croquet-balls

SOme lego batman hcs!

-joker and robin do a cute magic show/circus act together for bruce and try to make him smile, whoever makes him smile first wins. they both wind up winning in the end when joker does a card trick and coughs up a card that isnt even the card robin picked and he spent a good ten minutes coughing up various cards before realizing he never asked for robins card back. they’re very good at magic shows.

-whenever bruce says hes proud of robin, the kid genuinely tears up and gets really emotional, usually resulting in hugs and a trip to get ice cream in the batmobile.

-barbra insists on helping cook dinner a lot and alfred really appreciates the help, even if he insists that he doesnt need it. alfred refuses to ask for help when he needs it, taking after bruce in that aspect. once everyone else moves in they all help him out a lot and he feels very loved from it.

-alfred and robin play croquet together every saturday morning, while bruce is asleep. one day bruce walks out and sees them and they all play a game together that ends in bruce grabbing the croquet ball and hurling it into the ocean.

-robin can speak spanish and french roughly. alfred teaches him french a bit more fluently and they have conversations together, much to the bewilderment of everyone around them. usually they just make jokes about the others.

-barbra and bruce teach robin some hand to hand combat skills and robin picks them up very quickly, often accidentally winning fights a bit more roughly than expected. he always feels bad when he hurts the others, even if they say its okay. hes surprisingly powerful for his size

-robin and bruce make little mixtapes together and keep them in the batmobile at all times. once joker accidentally locked himself in the batmobile and listened to all of them, much to  bruce’s embarrassment.

-even though joker knows that bruce wayne is batman, he likes to pretend theyre different people so his fun isnt spoiled with bruce’s pretty and delicate image. but that doesnt mean he wont mess with bruce wayne a little along the way

-harley, pamela (poison ivy), and selina (catwoman) are in a poly relationship and whenever joker is having boy troubles (thinking about batman) they all have a girls night and hang out and paint eachothers nails and stuff. he’s, in ivys words, like the sister they never asked for but got anyway and love regardless.

-joker picks robin up from school one day and sees some kids picking on him. he tells bruce about it and bruce seems upset but takes a deep breath and decides to let him deal with it himself and see how it goes. when he picks him up again they keep doing it, mostly one kid in particular. robin is too anxious to fight back.  joker makes the executive decision to drive to the kids house and show robin how to stand up for himself. robin winds up breaking his nose. joker is unspeakably proud. so is everyone else.

sweetragdoll  asked:

In honor of Thomas Sanders, the man who introduced me to Heathers, JD gives Veronica a Misleading Compliment.

Awesome! I hope this was a request, the wording was a little confusing to me, I’m a terrible reader. i should get that out right now. Things swim around and stuff, that’s why I write! Because it’s less confusing to me! Is he a friend of yours? Tell him I wrote this for you guys! Enjoy!


JD gave Veronica a kiss before running out, leaving her in the yard with the Heathers. “What do you think that meant?” Veronica asked, turning to look at her friends. Heather shrugged and balanced the croquet mallet on her shoulder. The girls have stopped playing and started gossiping at this point.

“What?” Heather asked.

“Well, JD told me I make him crazy.” Veronica turned around.

“Aw! That’s cute!” Mac smiled. “He really loves you, Ronnie.” She grinned, running over to give her friend a hug. Duke shook her head and hit the croquet ball before walking over and pushing Mac out of the way.

“No way, that was an insult, Veronica.” She told the girl. “He’s getting sick of you.”

“Shut up, Heather!” Heather yelled at her. “JD isn’t getting sick of you, Ronnie. But you probably did something to made him upset.” She explained.

“He wasn’t acting upset. He seemed really happy just now.” Veronica recalled.

“Guys it wasn’t an insult.” Mac tried to chime in.
“Shut up, Heather!” Heather called at her. “I know what I’m talking about. Trust me, I get mad at people all the time. And he’s definitely mad at you.” She assured. “If he wasn’t you wouldn’t be making him crazy.”

“You’re making him crazy because he’s CRAZY!” Duke cried. “JD is problem child. I don’t know why you hang around with him. He lives in your basement wearing that black trench coat. He looks like the phantom of the opera but with an attractive face.” She complained, but then shook her head. “I gotta hand it to you Ronnie. I don’t like him but JD is pretty cute.”

“You guys promised me you’d try to get along with JD.” Veronica reminded. The two Heathers made a bit of a face and then Mac tried to cut in yet again.

“Guys! JD isn’t mad at her!” She exclaimed.

“Shut up, Heather!” Heather yelled.

“Shut up, Heather!” Veronica snapped. “Let her talk.” She crossed her arms and Heather threw her hands up, shaking her head. “Go on, Mac.”

“Ronnie, JD isn’t mad at you, and he’s not upset. Did he seem upset?” She asked.

“No, he seemed super happy with me.” Veronica explained.

“Yeah, he is. That’s why you make him crazy.” Mac continued. “He’s crazy in love with you!” She grinned, beaming. “JD loves you, and that’s what makes him crazy. It’s a good kind of crazy and he loves it and he loves you. Don’t ever doubt that.” She promised. Veronica and the other Heathers stared at Mac for a long time. Like they didn’t expect all of this. Finally Veronica broke out in laughter. “What’s so funny, Ronnie?” Mac asked.

“You know, you’re really wise.” Veronica told her. Heather Duke gave a confused look and Veronica dismissed her. “No seriously, you are. You’re a lot smarted and sweeter than people give you credit for. Thanks Mac. How did you know all that?” She asked.

“JD told me.” She explained.

“He told you?” Veronica asked.

“Oh yeah, JD tells me everything.” Mac said casually. The three other girls gave Mac a confused look.

“Why?” Heather asked, shaking her head.

“Cause Ronnie wanted us to get along! Because we both love her, we thought it was important. So we make it a thing to go get coffee every sunday. We talk about the week. We’re coffee buddies, coffee buddies tell each other everything.” Mac explained. “He talks a lot about you, Veronica.” She giggled. Veronica blushed and looked away.

“Th-thanks, Mac.” Veronica laughed. “You two really hang out with each other every week?” She asked. Mac nodded. “Just because I wanted you guys to? You didn’t like each other just a month ago. But you guys went out to coffee every week with somebody you hated? Why?” She asked, giggling a tiny bit.

“Because we love you!” She grinned, hugging Veronica. “And you were right! We’re friends now! At least that’s what he told me. He’s really happy to do things that make you happy, and he says I’m nice to talk to. He also likes my stories.” She continued. Veronica smiled big and pulled her friend into a hug.

“Thank you, Heather.” She smiled big and pulled away. “You’re really a great person, you know that?” Veronica asked. Mac giggled and put her hands on her cheeks, shaking her head.

“Cut it out Ronnie, you’re making me blush!” She exclaimed. Mac then looked up at her friend sweetly. “You do make hims crazy, and he told me it’s the best crazy ever.”

“Has JD ever said anything about me?” Heather interjecred.

“Why?”

“I just wanna know.” She shrugged.

“He said he thinks red is too flashy.” Mac admitted. Heather gripped her croquet mallet and gasped, which cut off into seething.

“Well you tell him that black makes him look like he’s on trial in Salem for being a witch. And then tell him I’m going to burn him at the stake!” She growled.

“Burn the witch!” Veronica laugh, twirling her mallet. “Whose turn is it?” She asked.

“How are you not more offended by this?” Heather asked. “He called red flashy.”

“JD said he likes green, so I don’t really care.” Duke admitted.

“You get along with JD too?” Veronica asked. Duke shrugged.

“Well, not really. We still throw insults but… he said my hair tie was a pretty color and… I guess he’s nice company.” She shrugged and tried to sound like she didn’t care. “You should keep him…. He’s still crazy though.” She added quickly. Veronica laughed and shook her head.

“Yeah… he sure is.”

anonymous asked:

god bless your post on heathers characterizations, when someone says "the one who didn't do anything wrong and was pushed to suicide" people think macnamara and RARELY martha, who really DIDNT do anything wrong it's wild

Mcnamara was just as bad as Duke and Chandler

And Martha aside, you know who everyone hypocritically overlooks? Duke. The fandom portrays her as this 2D Disney villian type, when you know what Mac’s depressive phase is supposed to mimic? Duke. 

It’s more obvious in the script, since Mac starts wearing green/using the green croquet ball/etc., but when Duke takes on Chandler’s roles and characteristics, Mac takes on Duke’s. It’s a flow of power. 

And furthermore, while Mac was upset over everything that was going on, and maybe even depressed, alot of it was her following a trend. Suicide was what was popular at the time. That’s kind of the point. So Duke (and in the musical Martha) are an actual genuine representation of what you’re all portraying Mac as, and yet no one cares lmao.

10

THE DIARY OF A TEENAGE MUSCLE ADDICT

Dear Diary,

It’s taken approximately 17 years, 6 months and 28 days but its FINALLY happened. I’M IN LOVE! Well and truly, deeply and madly, utterly and stupidly, can’t eat sleep or think of anything else, head over heels in love! And the object of my undying affection/rampant teenage keep getting boners every 5 bloody seconds lust?? The new Russian exchange student at school Ivan! Oh Ivan. How is it possible for one human being to be so God damn bloody cute (seriously, like the cutest thing you have EVER seen) whilse also being so God damn fucking GORGEOUS?! If I described him as the most adorably gorgeous boy to ever walk the Earth even THAT wouldn’t feel like I was doing him proper justice! And oh yeah, there’s another thing you should know about my future husband Ivan. He happens to be a real life, cartoonishly huge, genuine competitive bodybuilding muscle boy!! We’re talking every single body part exploding & bulging out for miles, twice as big and beefy as any fucking lad in any of my classes and a frame so wide he can barely fit in the school fucking hallways! FUUUCKKK!!

He’s like a miniature version of all the huge, freaky, vein splattered bodybuilders in the muscle mags I get out and have a sneaky look at/cheeky tug over every night, before hiding them under my bed, which by the way I am convinced my mum has found. That would explain why she hasn’t been able to look me in the eye for weeks, and why when my dad simply said the word “magazine” she dropped about four dinner plates on to the kitchen floor, before muttering something and scurrying out the room, face as red as a bleedin’ beetroot, with a look of sheer panic, horror and mortified embarrassment etched across it like some dirty old man in a trench coat had just flashed his penis at her!

Even when Ivan was standing at the front of the class as Mr Kennedy was introducing him, and he was covered up by his jacket, he still looked fucking MASSIVE! Like a fucking tank on two legs. Huge thick meat bulging underneath his clothing, begging to burst out. And then of course when Mr Kennedy announced “Ivan has entered muscle man competitions”, which caused a few whispers and giggles from the rest of the class, my face went bright, something started swelling under my desk and I prayed for the ground to swallow me whole. And then Mr K said, “Come on Ivan, show us those guns”! OH. MY. GOD!! Ivan blushed like mad (cuuuute) but his face erupted in a cheeky/smug smirk! He coyly took off his jacket and FUCK ME HARD his arms were fucking HUUUUGE!!! Two monstrously thick fucking cannon just popping out below the sleeves of his t shirt. A ripple of gasps and giggles rode through the room and Mr Kennedy, in his typically and excruciatingly embarrassing manner continued, “my gosh Ivan you are a big lad. Come on then boyo, give us a flex. Show us some pump”. Ivan’s cute little cheeks burned up even more as he tentatively raised his right arm and flexed into a one arm bicep, his huge hard croquet ball shaped muscle erupting and exploding beside his oh-so-gorgeous mug. At this point my face had turned so red I could have been mistaken for a 5"10 lobster in a school uniform. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life, but also just about the most incredibly freaky nand unbelievably horny thing my eyes have ever witnessed and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since!!

Now I’m not a religious man, but tonight I felt the need to get down on knees, rest my arms on the end of my bed and say a little prayer. This is how it went; “Dear God. I know we have never spoken before, and I know I’ve never really paid much attention in R.E, nor am I sure that I even believe you exist, but if you can fix it for Ivan, aka the huge, pumped, cuter than cute mountain of Russian muscle gorgeousness/rotten cute, roid stuffed, muscle God of my dreams, to return my love/affection/wanting to cream my undies every time I think of his beastly biceps erupting at the front of the class (i.e. every fucking second of the day) then I promise I will never EVER bunk off school and spend the day getting drunk in the park on a bottle of vodka stole from my parents cabinet again, I will stop sneaking into my sisters room and reading her diary, and my days of stealing the pick n mix from Woolies when the security guards not looking will be over. Oh and I will stop forging my moms signature to write notes for getting out of P.E. And I suppose I’ll try and stop screaming "get out of my fucking face you bitch I hate you & I wish I was adopted”.

Failing that God, if you could fix it for Ivan to have some kind of temporary amnesia, long enough for me to convince him that we are life long lovers and he is head over tan painted heels in love with me, thus allowing me to touch, feel and squeeze every single one of his indecently pumped outrageously big muscles before fucking him untill there’s nothing left but a pair of posing trunks and a damp patch, then I promise I won’t ask or want for anything else again".

Right diary, I’m off to dream about whatever’s hiding/bulging underneath Ivan’s shirt. My guess? A perfectly pumped pair of the most lickable pecs and the cutest little set of ripped up skin stretching abdominal muscles bursting through his tummy. Oh and if my own tummy isn’t covered in sticky white love cream when I wake up tomorrow morning it will be a fucking miracle!

Love muscleaddict, aged 17

The signs as things that happened in my theater group.
  • ARIES: This one kid made his own bow prop and accidentally shot an arrow into the ceiling. It stayed there for 3 seasons, maybe more. We don’t know if someone eventually took it down or if it fell out on its own.
  • TAURUS: The girl who was sick for the ENTIRE run of a show and was literally throwing up in the dressing rooms but walked onstage anyway and did her part like nothing was wrong.
  • GEMINI: The guy who was a stand-in for Captain Hook on a couple of rehearsals and he insisted on playing him as the gayest man in existence, the polar opposite of how the actual actor was playing him.
  • CANCER: The girl who was too afraid to go onstage and when the actors and stage manager looked for her backstage she literally disappeared and didn’t show up for 10 minutes. No one is really sure where she was hiding because the backstage is so small. (it resulted in the greatest improvised scene onstage though)
  • LEO: The greatest improvised scene in the entire history of our theater group that happened due to the one actor mysteriously disappearing.
  • VIRGO: The stage manager who had to keep on filling roles for minor parts because the director insisted there would be actors to fill but there weren’t.
  • LIBRA: The girl who lost her pants in the unisex dressing room and yelled “Hashtag where are my pants?”
  • SCORPIO: That one girl at the afterparty who snorted pepper and immediately threw up on her neighbor’s shoes.
  • SAGITTARIUS: The lights going out in the middle of the show and the Queen of Hearts, still in character, screamed “whO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS” and when they came back on “That’s better.”
  • CAPRICORN: In Alice in Wonderland, no one could find the balls for the croquet scene. So this guy just came onstage with an empty tray and said “The balls are invisible today, m’lady.” And the scene went on as normal with everyone pantomiming the croquet balls.
  • AQUARIUS: The guy who took a selfie with the Jesus that was sharpied on the wall backstage (and missed his cue because of it).
  • PISCES: In Charlie and the Chocolate factory when the fat kid falls into the chocolate river, the mother was supposed to scream “He can’t swim!” and instead screamed “He can’t drown!”
Prince! Luke Imagine

Pairing: Y/N and Luke

Rating: loads of fluff fam

Summary: You are a servant at the Hemming’s Palace but Luke fancies you better than the proper maids he’s forced to communicate with. 

         Your parents got you the job when you were 16. You were to be a servant girl at the Hemming’s Palace, the rulers of your small country, and send all the payments back home to help your family. You were even allowed to stay in a small part of the castle, along with the rest of your coworkers. The job wasn’t hard really. You were there at every meal, waiting to be addressed for more water or to a new dinner cloth. You had made friends with a girl just two years older than you, her name was Madeline. Best friends, you would say since you spent a majority of your day with her. Sometimes you would help the queen get prepared for a big event, lacing up her corset as she winces in pain. Or sometimes you would await outside during afternoon croquet, fetching the balls if one of the younger guests didn’t grasp the concept. The job actually wasn’t bad, most everyone woke up with happy smiles and enthusiasm to be working and living in the prettiest castle within a 100 mile radius. No, the only problem you encounter on a day to day basis was Prince Luke. Quite possibly the most tender hearted, and not to mention, attractive, person you’ve ever made eye contact with. But he was a prince, it wouldn’t…couldn’t go anywhere. Still, dreaming about his long arms around your body as you sleep in your cot wasn’t the worst thing to do with your free time. 

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3

Luna and the Goats in the Croquet Court of Corte Eremo, Mantua.

For some reason the croquet court is full of daisies. It must be one of two things: they either do better than other weeds and grass being cut very short (this area is kept low so the croquet balls roll better) or daisies spread when the lawn is watered. This area was watered several times last year to keep the croquet lawn as smooth and green as possible. 

A Soul Lost at Sea (Olicity Victorian AU Fanfiction) Chapter 2

Rating:  Mature

Summary:  Five years after pirates attacked his ship, Royal Navy sailor Oliver Queen returns home to England to find his affluent family in financial ruin.  So when he’s presented with the opportunity to marry Felicity, eldest daughter of the ridiculously wealthy Noah Smoak, Oliver doesn’t hesitate to capture her hand…even though he has no idea if he can capture her heart.  Or if Felicity could ever possibly learn to love a soul lost at sea.

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The SassaFass Wedding

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A/N It’s taken me forever to write this. Once I realized that they didn’t want the huge wedding I had planned for them that included, among other things a fleet of food trucks, a lawn spray painted to look like a Twister board, and a Florence and The Machine concert, everything proceeded relatively quickly. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate, and Happy Holidays to all of you.

Halla’s dress made her look like a bride, but neither she nor Michael really wanted a wedding. They just wanted to be married to each other. And so they planned for a marriage celebration instead of a wedding, discarding lots of the traditions that the bridal magazines insisted on and added in things that mattered to them. They rented a beautiful estate in Ireland and invited all their friends and family to join them for several days. There were no planned activities, but there were things to do, and games were invented including a rousing game of golf cart polo with croquet mallets that left one golf cart being chased by perturbed geese and the permanent loss of at least three croquet balls. It was casual and fun and the only scheduled event for the five days was the actual wedding ceremony at six pm Friday evening.

There was no bride’s side or groom’s side. They had the chairs arranged in a spiral so that they would get to walk through all of their guests, and everyone would be closer to where Michael and Halla would stand. Halla told her attendants to wear a pink dress they felt pretty in; Michael told his to wear a suit if they weren’t wearing a kilt like he was. She didn’t want a bouquet she would have to carry around so she ordered a wrist corsage of pink ranunculus and wildflowers. Michael wore a small pink ranunculus and a sprig of eucalyptus in his button hole. They held the wedding at the old brick mill at the estate. Baskets of eucalyptus and wildflowers were placed all around the room, along with big thick candles on old wooden dressers and tables. Garlands of herbs and wildflowers were draped along the windows, and moss encrusted pots of shamrocks were tucked in nooks and crannies.

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anonymous asked:

"Oh! Yes! Right there! That's it! Yes, yes!" Sherlock shouts. "Practicing your sex noises again?" Greg asks standing in the doorway of 221b. "Skyping on a case with John actually," Sherlock tells him, "say hello to George." "Hi John," Greg says into the computer completely mortified. "Hi Greg!" John waves back. "John tell forensics to analyze that croquet ball and they'll have their murder weapon." "Will do," John says. "So not shagging John?" Greg clarifies. "My tastes run a bit more silver."

YES!!! \o/ ~♥