cruel deville

sneak peak of i’m not ashamed

SCENE ONE: long haired Rachel holds an fruit longingly while Token Goth Girl in a Christian Movie twaddles her fingers. They all have apples and nothing else. Just apples at this table. And everyone looks miserable.

OwO what’s this? She looks to the side and sees Rat Boy, Dildo Ebola, eating an orange. That’s the orange table, Rachel. We’re the apple table. We don’t associate with them. Why are they eating so much fruit? Why is he looking at her like that? Why is he looking at her at all? Why does he care?

dude


fLUSTERED dylan suddenly turns to his orange

Yes… orange, very peely and orange. he is looking for anything to distract him from his boring red-shirted friend, who is staring lustfully at an apple, a probable symbolism of the girls at the Apple Table . 

“get rid of all the fat ugly retarted gross stupid weird nerd star wars fans old people nickelback fans bronies twihards people that arent i eric har” wAIT, this red shirted, hairy-armed chap must be Eric Hairless! Wonderful. He has a glass of apple juice, and an apple. What a rebellious choice from someone outside the Apple Table. Must symbolize what will happen to the people at the Apple Table. Eric you cruel monster….. you devil…. I cant even look at him and his ham sandwich. 

Dildo and random guy who i’m assuming is some sort of Brooks Brown character look at ranting child Eric with distaste. Is he done? Will he ever be done? Seems, upon closer inspection, Dylan is the only one eating an orange. Is every table the Apple Table? Does this symbolize how Dildo Memaw had no sense of belonging in the world? What the everloving fuck is Brooks Brown Guy wearing? 1950′s Grandpa pajamas? That’s not grunge at all. We have our first glance at the pristine white hats in the background. Our eric finishes his rant and looks at Dildo for validation. W-Was it cool, Dylan-senpai? OwO?

“y-yeah.” He stutters. Oh god. I can just smell Dave Cullen. What the fuck is he wearing??? Is that some kind of bondage harness? Or it could be just a keycard or something but to what? Weird design to it also.

Eric, finding validation in the y-yeah, continues on with his rant, looking up from his beloved apple to his gay lover. “Nobody is deserving of this planet,” he says “just me and who i chose.” FUNNY because I think i remember the quote being “Give the world back to the animals, they deserve it more than we do,” but of course they had to satan it up so people hated him more.

“send them all up to space”

“dude we can’t send them to space”

TWO trenchcoated figures appear in the background! We weren’t looking at Dylan and Eric the entire time! These inaccuracies weren’t actually inaccuracies. Thank you Dave. But they are. 

“look at these F AR T K N O CK ERS!!!”

alright, i’ll admit i lost my s h i t when he said that. Whhhhat? is that a slang for gay… because like, anal? Probably not. Probably a Christian censored version of ‘fag’ or something. So… it could be? I don’t know. It’s easier not to think about it….. they never said it…………………………………… they never said it….

“what’s up? F O U R E YE S” he pushes the trenchcoated chap into a table. 

He kinda just nudges him into the table, but he flies across the table, knocking everything over, breaking his spine and rendering him immobile for the rest of his life. Not really. But i’m sure Dave asked. By the way, yes, I’m sure Dave Cullen is involved with this movie. He can call me a dirtbag, but I know.

he gets up?

and falls to the ground, his trenchcoat goth friends dragging him away as Jock Stud over there kicks him. He has been rendered immobile for some reason. Everyone watches, amused. This always happens at 12:00. Same time every morning. It’s a spectacle.

come on bro, we gotta be gay somewhere else…. these heterosexuals don’t accept us.”

“YEAH GOOD JOB HELPING YOUR BUDDY OUT GUYS, GOOD TEAMWORK”

thanks, jock? is that even an insult? thanks for the motivation,

The jocks laugh in triumph, they have belittled another Goth. They’re so fucking cool, and they know it. There are many ways to wear a white hat, but they’re all wearing it at a 90 degree angle, pristine white like they soak them in bleach before they go to school, and backwards. 

they have this really long pan on this black kid. Eric’s face is wrinkled in distaste. I think this is the moment trying to signify that Eric is racist because he’s looking at the black bully distastefully. Alright, Christian Movie. Thanks for that.

Rachel giving the Lanza Stare™ to the Jocks. 

Who is this and why are him and Rachel making intimate eye contact? He looks like Dennis the Menace. Like who the fuck is this supposed to be. Also what shampoo does that other jock guy use? Damn

*wink*

What I’m assuming is he’s one of Rachel’s friends that is trying to relapse and recover from his Jock Asshole ways but he can’t seem to quit. Rachel reminds him and he feels shame.

Back to the Sin Table, Dylan looks expectantly at Eric as he continues peeling his fucking orange. He expects him to be like I DONT CARE WHAT YOU SAY IF YOU EVER TOUCH HIM AGAIN ILL FRICKIN KILL YOU ILL PULL OUT A GODDAMN SHOTGUN AND BLOW YOUR DAMN HEAD OFF DO YOU UNDERSTAND YOU LITTLE WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAAAAHP but no, sadly, because that is not Eric’s true colors. That is his mobster alter-ego, Reb.

He looks like a thirty year old christian youth leader that’s newly married with a baby on the way. But he looks angry also… i guess?? I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.

he violently bangs his apple on the table. Damn, does he want to bang someone from the Apple Table on the table?/?/????? Where does his violence end

ooh dam, it got a broose. Also he’s fucking shredded. Why.

-the scene fades to black-

Famous Romans as Dril Tweets
  • Livia: i pay good money to load my sons bag with treats, and if Erasmus Infowars Copfucker wants to devour them in the university library, so be it
  • Ovid: if youre one of the guys who blocked me on here, i Forgive you, and im ready for you to unblock me now.
  • Catullus: I TAKE BACK EVERY KIND THING I'VE SAID ABOUT THE GIRLS ON HERE ! SHALLOW AND CRUEL ! HEART LESS DEVILS ! MANIPULATING MY POSTS & TRICKING ME
  • The Gracchi Brothers: "FEAR IS USED 2 ENSLAVE THE MASSES," I SAID AS I RIPPED THE FUCKIN DECORATIVE CARDBOARD SKELETON OFF OF THE COMMUNITY CENTERS BULLETIN BOARD
  • Cicero: in the midst of jade helm 15 and high gas prices. a good boy looks to the stars and asks where have all the angels Gone ...............
  • Claudius: startling how im the only person on this site with an actual human soul. you would think the other guys on here have one, but no
  • Agrippina the Younger: "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit
  • Caligula: me: nobody has to get owned today. please, please put down the keyboard and step back 9 year old child: Fuck oyu
  • Julia Domna: measure to approve massive depressing statue in the center of town depicting an emaciated mayor carrying a boulder that says "My Sons" on it
  • Julius Caesar: dis charged from the army for doing memes too much
  • Augustus: blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin
  • Nero: the jduge orders me to take off my anonymous v mask & im wearing the joker makeup underneath it. everyone in the courtroom groans at my shit
  • Cornelia: THIngs other people like: being bastards, being Uniformly tasteless THINGS I Like: Being reasonably kind, and trying to help, when i can
  • Cato the Elder: ive never laughged at a piss joke. (sees how impressed everyone is, takes it one step further) in fact, ive never laughed before in my life.

how fucked up is it that cruella from 101 dalmatians had parents who essentially named her “cruel devil”??? like when she was born were they just like “wow we can just tell that this baby is gonna be a terrible human being so let’s make her name reflect that”

famous renaissance figures as dril tweets
  • julius ii: please bring your rats to the new castle flea market so that i may bless/heal them. ill be sitting in a lawn chair wearing a stolen priest outfit
  • savonarola: "horny" has killed more people than all the volcanoes on earth combined
  • cesare borgia: dis charged from the army for doing memes too much
  • giovanni sforza: I TAKE BACK EVERY KIND THING I'VE SAID ABOUT THE GIRLS ON HERE ! SHALLOW AND CRUEL ! HEART LESS DEVILS ! MANIPULATING MY POSTS & TRICKING ME
  • lorenzo de' medici: if youre one of the guys who blocked me on here, i Forgive you, and im ready for you to unblock me now.
  • dante alighieri: forced to remove my famous "DANGER: MAY CONTAIN LETHAL LEVELS OF SARCASM !!" sign from the front door of the poolside shed that i live in
  • cosimo de' medici: the first step to becoming a Millionare is to acquire one hundred dollars
  • pico della mirandola: if i saw someon e on the street wearing a dunce cap, i would challenge him to my famous Three Trials of Wisdom, and soundly defeat him
  • rodrigo borgia: i pay good money to load my son's bag with treats, and if Erasmus Infowars Copfucker wants to devour them in the library, so be it
  • caterina sforza: "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the Fourth of July into the Fourth of Shit
  • leonardo da vinci: at first i thought Science was a shit waste of time. then somebody did a meme of it,. and now... hooboy...now i like it
  • niccolo machiavelli:
  • MYTH my posts are for the Pauper
  • REALITY my posts are for the Prince
  • caravaggio: U cant wear a sword. A sword is not clothes. Yes, A SHeathe, is clothes. The sword goes in the sheath, but that doesnt make it clothes bitch
  • lucrezia borgia:
  • THERAPIST your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset.
  • ME I agree
  • petrarch: THIngs other people like: being bastards, being Uniformly tasteless THINGS I Like: Being reasonably kind, and trying to help, when i can
  • marsilio ficino: (bowed head solemnly rises from deep thought) Intellidgence is the strength of wisdom
Carlos de Vil

So I’ve recently gotten back into Disney’s Descendants, because I have very little self control and when something I like comes back to life I tend to make grabby hands as soon as humanly possible. And since I’ve “matured” in the past yearish since I’ve last really thought about it, I’ve develop some rather interesting headcanons/reinterpretations for Carlos de Vil. Specifically that his character from the movie, and the books, is completely off for me. Yeah, yeah, he’s a sweet sinnamon roll and blah blah blah. Sure he’s cute, but he’s also the son of Cruella de Vil, a woman so extra and so completely devoid of subtly her name is literally Cruel Devil and lives in a place called Hell House.

So you know where they went wrong? They didn’t make him a fucking diva. I mean, they already lost a golden opportunity not giving Ursula a fucking son, because you bet your ass he’d be a fucking queen and that would be the single ballsiest thing Disney could possibly do, but this is a close second. So grab a soda, get comfortable, and buckle up bitches.

Keep reading

great comet characters as dril tweets
  • Pierre: 12 year slave huh? sounds like my marriage. which I dont enjoy. to the degree that it is succinctly described by that particular movie title
  • Andrey: I TAKE BACK EVERY KIND THING I'VE SAID ABOUT THE GIRLS ON HERE ! SHALLOW AND CRUEL ! HEART LESS DEVILS ! MANIPULATING MY POSTS & TRICKING ME
  • Natasha: beginning to despise my friends and loved ones for pushing valuable branded content off of my feed as I struggle to comprehend this world
  • Sonya: THIngs other people like: being bastards, being Uniformly tasteless THINGS I Like: Being reasonably kind, and trying to help, when i can
  • Marya: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT
  • Anatole: every now and then I like to treat myself to a bit of “Lying under oath”
  • Helene: cornering a janitor for 50 minutes to tell him how i was once involved in a polyamourious relationship w/ the guy who said "lee roy jenkins"
  • Dolokhov: i feel like getting shot would;nt be that bad if you knew how to properly "body spin " away from the bullet or slap it away with your hand
  • Mary: i help every body, im not racist, i keep myself nice, and when i ask for a single re-tweet in return i am told to fuck off, fuck myself, etc
  • Bolkonsky: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying
  • Balaga: “jail isnt real,” I assure myself as I close my eyes and ram the hallmark gift shop with my shitty bronco
9

Some of the fantasy books that I’m currently lusting over(=books I want to buy but can’t until I’ve read all of the other books I’ve already bought).

You’re My Better Half

1. can u do a changki fic, established relationship, with changkyun feeling insecure, because he thinks hes not good enough for kihyun? i ship changki so much, omg i love them dhhdh

2. mafia au with changki? pls <3

Note: ah, this was such cringe, so fluffy. I’m srry for combining requests, but I thought this might go well together? I live for Changki (I’ve been named by some wonho-ful followers as the mother of Changki. I am also trash) if you’re interesting seeing more of this pair you can check out my other fics on my Monsta X Masterlist

Disclaimer: I don’t own the gifs/ images used. 

Monsta X Masterlist ~ Main Masterlist

Originally posted by wonhontology

Originally posted by wonhontology

Changkyun felt himself tense under Kihyun’s stare. It was cold, and judging. Changkyun was half reconsidering his decision to come to the shooting range when he knew Changkyun would be lurking on his day off duty now anxiety was coursing his veins.

He’d been officially Kihyun’s for months - but with such emotions stirring in his stomach, you wouldn’t have thought that was the case.

When it comes to their relationship, Kihyun is a very different person. So faint with touches, so gentle and caring. But when it comes to his mafia job and lifestyle, he can be as blank as a poker face, eyes as cold and solid as ice glaciers. He can be cruel, hands like the devil as he catches his enemies under a forceful, iron grip.

Changkyun had been in the mafia since his younger days, but being with Kihyun had given him the biggest strain he’d ever experienced in his lifetime, and he’d been to hell and back in some cases. It was Kihyun that made him feel so insecure, so weak.

Everyone knows falling in love is like selling your soul to the devil in the mafia life. It’s putting your sanity on the line. When people know you have something to lose, they’ll target it like their life depends on it, because it’s more satisfying to torture a person than to kill them. In the sick eye of the demon, watching someone crumple and break to nothing is beautiful, and simply thinking of losing Kihyun is enough to turn Changkyun into a childish weeping mess.

If he were to let Kihyun slip through his fingers he’d never forgive himself.

If he were to lose Kihyun, his life would be next to meaningless.

“You’re tense.” Kihyun’s tone approached, clearly observing Changkyun’s every move and trying to denote his thoughts.

Changkyun pulled the trigger, startled, missing his target by a long stretch. He lowered his arm, barely looking at Kihyun in the eye as he shuffled his feet.

“Why do you look like that? Is something wrong?” Kihyun asked, he sounded much softer this time, placing his hand on Changkyun’s shoulder, but moving it away again when he felt the tensing muscles under his touch.

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

It was clear something was wrong, and Kihyun knew it. “Do I look like a fool? Tell me.”

“I said I’m fine.” Changkyun attempted to sound convincing, but the snappiness of his tone contradicted that completely.

“And I’m saying you’re not. So give up and tell me.” Kihyun stubbornly insisted, folding his arms over his chest.

Changkyun looked at him, feeling captivated under his thickly black lined eyes. It was hard to resist Kihyun when he looked so fucking irresistible. Hair pink and vibrant, tight leather jackets and jeans that lay dangerously low on his hips.

“I just feel…” he trailed off, trying to look away, but stopping when Kihyun cupped his cheeks in his hands.

“Just tell me, Changkyun. I’m here for you. How do you feel?”  

“Insecure” Changkyun sighed, “I feel Insecure, I feel anxious, I feel like the world is against us and one day… what if I can’t save you?”

Kihyun chuckled, not meanly or harshly, it was comforting, in a strange kind of way. “You? Protect me? Babe, we all know I’m the one saving your sorry ass.” He teased, stroking Changkyun’s cheek with his thumb.

“I know, that’s what scares me. You’re the one protecting me. I’m useless.”

“Hey!” Kihyun suddenly snapped, his joking face vanishing in a second. “Don’t you dare ever say anything like that. You’re not useless, you’re everything to me.”

“Yes! And you’re everything to me, and if you die, I am nothing!” Changkyun pushed Kihyun’s hands off his cheeks, feeling his eyes became tearful. He heated it, hated how he was so emotional, hated how much he loved Kihyun. He knew things would be easier if he was alone, less fulfilling, but there was less chance of harm coming to the one person he truly cares about.

“And you don’t think I worry about you too?” Kihyun asked him, regaining composure. He looked frustrated, yes, but not angry any more.

Changkyun looked at him, “well… yeah.”

“Then you’re not alone, right? We both feel the same way, there’s no need to be insecure.” Kihyun reassures him, placing his hands on Changkyun’s hips this time, pulling him close. “Besides, I have too much to fight for, you’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

He was grinning again, and it was almost like magic, washing away Changkyun’s terror in a enchanting glisten.

“You’re right.”

“Of course I’m right. I’m always right.” Kihyun winked, “That’s why we go so well together, because you’re always wrong, and I’m always right.”

“Yeah, as if” Changkyun scoffed playfully.

“I’m right to put up with your pitiful ass, aren’t I?”

“I suppose so.”

“Come here you idiot.”

Kihyun pulled him into a hug, washing away his worries.

It shows that even the toughest of men have their weaknesses, but with love at their side, it makes everything just that little bit more easy to cope with.

  • Charming: So, just to recap, Regina, our first threat, was the one who cast the curse and she came here with it. Pretty much unavoidable.
  • Emma: Yup.
  • Charming: Then, Hook and Cora got in via magic pirate ship.
  • Emma: Right.
  • Charming: And, even before that, Ingrid got the help of The Apprentice and a magic scroll.
  • Emma: Uh-huh.
  • Charming: And now we're letting *Cruella DeVil* and *Ursula* just waltz in through the front door?
  • Emma: Do you have a point here or...?
  • Charming: I just want this conversation on record a week from now when there's a sudden rash of dog thefts and we're running from killer squid.