anonymous asked:

a thought; mer!kylo from one of those species of fish where they don't got dicks, the lady just spews some eggs that the dude cropdusters, so kylo has no concept of sex or arousal, but he pulls a little mermaid and sells his voice for legs and he's just like "I only asked for two??". He gets a boner and thinks he's dying.


anonymous asked:

Can we talks about yoi hcs? More specific. Farts and burps and other embarrassing things.

  • okay, did you see saturday night live this weekend, where dwayne johnson and vanessa bayer were supposed to be filming a classy romantic vintage film, and vanessa bayer kept ripping farts and saying, “can we start over? i’ve made a terrible mistake.” that’s victor.  victor will skate past yakov and be like, “i made a terrible mistake!” and yakov will be like, that triple axel was fi–VICTOR, just getting terribly cropdusted.  
  • victor thinks he is being classy and that no one notices it’s him
  • everyone notices
  • yuuri pees in the shower
  • victor will be like, hey, sweetheart, you wanna shower together? and yuuri will be like, um, i’m peeing.
  • yuuri, i use that shower too! victor will whine and yuuri will be like, it goes into a drain, get over it! 
  • victor is actually a hairy beast, but he shaves because athletic fabric is a bitch if you have long leg hair, and it clogs up the shower drain, so when yuuri pees in the shower sometimes it pools around his leg and then it IS disgusting, and fuck you, victor!!
  • but also i like to imagine yuuri likes baths more anyway, and victor has a gentle touch, and sometimes yuuri will be in the bath and victor will shave his legs for him and massage his feet
  • yuuri can count on more than one hand the number of times he’s seen victor nikiforov throw up in a dress from drinking too much
  • yurio is a passive aggressive nose picker and hides his boogers in victor’s apartment.  

the PAULyamorous ❤ PAULrus 💁🏻‍♂️ has visited u 💦💦💦 Goo goo 🥂 g'joob! 🍾 Send this 📲 to 🔟 other 🥚Eggmen 🍳 or the joker 🤡 will laugh at you 😂😂😂 If you get 0️⃣ back you’re a loser 😒😒😒 If you get 1️⃣ back you’re going to lose that girl 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ If you get 2️⃣ back you’re only half the 👼 you used to be 🍳🍳🍳 If you get 4️⃣ back you better run for your life 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ If you get 5️⃣ back your ❤ will get a ticket to ride 🚃🚖🛴 and they won’t care 🙅🙅‍♂️ If you get 6️⃣ back you’ll get by 👌 with a little help 👍 from your friends 👯👯‍♂️ If you get 7️⃣ back you’ll get high 🚬🌴🌳🌲 with a little help 👍 from your friends 👯👯‍♂️ If you get 8️⃣ back you’ll feel fine 😏😏😏😏😏 If you get 9️⃣ back you’ll get a taste 👅 of honey 🐝🍯🐝 If you get 🔟 back Paul McCartney will cropdust 🍑💨 you in an English garden 🌷🌹🌻🌼🌲 waiting for the sun ⛅️🌤☀️ if the sun doesn’t come you’ll get a bottle 🍾 of Paul’s 🍑💨 to use as perfume 👃💕 from standing in the English rain 🌧☔️

I was tagged by @rock-basstard and @flutter-girl-21 (Sorry this took so long! xx)

Rules: We’re snooping on your playlist. Set your entire music library on shuffle and report the first 10 songs that pop up. Then choose 10 victims.

1. Reach Down - Temple of the Dog
2. Limo Wreck - Soundgarden
3. Act My Age -1D
4. Die, Die My Darling - Metallica
5. Cropduster - Pearl Jam
6. Hold On - Pearl Jam
7. No Excuses - Alice In Chains
8. Whiteout - Warpaint
9. The Last of the Famous International Playboy’s - Morrissey
10. So Good - Warpaint

I’m honestly too tired to tag people rn but anyone who wants to show off their sick music taste, go for it 😉 Just pretend I tagged you!

donate to my kickstarter so i can create anti-chemtrails, where i get in my cropduster and spray healthy gatorade all over the american people 

Wizard World 2016

Ok, so for funsies, and because I need this documented for future reference for when I conveniently forget what it was like to interact with/touch Gillian, I’m going to write down my ENTIRE experience of that day.  The day.  The big day that I died and went to x-phile heaven.  I’m taking note from @2momsmakearight and including pictures, because why not?  WARNING:  I tend to swear a lot.  

I had to be up at 2:45am to be out the door by 4am.  Why didn’t we (my husband and I) just leave Friday?  Because work and other lame ass adult responsibilities had forbidden us from an earlier departure.  Plus, I needed *some* sleep before one of the longest days of my life. 

I wake up at 2:45am on the freaking dot, and begin the long task of getting ready on 2 hours of sleep.  I was so fucking excited the night before that I couldn’t get myself to pass out.  Anyways, cup of coffee number one to the rescue, and I was ready at 3:45am.  I forgot to check the weather for MY location the day before, and color me surprised when the 96% humidity I walked out into completely ruined my hair.  Surprisingly, I didn’t care.  I was just ready to get to Chicago.

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