cross exam

natalie-j-cross  asked:

Just wondering, how do you manage to stay motivated? I always struggle to do so. Thanks!

Honestly speaking, I really struggled with staying motivated in my final two years at uni. Basically, this gif was an accurate representation of how I felt up until graduation: 

[assuming that I got out of bed at all. tbh. you can track some of it here.] 

Here’s a few things that helped me stay somewhat motivated aka: 

“mate, teach me how to give a shit about my studies”

1. Start small. 

Sometimes, its just a matter of momentum. Start with a small task for the day. Something that can be completed in 10-20 minutes. Knock off the easiest things on your list of things to do. That way, even if your arvo falls into an endless pit of procrastination, you’

2. Target your study method.

I think one of the strongest demotivators was studying for long hours and then failing to get the results I wanted. On my lowest days my thought process would be something along the lines of, “what’s the point of studying this - heck, I’ll just do as poorly as last time.” 

The only way to get over that was to target my study for the examination at hand. I saved a lot of time whilst achieving decent grades. Two birds, one stone.  

3. Shake things up 

Study the same shit but in a different way. Whether that be writing notecards, finding videos online, group study, drawing up some mindmaps, screaming it at the mirror. 

4. Look for inspirational shit 

Whether it be something related to your field of study or not. It might be as simple as going on a youtube spiral on an aspect of your field of study, or finding an aspirational figure. 

If you’re the type that responds to motivational quotes - great! Print out great A3 sizes of motivational quotes and plaster them all over your study space. 

Personally, I respond better to the the dry humour sarcastic motivation. In that respect, #reallawblr and @lawschoolruinedme were very much my sources of inspiration. 

TL;DR find what inspires you. 

5. Fuck it all 

Look, sometimes you need a break from studying in order to get back into studying. Kinda like those long term old-couple relationships you see in tv soap operas where the biggest plot point of the season is “oh, I’m so bored of my long term partner, how will I ever keep this relationship alive!” (bad analogy, but i feel like this is a good time to admit that I’m running on 2 hours sleep here).  

Remind yourself of who you are outside of your school/university life. You are much much more than the sum of your academic achievements.

….to be frank, I found that I needed to take a small break from studying in order to be motivated ‘to’ study. That includes pursuing interests outside my academic life - catching up with friends, tv shows, heck even doing physical exercise.

Heck, you might even find a new hobby! I got into hockey due to a procrastination spiral. 4 months on and I’m a frickin’ hockey nerd. And i live in Australia, where there’s hardly any ice/snow to speak of. 

And that may mean stop trying so hard to find motivation. Because that may be exhausting. While I know many people turn to studyblr as a source of motivation, I’ll admit there was a long period where I just had to avoid studyblr. Because it was draining to come home to posts about pens/study/stationery/TIPSFORA4.0GPA or whatever. After a 10 hour stint of study, the last thing I wanted to do was to spend my free time talking about studying lmfao. 

My ramblings aside, here’s a list of ‘targeted’ tips that may help with those motivation levels!! 

All the best hun! 

anonymous asked:

rosvolio + jealousy

Escalus takes another swig of his drink, though he lost count of the number of times his cup got filled. This late into the evening, even his sister left his side, mingling with other members of the court; discussing, heads bended close and pearly smiles flashing, with ambassadors that bring more smiles onto her face than he did since he became prince.

His eyes, though, more often than not, are trained on where Rosaline sits. Her posture changed as the night went on, her back relaxing into Benvolio’s arm, her cautious stance exchanged for one of just mild, confident hostility. At the beginning, lots of curious lords and ladies have crowded their table, have checked the betrotheds’ smiles for falseness, have picked at each of their gestures.

But Escalus does not, cannot, understand where this charade starts or where it ends, if there is one to talk about in the first place. It’s easy to ignore the reality of a marriage when he fights off the wrath of the whole Europe, but with the candles slowly melting down, the minstrels playing in the background and no bigger, stronger Isabella at his side to remind him of the fair Verona, he can think of nothing else but fair Rosaline.

Keep reading

a masterpost;

poly! headcanons :

poly! hamilsquad

Keep reading


based of a scene in steven universe
i was rushed lol
bcuz fking exams

Geno and Error by @loverofpiggies
Cross by @jakei95
Goth by @nekophy
Palette by @angexci

Love Confession Headcanons

Originally a prompt from @thesherlokidwhovian, who was kind enough to help me out after I buggered up the reply. ;) All of the Cup Noodles for you, hun!

(。’▽’。)♡  Noct Reacting to Prompto  

Noctis would probably react with a little bit of shock and modicum of hesitation, at first anyway.

I mean, even if he’d thought about this exact moment a thousand times before, in a thousand different ways, he would still want to make sure it wasn’t just in his head- some throwaway comment that he’d heard the way he’d wanted to instead of what had been intended.

Love the lighting! Aw, man, I love these kebabs- love this song! Love you, man.

How many times had he caught himself just staring without realizing it at the back of Prompto’s head in class, just watching how his friend would absently chew the end of his pencil as their teacher droned on about the economic climate?

How many times had his heart done that weird flip-floppy thing in his chest when he’d see Prompto meander over to his locker after gym, still sort of insecure about getting changed in front of the other boys?

How about those times their hands accidentally brushed at the arcade, and Noctis could feel himself instinctively curl his fingers before they each pulled away? Or when the two of them were wedged in together, a sloppy, giggling mess in the back seat of the car after a night out partying… hell, even just walking side-by-side through a crowded Lestallum marketplace at twilight when the air was rich with spices and the kind of heat that felt made you wanna-

Yeah, he would have to be sure. Which meant a little bit of wide-eyed, mouth-hanging-open wonder, and a whole lot of breathless pause. Poor Prompto would have to, you know…“Uh…say that again?” before Noct would allow himself to hear it, really hear it. And damn, if he wouldn’t almost miss it for how his heart pounds in his ears.

And then, with it just hanging there between them, enticingly magnetic and terrifyingly unfamiliar by turns, Noct would find himself unable to contain his smile. It would just stretch across his face, taking fine features wholly hostage into the most embarrassing grin until Prompto would start to wonder if he’d really messed up.

Except the most shocking thing about it- the big, toothy grin and the way he’d then quickly cross that crackling- fucking electric- space between them to just grab Prompto, his Prompto, and pull him in close… would be the fact that it felt like some sort of homecoming. Like finding a favourite, forgotten sweater in the back of your closet and finding out it still feels really good on.  

Hell yeah, he loves him too. He could tell him at last, finally trying the actual words on for size. Turns out that too is a perfect fit.

(。’▽’。)♡  Prompto Reacting to Noctis 

Prompto would definitely have to struggle with his own daemons when it comes to this. He would be at once eager- desperate even- to hear this, feel this, for himself, and at the same time… there’s always this nagging feeling like he just doesn’t deserve it. Not him. Especially not from-

But with Noct just…coming right out and saying this, just looking into him with his stupid-pretty eyes and being all… there… with his gods-damned ‘touch me’ bone structure and perfect lips… Prompto would be at a loss to respond with anything more than an awkward giggling sound at first. He’d go against his very nature in avoiding the prince’s gaze save for a few quick peeks beneath sandy, downcast lashes.

He might even try to self-sabotage, achingly laughing as he offers back a “Yeah, me too, man!” and a casual slap to Noctis’ shoulder, because he’s Prompto, and how could he just accept that something he’s wanted so badly, in the depths of his darkest nights alone in his room, his life, is being offered up so easily in Noct’s captivating, velvety timbre?

He’d want to cry. He’d fight so fucking hard not to cry, but tears would be there, ready to roll in warm, fat droplets down his freckled cheeks.

He’d be 12 again, suddenly, working so hard every day just to make himself just a little bit better, at least on the outside, so that maybe- if he was really, really careful- he could be someone worth hanging around. A friend, to a prince who really needed one.

He’d be 15, sitting in Noct’s room on the last day of exams, cross-legged on the floor and strangely at home as Noct curses and sifts through the piles of empty water bottles and dirty socks. There’s this one hoodie he’d left there a couple months back, and they’re pretty sure it made its way into Noct’s closet.

He’d be 19, red-cheeked and sticky-hot as they spill out onto the street, a mess of limbs amidst too many stares, still somewhat bouncing around in their ridiculous lack of rhythm without a care in the world. Except for this one, not-so-little thing.

Just one more selfie together, c’moooon!

He’d be…fuck. We’re talking sappy song-lyrics and cheesy movie-monologues here- for his best friend. But I mean…it’s Noct. It’s them, right?

“No…Prom. I mean it.”

The truth of it hangs heavy in the air, heavy in his chest, and it’s achingly present in those oh-so-blue eyes of Noct’s.

And all of a sudden it’d be all Prompto can do not to send them both tumbling backward as he slings his arms around Noctis- arms that are still lacking in tone, but he can’t even care because they’re actually just right for locking around this one person’s neck. Pulling them both into this amazing closeness he never really allowed himself to crave. 

And his face is wet, and he’s laughing again, but the words are there, ready on the tip of his tongue, even as he’s seeking out Noct’s lips with his own.

Noct…I’ve always loved you. And he always had.

My story is a bit different than most, in that it has a relatively happy ending. 

In October 2015, when I was 15 years old, I was raped. Orally raped, technically, but given that rape is any form of nonconsensual penetration, I don’t feel that I owe specific details to anyone. So I just say I was raped, because really, it doesn’t make a difference where my body was violated. 

It happened at a church youth group. I had been going for about 2 years, since I was in the 7th or 8th grade (I was a sophomore in HS at the time of the assault). That’s where I met Jackson. I never paid him much attention; he was a run-of-the-mill jock who always caused trouble but never did anything bad

In March 2015, at a youth group outing, we started flirting. I thought I had a “crush” on him. About a month later, he asked for my number. When he spelled his name in my phone, he wrote Jaxson, which I thought was badass and intriguing. I was excited that a popular football player was paying attention to me. 

We didn’t really talk after that until a night in May when he texted me out of the blue. He told me that he had always thought I was pretty, and he’d wanted to tell me before, but he’d bailed out. He asked me if I had ever hooked up with someone. When I told him I hadn’t, he asked me if I’d want to hook up with him, or if I “wasn’t like that”. I said “sure” and we made plans to meet in a park the next day. 

May 4, 2015. I met him in the park. We made out. He wanted to go further; I said no. He would stop (trying to grope and finger me) when I said no, but he would start up again less than a minute later. He was like an octopus - his hands where always somewhere, and the second I would pull one out, another one would go in somewhere else. This being my first sexual interaction ever, I had no idea that this wasn’t okay. Besides, it’s not like he forced me. He was just so into me that he couldn’t control himself, I told myself. He’s just a teenage boy. He really wanted me.  

Later I found out he had hooked up with 4 other girls (my best friend’s friends) that same week. We all made a group chat to gossip about him and kind of cut him off. 

October 25, 2015. I went to youth group that Sunday. I was never very religious, but my mom made me go, and since it wasn’t a very religious group anyways, I didn’t mind. Jaxson was there, and it was only the second time since I’d seen him since May. We went to go get pizza. Everyone piled into the car - I was on the left in the back seat; he was in the middle, and the youth group leader drove us. On the way back to the youth group center, he started touching my leg. Soon he was prying my legs open and trying to finger me - in a car full of people. I was shocked and terrified, but I didn’t say a word, for fear that someone would notice. 

When we arrived back at the youth group, Jaxson told me to meet him in the bathroom. The center used to be a priest’s house, so the bathroom was a house bathroom - co-ed, that is. I complied, thinking we’d maybe kiss, which I was fine with doing. 

When I got to the bathroom, Jaxson told me to go wash my hands. I did. When I came out, he was standing in the doorway with his pants down. He told me to “blow him”. I said no, not right now, not like this, I don’t want to, maybe later, I’m not sure, there’s not enough time, people are going to come. I was scared. Once I realized that he wouldn’t take no for an answer, I started doing what he said. About 5 seconds into it, I tried to stop, and that’s when it happened. He pushed my head down forcefully with his hands, making me choke and gag. I couldn’t breathe. I was trying to pull away, but every time I tried, be pushed my head down harder and said “don’t stop” and “keep going”. I held my breath and willed myself to not pass out. I don’t know why I didn’t bite down - I froze. Finally he finished, and I got up and left, without a word. 

November 22, 2015. My dad drove me to the local police station at 10 pm. I was ready to report; after spending a month consulting friends and online resources, I had decided that what happened to me was, indeed, assault. I had no idea how terribly sexual assault cases are handled in the justice system, and if I had known, I would likely not have reported. I am so, so very glad that I did. I met with a female detective and a two hour long interview. She was so kind and I felt incredibly safe. At one point she asked me what I was wearing, but she prefaced it by telling me that it really didn’t matter, and it was only protocol. 

Two days later I came back to do a pretext phone call (recorded call) with Jackson, where the police got a recorded confession from him saying that yes, I had said no, and yes, he had ignored me, and “fuck, sorry”. 

Months went by. I called the police officer to check back in. She directed me to probation. I started getting generic letters from the courts saying that my case had an official case number now. 

July 2016. I received notice that my case had been taken up by a prosecutor in juvenile court! My DA became my idol. She was young, friendly, she listened to me, and she was dedicated to my case. I attended every hearing between then and November. 

On November 17, the case was set to close. Jackson had been charged with two felonies - oral copulation with a minor, and oral copulation by force or fear. He was going to plea to the first count, which was a lesser charge that could be sealed from his record when he turned 18 (a year from now). I had expressed my displeasure of this outcome to the DA prior, but she reminded me that juvenile court was intended for rehabilitation an not punishment, so a plea was totally acceptable. 

So on November 17, I showed up to court ready for the case to close. Instead, the DA informed me that things had changed, and another girl had reported him for rape. The DA felt that unless he was punished, Jaxson would do this again, and she wanted to take the case to trial to get a sex offense on his permanent record. 

I cried when she told me. This was such a blessing. Not that he had assaulted someone else, but that now there was a chance at justice. 

The case went to trial in mid December, right during finals week. I enjoyed the direct exam quite a bit, actually. Cross exam went pretty badly, but I did well. At one point, I answered a question in a way that shifted the blame right back on to Jackson, and it stunned the defense attorney into silence for a moment. Good

Jackson cried during the trial, which made me happy. During multiple occasions, I made eye contact with him and his mother. 

So anyways, Jackson was found guilty of one felony count of oral copulation by force or fear. California law deems that a 707(b) felony offense, which means that even though it’s in juvenile court, the offense is so serious that it stays on his permanent record. Other examples of 707(b) offenses are arsony and murder. That made me feel validated, that my assault really was that bad. 

During sentencing, I read an 11 page long victim impact statement. I grilled Jackson. I grilled the defense attorney. I grilled his parents. It was so fucking powerful. I had been warned in advance that this judge was incredibly unsympathetic to victims and would likely try to cut me off, but she didn’t, not even once. 

My statement made the DA choke up. It made Jackson put his head between his knees in shame. It compelled the Judge to admonish him for 15 minutes after I was done. The DA later told me that in her entire time working with this judge, never once had she seen her admonish a juvenile during sentencing. Not once. One line that the judge said to Jackson that really stood out to me was “Young man, this type of behavior is not going to be tolerated. Not now, not in the “real world”. If you are still doing this by the time you get to college, you will be back here.“

He only got probation and sex offender counseling, but it is still on his permanent record. That’s not enough for me, but it’s more than I ever expected. 

So here I am, a year later. How am I doing? Depends on the day. Sometimes the flashbacks torment me and eat me alive. Sometimes I am doing just fine. But there hasn’t been a single day, with the exception of one, where I haven’t thought about it.

The thing is, if I had the chance to go back and undo my assault, I would not. As horrible as it was, I feel that it has made me a better, braver, fiercer, stronger person. Because of the assault, I am now an activist. Because of the assault, I now know that I want to become a district attorney, and pursue justice for people like me. 

Sorry for the rant. That’s my story I guess. There’s no real ending because it’s still in progress.