds just a little too upbeat (which are both so obvious to Lance; how can no one else see?).

Ever since he’s been up in space, the feelings have just gotten worse. He’s always one step behind everyone else, just short of some milestone that’s called “good enough,” always either too much or too little. During training exercises, he always does the worst of everyone, held back by lack of skill or lack of confidence, which has Allura yelling at him and Shiro giving him this kind of disappointed look that makes Lance want to leave his body and be someone else, if not forever than just for a minute.

Battles with the Galra are always hard for Lance, too, because there’s so much light and noise and feeling and everything, all at once, and he can never focus, or he just focuses too much on one small thing, but everyone else does just fine, and it hurts, because, again, he’s too much or too little, and that can never be fixed. (Not to mention that sometimes, when the team is in a bad mood, they yell at Lance in a battle when he’s not doing what he’s supposed to do - fight like they do - which only makes it so much worse, but he can’t tell them that, because that’s selfish and it’ll just distract them more.)

Conversations and relationships with the team are two things Lance has trouble with, too. Because he always talks too much and too quickly, and his brain moves at three hundred miles per hour, so he’s always stumbling over his own words, and he’s just so much, that most of his relationships with his teammates seem like half-relationships, with Lance being the only one trying to do anything for them. Sometimes he’ll try to be quieter and give everyone more room, but when he does that, he’s too quiet, almost silent, and it puts everyone on edge because No, that’s not right, Lance is the talkative one. And when he gets tired of suppressing his thoughts, he spews all the words out at once, forgetting to pause and breathe in between sentences, and the attention falls from him, until he’s having a one-sided conversation with the air about whatever the fuck Lance thought would maybe interest the person he was talking to.

All these things keep him up at night, sometimes, no matter how much he tries to quell them or hide them in the far reaches of his brain (or maybe even get rid of them entirely). And sometimes Lance will let a few tears slip out before he remembers how goddamn pathetic and selfish he is for pitying himself so much. Everyone else has their own troubles, all bigger than Lance’s, which are the ones he really should be thinking about and what he can do to maybe help a few of his team members.

So he puts on a plastic smile and pretends it doesn’t hurt when he’s so far behind everyone else that reaching out for them just looks like he’s examining his fingernails.

Langst Oneshot

_____________________

I love Lance :’) I swear…

Warnings: Self esteem issues, heavy angst, crying

Don’t repost this anywhere. I’ll be uploading it to Ao3 later ]

____________________

They don’t like you.

You’re annoying.

You’re useless.

You’re stupid.

What do you bring to the team?

Nothing.

You bring nothing.

Why can’t you be better?

Why can’t you be stronger?

Faster?

Smarter?

More like Keith?

Lance let out a broken sob, tears trickling down his cheeks. He wasn’t cut out for this, for defending the universe. He let himself believe for awhile that he was destined for this. That it was fate that brought him to Pilot the Blue Lion. But he quickly had learned that he was wrong. He wasn’t special. He didn’t have any particular skills or any likeable qualities. The Blue Lion picked him because she was the most accepting and willing for someone to pilot her, and the others were meant to pilot the others. Lance was lucky he had even been taken along anyway.

He was surprised the others hadn’t decided to just dump him off somewhere and replace him by now. He was sure they could find someone that was better than him every single way.

None of them would miss him. He annoyed the princess, Shiro didn’t take him seriously, Hunk had Pidge now to talk about tech stuff with, Coran was always so busy with the castle, and Keith hated him.

They probably all hated him.

The thought make his body shake as he let out another sob. God, why couldn’t he stop crying? He was being a selfish baby.  If the others saw him like this, they’d definitely think he was too weak and fragile to pilot Blue, and they were right.

They thought he was egotistical and confident and that nothing ever fazed him. But it was wrong, so wrong. In reality Lance knew he was as fragile as glass. He was so easy to shatter, and his surface was already cracking. Lance had pretended for so long. He had bragged and boasted and declared himself the hero, but he had lied. The words had left a bitter taste in his mouth every time he spoke them, and the smiles were now as fake as him. He’d painted them on his face to hide what he was really feeling.  

You’ll never be a hero.

Just look at you.

You’re just a burden.

You’re dragging the whole team down.

His grip tightened on his brown hair and he sucked in a shuddering breath. He needed to stop crying, he needed to paint that smile back on his face. He needed to get up before someone came looking for him and found him crying on the floor. With shaky legs, he pushed himself up onto his feet and swayed for a few seconds. He wanted to just lie back down and curl in his bed and cry till he was empty of tears. But dinner would be ready soon, and he couldn’t not go. He couldn’t make them suspicious. Trembling, he dragged himself into the bathroom and hunched over the sink, splashing water into his face before he stood back up. Staring at his reflection made him cringe. His eyes were red rimmed and his face was wet with tears and sweat. His lips were pressed into a flat line. He looked awful. With a broken sounding sigh, he began to wash his face.

After a few minutes, he couldn’t even tell that he had been crying, his eyes losing the redness. A tired smile stretched across his face and he ran a hand through his hair. No one would notice a thing.

They don’t care.

Lance paused and shook his head. Of course they cared. They were good people, and they were his friends. But they had more important things on their minds to worry about; Lance wasn’t worth wasting their thoughts on.

Grabbing his jacket, he pulled it into his shoulders and swept out of his room, and down the corridor. He spent the walk in silence, face blank from emotion and hands swinging loosely at his sides.

When he reached the door to the dining room, it opened with a whoosh and Lance stepped inside, the smile plastered back on his face and his voice calling out a greeting.

No one noticed it was fake.

3

Hyper Projection Engeki Haikyuu - Karasuno, Revival!

Hirono Ryouta of Datekou, the youngest of the cast, thanked everyone for being able to be a part of such a wonderful production for his stage debut.  He was also the only one to come down with a major case of sniffles.

Please do not repost gifs

Hetalia x Black Mirror Crossover - Wattpad Request


I had a lot of fun doing this.