cruncha

how to get a girlfriend (easy)

what you’ll need:

  • one (1) box of captain crunch
  • a copy of fallout: new vegas (pc or console, both work)
  • lactos-free milk or soy milk (never regular milk)
  • one (1) can of sprite
  • confidence!!!!!

steps:

  • find a girl you like
  • make sure she’s into girls by giving her the can of sprite (by then i hope i’ve made it well-known in the gay community that sprite is for gay ppl only)
  • mention you play fallout: new vegas. of she gets excited, you’ve already got yourself a date. if she doesn’t know what that is, invite her over to your house to play
  • yeah then do that. eat captain crunch while playing. kiss her on the mouth. ask her to be your gf.
  • you get married and have three kids, a dog, and a cat. you live in a nineteenth-century home in the middle of kansas. you work the farm while your wife has her canning business. 
  • sometimes you see a figure in your field of wheat and turnips: humanoid, shifting, like it’s made of smoke. every time you approach it, it vanishes. you chalk it up to your mind playing tricks on you.

Chia Parfait & Autumn Apple Crunch

As always, adapt this recipe with seasonal ingredients of your choice; plums, peaches, pineapple, berries or pears could be great instead of apples. It’s easily made vegan by leaving out the yogurt or using coconut yogurt.

Quick Chia Pudding
1 cup milk of choice (we usually use oat milk, almond milk or coconut milk)
4 tbsp chia seeds
zest from ½ lemon

Warm Apple Crunch
1-2 tbsp butter, ghee or coconut oil
1-2 tbsp honey, maple syrup or brown rice syrup
1 large apple
¼ cup / 60 ml sunflower seeds
¼ cup / 60 ml pumpkin seeds
¼ cup / 60 ml hazelnuts
½ tsp ground cinnamon
1 pinch ground ginger
1 pinch sea salt

Elements for layering
6 small glasses
full-fat plain yogurt or coconut yogurt
nut butter
chopped fresh apples
bee pollen, optional

Preparing the chia pudding: Combine all ingredients in a bowl, set aside for 15-30 minutes and stir every now and then. You can add a few teaspoons honey or maple syrup if you prefer it a little sweet.

Preparing the warm apple crunch: Chop the apples into small dices. Heat butter and honey in a skillet. Add apples, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds and hazelnut and spices and cook for about 7-8 minutes, stirring every now and then until the apples are golden and soft and the seeds and nuts are crispy.

Layering: Place a few spoonfuls of chia pudding in the bottom of 6 small glasses. Then add a dollop of nut butter, followed by a few spoonfuls of yogurt. Finally top with the warm apple crunch mixed with a few fresh apple slices and a sprinkle of bee pollen. Drizzle over some extra honey or maple syrup if preferred. Enjoy!

(Candy) Hearts in Your Eyes

Cas finds a way to communicate that doesn’t actually involve speaking, Dean follows suit. A gratuitous amount of sugar is spread around the bunker. Sam observes, armed with confetti. A Valentine’s Day fic. AO3

“Dean.”

“What.”

“Dean.”

“What, Cas?”

Dean looked where Cas was poking him in the arm. A small chalky heart was sitting on the table next to his elbow. In fact, now that he bothered to look around, there were tiny pastel hearts scattered all across the table, a couple on the floor, and a small pile on one of the far bookcases.

“Cas, you can’t just leave candy all over the place. We’re gonna get ants. Jeez you’re becoming a regular Gabriel.”

Cas shook his head. “A fondness for sweets doesn’t make me an archangel. I’d actually need grace, for one thing,” he said sardonically.

He ambled away leaving Dean feeling guilty again.

Cas had seen better days.

Dean had a propensity for blurting out whatever was on his mind, and Cas was too touchy to not get offended. They were trying to pretend everything was normal and it wasn’t really working. Something always stuck between them, wedged in the front of Dean’s chest, insistent and ignored. He felt like there was something he was supposed to do, in the silence after Cas talked, when they sat quietly together. And time passed faster than ever these days. Another damn Valentine’s Day spent inside. He’d briefly mulled over going out, ultimately deciding it wasn’t even worth the cost of gas to drive there.

The idea of someone holding him, just for the sake of it, was alien. Years ago, he would let someone wrap their arms around him. Even if only for a night, the comfort of soft embraces fueled him on the road. But he’s older now, false attachments fall away like a lizard’s shed skin.

The heart by his elbow read Hey You.

The next time Cas came into the room, Dean was ready. Cas clearly wasn’t expecting the green heart that hit him in the neck. He jumped and the chalky candy fell down the opening of his shirt. He hopped on the spot, trying to get the candy out, while Dean laughed. With a soft clink and a small ring of candy dust, the heart hit the floor. Cas leaned to pick it up, and glancing down, raised an eyebrow. By the time he looked up, Dean was gone. Dean had gone with the most innocuous one he could find. No Way. He hoped Cas didn’t see it as a shut down. When he was alone he wanted Cas there, but when Cas was in the room, they were either awkwardly quiet or fighting. And for once, he and Cas were communicating again. And maybe it was weird, the candy dust was bothering Dean’s neat sensibilities, and Sam was judging them, but it was something. 

The next morning there was a Get Real at the bottom of his coffee mug.

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A VERY SQUIDLY GIVE-AWAY

Because I love my followers to pieces, and because you’ve all been instrumental in making Lee and Janine who they are with your love and support… we’re going to have a give-away!

That’s right folks at home, just about everything you see here can be all yours!

  • The Splatoon Inkling Girl/Squid/Boy Amiibo pack
  • The Wonderful 101 for the Wii U
  • A Yokai Watch roleplay watch
  • 13 loose Yokai Watch Yokai medals including the rare Cruncha medal

That’s a roughly $100 value that can be all yours for the price of nothing– except for following and supporting this blog!

But that’s not all. For every 150 notes this post gets, I will pick a random winner for a mini prize of a $10 Nintendo e-shop gift code.

Rules

  1. Give-away ends on March 19th (my birthday!)
  2. YOU MUST BE FOLLOWING THIS BLOG
  3. You can reblog and like for 2 chances to enter (tumblr doesn’t show multiple reblogs, and if it does I’ve never noticed)
  4. You must be willing to give you home address or p.o. box for me to send out the prize pack