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Walmart Employee Rant of the Day

Possible TMI Alert

So as you all probably know, I work at Walmart, and I have Crohn’s disease. For those of you that don’t know about Crohn’s, well, it’s a shitty disease…really. Whenever my symptoms act up, I live on the toilet for a few hours at a time, typically doubled over in pain. Anyways, I’ve been working at Wally for about 2 months now, and I’ve already had to call off three times due to my Crohn’s (stress from school/work/life seems to be agitating my symptoms). I was informed last week that if I call off once more (before I hit my 90 day mark), I will be fired. Even if it’s illness related. So, today, I’m not feeling good at all. I’m cramping as if I were trying to pass a watermelon through my colon. Since I was unable to call off, I gritted my teeth, popped some Imodium (which is as effective as pissing on a forest fire) and went to work. I’m on lunch currently and I’ve been to the bathroom three times. The first time, I was there for 30 minutes. I came out of the bathroom and went back to my department, folding oversized khakis. I was then confronted by my manager, a middle aged lady with a permanent frown etched into her face. I looked up at her and she lowered her voice. “You were in the bathroom for half an hour.” She said. “yes ma'am, I was.” “It shouldn’t take you that long,” she said. What the actual fuck? I kept from losing my temper and reminded her that I have a chronic condition that makes bathroom visits an all too frequent and unpleasant experience. “Well, if you’re that sick, you need to call off, so you’re not stuck in the bathroom on the clock, using the company’s time.”

So, if I call off, I lose my job.

If I come to work during a flare up and spend a certain amount of time in the bathroom, I have to justify my half hour long shits to management.

Damned if I do, damned if I don’t. But the way I see it…half hour in the bathroom on company time = about $3.75 earned. So hey, I may not get to suffer at home, but technically Walmart is paying me to poop.

(in all honesty, I’m going to talk to human resources about filling out necessary ADA paperwork to allow me extra call-off days, which I am eligible for based on a recommendation from my doctor.)