werewolfzero inquired:Space cop AU or Sid is older than Geno AU
1. Sidney Crosby must be the most polite criminal Zhenya has ever met. He’s not even a particularly good criminal, considering. He’s never violent, never causes millions in property damages like those fucking Blackhawks, he only steals from the rich, and he doesn’t lie. Ever. Zhenya’s not sure he even can (he’s seen the flushed, stuttering mess Crosby becomes when he tries to remember his cover stories. It’s not at all attractive. Not even a little bit).
someone asked me to explain the world cup of hockey so here goes
SO *cracks knuckles* let me take you back to sochi 2014, when the NHL
threw a giant fit over who was responsible for paying for insurance for
their players to participate in the olympics (hint: they wanted it not
to be them) as well as the fact that
“their” stars participate but another organization makes all the money.
international pride and unity blah blah blah where’s the dough. since
then they’ve threatened not attending pyeongchang in 2018 (lol okay),
and have created their very own WORLD CUP OF HOCKEY, which i will never
call world cup because NICE TRY, HOCKEY, BUT NO.
basically this is their
first attempt at creating an “olympics” but one that they own (and
thus, one that creates money for them). to the nhl’s eyes, it’s a global
hockey championship that pits hockey’s greatest stars against each
other in an exciting contest to see “who really owns hockey” (no I’m not
kidding that’s one of their slogans, how gross is that). in reality,
it’s really like a bunch of exhibition games prior to the season with
players in vague (yet menacing) groupings, missing a bunch of stars who
(understandably) want to use this time to heal up so they’re ready to
start the season.
ANYWAY, THE TEAMS: -Team Some Of Canada: Canadian superstars aged 24+. the usual crew. crosby. giroux. corey perry (sigh). -Team Some of America: American superstars aged 24+. -Team
Young Guns (aka Team North America): Canadian and American superstars
(or pupa superstars, at least) aged 23 and under. the kids. the youths.
the ankle-biters. featuring connor mcdavid and jack eichel, working
together to save planet earth. will they find victory? will they find
international unity? will they find… love? -Team Russia: the usual suspects plus a bunch of KHLers because why not -Team Sweden: led by your favourite redheaded west-coast duo -Team Finland: self-explanatory -Team Czech Republic: does not contain Jaromir Jagr because god isn’t real -Team
Some Of Europe: superstars from every european country not listed
above. yes, you heard me. TEAM SOME OF EUROPE. look, nobody wants to see
moldova lose 19-0 but you expect us to take this seriously with TEAM
SOME OF EUROPE!?!?!?!
Thus far it’s (actually) been
pretty entertaining, if by “it” you mean the Young Guns, who have
something to prove and are so fast they broke both the sound barrier and
zdeno chara’s ankles.
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