anonymous asked:

it kinda rubs me the wrong way when ppl only headcanon like "smart" ppl as ace. Like I've seen ppl headcanon spock and sheldon from big bang theory as ace and like ??? idk just bc theyre intelligent doesnt mean they are ace? i dont know how to articulate this

There’s definitely a weird idea that intelligent people being “above” sex or love, like they know better than the rest of us, which is strange and extremely dehumanizing and also just like… gross? To imply that love/sex are too primitive for them and that to give in to these ~instincts is lesser or some shit is just gross. I don’t really know how else to say it.

And I think there’s sort of this really bad complement to this which is the sex/loved-crazed “bimbo” that goes alongside it in fandom? Like, I see it all the time in ace circles, where “lmao dumb allos just can’t help wanting sex” or “all these idiots giving up everything for a romantic partner” and it’s just a REALLY gross trend. Luckily, I’m seeing less of it but imo the “smart people are better than love and sex” trend is intricately tied to ableism and some weird ass superiority complex.

These things definitely also touch on the trend of headcanoning characters that can be read as autistic (like Spock and Sheldon often are) as aro and/or ace. I won’t speak at length about that seeing as I’m not autistic but I’ve seen various autistic people in and out of the discourse mention how discomforting it is to see people infantilize and desexualize any person who potentially has autism.

IMO, the trends in ace headcanons are often extremely concerning. More often than not, they reaffirm already existing prejudices/stereotypes about certain groups held by society rather than challenge them. I’m not saying all of your headcanons have to have ~radical and ~different but there’s a real issue if you’re just replicating the norms that actively hurt people without thinking about it critically.

I just woke up from a dream where I lost an engagement ring in the ocean and then actually dove underwater to chase a crab that picked it up. The crab led me into this series of corals and then there was a blinding light and when I looked down at my hand, the ring was back but had extra diamonds and pearls in it.