cry now smile later

Hawaiian memories

A/N: I’m not using the gif or pictures.. but it’s obviously about harry playing tag with that adorable little girl and sitting at the table.. That gif made me feel so many things…my ovaries may or may not have exploded. Anywaaaaay…. I had to write it. I’m not sorry for it, I had to leave you with something. like and reblog and whatnot! enjoy!

all the love,


You were feeling really happy and emotional at the same time.. The first time you and Harry went to Hawaii together, you found out that you were pregnant. all the two of you could do that day was cry, smile and harry giving kisses to your tummy. Now three years later, Hawaii was the mini vacation destination again. All of you were invited to a summer wedding in Hawaii… and of course your little one was coming along for the ride. 

This would be her first ever big vacation abroad. The flight went perfectly okay and she behaved really well.. The first few days you had all the time to just stroll around and looked at a few places. But all your little girl could ask was     ‘’ Mommy, Daddy… when are we going to see the lady in a pretty dress?’’ You and Harry looked at each other and smiled… ‘’ soon baby girl, the wedding is tomorrow’’. Back at the hotel you put the little one to bed and the both of you stayed awake for a bit longer. He was doing some work on his laptop and you were reading something about how to make great healthy meal. ‘’ She’s really obsessed with people getting married, isn’t she?’’ as he looked up to you and smiled. You nodded and winked back at him, ‘’ maybe it’s time for us to have that wedding then? since she’s all aware of people wearing pretty dresses and saying yes and such’’ Harry started nervously laughing…. ‘’ hah, yeah maybe.. who knows’’. After that the two of you went to bed, all because that little angel of yours would be up around 5 am. 

The next day everyone was getting dressed and doing their make-up. Harry helped you out with your dress, and well… you stared at him, because he looked drop dead gorgeous. ‘’ Mommy can i wear a bit of makeup please… you look very pretty.. doesn’t she daddy?’’.You answered your baby girl with a simple yes. So she got a little bit of clear lipgloss on and walked around like she wore so much. ‘’ LOOK DADDY, NOW I LOOK LIKE MOMMY’’ and he started laughing.. ‘’yes love, I’m so lucky to have two beautiful women in my life’’. When you arrived at the wedding, you chatted to a few people and said your hello’s.  Your little one found some other kids to play with, but when the ceremony started she sat neatly next to her dad. ‘’ how does she look princess?’’ as he watched his little girl look at the bride. He didn’t get a answer from her, which probably meant she was impressed. After the ceremony was done, you all were seated at a table for dinner. You wanted to send a picture to Anne and your own mom, so you asked a lady next to you to take a picture. When the photo was taken you looked at it and smiled. ‘’ look love, she only has eyes for you. Both of the grandma’s aren’t important enough to smile in to the camera’’ and both of you started laughing. ‘’ they are, but I know I’m more important. obviously.’’ and he started grinning. The evening was rather fun! there was a lot of music and happiness all around. Harry started dancing with the little one, on his feet. It’s something he does with her, when she wants to dance like mom and dad. But she can also throw some crazy shapes just like her dad, and they are definitely not afraid to show that. Around 1 AM the main party was over and the three of you went to bed. The next day there was a casual lunch, that all of you were also invited too. 

The lunch was going great so far. Both you and Harry had a chance to talk to people you didn’t see for a while. Harry was wearing a snapback again and was walking barefoot. To be honest the snapback was reminding you of years ago, when he used to wear one all the time. You were sitting down at the table and watch Harry run around with his daughter, having the time of his life. They were running around and fell down on the grass. Both of them started laughing really loud. It’s like having two little children to take care off, they weren’t drinking enough so you called them over. She drank a few sips of her water and harry took his champagne, and they ran around even more. You grabbed your phone and started filming them. ‘’ DADDY, let’s play tag now.’’ He agreed and played tag with her. You send the video you made to your mom and Anne. They would love to see Harry playing tag and being a wonderful loving father. 

As you looked up from your phone, you didn’t see Harry and your daughter anywhere. You got a little bit anxious, so you started to look for them. ‘’ Hi, have you seen Harry?’’ and the person shook their head. One of harry’s friends walked over to you and said you needed to walk over to the beach. As you walked over to the beach, you noticed some cute little hearts in the plants and trees. When you got at the beach you took of your shoes, and searched for Harry. After a few minutes of looking, you found Harry and your daughter, sitting on a rock. ‘’ HI MUMMY, YOU CAME!!’’ and ran over to you. ‘’ yeah love, I lost you for a second.’’ and hugged her really tight.

What is this harry? as you stood in front of him. He seemed a bit nervous, Harry was rarely nervous.’’ well, you know how we jokingly talked about marriage? because our little princess loves it. And that she’s old enough to realise what would happen?’’ You stood there nodding at what he was saying. ‘’uhm.. I wasn’t a joke for me. I’ve been planning and waiting for the right moment to ask. I love you with all my heart, and i couldn’t think of my life without you. All these years with you have been the best part of my life. You gave me the best thing in the world and made me a dad. A dad to this little girl… I know Hawaii holds a special place in your heart. It’s the place I first took you on our vacation, the place where we three years later found out we were going to be parents. I want to make this place even more of a memory..’’ As he was talking and saying all of these things, you softly started to cry. You weren’t a cryer but the things he was saying were so sweet. ‘’ you want to take this away little one?’’ as he looked over to your daughter. She walked over to you with a little box. and said to you ‘’ Mommy, daddy wants me and you to wear a pretty dress. Can we wear a pretty dress?’’ You looked at your daughter and smiled, and then you looked at Harry who didn’t seem nervous anymore. He looked.. relaxed. ‘’yes, yes.. yes we can wear a pretty dress. And we will wear a pretty dress’‘ 

The answer you gave made your daughter jump around and yelled at her dad ‘‘ DADDY DADDY WE CAN WEAR A PRETTY DRESS’‘. He looked over at you with the biggest smile you had ever seen. He picked you up and twirled you around. As you walked back to the lunch, you let Harry and your daughter walked ahead of you and smiled at the most beautiful sight.

This was another memory made in Hawaii. 

the cops are coming to fetch my bones–
now, that’s a good boy.
it’s nuts– almond joy, Tolstoy,
and cherry papers–
pull strings
and capers,
talk shit–
shake sabers;   
sex and drugs
only plug your reservoir
for so long;
so long sucker– I’m gone;
laugh now, cry later–
smile through tears.
the perfume of fear
on everything good;
past curfew, lost virtue
everything’s wood.
no struggle, just lift– misunderstood;
shell casing talisman:
it keeps the evil away,
when the knives are at your back
inner peace
keeps em at bay;
the great white perception
molds us like clay
please be kind
then press play.
—  rewind