cruz control

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Why does Ted Cruz always stand like he’s a Termin- oh my god

Ted Cruz is a Terminator and was sent back in time by Skynet to perform the Zodiac killings.

This also explains why Ted Cruz has such a weird smile.

The Zodiac Killer (Ted Cruz) killed 37 seemingly random people. But were they really random? Is it possible that those 37 people were important resistance fighters during the war with the machines?

After assassinating each target, Cruz is stuck in the past and goes quiet, having fulfilled his duties… Until the 2016 election. Why is a Terminator running for president? To ensure Skynet gains control.

Ted Cruz is a Terminator.

Never forget that time Obama shed a tear for 20 slaughtered school kids and tanned obnoxious, depraved, photogenic Fox News hosts were smirking and laughing uproariously at him and calling him a phony.  “I bet he had an onion under the table! LOLZ!”

The GOP in a nutshell, basically.

TBH, how anyone involved in that whole segment can still show their face in public is a mystery to me. 

In last night’s GOP debate they mentioned the San Bernardino shooting (committed by Muslims) shooting 81 times. They mentioned the Charleston shooting (committed by a white supremacist guy) 0 times.

Seriously, though: If you’re some poor, unfortunate American who ever finds themselves getting shot by a crazy nutjob with an assault weapon in a mass shooting…

Well, before you die and pass on to the eternal afterlife with Jesus/Allah/Buddha/L. Ron Hubbard/Whoever make sure to get a look at the shooter and his skin color  Ask his religion, if you can summon up the energy while you slowly bleed to death.

Then you will know, ultimately, if the GOP will ever give a shit about you and your life. Or if they will just forget about you because, hey, Wayne LaPierre and the NRA making money matters far more than innocent dead people.

LaPierre REALLY needs that luxury yacht, you understand.