cross spring

dghda characters (a summary)

dork: sunshine child; actual purest being in the universe; will kill you with a kitten; made a hobbit cry once

frodo: smol & angry; not your watson, asshole!; (is actually totally your watson); karma is a holistic bitch

pharaoh: thou shalt worship her badassery; could probably kill you with her bra; her hair is its own character

a-man-duh: actually not a man; has four vampire boyfriends (suck on that, bella!); almost beat on a swat team with a pipe wrench once

fart: what is personal hygiene; is like a leaf in the stream of creation; until she’s a piranha… in the stream of creation; totally digs barbie and the backstreet boys

barbie: doesn’t care who you are; where you’re from; what you did; as long as you don’t hurt him

mehstevez: didn’t sign up for this shit; lost his shit; fuck this shit; this is some good shit; shit!

hans zimmerfield: actually not a composer or musician of any kind; he does get played by a bow and a string though; *runs away*

numerically challenged 3: there are five of them

patrick star: horrible pet-owner; horrible time-traveller; horrible father; accidentally kills himself with a kitten

gordon rimjob: he just wanted his dog back

mislead-ia spring: bork