Hi! Since you’re an empath I was hoping you’d have some advice for me. I’m an empath and I’ve been struggling lately with a lot of fear/paranoia and I realized today it’s because I’m afraid of other people’s anger, especially coming from men. I realize you might not have experience with this but I’m tired of feeling scared and hiding because I’m so afraid of potential emotions. Any advice/reassurance you can offer would be really appreciated
Hi, there! First off, I can absolutely relate to those feelings as I experience them quite a bit myself. I’m so sorry that you struggle with the same thing and I can totally empathize with your situation and how hard it is to deal with.
I think a lot of the fear and paranoia about potentially angering others stems from an empath’s deep desire to uplift and assist those who need help. Anger is a complicated emotion that is usually expressed when there are underlying issues such as fear, guilt, regret, and shame. Anger can be felt by an empath on all it’s complicated levels. We’re not just dealing with the surface issue of frustration and rage that are often conveyed; we are literally feeling all of the various emotions that caused said anger and that can be quite overwhelming and draining, not to mention downright scary at times. I know for me personally that I will take on other’s emotions as they are feeling them and this can make me feel absolutely horrible if I’m not careful.
There is also the aspect of abuse. I was abused quite severely as a child, adolescent, and for some of my early adulthood. This has made me even more afraid of angering others (particularly males) because I fear the consequences and if their anger will somehow threaten my safety. The last thing I want to do is make assumptions about your life and where you are coming from, but if abuse was ever a factor, this could definitely contribute to some of the fear and paranoia you are experiencing. If that is the case, I urge you to seek counsel with a mental health professional if you haven’t done so already. I know for me personally that working with a good therapist has helped me develop coping skills that help when dealing with complicated emotions and confrontation with other people.
If you’re already working with a therapist and/or that isn’t an issue for you, I would suggest wearing a crystal talisman whenever you are going to be around other people. You can program it to act as a buffer to absorb any negativity that you might encounter on a day to day basis. I have an obsidian crow skull pendant that I use for that exact purpose. I wear it with the intent to protect, shield, and absorb any negative emotions thrown my way. I am very careful to cleanse it daily (it spends the night in himalayan salt) so that none of the negative energy it absorbs is transferred to me or others.
You can also visualize a protective forcefield around yourself. Some people like to picture a bubble of mirrors surrounding them to deflect negative energy away. I like to visualize an iridescent bubble around me with the intent to transmute any negative energy thrown my way into positive and loving vibrations. This can be very helpful when used in some combination with a protective talisman.
The last thing I’m going to suggest isn’t much of a solution, but more about honoring yourself and your emotions. If you feel unsafe around certain people and worry about angering them, perhaps do a little emotional digging and try and figure out why you feel unsettled around those people. If they are someone that is toxic and you often feel drained and on edge when around them, you might want to consider eliminating them from your life if at all possible. I know this is difficult when it comes to family situations, but it’s important to put your safety above all else. If it’s family members that you’re stuck with, do your best to set boundaries of when you will engage. If it’s not someone you’re directly forced to interact with, then be selective about when you do and make sure it’s always on your terms. You don’t have to give your time and energy to anybody you don’t want to, especially if they make you feel unsafe.
I’m going to be making some more posts about empathy and empaths in the near future once things settle down in my personal life. Look out for those, but in the meantime if you ever need support or more suggestions on how to cope with this stuff, please feel free to reach out and I will do my best to assist you.
I hope things improve for you, Anon! Have a fantastic day!!