crochet socks

Humans are STILL weird.

Yes, I’m still at it. I can’t stop. Send help. 

Human language is very difficult. Too much is conveyed by body language and what they call ‘tone’. Thankfully Humans are patient with misunderstandings, and largely shrug off difficulties and explain as needed. No one is quite sure what the word ‘fuck’ means, and they are all afraid to ask. Its use is wide and varied, and too often leads to violence of one kind or another. 

When Humans began signing on as crew for multi-species vessels, they began hauling in all sorts of… things. Things that had NOTHING to do with their abilities to do their jobs. Musical instruments, pictures that were cut to pieces which are then reassembled painstakingly, chemical enhancements imbibed for recreational purposes, miniature pre-contact transportation vessels built in containers of glass that serve no evident purpose, meters and kilometers and LIGHT YEARS of string and sticks and small fiddly bits. 
“What do you do when you’re not working?” 
“Prepare for more work.”
“Wow. Sounds boring.” 

Really, not just knitting. The construction of any and all garments on-board ship. Often garments that serve no clear purpose. All needed gear is issued upon arrival. So why is that human standing watch with a handful of long metal wires and a ball of string? AND HOW DID IT BECOME A SOCK? WHY DO THEY KNOW WHAT SOCKS ARE? Crocheted lace is banned among some species because it triggers a closed-loop neurological function when watched. 

It’s not so much being bored that confuses other species. Any beings who traverse the stars are familiar with moments, sometimes long moments, of nothing to do. It is Humans’ approach to this feeling that is unusual. They DO THINGS. Too often, they involve others. “Bands” playing harmonious sounds. “Movie Night” becomes a thing in Human space, so common that for a long time other species thought it was a ritual of some kind. They include the rest of the crew; the crew is usually confused by Human ideas of entertainment. Attempts to share stories in the other direction only lead to the Humans themselves being confused. 

The first Human to introduce rugby to a ship as a way to kill time was nearly tried for mutiny. 

I am feeling very honored, that so many crocheters like my socks. I was asked for the pattern. But unfortunately i made them freestyle. To make you happy and to thank you for your compliments I tried to write down what I did. So here is my first own pattern (without to many mistakes I hope).


- I used a 5mm hook. In UK it is a 6 and in US it is a 8/H
- My footsize is 38 (or 7,5 US)
- I used one skein of Red Heart Boutique Unforgettable, Color Stained Glass for both socks
- I crochet tight

Toes and length of the foot are crocheted in rounds. Not continious rounds but rather like this:

Join last and first stitch of the round with a sl st. Chain 1, sc (toe) or hdc (footlength) in same stitch and then continue to crochet sc or hdc. Repeat joining every round.


- Start with a magic ring with 7 sc
- Increase every sc (=14)
- Increase every sc like this

sc sc sc sc sc sc sc
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
sc hdc dc dc dc hdc sc
sc hdc dc dc dc hdc sc (=28)

- Increase No. 5 and 24 (=30)
- Increase No. 6 and 25 (=32)
- Increase No. 5 and 28 (=34)
- Crochet a last round 34 sc


- Go on with 34 hdc
- Repeat 21 times
- End with sl st in first stitch of the round


- Chain 1, skip next stitch, sc, sl st, turn (=1sc)
- Chain 1, increase sc, sl st, turn (=2sc)
- Chain 1, increase every sc, sl st, turn (=4sc)
- Chain 1, increase first and last sc, sl st, turn (=6sc)
- Repeat, until you reached 18sc, sl st, turn
- Chain 1, sc in every sc, sl st, turn (=18sc)
- Repeat, until you have 16 stitches on the footlength left (16 + 18 = 34 stitches)
- Then do 9 sl st to the middle of the heel
- Chain 1, hdc in same stitch, 33 hdc (=34), sl st in first stitch of the round
- Chain 1, Decrease 2 hdc (=32), sl st
- Cut yarn, but leave enough to sew foot and leg together


- Chain 31 (Attention: following sc in the bumps of the back of the crocheted chain)
- Sc in No. 30, 29 sc (=30)
- Chain 1, 30 sc in backloops only
- Repeat 43 times
- Turn your work and sew beginning chain with the last round together
- Make a little sc border like this: Chain 1, sc in same stitch, 2 sc in next stitch, repeat 1 sc / 2 sc until you reach the first sc (=33sc)
- Finish with sl st in first stitch of the round
- Cut yarn and sew it in


Turn foot and leg inside out, connect both, sew yarn ends in. Turn outside in, finished. :)

Hey look, it’s my legs!  It got all the way up to sixty-two degrees (I really haven’t gotten the hang of Celsius and have given up trying) and I figured it was high time to pull my sandals out and prove to my parents that it was a good idea to bring them.

[Image description: one full-body photo of a young woman (me) with very short pink hair that’s kind of in a bob.  I am wearing a huge dark orange pullover sweater with a wide neck and a hem that goes down to about mid-thigh.  It’s covering the majority of my dress, but the bottom part of the skirt–burgundy lace and tulle, with a handkerchief hem–is showing.  I also have on dark grey crocheted-looking socks and brown sandals with various straps and buckles.  I am wearing large gold earrings and dark red lipstick.  As always, I have on my round black glasses.]

secret-world-of-mustaches  asked:

I saw that you already answered about cat diy's but I was wondering if you knew about anymore? My friend and I are cat crazy and I wanted to find something to make for her that was cat themed especially since i learned how to crochet! Thanks! :D

Hey there, no problem! I can help you guys out!

We’ll start off with some crochet stuff:

External image

DIY Cuddly Cat Crochet Scoodie with Pockets

DIY Crochet Cat Applique

Another Cat Butt Coaster

Crochet Peeking Cat Butt Coaster

DIY Pusheen Sock Plush

DIY Star Bleached Shirts

DIY Plant Pot Cat

DIY Blinged Out Cat Ears Headband

sew-much-to-do: a visual collection of sewing tutorials/patterns, knitting, diy, crafts, recipes, etc.